Chapter Forty Five #3
After helping Mom with the dishes a little later—I find Benjamin sitting next to the pool—dragging his foot in the water. Arizona weather never gets cold enough.
“Going for a swim?” I poke at him and he rolls his eyes.
“It’s not that warm, Archer.” Sitting down next to him, I stare at the water. “Remember the last time we swam together? I’ve been out here replaying it in my mind.” I can feel my dick hardening just thinking about it.
“Oh—you mean the night you asked me to damn near skinny-dip with you only to get all hard against me and tell me how badly you wanted me to fuck you? But poor Drew—you just couldn’t cheat on such a perfect guy.” Benjamin shoves my shoulder—rolling his eyes once more.
“Alright, smartass. But yes—that night.” He looks at me, tries to read my eyes.
“I remember you holding me in the water and how my entire body fought to stay in your reach. It physically and mentally upset me to be good and walk away. I hated myself for that. For how badly I wanted you next to me.” Aw, fuck.
“Baby—” I pull him closer, making him sit between my legs and pulling his foot out of the water. “That night I considered chaining myself up like a dog so I wouldn’t follow you inside and seduce you into my bed with me.”
“It makes me a monster but if you had asked—if you had ever actually pushed those boundaries—I don’t think I would have denied you.
” I can’t help the deep groan that rumbles out of me as I lean down, kissing his neck.
“The day of your graduation—when you stood there looking like I had just ripped you to shreds when I told you Drew and I had started dating—that tore me up so bad. I… I wanted to hold you. I wanted to say never mind, dump Drew, and fix it for you. But you didn’t want me and I liked Drew well enough as a person, so…
it haunts me now though.” I lick a strip from his shoulder to his ear and he squeezes my thigh—gasping softly.
“I was so heartbroken. I knew how badly I wanted you—but I couldn’t be with you. All I could do was watch.” A memory flashes into my mind, and I grab Benjamin by his shoulders—pulling him back to glare down at him. His eyes widen as he searches my face.
“What? What happened?”
“Want to know what I just remembered, Benjamin?”
“Oh, fuck. Something not good—I imagine.” He’s equal parts terrified, amused, and turned on. It is a very sexy combination on him.
“No—it is not. On my graduation day I also confronted you about what I saw you two doing against the swim annex.” Benjamin flushes a dark red.
“When I found you there, I couldn’t even move.
For a good few minutes, I stood there trying not to puke.
And I wasn’t even angry; I was so fucking sad.
I hated him so much. And then—guess what he fucking did right in front of me. Guess!”
“Did he say I felt good?” I press my hand over his mouth.
“Alright—never mind—no more guessing for you. I’ll just tell you.
He took his nasty little thieving hand and laid it right over the place where we connect the deepest—where our souls become one.
Right here—” I lay my hand over the skin between his hips—just above his groin.
“He licked you and kissed you and laid his nasty fucking hands on the most paramount part of your body. My fiancé’s body.
I thought about begging him to stop—but figured you’d get mad.
Then you started whimpering for him and I could finally move, could finally run. So, I did—and I cried in my truck.”
Benjamin looks sad now, which wasn’t my intention, but it feels really good to have shared with him; I want to share more. So, I return my gaze to where my hand lays and I do.
“And—to add insult to injury—he then goes and takes it from me. Took away that first moment for you—where you connect so deeply with someone—where your soul intertwines with someone else’s.
When you finally understand—feel what it means to be completely full of somebody else.
He ripped it right out of my hands in my own fucking house.
One door over. If anyone was an animal during all those years—it was him.
He knew what he was doing, how he was crushing me. ”
I raise my eyes from Benjamin’s hips to his eyes and see he’s crying now, biting his bottom lip to keep the sobs at bay.
“I never felt that with him.” I stare at him for a moment—I’m not really understanding.
“What?”
“I never felt connected to him. Never felt completely full. It was just… sex. That’s why I was so sad, so regretful that it hadn’t been you.
Because I knew if it had—” He hiccups. “It would have been something completely different. So, no—I didn’t understand—didn’t know.
Not until that hotel room where I devoted the rest of my life to worshipping you. ”
I shove his face into my neck, feeling him wrap his arms around me. I rub his back—feel him shudder away the cries—calming himself—calming me.
“I’m not upset with you at all—in case you’re thinking that. You didn’t do anything wrong. I just… it felt nice to say it out loud.” Benjamin nods against me, squeezing me tighter.
“I love you so much. I’ve always loved you—even when I shouldn’t have.” He says to my neck and I kiss his head—pulling him closer—not a breath of space between us.
“I love you too, baby.”
“Amber’s here!” Felix yells out the back door—waving at us before disappearing.
“Shall we?”
I wipe his face, take his hand, and walk us inside.
Amber is in the den in a burnt-orange, ankle-length dress. It flows around her as she runs to me, pulling me into a big hug.
“A! I missed you these past few days. How’s the new house?”
“THE WHAT?” Tina comes rushing into the room—blazing glare already set on me.
“Way to go, Amber.” She shrugs, taking a seat next to a girl on the couch who I’m assuming came with her. “Mom—I recently rented a two-bedroom house for me and Benjamin to live in now that my lease is up.” I watch my mother take a deep breath—run a hand through her long black curls.
“Aaron.” Oh, fuck. “You know what? All of you—come here.” Benjamin, Amber, Fe, and Kayla follow me to stand in front of my mom—heads bowed. Dad is standing in the doorway eating a piece of pumpkin pie.
