3. Ally
Chapter 3
Ally
Nine days later, Monday, May 23
I have a friend. A really handsome friend
The school day finishes and I leave the building, keeping my head down as I walk through a crowd of girls, minding my own business while tapping the notes of Clair de lune against my thighs.
“Ally.”
My feet come to a dead stop, my heart thumping at the deep, smooth voice speaking my name. I look up from the ground, my eyes catching on him in disbelief.
Dan Blackwood is standing at my school gates, grinning at me.
His back is slumped against the stone gatepost and his hands are in the pockets of his uniform. He’s wearing black Ray Ban sunglasses, such a rich-boy look, and when he removes them, revealing his dark eyes upon me, my stomach does a little flip. My temperature rises. I hope he can’t see the heat in my cheeks, but I’m doubtful. Dan is very handsome and my body does a terrible job at hiding that I think so.
All the Blackwood boys are gorgeous. I looked them up when Mom first told me she was dating Josh. There’s Killian, who’s a year older than Dan. Then the two eldest who no longer live at home—Tyler at twenty, and Felix is twenty-one. They all look like the kind of guy my father wouldn’t let me anywhere near, if I had a father. The brothers are dangerously beautiful, like they could break a girl’s heart with one kiss.
Maybe that’s why after two months of Josh dating my mother and spending countless hours with the two of us, he’s only just come around to the idea of introducing me to Dan. I don’t know what it’s like to have a father, but Josh plays the role well whenever he visits, and I’m growing attached to having him around.
Dan might be the most dangerous of all his brothers. The way he’s grinning at me right now in the school grounds does something to my body I’ve never experienced before. It makes my stomach tight, but in a good way, like I never want him to stop looking at me. He has this boyish charm to him, the way his dark hair is ruffled and how he wears his uniform undone at the collar, with the tie loose and the white sleeves rolled up to his elbows.
I step up to him at the gate, smiling a little, trying to hide how pleased I am to see him. “What are you doing here?”
“Missed you. Thought we could study together this afternoon.”
It’s been just over a week since we first met, and we’ve already seen each other five times. He visits my apartment with his father, for piano lessons, dinner, movies, anything, really. I asked Dan what kind of things he’s into, and the answer was poker, courtesy of his oldest brother Felix teaching him the game a year ago, against Josh’s wishes, I’m sure.
Dan insists he’ll teach me how to play. When I told him I’m too young, he laughed at me. Not in the rude way I experience from the girls at school, but as if he thought my answer was adorable.
He has this way of talking to me, always holding eye contact, and sounding amused, like he’s flirting with me. That’s how he spoke to me when I turned down the poker offer. There’s no difference right now as he tells me he missed me. I assume he’s just a flirt and talks to every girl like this, so I try not to flatter myself.
“Hey, Ally.” Two girls in my class approach me, Nicole and Rachel, who I once thought were my friends. They haven’t spoken to me in months. All I receive from them these days is cruel laughter and whispers. “Can you introduce us to your friend?” Nicole asks.
Of course they’re playing nice now that I’m seen with a Blackwood. The Blackwood name is prestigious in this city, considering the wealth and reputation Josh has earned through his hotel business. He’s also a philanthropist. A very admirable man, though Dan has dropped hints that lead me to believe he feels differently about his father. The media follows Josh around like he’s a celebrity. They follow his sons too, though all the boys seem to do is cause scandal with their constant partying.
I quietly introduce Nicole and Rachel to Dan, knowing their behavior toward me at school will only worsen if I go against their wishes.
They offer Dan big smiles and lots of girlish laughter. “We heard you talking about studying this afternoon,” Nicole says. “Can we join?”
“I should be getting home,” I mutter to the three of them. Let them have Dan. Whatever. If it makes my life easier at school, I’ll take it. They’re probably the kind of girls he’s into anyway. Big breasts. Popular. Sexual. I’ve overheard them talk about all the guys they get with. They wear tons of makeup to school and fold their uniform waistbands to make their skirts shorter, leaving little to be imagined.
I step by them, but Dan’s finger hooks around mine, his touch hot and unexpected and spreads sparks all over my body. “Afraid not, ladies,” he says in a matter-of-fact way. No teasing. No flirting. “I want to get this one alone.”
The girls stare at me in shock. Almost as shocked as I am to hear Dan speak those words. He drapes an arm around my shoulders and leads us out to the street.
“You want to get me alone?” I ask, trying to shrug out from beneath his arm as we walk on the city sidewalk, but he chuckles and keeps me in place.
