Chapter 8
Eight
Pythor
To say that I was surprised to find Codie knocking at my door would be an understatement.
But when he gave me the sweetest, gentlest hug of my life?
I just about lost my mind. I'd been hugged many times in my life, mostly by my demon friends.
They were all very different people, and their hugs differed just as much.
Yet I'd never been hugged quite so sweetly before, and knowing how much Codie struggled with being close to people just made it that much sweeter.
Waving him into the house, I questioned whether he'd feel safer if I left the door open, and decided to leave it. It wasn't like anyone would just walk in in broad daylight, and even if they did, I would keep Codie safe.
Codie glanced around curiously, his arms crossed over his chest as he took in the bare walls and minimal decor. I'd copied something out of a magazine so it'd look like a normal human home, but after seeing his place, I had to wonder if those magazines actually portrayed normal human homes at all.
"Would you like something to drink? Coffee?" I asked, and Codie blinked, then nodded. His stomach growled, making his cheeks go pink, and I smiled. "Breakfast?"
"I don't want to be a bother," he started, but I waved him off, though when he followed me into the kitchen, I was a bit stumped.
While I knew how to make coffee, I didn't cook. All my food came from restaurants and bakeries, and the odd cookie deliveries from Eshim since he'd discovered his new hobby. I had no skills in the kitchen, and no food in my pantry.
"At least let me help. That will make me feel better," he said, reaching for the cabinet above the counter and opening it to reveal empty nothingness.
"Ah, it's this one," I said, waving to the cabinet next to it as I snapped the fingers of my other hand.
When Codie opened it, he grinned at the box of cereal sitting front and center. "Hey, I like that one too."
Of course he did. In my rush, I'd just replicated his pantry. I hoped he didn't notice.
"We can have it then," I said, taking out the box and closing the cabinet before I started searching for the bowls I didn't know if I had.
After some looking, I found two bowls, and magicked up two spoons when Codie was focused on the coffee machine.
As he poured coffee into two mugs, I took a moment to absorb how surreal this felt. Codie was here in my house. He'd left his home, crossed the street, and walked up to mine all on his own.
Hella rubbed against my leg, reminding me she'd been with him as well. She was clearly helping him feel safer, and I was glad. While the idea had been mine, Hella had been such a good sport about the whole thing.
She wasn't a normal dog, and I'd lied to Codie when I'd told him I got her from a shelter.
Hella was actually a demonhound, the only one of her kind.
She belonged to all the demons, and spent her time drifting between all of us.
I'd been worried she'd up and leave Codie if she got bored, but she seemed to understand that he needed her, and she'd stuck to his side ever since I introduced them.
"Here," Codie said, holding out the coffee mug, and I took it carefully, trying not to linger when our skin brushed. I loved this new closeness between us, loved knowing Codie trusted me, relied on me.
Placing the second mug on the counter, he walked over to the fridge like it was his house—and I treasured how comfortable he seemed in my space—and I remembered a second before he opened the door that I needed milk and other food in there.
I snapped my fingers just in time, filling the fridge with essentials as the door was half-open. I held my breath as I waited to see if he'd noticed, but he merely picked up the carton of milk before heading back.
While he doctored his coffee and added milk to our cereal, I gave Hella her special dog food, an illusion I'd created for Codie's sake since Hella was, like me, dead, and couldn't eat actual dog food.
My summoning bond with Artemus allowed me to eat human food, and while Hella was able to appear in the human world by latching onto a demon's summoning bond, she didn't get enough powers off it to be able to eat. She didn't seem to mind much.
Codie and I settled on my small two-person dining table and ate our breakfast in companionable silence.
I hoped his presence meant that he'd accepted my long-winded explanation regarding how I felt for him.
I really would be perfectly content being his friend and helping him on this journey of his.
Just watching him take each step toward his freedom filled my heart with joy, and I wanted to do everything I could to support him.
"You've been making some great progress," I said once I was done with my food and he was spooning up the last of it, and he glanced up at me, something like hope glowing in his eyes.
"You think so?"
I nodded, sitting forward in my excitement. I tried to keep my movements contained because I didn't want to startle him, but I also wasn't going to treat him like something fragile, because he wasn't. He was the strongest human I'd ever come across, and I was going to make sure he saw that.
"Yes! It's been, what, ten days since the first class? And in that time, you've learned the basics of self-defense, stepped out of your house, and even made your way here. That's amazing progress, Codie."
Codie pursed his lips, like he didn't quite agree but didn't want to say it. I wanted to reach out and take his hand in mine, to give it a reassuring squeeze. But since I didn't think it would comfort him at all, I resisted the urge.
