Chapter Forty Four #3
My lease ends at the beginning of next month and Benjamin doesn’t know that which makes the surprise all the more—well—surprising. And while we’re there we’ll pick a plot of land, and we will build our forever home intended just for us.
Benjamin will never feel as if he has no home of his own. Never again. And today—I’ll show him that.
Benjamin is in the kitchen making cheese danishes when I wake up so the apartment smells like a dreamy bakery.
“I want one.” I tell him, wandering into the kitchen, rubbing my eyes and yawning away the urge to get back in bed.
“Patience. The first batch is in the oven. I’m making some for Fe, too.” He’s got a spoon in his mouth, so his words sound awkward and muffled.
“He’ll love that. You can drop them off on our way out.” Benjamin’s head whips in my direction—pausing his mixing of what I assume is a glaze. He pulls the spoon out of his mouth.
“Way out? Where are we going?” I kiss his forehead, sticking my finger into the mix and bringing it to my tongue. “Hey!”
“Hmm—that’s really good, Button.” He flushes red, rolling his eyes and continuing to mix. “And it’s a surprise.”
“A surprise? You just proposed to me yesterday. Don’t tell me—are you pregnant?” Benjamin gasps and I rest my thumb on his tongue while he feigns shock.
“You’re the one having my babies, Benjamin.” His lashes flutter when I press down on the ball lightly. Then—he gives me one dramatic blink. “Good. Now stop being nosy and make me some damn danishes.”
The danishes are really good.
◆◆◆
The neighborhood I rented the house in is really nice.
The houses are spread out so no neighbor is right up on the other—but you can still see that you have them.
The driveway has a double-car garage connecting to the house—which is two bedrooms, two baths.
The master is pretty damn big, but the main appeal is the big tub in the en-suite bathroom.
The mirrors are also huge—all the more space for Benjamin to stare at himself.
The kitchen and living room are just like any normal living room and kitchen—a swinging door connecting the two.
In the kitchen is a sliding glass door that takes you to the backyard.
It’s one story—white trim—baby-blue paint.
Fuck—they even put in a white picket fence.
Maybe we can get a dog for our big yard.
As we’re driving through the neighborhood Benjamin looks over at me.
“Am I meeting someone important today? Now that I’m your fiancé?” I give him a grin.
“Say it again.” Benjamin rolls his eyes.
“I’m your fiancé.” I groan.
“One more.”
“If I keep saying it—it’ll lose its charm.” He says, clicking his tongue at me.
“That could literally never happen. But you’re off the hook—we’re here.”
We get out of the truck and when Benjamin comes around to my side I take his hand. He’s trembling a bit which tells me he’s nervous to meet whoever he thinks he’s meeting. I walk us to the front gate—pausing before I open it. Benjamin stumbles.
“You okay?” He asks, staring at me with his big hazel eyes.
“What do you think?” I nod toward the house—watching as he turns and examines it with a blank expression. My skin is crawling with nerves.
“It’s nice.” He grins—turning back to look at me. “Actually—this house looks just like one of those houses in the magazines my mom had. I used to flip through them and think—wow, a happy family must live there. You know—the American Dream and all that.” Bingo.
Benjamin doesn’t seem fazed by my responding smile—he’s used to me looking at him like this is the best day of my life. I start walking us toward the front. Benjamin knocks, wiping his palms on his shorts.
“I’m nervous.” He whispers. I watch his face—the darting eyes and lip-biting. After a few seconds, I hand him a key. “Motherfucker!” He’s glaring daggers at me as he unlocks the door. “We were house-sitting this whole time? Why’d you let me be all nervous? You’re such a— what?”
He walks into the house, peering around the corner on the left into the living room. The completely unfurnished living room.
“Hm?” I ask. “I’m a what?”
“A dick.” He mumbles—but he’s not really paying me any attention. He heads to the right and peeks into the guest room. As each second passes he is more confused. He’s so unused to being treated to things that it hasn’t even crossed his mind that this could be ours.
Benjamin walks further down the hall—walks into the master bedroom and walks back out. He’s staring into the kitchen when he speaks again.