“Mom—”
“Who knew? About this house?” Everyone raises their hand and she sighs a heavy, disappointed sigh. “You’re all getting slapped.” She delivers a slap on the back of each of our heads and Amber glares at me.
“Great—I’ve earned my first Tina slap. I had a record going.”
“Well, I feel very included right now.” Kayla grins.
“I never thought building a future would earn me so much suffering.” Benjamin jokes and Mom rolls her eyes.
“Any more surprises? Any other major life events you are keeping me out of the loop of as if I didn’t raise you three boys?” I watch Benjamin flush red at being included in her questioning—being included as family.
“No.” I mumble—watching as she pins me with another glare before moving on to Benjamin.
“Bear—I can’t believe you’d forget to tell me something so exciting! You always fill me in on Aaron when I call!” I hear his little gasp—watching as he inches away from me. I grab the collar of his button-up, dragging him back.
“Woah, woah. Button—are you a spy for my mother?” He sputters—looking for words as he stares up at me, hands raised defensively.
“No! We talk on the phone sometimes and you know—you never tell her stuff. So, I’ll tell her how great you’re doing. See? Innocent.” I don’t look away, keep him pinned. “Ugh—okay fine. Sometimes when you piss me off, I call her and she tells me embarrassing baby stories to make me laugh.” I gasp.
“What?! That’s betrayal, Benjamin.” He scoffs.
“Would you rather I was shit-talking you?”
“Uh, yeah, kinda.” The rest of the family is laughing at our little spectacle, and Mom chooses now to chime in.
“Leave him be, Little Bird. Even when he calls all mad, he’s still all lovey-dovey about you—it’s quite adorable.” Benjamin flushes in my grip.
“Tina—come on girl.” He says under his breath.
“Family—if I could take this convo away from Aaron’s disgustingly cute relationship. I’d like to make an introduction.” The girl on the couch stands next to Amber and I realize she’s the same girl we saw with Amber at Felix’s wedding.
“Well, hello!” Mom smiles at her bright and cheery as if she wasn’t slapping her kids five minutes ago.
“This is Serenity. I met her during our second year at UA and in the past year we’ve started seeing each other. It’s pretty serious now—so I figured I’d introduce my girlfriend.” What?
“What?!” I can’t stop the word as it flies out of my mouth.
“Aaron—don’t tell me you’re homophobic. It’s 2023.” Felix cracks up laughing at her joke.
“You so obviously know that’s not what I’m upset about. You’re bi? Since when? Why didn’t you tell me? I told you as soon as I knew.” There’s hurt in my voice—I can hear it as it leaves my mouth.
Amber’s eyes widen and she looks at the ground for a moment.
“Um—if I can interject. Not to overstep, but I asked her not to tell anyone. My family isn’t exactly open-minded, so this has been a very difficult journey for me.
” Serenity offers, a nervous smile playing on her lips.
She is quite beautiful. Shoulder-length brown hair—light green eyes—symmetrical, soft facial structure.
They’re around the same height and look around the same weight too.
“Personally—I’ve never seen two fem girls together outside of porn.” Felix says and Kayla hits him so fast I don’t even have to yell at him.
“Dude—I’m kicking your ass. You’re so rude.” She gets onto him, giving him tiny kicks in his leg.
“It was a compliment! It’s cool to see people breaking norms!” Kayla just rolls her eyes, and I turn back to Amber who’s staring at me.
“I’m sorry.” She says and I know that she means it. I can’t help but grin at her.
“We are so the same person. If Benjamin told me to keep something a secret, it’d never see the light of day. Good for you, Amber. And I hope things work out with your family.” Serenity gives me a big, sincere smile and Amber smirks at me—throwing a wink in my direction.
“Yeah—congrats! More people for game night.” Benjamin beams.
“No!” Felix and Amber yell at the same time.
“You do not want to get caught in any game with those two. If they ever get divorced—it’ll be over a game of Monopoly.” Felix adds.
“Well—it wouldn’t be so bad if Aaron didn’t steal and cheat the whole time.”
“Okay?!” I turn to look at Benjamin who is still at my side. “You’re deflecting, Mr. Steals All The Real Estate.” I shoot back and I watch the glare form over his features as he crosses his arms.
“Oh—wow. That’s just great. That’s just soooo funny. I don’t have to steal or cheat because I’m good at the game.”
I can hear my mother laughing from the den as I chase Benjamin around the house. I finally catch him in the kitchen and he’s flushed red—giggling from the adrenaline. I wrap an arm around him, pinning him between me and the island.
“Got ya.” He’s grinning up at me, clearly not concerned. “Now you have to pay. With your body.” Benjamin laughs a loud, real laugh that makes me laugh with him.
“Pervert! Here—let me kiss you.” He grabs my face and kisses me quickly in succession.
As he’s pulling away, I grab his chin and bring him back—squeezing until his lips part and plunging my tongue into his mouth to play with the ball on his.
He whines against me, hands moving to clasp around the back of my neck.
After I’m at least a little satisfied, I let his chin free and take in his flushed face—big eyes—swollen lips. Fuck, he’s so beautiful. Then—because the universe hand-crafted Benjamin just for me—so perfect in every way, he opens his mouth and sticks out his tongue. Waiting.
Grabbing the hair on the back of his head I use it to bring him flush against me, staring down into his eyes as I spit in his mouth. He sighs, a content and relieved sigh that makes my dick twitch and his lashes flutter.
“All better?” I ask and he nods—keeping my spit in his mouth—waiting. I stare at him for a few beats, reminiscing about the fact that this is my life now. And then— “Swallow.” So, he does.
This Thanksgiving is so much better than last year.