"I've also had a bunch of panic attacks," he mumbled, like he couldn't just take the win, and I wished he could see the way I saw him.
Codie
"Didn't you have them before as well?" Pythor questioned softly, and I couldn't deny it.
The panic attacks had been a part of my life ever since that night, and I didn't think they were going away anytime soon. I hadn't had a recurrence of the nightmares that had haunted me the first few months, so at least there was that.
"I suppose. I still feel like I should be doing more, pushing myself to try harder," I murmured, and Pythor's fingers twitched where his hand lay on the table between us.
Did he want to reach out? Touch me? What would that feel like?
Would it be scary, or would his hand feel warm and comforting like he did?
In the months since that night, the only person whose touch never sent me into a panic was Alia. She was the sweetest kid, and even my subconscious knew she wouldn't hurt me.
Pythor, though, he could. I knew he wouldn't. I trusted him, for some strange reason, but that didn't change the fact that he was so much stronger than me, so much bigger. He could hurt me if I let him in anymore, which was why I couldn't. I had to keep this physical space between us.
"You don't have to push yourself, Codie.
This isn't a race. Take your time enjoying each new milestone, because it'll give you the strength you need to take another step," he murmured, and damn, he made so much sense.
Why did he make so much sense? "Now, would you like to stay awhile, or do you want to head home? "
I thought about it for a moment, but I didn't feel uncomfortable, and I was in no rush to go back home. While it was my safe haven, it felt nice to be out of that place for the first time in months. As long as I didn't have to be alone here, I thought I'd be okay.
"I'd like to stay, if that's okay," I murmured, and Pythor smiled widely.
"Of course! Would you like to watch a movie?"
So that was what we did. We sat on Pythor's couch with Hella's large body sprawled across our laps, and watched a movie.
It was an action flick where the main character's brother gets kidnapped by the bad guys and he tears the world apart looking for him, with dramatic explosions, gory fights, and all the usual staples.
I couldn't remember the last time I'd just chilled like this. While Nessa and I met every weekend, her trips mostly involved restocking my kitchen and giving me updates about my latest work commissions and gallery sales.
While some of my paintings still made their way into various gallery displays—apparently, my 'mysterious hermit' personality was a draw for some people—my main source of income were commissions.
I rarely did portraits, though. I'd never quite mastered them, and I didn't enjoy making them.
Most of my commissions were about vibes more than concrete topics, and while I never cared much about where the commissions came from, the themes made me think my paintings could end up anywhere from casinos to old-money mansions.
The commissions were like a financial security blanket for me, and the eclectic requests also kept me interested in my art enough to keep going, especially on the days where I didn't feel like leaving my bed at all.
"What did you think?" Pythor asked, breaking into my thoughts and making me realize the credits had started rolling at some point as I got lost in my thoughts.
I smiled at him, stroking Hella's soft fur as she made sleepy sounds of happiness. "It was fun, if a little bloody."
Pythor chuckled. "That's a good description."
"Do you have a family?" I asked, then blinked in surprise. Where had that even come from? And talk about being intrusive. "Sorry, that's personal. You don't have to answer."
"It's okay. I don't in the proper sense. I lost my parents a long time ago. I do have some... siblings, of a sort. We're very close, and we lived together for a time until recently."
"Oh, that's nice. I'm an only child. I always thought it would be fun to have siblings."
"Your parents?"
I sighed, thinking about Mom and Dad. A part of me was glad they weren't here, that they hadn't had to see me like this, even though I would give anything to get a hug from my dad, or a kiss on my cheek from Mom.
"They had me late in life, and they passed when I was twenty-two."
"Oh, Codie. I'm so sorry."
I shrugged, stroking Hella some more because I didn't want to get lost in another bout of what-ifs.
Clearly sensing my need for a change of topic, Pythor said, "Hella really seems to like you."
I smiled, turning my gaze to the big, fluffy dog who'd woken up just enough to peer at us when Pythor said her name. "I like her too. She's a sweetheart, and she makes me feel safe."
"I thought you two might be a good fit, and I'm happy to see I was right."
"Thank you for bringing her to me." And for so much more.
"You're welcome," Pythor said, his dark eyes twinkling as he gave me a warm smile.
He'd said he wasn't interested in me that way, but if things were different, if I had met him a year ago, I knew I could've fallen for him very easily.
I still might if I wasn't so damned afraid of... of everything.
Pythor had quickly become one of the very few people I wasn't afraid of, and I couldn't risk that sense of safety by letting myself feel things I had no business feeling when I didn't think I could act on them.
Just the thought of being touched by someone like that was enough to make me shudder, and the fear helped me push away all thoughts of romance.
It wasn't in the cards for us, but I'd gladly be Pythor's friend for as long as he'd have me.