“Ah—Aaron. I think we might get axe-murdered. Who the fuck are we house-sitting for? A gang leader?” I can’t help but chuckle which makes him turn to look at me still leaning in the doorway of the front door. “You are way too calm right now.”
“That’s because it’s supposed to be empty.” He scrunches his nose, walking toward me.
“What? Is it new?”
“Yep—they just finished building it this January, no one’s ever lived here.” Benjamin looks around him again, slipping his index finger into my front pocket.
“Oh, that makes sense. Why are we watching a brand-new house? Who’s moving in here?” He looks back up at me—oblivious and content to just be here with me—house-sitting the empty house. I cup his jaw, watching him lean into me without even thinking about it. So beautiful.
“We are.”
“Ah, well— what?!” He gives himself whiplash looking back up at me. “Sorry? Like a long-term house-sitting arrangement or?” I shake my head, smiling down at him.
“No. I rented this house. To live in.” Benjamin takes a step back—looking around him again.
“I… I really don’t understand, Aaron. Like—yeah, I know what renting a house means. But… you want me to move in with you here? Why did you rent a house? You don’t like your apartment anymore?” As he stares back up at me, I realize the meaning behind this place is flying right over his head.
“Benjamin. This house isn’t my house. It’s ours.
” His eyes widen. “You lived almost your entire life not having a home that’s genuinely just for you.
Somewhere to call a home. So—I got us one.
You are the first person to ever live here, the first resident to walk the floors.
This is as much your home as it is mine. ” He doesn’t move—doesn’t breathe.
“Uh…” I give him a moment—when he doesn’t say anything I continue.
“Once we’re married, I will be your family. This will be our home. And the end goal is to—while renting this house—buy a plot of land wherever you want and build our own home. A forever home.” I wonder if he’s actually breathing or not. “Button?” He blinks.
“I think I died on the bridge.” He is completely serious.
“What?!”
“You don’t understand me, Aaron.” I think Benjamin is genuinely panicking.
“I’ve been alive for 22 years and until recently I’ve never…
I’ve never been allowed this kind of happiness.
Not like this. Not so much at once. So, either the world is going to end or I died and the universe is making up for all its wrongdoings by letting me play out my fantasies. ”
I reach out—pull him to me—hold his face.
“Hey—listen to me. You’re not dead and the world’s not ending.
Want to know what I think?” Benjamin nods against my hands.
“I think all the bad cards finally ran out. You were dealt so many horrors so young, and they never seemed to stop. Now, I think they’ve simply run out. Baby—all you have left is happiness.”
He buries his face into my neck, sniffling and wrapping his arms around my waist. I let him calm—I wait until he’s not trembling.
Eventually, he speaks.
“So… we live here? Together? As fiancés?”
“Ah—fuck that sounds so sexy. Let’s fuck on the bedroom floor.” Benjamin laughs—pulling back to look at me.
“You’re such a pervert.” I wrap an arm around his waist, pull him back against me.
“I’m just in love with you.” He blushes, staring back at me with those fucking eyes.
“Are you? Tell me how in love you are. Let me hear you say it.” He’s looking up at me so enticingly—so seductive.
“I’m so in love with you—you’re all I think about all day.
Any time I see your clothes lying around all I think about is stripping them off of you.
When someone mentions you, it pisses me off because only I should have your name in my mouth.
” Benjamin moans—pushing his hips into mine.
“I’m so fucking in love with you that the first thing I did when I graduated was start looking for our home.
So in love for so long that five years ago at that fucking party—I saw you going to fuck that girl and I felt such unbearable, untamable rage.
I didn’t care if it meant you beating the shit out of me—I wasn’t letting it happen. ”
“Aaron—fuck. Let’s go home.” He’s pulling on my hand—eyes glassy and shorts more tented the harder he gets.
“We are home.” He whines.
“I know—but take me to the apartment and rail me on our bed while you tell me how much you love me. You can fuck me here when there’s no risk of ruining the carpets.
” This makes me laugh. Of course that’s what he’s thinking of.
I grab him, tossing him over my shoulder and landing a hard smack onto his ass. “Aaron.”
“Come on, baby—I have a million more love confessions to whisper to you while you scream.