21
KIERA
The next few weeks are a blur. Thankfully, the anxiety that I felt when I first found out I was pregnant is gone. It occasionally rears its ugly head when I think about the future. The timeline of the museum project is stretching far more than I expected. The museum is yet to approve the blueprints we sent over, and by the time everything is settled, I'll definitely be showing.
I haven't told anybody yet. I know both Ellie and Tammy are going to be really mad at me when I do tell them, more so when they find out who the father is.
They kept asking me about my trip to Paris with Jake, but I shut them down with some fake, vague details. They probably still think I hate Jake.
"Did you hear?" Bea sits at the edge of my table. "Someone in the office is pregnant."
I almost spit out the orange juice that I've been drinking from my I love coffee mug. Everybody in the office knows how much I love my caffeine. To avoid suspicion, I've resorted to this.
The HR department knows about us, but nobody else does. Jake gave me the option to announce, but I'm scared. I don't want them to think I slept with the boss to get the project.
"Are you okay?" Bea asks, as I clean myself up. Thankfully, she doesn't notice that I've been drinking juice.
"Yes, yes, I'm fine," I say. "Who's pregnant?"
Bea shrugs. “I don’t know. One of the HR interns was saying something, but she was let go, so that just fuels more suspicion. I’m fairly sure that it isn’t just a rumor, and I bet it’s going to be someone we least suspect.”
“Maybe we shouldn’t speculate,” I say.
“Do you think it might be Raine?” Bea asks. “She was acting very cagey the other day. But she is the kind of person who would make it her entire personality and scream about it from the rooftops.”
“Probably not her,” I say. “Maybe someone older? Maybe they’re feeling embarrassed about it.”
I feel bad putting the target on somebody else’s back, but if it takes it off mine…Well!
Bea’s eyes widen. “That makes sense.”
"Well, it's only a matter of few months anyway," I say. "Let's just wait for whoever it is to announce it." It's only when I say it out loud that I realize how close I am to being discovered. Because I can't lie about it for much longer.
I can only imagine what people are going to say about me when they find out.
Just then, Jake walks past my desk. He greets me with a, "Hey," nodding as if he wasn't pounding into me just a few hours ago.
I plain ignore him while Bea goes, "Did you need anything, Jake?"
Jake frowns.
I don't want him to know about this rumor.
"No, no. I was just, um, I need you to book me a ticket to Spain for tomorrow."
My heart jolts. He's leaving tomorrow?
"Something came up," Jake continues, looking straight at me. "One of my oldest clients wants to do some acquiring from a reclusive family, and he wants my opinion."
I stay silent.
After Jake leaves, Bea hops off the desk. "Well, I better get those tickets booked."
"Yep," I say. A few moments later, my phone beeps with a text. It's Jake.
I didn't want you to find out this way. I just found out myself.
I won't lie, I'm annoyed, and also a bit hurt, but I understand that the art world doesn’t run on a schedule.
Me: It’s fine, Jake, you don't have to explain.
Jake: No, no. We're going out to dinner tonight.
And a few seconds later, my phone beeps again.
Jake: Wear that tight black dress you wore to the winery. I love that one.
I smile to myself. Unluckily for him, I won't be able to fit into that for much longer. Or maybe he already knows that.
***
When Jake comes home, he finds me slumped beside the toilet seat.
He comes rushing in with a bottle of water. "I would have been here sooner if I knew."
"I wish I knew," I groan. "I mean, I knew about morning sickness. But I didn't know this could also happen."
"It's okay," Jake says. "The doctor says it will ease into your second trimester."
"That's not for another few weeks," I point out with a groan while he dabs my forehead with a towel. I can already see my future.
"I can't go out tonight, I'm sorry."
"It's okay, you don't have to be sorry." Jake leans in to kiss my cheek.
I sigh. “I just wanted tonight to be perfect since you’re going away.”
He bends down to my level, caressing my cheek as he does. “I’m only scheduled to be gone for four days. And I’ll try to be back before that. You won’t even notice I’m gone.”
“That’s not possible,” I say. “I’ll miss you every second of every day.”
“When I’m gone, though, I want you to stay with a friend. Can you do that?”
“I think I want to stay alone,” I say.
He frowns. “Are you sure? I don’t feel confident leaving you here all by yourself, especially with how sick you get in the morning. And evening too, apparently.”
“I’m used to it. I did most of the retching and throwing up before you got here. Maybe I can set up a bed here. It would be a nice change of scenery.”
Jake laughs at that.
“But seriously, I’ll be fine,” I say. “I have lived alone for more than half of my life. I think I’ll be fine for a couple of days.”
***
I miss Jake.
It's the weekend, and I've nothing better to do. Ellie and Tammy are coming to town next week.
They still don't know what's up between Jake and me. I mentally prepare myself for the truth I've to inevitably tell them.
Since it's the weekend, I busy myself doing the laundry. And once that's done, I take out the trash.
I haven't thrown up the entire day today so that feels like a huge relief. I’ve texted Jake a couple of times. So far, he hasn’t responded or called back, so I assume he’s stuck in a meeting.
I’m worried, though, since it’s been almost a day since I’ve heard from him.
To distract myself, I decide to go to the market. Since I’m out anyway, I buy a couple of dresses a few sizes bigger. I know I’m going to start showing soon, and I want to be comfortable.
As I am heading home, I freeze in the driveway.
What is
Chris doing here?
He looks up, and strangely, he doesn't seem surprised to see me.
"What are you doing here?" I ask as I open the door. I don’t want to invite him in, but I’m tired and I need to get inside and get out of the sun.
