20
JAKE
I think there's something deeply wrong, at least my gut says so even though Kiera assured me otherwise.
I pace outside the bathroom, waiting for her to come out. She's been in there for a while, and she even locked it after her so I can't go in. I don't get why she's so embarrassed. What happened to her is quite natural.
As if my thoughts summon her, the door opens and Kiera steps out.
She's a mess, and she looks like she has just been in a shipwreck. She is pale as a ghost and her hair is messy. She doesn't even look up at me when she comes out, clutching something in her hand.
"Kiera?" I say.
She doesn't answer at first, and just keeps staring down at the ground.
"Kiera, you're really scaring me right now, honey" I say, taking a step toward her.
She visibly flinches, and when she finally looks up, she has tears in her eyes.
"Hey, what's wrong?" I ask, cradling her face in my palms. "You can tell me."
Instead of answering me, she holds up her palm to me and slowly unfurls it. There's a tiny stick in there.
It takes me a couple of seconds to register what it is.
I take a step back, almost instinctively.
"I'm sorry," she says.
I open my mouth, but no words come out. I think of all the times we have been together—and there were countless times—and I never bothered with a condom because Kiera assured me that she was protected.
My head spins, and I slowly lower myself onto the bed.
“Say something,” Kiera says, her voice pleading.
When I look at her, she has this anguished look on her face.
I shake myself out of it. She needs me, and I can’t withdraw into myself.
"H-how, how did this happen?" I say. "I thought you had an IUD and that's why we could..."
I know that’s the wrong thing to say as soon as I say it and catch the expression on her face.
"My doctor said that it would always work," Kiera says, sounding miserable.
Suddenly, I'm in eighth grade PE where the teacher is droning on about how no contraceptive is one hundred percent effective. But I always wagered that was something that happened to other people, not me.
"Are you sure? I mean, it can just be a fluke."
"I got four tests," Kiera says, still looking the other way as if she can't bear to look at me. I know I'm handling it quite poorly, but I haven't got the faintest of how exactly I'm supposed to be behaving right now. This is nothing short of absolute insanity.
"And all of them are positive?"
"I wouldn't be telling you this if I wasn't sure myself," she says.
"I'm sorry, I just don't know how to react."
"Me either," she says softly.
I'm being an ass to her right now. If I'm taking this hard, this must be apocalyptically bad for her.
I walk up to her, and this time, pull her in for a hug.
She doesn't shy away and melts into my arms.
"I'm sorry. How are you feeling?"
"Not great," she says, through sniffs. "I just can't wrap my head around it yet. How could this happen?"
I peel back to look at her. "I mean, these things just kind of happen, right?"
"Right," she says. "And I definitely need to find a gyne now."
"Kiera," I say, taking her hand in mine. "You don't have to be scared. I know that's easier said than done, but you have me. I'll always be here for you."
She shakes her head. "I can't put that kind of burden on you."
"Burden?" My brows crease together. "What are you talking about?"
She tries to get out of my grip, twisting this way and that. I give her some space, but only because of the naked panic on her face. She's still freaking out.
"We've only been going out for two months," she says. "This is not what you signed up for."
"Are you kidding me?" I say it too loudly, and she almost jumps. "Kiera, we've known each other since we were twelve. We were best friends. You saw me have questionable taste in facial hair, and you talked me out of anything disastrous, which I'm very thankful for."
Her lips twitch. I'm glad I can at least amuse her a little.
"That French goatee was really something."
"In my defense, I barely had facial hair. I went through puberty at like twenty-two. But you were always there for me, at every step of the way."
I stop to catch my breath, because honestly, I'm still very overwhelmed. “We never became strangers, Kiera. We didn’t have that kind of transactional friendship.”
Tears start to gather at the corner of her eyes before slowly trickling down.
I hug her, pulling her into my chest tightly.
"This isn't a burden, Kiera. This is the best thing that could have happened to me."
She pulls back so that she can look into my eyes. "Do you really mean that?"
"Yes," I say. "Sure, neither of us had a baby in mind in our near future, but it was bound later sometime or the other. So, why not?”
"Really?"
"Yes," I say. "The baby is a blessing."
I press my hand to her belly while my forehead rests on hers. "I can't tell you how happy I am that you're carrying my child."
