17. Harper
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
HARPER
I don’t remember much from the last few days except that someone has been holding me the entire time.
My mind wants to believe it was Felix, but I know better than to run with those thoughts.
It must have been Tyler, taking care of me and never letting me out of his sight.
He’s here with me now as I wake up, stroking my hair behind my ear.
“Harp, can I get you anything? Food? Water?”
“I’m not hungry.” My throat burns as I speak the words. My head pounds with a headache from crying.
“How about a bath to freshen up? I filled the tub when you started stirring a few minutes ago.”
I nod, though I couldn’t care less about freshening up. Nothing is of importance anymore. Not eating. Drinking. I’ll never dance again. All I want is to disappear from this world.
Tyler helps me out of bed and walks me to my bathroom. A bubble bath is waiting for me. A clock on the wall tells me it’s midday, but I’ve lost track of how many days have passed since…
Since…
She’s gone. How is she really gone?
“I should… ah… give you some privacy.”
As Tyler turns to leave, I hold his hand. “Will you stay? I don’t want to be alone.”
“Of course.”
He looks away, giving me a moment to undress. I’m still wearing the same outfit from when I received the news.
My movements are slow and fatigued as I step out of my clothes and lower into the warm bubble bath. I rest my head against the rim. My eyelids can barely stay open, so painful from crying.
Within a few moments, Tyler peeks over his shoulder, finding me in the water. “Let me wash your hair.”
I don’t have the strength to nod. He takes a seat beside me and gets to work in silence, wetting my hair and gently rubbing shampoo through it. A flashback enters my mind, of the last time Tyler and I spoke. It was nasty. I was harsh on him. He left me, rightfully so. And now he’s here again.
Tears leak down my face. I was wrong—there is still something I care about.
Tyler Blackwood.
“You’re too good to me,” I mumble. “You were right about everything. I’m sorry for the way I acted. I read your letter and loved it. I love you. You’re the most important person in my life. I’d be nothing without you.”
Tyler lifts my left palm to his lips, kissing my scar. “Harp, the fight between us means nothing. Don’t spend another second worrying about it. I love you more than you know. But this conversation can wait. All I’m concerned about is taking care of you.”
I hold his hand tight, weaving our fingers, clinging to the sight of him despite how tired my eyes are. “She left me. Felix left me. Please don’t leave me, Tyler, ever. I need you. ”
He kisses my forehead. “I’m not going anywhere. It’s you and me, always.”
My eyes sting with more tears, hearing him say our phrase. “You and me, always,” I repeat. It feels like my only lifeline. “How’s my dad? Where is he?”
“He’s taking care of a few things right now. Nothing for you to worry about. Your dad is upset but he’s coping. He’s been worried about you. We all have. Felix and I haven’t left you alone once.”
I blink with confusion. “Felix has been with me?”
“Yes. He refused to leave your side.”
Tyler’s words make me frown. When he first mentioned Felix, there was a spark of hope within me. But Felix refusing to leave my side? It can’t be true. “You don’t need to lie just to make me feel better.”
“It’s not lies. He cares about you so much.”
The tears fall harder. “Please, stop. I don’t want to talk about him.” Tyler is only trying to help, but the lies make the pain in my heart worse. Where is Felix now? Why would Felix comfort me when he’s spent several years hating me?
Another memory comes to mind. Felix’s lips. His kisses from that fleeting moment when we were parked in his Jeep. His hands upon me. In me. The way he whispered my name. It was the most incredible moment of my life.
Now, that moment in his car feels distant and surreal. I wish he were here and that he’d been holding me as I slept, as Tyler claims. But the truth is, I’m a conquest for Felix and nothing more. He didn’t care about my mother, and he doesn’t care about me.