5. Grace
Five
Grace
I could only do half-day remote work. It is a day of mostly meetings and I didn’t want to make my coworkers grab the tech to make it possible for me to attend virtually. Today, besides reviewing some of the ad campaigns we are presenting to a loyal client we are seeing for the first time the packaging for a new product. During the couple of days I work remotely while I was still in Clear Springs for the holidays, I learn I cannot work if my mom is around. Coming up with trendy and memorable ad copy is hard with the constant interruptions. I make sure that all of my important work is done before I leave around two in the afternoon to keep Mom company.
When I make it back to my apartment, Mom is cooking in my kitchen.
“Welcome back. Now sit on that stool and start explaining.” My mom points at one of my kitchen island stool before turning to keep stirring the asopao she is cooking on my stove.
“What do you want to know?”
“How long, exactly you two been dating?”
I hum at loud as if I’m trying to recall the date. I’m really thinking about what we told Maggie. “Almost 13 months to the dot,” I say, remembering that it was also mid to late January when I brought up the possibility of being friends with benefits after we had sex, when we were both a little too drunk to stop.
“And you never thought to mention it to me during an entire year? Not even during the holidays?”
“I already told you why. While some people think a year is enough to know, I feel we are still in the honeymoon phase. Everything feels great, but who knows when the other shoe is going to drop.”
“Honey, a year is time enough to clue your family and friends that you are in, what I hope is a committed relationship. Telling people doesn’t mean that is final or that your are marrying him.”
“Really, mom? Are you sure you have not already fantasized about my wedding with Seth?”
“Gracie, you are my only child who is still unmarried. Of course, I’m gonna constantly daydream about your wedding. That will only stop when you actually get married. I understand if you are not sure he is the one. You also have to understand your dad and I aren’t getting younger.”
I sigh. That might be one of the many problems I’m having. I can see myself marrying Seth, but I know our arrangement is not strings, and no feelings attached. Here I am lying to my mom and making him pretend to be my boyfriend of over a year. She saw I have his contact number under the name of boyfriend. I can’t imagine how awkward it would be to explain the real detail of my relationship with Seth. Introducing him as my boyfriend sounds like a much better idea compare to ‘oh hey he is just a friend I have sex often.’
While I have a few male friends, I could ask to pretend with me; I don’t feel comfortable with them touching and kissing me the same way I’m with Seth. I also can accept that a tiny part of me is taking this chance to live in a fantasy for a little bit of time where Seth is my boyfriend and I’m free to express the feelings I keep bottling down. I know it’s very selfish of me, but it is just a tiny lie we are telling whenever Maggie or Mom are here.
“Not pressure at all, but maybe a little?” I chuckle.
“No pressure, but don’t be single for too long. You’ll eventually feel you don’t want company and might miss on great love. You know I don’t believe a woman needs a man to live, but when you find the right person, life gets better.”
“I know. I just don’t want to rush into things.”
Mom nods as she slides a bowl steaming with mouthwatering asopao . The stew tastes hearty; the chicken is so tender it falls apart easily. The rice is so soft it feels extremely soothing to my stomach, whose been suffering all the effects of my work stress. “After we eat, let’s go shopping. You have a fancy dinner and you need something to wear.”
“I have plenty of clothes to wear, mom.”
“Honey, I looked at your wardrobe and nothing yells ‘I’m THE valentine of the CEO of this company’. Hurry and eat so we can get you a dress and maybe some shoes.”
I shake my head and cut into the chicken. I moan out loud at how juicy it is.
I’m getting out of the seventh dress when my phone rings. I shake my head at the contact name. It’s like my subconscious doesn’t want me to change it from boyfriend to Seth.
“Hello,” I answer.
“Hey, where are you? I didn’t see your car when I parked.”
“I’m at the mall with Mom. She insists on coming to shop for a dress and shoes for your company’s dinner.”
“Do you want me to accompany you both? I can carry the shopping bags.” I smile.
“Who are you talking with and why are taking so long?” My mom’s voice reaches me.
“Seth is calling asking where we are,” I say.
“Tell him to join us for dinner and present himself properly.”
“Did you catch that?”