“I had to say some shit to get rid of those girls. But it’s the truth. You’re so much more fun when it’s the two of us and say the weirdest shit I could listen to for hours.”
“Like what?” I ask in disbelief that he could possibly think I’m fun. All I ever do is play the piano and talk about music. I have no social skills. People think I’m weird. Maybe I am weird. I’ve come to accept that.
“Last night when we were having dinner at your place with our parents,” he starts, and I don’t even have to look at him to know he’s grinning. I can hear it in his voice. “I mean, you’re cute and all in front of them, talking about Renaissance music. But as soon as they’re out of earshot, you blush and tell me the trombone used to be called a sackbut, like it was some dirty word you couldn’t say in front of them.”
I laugh, covering my face with embarrassment. “You have to admit a sackbut does sound like a rude word.” And oh my goodness, how can he so casually slip into the conversation that I’m cute. The word came out of his mouth with such ease that I know he only meant it in a friendly way, not for me to be obsessing over it.
As we arrive at a cross intersection, Dan veers us right, instead of in the direction of my apartment. “My mom is expecting me at home,” I say.
“So? Text her and tell her you’re studying at the public library with me. She loves me.”
That’s true. I think more than anything, she’s thrilled I have a friend, if that’s what Dan and I are. He feels like a friend. A really handsome friend who I’ve visualized kissing on more than one occasion. But I won’t share that information with anyone, especially not him. I’m sure he’d laugh at how easily my body responds to the simple touch of his arm on my shoulders or how he hooked his finger with mine a few minutes ago. Those are the kinds of things that stir something deep within my belly, having such limited experience with guys.
Dan isn’t on the same playing field. He has sex written all over him. I know the kind of guy he is. I’m sure he sees me as just a friend and only takes an interest in me because of our parents.
“And will we be studying at the library, or is that a cover up?” I’ve never lied to my mother before. I don’t want to lie to her either. She’s my best friend and she’s protective of me after everything that happened with her ex-boyfriend.
“Yeah, we’ll be at the library.”
“Studying?”
He sighs, laughing, and squeezes my shoulders. “Oh, I can see why my dad is so fond of you. Such a role model child, for once. Yes, we’ll study.”
I open my mouth to respond, closing it again, my muscles stiffening when I see someone across the street take a photo of us. A man with a professional camera.
Dan must sense my discomfort. He follows my gaze, seeing the man. “This your first encounter with paparazzi? Ignore them. That’s what I always do.”
“Kind of hard to ignore when I haven’t grown up in the world of fame. I guess it’s something I’ll need to get used to now that our parents are dating, but I don’t think I’ll like the attention.”
Dan switches positions, stepping to the other side of me, shielding me from view with his body. “Better?”
“Maybe a little. Thank you.”
It’s not long before we arrive at the library, the quiet atmosphere and escape from the cameraman a relief. Dan leads me to an area at the back, where people are still scattered around, sitting at tables and searching through the stacks, but where we have a little more freedom to talk. We settle at a table and sit opposite each other, with me flipping through an art history textbook and Dan advanced mathematics. He must be good with numbers, which is the complete opposite to how my creative brain works.
“So…” Dan murmurs after a few minutes of our studies. “What was with you and those girls at the school gates?”
I don’t look up from my textbook, hoping to brush off the topic. “Oh, um, nothing.”
“Didn’t seem like nothing. You don’t like them?”
“More like they don’t like me. I don’t really… have any friends at school.” I can feel my face turning red at the embarrassing confession. “I don’t have friends outside of school either, other than my mom and uncle Daxton.”
“I don’t see why.”
“It’s a long story that I’ve spent years in therapy trying to deal with. I’ll spare you the details.”
Dan shrugs, focusing on his textbook. “We’re friends. I’ll listen.”
Finally, I look up from my page, liking that he thinks we’re friends. He peers up at me and grins, then abandons his textbook and slumps back in his chair with his legs spread wide. Sitting in that position, Dan looks like such a guy. It’s kind of hard to concentrate when he looks so good.
My gaze lowers to his dick and I swallow hard. I realize I’ve been caught staring when he laughs, the sound quiet but smug and making me flustered enough to forget the topic of conversation.
I avert my gaze. “Um… What were we talking about?”
“I asked why you don’t have friends.”
“Oh. Um… I’ve got daddy issues, I guess.” Jesus. Did I have to state it like that?
“You and me both.” He gives a humorless laugh. “Where is your dad?”
“He died when I was a baby.”
Dan frowns. “I’m sorry to hear that. My mom died giving birth to me. My dad has always resented me for it.”