Kiera's breath hitches. Her eyes flutter closed as I lean in to brush my lips on hers. "You've made me the happiest man on Earth, Kie." I whisper against her lips while my fingers caress her chin before stroking up her hair. "And you have the opportunity to do something that will make me happier."
"Happi er ?" she asks, looking skeptical. “Because I mean, I know it’s all happening way too soon.”
I kneel down in front of her.
"No, no, this is perfect," I say. "Move in with me."
She stiffens a little in my arms. Her eyes widen, her gaze searching mine. "Do you really mean that?"
"Yes," I say, squeezing her arms. "You're here most of the time anyway, and now with a baby on the way—this just makes more sense. And I can easily spoil both you and the baby."
"The baby is probably the size of a pea right now," Kiera says, laughing a little. "Or at least I think she is. I'm not sure how far along I am."
"She?" I say.
She looks faintly embarrassed. "I mean, that's what I think of her as, you know?"
"Yes," I say. "Well, I'll be happy either way."
Kiera nods.
I take her hand in mine. I need to keep touching her. "So, will you move in with me?"
She looks a little apprehensive, biting her cheek. "You don't think that's crazy, right? We're moving way too fast here. Things fall apart—"
"Don't finish that sentence," I say, shaking my head. "You're the best thing that happened to me, Kiera, and I let you go. I messed up once, but I'm not making the same mistake again. Let me be here for you."
She remains silent.
Am I making things worse? Am I losing her?
"We'll do whatever you want us to do," I say. "If you feel bad about moving in here with me, you don't have to. I'll take some of my things and come live with you. Of course, if you don't want me to be living there full time, I can travel—"
"Stop talking, Jake," she says, shaking me a little. "I want to come live with you."
"What?"
"Yeah. I mean, it makes more sense logistically," she says. "The office is closer, it would shorten my commute time, and I'll get to see you all the time. I'm sure the baby will appreciate that too."
I can't hold it in anymore. I put my arms around her waist and spin her around.
Kiera laughs, hanging on to my neck for dear life.
"Jake," she says, "You should put me down now or I might end up getting sick over you."
"I don't care, nothing can bring me down right now," I say but I bring her down to the ground, kissing her on either cheek. "You can't imagine how happy I am."
"I can see that," she says, laughing through her tears.
"But I have to ask you again, you're sure about this, right?" she says. "I don't put this on you if you don't want it. The child is a big responsibility, and you're so busy with work."
"I'll cut down on my hours."
"Don't do that," she says.
"Why not?" I say.
"Because I'm not going to cut down on mine, and don't you dare tell me that I'll have to step down from my responsibilities."
"Why would I say that?"
"I don't know—employers are hard on their pregnant employees," she says.
"Well, I’m not. We have three months of paid maternity leave and an option to do a sabbatical for two years. You'll join whenever you want to, and your pay will be in par with what the peers are being paid."
"Wow, I have no idea why people warn you not to date your boss," Kiera says, rolling her eyes. "Hopefully, I don't have to worry about that for seven more months."
"We're not taking any chances, though," I say. "We need to start looking for a doctor, a nutritionist, and whatever else you'll need. I'll hire someone to look into that."
"You want to pay money to someone to tell you how to care for your unborn child? Such a typical millionaire thing to do," she says. "I'll take care of it. And I'll keep working on the museum project."
I open my mouth to say something, but she cuts me off.
"No matter how long it takes," she finishes. "That's the only way I'll agree to come live with you."
"Hey, that's not fair."
"I just wanted to make things clear before we did this."
"We're doing this, Kiera," I say. "And if you want to work from home—"
"I don't want any special treatment, I'm fine. Although I would like to go pee again."
"You can go," I say. "I'll go by your place later to get your things, and I'll look up Yelp reviews myself—" I say, stretching on the last word. "—and find you the best doctor in the vicinity."
She shakes her head, but she is smiling. And that fills my heart to the brim. This is the woman I want by my side forever.
“Kiera,” I cannot hold it in anymore. “I love you. I’ve always loved you, I never stopped even when we were apart.”
She inhales sharply. “Jake—”
“I know it’s all a little too much. You don’t have to say anything.”
She starts to shake her head before she finally says,
“I’m glad I get to do this with you.”