He follows me in. "I could ask you the same question. After all, it's Saturday, and you're prancing into your boss’s house. I think I'm allowed to ask some questions."
"No, you aren’t. You lost that right five years ago.”
Chris folds his arms in front of his chest. "Is this what overtime looks nowadays?"
"I don’t owe you shit."
He shakes his head. "You think I'm so terrible, huh? You've made this entire thing about me in your head."
"I didn't have to imagine anything, Chris," I say. "I walked in on you with not one but two girls. You didn't even notice I was there."
"That's because I didn't know you were coming."
"How would that make a difference?"
"I would have cleaned up my act."
"It would have just delayed the outcome. Because you would just end up cheating on me another time, but I would always end up finding out sooner or later."
"I always suspected it, but I think I know now. It was Jake, wasn't it?" Chris says. "He told you."
"He didn't."
Chris scoffs. "You think I'm going to believe that now that you're sleeping with him?"
"You're crossing a line."
"Am I, Kiera?" Chris taunts me. "I'm not sleeping with my ex's best friend who also happens to be my boss."
"Whatever, asshole." I know he's trying to get to me. This is Chris. Makes everything about himself and never takes responsibility for anything.
Problem is my stupid hormones get to me, and tears start gathering up in my eyes.
When the first rolls down my face, Chris steps forward. "Don't cry, Kiera. I didn't mean to upset you."
"Just leave me alone," I say, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand.
"I always regretted how we ended," Chris says. "Now I know who was really responsible."
"It was you," I say. "You were selfish. You never loved me, or even cared about my feelings."
"You're wrong. I did love you. I loved you for a long time," Chris says. With each word, he takes a step forward. "I never stopped caring for you. That's why I'm here to warn you."
"What?"
"I knew Jake was hiding something from me. He was acting so fishy," Chris says. “But he isn’t as suave as he thinks he is. I saw you guys together the other day as you were walking down the street to the car. I was coming to see him and there you were, leaving the house with him.”
"You've got it all wrong."
"Have I? You know, I thought so too at first, that’s why I came back every day for a week. And guess what I saw? Every day, you left the house with him.” He shakes his head. “I don't know how he got you to sleep with him, what lies he told you—"
"Chris, you need to leave me alone."
"I was coming here today to let him know that he can't do this to you."
"Do what?"
"Cheat on you. Jake has been cheating on you. I mean, I don't know if I can call it cheating, considering that I don't understand the nature of your relationship and that he has been with her for longer."
"Her?"
"He never mentioned her name, now did he?" Chris says. "She's a client of his.”
“I know he’s with a client
. Jake would never do that.”
“Why? Because he’s not me?” Chris says. “And yet, here I am, trying to tell you the truth while your boyfriend has left you all alone.”
I clutch my stomach as I feel bile rise up my throat.
“And if you don’t believe me, I’m going to prove that right now.”
I don't say anything as I watch Chris take his phone out, his gaze on me. He dials Jake's number and puts it on speaker phone, holding up the screen to make sure I see the name.
The call finally goes through, but instead of Jake's voice, it's a sleepy female. "Hello?" the heavily accented voice says.
Chris asks, "Is Jake there?"
"No, he's stepped out," she replies, her voice clearing. "Why do you need him?"
My stomach sinks. Who is this? Why are they answering Jake’s phone?
"I'll call back later," Chris says before he cuts the call. He turns to me and goes, "Now do you believe me?"
I can't hold it in me anymore. My hands shut over my mouth as I run into the bathroom and throw up again and again until I'm empty.
When I can't go anymore, I lie with my head on the bathroom tile until I've recovered enough to come out.
I can't believe this. Jake lied to me?
I know this is Chris and he loves drama, but I saw he was calling Jake.
Oh, my God, Jake is cheating on me.
The last person I thought would break my heart shatters it to a thousand pieces.
What on Earth possessed me to think that this man won't hurt me? He's the one that broke me in the first place, and it took me months to recover.
I know now that I was never in love with Chris, but it was the fact that I was betrayed that cut the deepest. And Jake was responsible for that.
How could I have forgiven him so easy? How could I have allowed him to walk over all my heart again?
It's clear that he doesn't care about my feelings. Jake forgot about me the moment he got on that plane. He hasn't even called me since he left, and like a fool, I was here waiting for his call.
My head spins just at the thought of it.
When I come out, Chris is waiting for me in the living room, wincing.
"You okay there?"
"You don't have to worry about me," I say. "You've done enough."
"I'm the only person who looked out for you," Chris says. "What happened back then was a mess. I was stupid, and I let the people around—especially Jake—exacerbate my idiotic behavior. He didn't want me around you. He thought you were too good for me. I realize that now."
He takes a step toward me. "I realize how messed up things are right now, but I really do want to make amends."
He reaches for me, but I flinch out of his grasp. "Don't you dare come near me. Get out."
"Kiera—"
"Get out," I scream. "Get out right now."
"Jeez, you don't have to act like a crazy bitch. I was just trying to help you."
I don't look up until the door slams shut behind him. Once he's gone, I collapse to the floor, my body giving out.
It’s all over. The relationship I thought we had—the love I thought we had…
Just the thought of it makes me shudder and heave. I can’t deny it to myself anymore. I love Jake, and maybe a part of me has always loved him. But he has shown me that I don’t take up even a fraction of his heart. He can’t care any less.
After what feels like hours, I find the strength to stand up. I won’t mope around. Jake has made his own bed, and I must do what is right for me and my baby.
I head into the room and start to pack my clothes. I won’t be here when he comes back.
As my final goodbye, I find a piece of paper and a pen.