“Yes, I did. I’m gonna make a reservation and send you the details through text. I’ll see you soon,” Seth says before hanging up.
Ten minutes later, my phone ding with a text message from Seth as I buy a beautiful burgundy knee length velvet dress. Mom and I search for dainty looking heels with the thirty minutes we have left before the dinner reservation.
The first few minutes were a little awkward. Mom didn’t stop looking at me weirdly when I sit beside Seth. I realize what I did after she tries to hide her smile with the menu. I’m used to sit beside Seth every time we go out to eat with our mutual friends. This has always been our seating arrangement, way before I started falling for him and way before we started having sex.
“So Seth, right?” My mom starts and continues after Seth nods. “How long you’ve been dating my daughter?”
I know he can feel my stare, but he doesn’t turn to look at me. He smiles and leans forward. “It’ll be a year and one-month next week.”
“So you are the one who remembers dates better than Gracie here.”
He smiles and I have to stop myself from swooning. Over time, I’ve labeled all of his smiles, or at least all the smiles I’ve been witnessing. This smile is one of my favorites. It’s a soft smile, as if he is secretly proud of knowing exactly when our anniversary is. Even though the dates we are talking about are our friends with benefits status and nothing to do with this so call romantic relationship.
My heart and brain wish it is really our anniversary, and I can stop from feeling a little fearful of it. When I combine the time we spend with my sister and now with mom; it has not been a full week of pretending. I fear I’m already hooked on the idea of this being real.
I couldn’t stop Mom from asking a million and one questions. She ask things like when he realized for the first time that he was in love with me and if he has thought about our future. I want to disappear, but I’m also trying to stop my heart from jumping out of my chest at his answers.
“I think it was halfway through her second year living in the same building. I really value her friendship. We agree on a lot of things, but she is one of the few friends I feel expands my world view with every conversation. The day I feel myself expecting to see her on the elevator or the coffee shop at the courtyard in between my office and hers is when I knew my heart moved from seeing her just as a friend into I wanna be her boyfriend.”
He left his answer about our future vague. “I could tell you all sorts of things, but at the end of the day is what Grace and I agree. I prefer to talk and consult with her instead of letting my mind run crazy with scenarios that are not decided only by me.” I grab his hand and squeeze it.
I don’t care if that is a satisfactory answer to my mom. I love it.
After a few more questions about what his company does and if he has savings, the conversation switch to enjoyable and light topics like movies and music. My mom is surprised at all the songs Seth likes that she also enjoys. After we are done, he paid for the dinner, walks us to my car and follow behind us until we reached our apartment complex.
“You guys are not gonna kiss each other good night?” Mom asks as we wait for the elevator.
“Mom, can you stop?”
“Seeing you this shy makes me want to keep going.”
“Mom,” I whine.
Seth leans in and kisses my temple and then the back of the hand he is holding. The elevator door opens and we walk in, hitting the buttons on our floor. When we reach my floor, he pulls me back into him, cradling my face with his hand and wrapping his lips with mine. The kiss is soft, sweet, and it makes me feel lightheaded as my heart sings.
“Goodnight. See you in my dreams,” he whispers, letting me go before the door of the elevator beeps at how long it has been held open.
I open my apartment door with a goody smile as my mom chuckles.
“You are leaving already?” I see my mom packing her overnight bag as soon as I wake up.
“You know I can’t leave the business or your dad alone for too long. Besides, I think I can leave in peace.”
I sit up. “What do you mean?”
“I never had a problem with you living in another town or city. I was worried you were lonely, and you weren’t telling us. I’m happy that you have Seth. That man is head over heels for you. Watching him watching you makes me understand what the Internet says about heart eyes. I can go back home in peace knowing my daughter is being loved.”
I tilt my head and think about what my mom says. Introducing Seth as my boyfriend is a rushed decision. A lie to hide the real reason he has a key to my apartment. While my family never frowns upon sexual relationships before marriage, my parents are really prude and will prefer to think we all reach marriage as virgins even when deep down they know is not true.
There was no chance for us to get our story straight and how to convince my mom he was my boyfriend. Which means Seth is a fabulous actor and Hollywood is missing out or what Soraya said is true. Maybe I’m too afraid to see it.