52. Harper
CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO
HARPER
FIVE WEEKS LATER
Careful not to wake Tyler, I climb out of my bed, needing the bathroom. He pulls me back down, right on top of him.
I squeal, kissing his lips and laughing. “Good morning.”
Tyler grabs my thighs, spreading them over his hips. With no barrier of clothes between us, his erection pokes at my entrance. “It will be a good morning once I have you.”
He thrusts up into me, the tight stretch drawing a sigh from my lips which he muffles with a kiss. Dad will have already left for work at this hour, but we can’t take chances.
I don’t know what I would do without Tyler in my life right now. These secret moments between us are all that’s keeping me together.
We’re panting and sweating within seconds. He flips me onto my stomach and pounds into me from behind, painting kisses along my shoulders until we’re reaching our climax at the same time.
Tyler collapses beside me and pulls me into his arms. My skin tingles and I’m sticky between my legs with his cum. This is what we’ve been like for the last five weeks, constantly having sex. Multiple times a day. Every spare second we get.
I know it’s because we’re trying to fill the void of Felix. Sex is a stress release for both of us. Tyler for sure has been more stressed than normal. I’m chasing the pleasure of his intimacy and love, using it to cover up my own pain.
As always, Tyler tells me Felix is coming back to us. He tells me every day that Felix loves me. He’s so confident in his theory that Josh is protecting Felix from something, and that when the time is right, we’ll understand everything.
I wish I had the same confidence, but I go through waves of doubt. I often wonder what the truth is, and hope Felix is safe. But six weeks of no contact has filled me with anger. I’m no longer sitting around moping over him.
When Felix decides to speak to me again, he has a lot to explain. Honestly, I’m not sure I can accept him back into my life unless his reasoning is enough to make up for the countless nights I’ve cried myself to sleep, wondering why I wasn’t worth a goodbye.
Of course, I haven’t told Tyler any of this, knowing I’ll be met with the same response of how much Felix loves me.
“Let me run you a shower.” Tyler kisses my neck.
“You’re not joining me? You’re going to smell like me all day at school.”
He laughs. “If I shower with you, chances are we’ll start fucking again. I’m already late for school.”
Lying in bed, I watch Tyler walk to my adjoining bathroom and turn the shower on for me. When he returns, naked and still with an erection, I can’t hide my smile.
He pulls his school uniform on then leans down and kisses me slowly. “Have fun at ballet, Princess.”
As soon as he leaves, I head for the bathroom, still smiling at the memory of what Tyler and I just did between my bedsheets. I open the medicine cabinet in search for a hair tie, losing the smile when I see the pregnancy test staring back at me.
I bought the test yesterday and haven’t built up the courage to take it. Nor have I told Tyler my period is one week late.
My stomach twists with dread, pulling tighter with every passing second.
I can’t be pregnant. I’m on the pill. I’m performing Swan Lake in six weeks, at the start of May, and the stress of rehearsals plus Felix’s absence has affected my cycle.
I’m not pregnant.
I’m freaking the fuck out that I am.
I have a lot of sex. The pill isn’t one hundred percent effective.
My heart rate is through the roof. The shower is still running. I switch the water off and dial Cindy’s number, almost crying when she answers.
“Have you taken the test yet?” she asks, having been with me yesterday when I bought it.
“No. I’m too scared.”
“Babe, you have to take it. Get it over and done with. You could be worrying yourself for nothing.”
“I know. It’s just… I’m so scared.”
“Worst scenario, we get the baby taken care of.”
She’s trying to be supportive, but it’s useless.
I’ve grown up in a traditional household with traditional values.
While my views on some things have changed over the last few months, this isn’t one of them.
I’m in full support of what other women want to do with their bodies, but me, I couldn’t go through with it .
“You know I don’t believe in that,” I say. “Under extreme circumstances, yes. But I don’t think I could ever.”
“Again, we’re jumping ahead of ourselves. Take the test now. I’ll stay on the phone with you.”
“Okay.” My hands shake as I pull the test from the packet and follow the instructions.
“Gosh, I’m a good friend, staying on the phone while you pee.”
We laugh, and I’m thankful for her humor. Once I’ve taken the test, I place it on the sink and start a one-minute timer. I’m pacing the bathroom, listening to Cindy trying to calm me, though it doesn’t work.
The alarm goes off and I race back to the test result, my heart sinking at the plus sign that has appeared.
“Positive,” I whisper.
I drop to the ground, hugging my knees and rocking back and forth, not hearing a word Cindy says in response. All I can think about is how furious my father will be with me, and how I can kiss my ballet career goodbye.
Whose baby is it—Tyler’s or Felix’s? It has to be Tyler’s. I haven’t seen Felix in over six weeks. But then it depends how far along I am in the pregnancy.
Shit. This can’t be happening. If Felix is the father, I can’t even contact him.
“Harper!” Cindy shouts through the speaker, trying to get a response from me. “Listen, everything will be all right. We’ll figure this out. We’ll call in sick to the academy today and make a plan. Meet me at the juice bar in an hour. Can you do that?”
“Yes,” I murmur, somehow finding the strength to pick myself up from the ground. I throw the test in the trash and quickly shower, then rush out the door with a constant stream of tears running down my face.