My mouth opens and closes with shock, not knowing how to respond. “I don’t know what to say. That must be so… difficult for you.”
“Won’t lie, I’m pretty fucked up over it.”
A sorry for your loss doesn’t seem appropriate in this moment. I don’t know what does. Surely Josh doesn’t resent Dan, but it doesn’t feel right for me to comment on that topic either. With my heart pounding, I reach out and place my hand on Dan’s as an offer of comfort, relieved when he doesn’t pull away.
Dan looks down at our two hands then up at me, his throat working. His fingers curl around mine and give a little squeeze. “I don’t talk about her. Ever. Can I hear the rest of your story?”
Respecting his privacy, I continue. “Has Josh told you about my mom’s last boyfriend?”
“Me and my dad don’t really talk.”
I kind of figured things were tense between them. There have been a few snide comments made here and there, from both father and son, but for the most part, they seem pleasant together whenever I’m around.
“Well, my mom was a victim of domestic violence. The last man she dated… I was just a kid when they were together. We lived with him for a few years and he was terrible. He hit her many times. I’m confident he would have…” My voice trembles and my throat restricts. The words are too painful to speak out loud, that he would have killed her if she hadn’t found the strength to leave.
From the shock on Dan’s face, I get the impression he understands exactly what my silence is hinting at. It feels a little strange sharing these intimate details of my mother’s life, but the domestic violence was a part of my life too. Mom’s ex never laid his hands on me, but having a front row seat to him abusing my mother has left its scar on me in other ways.
I take a steadying breath. “My therapist says what I witnessed made me retreat into myself. It affected my confidence and social skills. I’ve dealt with ongoing panic attacks because of the abuse. And, well… I suppose it’s impacted my school life. The other girls think I’m too quiet and… strange, I guess. They’ve done some pretty terrible things to me.”
“Fuck them. Seriously.” Dan speaks the words too loud, and with a little too much frustration, earning us glares from nearby people. He squeezes my hand again, controlling his voice this time. “We’re friends now. I’ll meet you at your school gates every afternoon.”
I lick my lips, tingling from the way he looks directly into my eyes. “ Every afternoon? What about your friends?”
“I see them all day at school. They can live without me in the afternoons.”
I retrieve my hand from his and look down at my textbook, though there’s no way I can focus on anything but what Dan has suggested. “Don’t you have other commitments, like, a girlfriend and stuff?”
“I don’t have a girlfriend.”
“You have girls, though. I… hear things about you.”
Dan laughs, my gaze flicking up to him and seeing his lips tug into a grin. “Yeah, like what?” He folds his arms across his chest, deeply amused, and I blush all over again.
“You’re a Blackwood. Do I need to say more?”
“Yeah, I think you do.”
I throw my pen at him, laughing. He dodges the attack. “Are you just trying to make me say more dirty things, like sackbut?”
“Yeah, I am.” He grins. “You seem innocent. Too innocent.”
He’s got that right. The way Dan has sex written all over him, I’m sure I read as virgin .
“You ever been kissed?” he asks.
I frown with terrible memories coming back to me. “Yes. Once.”
“What, the guy didn’t treat you right or something?”
“Um… the bullying I told you about? At one point, turns out the girls had asked a guy to pretend to be into me. They all thought it would be funny if they dared him to kiss me and caught it on camera.”
His brows pinch together. “What the fuck, Ally.”
“Yeah.” My voice retreats. I grab a pen from my pencil case, twisting it between my fingers as an outlet for my nervous energy. “I don’t have a good experience with guys. Even men, after what I witnessed with Mom’s ex. That’s why I like Josh. He’s kind to us and he cares. He treats me like I imagine a dad would treat his daughter.” I bite my bottom lip, worrying that I’ve said the wrong thing. “Sorry if that’s hard for you to hear. I know things between you two aren’t good.”
“Don’t apologize. If you like him… That’s fine, Ally. It’s better than fine. You deserve to feel happy and safe after what you’ve been through.”
His approval makes me smile a little, although there’s something that’s been playing on my mind, especially after this heavy discussion. “You seriously like hanging out with me? There’s no ulterior motive? No prank?”
“No prank, Ally.”
My breath turns shallow from the warmth of his eyes upon me.
“I like you,” he says.
“But I’m not the kind of girl you normally hang around. I mean, what do you even want with me?”
“I don’t know. I like learning about all your husbands and hearing you talk about sackbuts.”
I smile, and this time, there’s no doubt holding me back. He has that amused look in his eyes again, teasing me, and I think I might be in serious trouble. I like the way he looks at me more than I’ve ever liked anything before.