53. Harper
CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE
HARPER
I don’t return home until eight o’clock in the evening, prolonging the inevitable of facing Tyler. As I wait outside the front door, I take a deep breath to relax. Though, being calm seems an impossible task, given everything that’s happened today.
Cindy took me to the doctor, where they calculated dates and told me the baby belongs to Tyler. That’s one positive thing—at least I know where the father is.
Cindy and I spent the rest of the day at her place, coming up with a plan. I need to break the news to Tyler tonight. He said he’ll never leave me. This will be the test.
Then—and I don’t know when—I need to somehow find a way to tell my father.
My vision blurs with a fresh onslaught of tears, knowing my father won’t take the news well.
I wipe the tears away and unlock the door. The apartment is quiet when I step inside. I have a bunch of missed calls from Dad and Tyler, no doubt wondering where I’ve been.
I work hard to keep my voice level as I call out, “I’m home,” then head for my bedroom with the hopes of finding Tyler.
“Harper,” my father calls from the kitchen, sounding displeased. I’m not surprised. He’s probably been worried over my whereabouts. If I hadn’t been so flustered, I would have planned this better.
I enter the kitchen. “Sorry I’m late. I got caught up at ballet?—”
“The cleaner found this in your bathroom today.” My world closes in on itself as Dad places my pregnancy test on the kitchen counter. “She thought I should be informed.”
My skin is hot. Itchy. I’m burning up everywhere. There’s a ringing in my ears.
“Felix is the father, isn’t he? That’s why he left. That’s why you’ve been so upset over his disappearance.”
A tear escapes down my cheek. I shake my head, unable to find words.
“ Who is the father?”
My mouth opens, but my throat is constricted so tight I can’t speak.
“How could you let this happen, Harper?” he scolds. “You’re supposed to be waiting for marriage. Do you realize what this means for your life? Your ballet career is over before it’s begun. You haven’t even graduated high school. This is a disgrace. Your mother would be appalled. Who is the father?”
Footsteps approach. “Harp, is that you?” Tyler enters the kitchen, stopping once he sees my wet face and the tense scene between me and my father. “What’s happened?”
I still can’t speak. My pulse thunders in my ears. Tyler’s gaze switches from me to my father, then down to the pregnancy test. I see the exact moment Tyler puts two and two together. His jaw tenses and he gulps. Then he looks at me, his gaze filled with concern and kindness and… love .
Of course this is his reaction. I never should have doubted him.
“You’re pregnant?” he asks.
My gaze drops to the ground with shame.
Dad audibly sucks in a surprised breath of air. “You’re the father, Tyler. Aren’t you?”
“Harper, it’s okay.” Tyler walks toward me.
“Don’t take another step near my daughter,” Dad warns with so much disgust in his voice that it makes me flinch.
“I welcomed you into my home. Treated you like family. I trusted you to take care of my daughter while I was in Italy because you’ve always acted like a brother to her.
And this is the response I’m met with? You get her pregnant.
Pack your bags and get out of my home right this second. ”
“Dad—”
“No, Harper, not a word from you. I have never been more disappointed in my life. How long have you two been sneaking around behind my back?”
“Not long,” I whisper.
“Thomas, I understand you’re upset. But I need to speak to Harper about this.”
Dad glares at him. “You will not spend another night here. Harper, we’ll continue this discussion in my office once Tyler is gone.”
As soon as my father leaves the kitchen, Tyler wraps me in a hug and kisses my forehead. I cry against his chest, clinging tight.
“It’s okay, Harper,” he hushes. “Everything is going to be all right.”
“How can you say that?”
“Because I’ll take care of you, no matter what. It’s you and me, always. Never ever question that.” He scoops me into his arms, cradling me as he carries me to his bedroom to collect his belongings.
The thought of him moving out tonight has me crying all over again. “I don’t want you to leave.”
“I know, baby. But this is your father’s home and what he says goes.”
“Take me with you.”
Tyler places me on his bed and kneels in front of me, kissing the scars on my hands. “You need to speak with your father.”
“I’m sorry this happened. I took the pill religiously when Felix was here. But then he left and I was so upset. Finding him was all I could focus on. There must have been a few days where I was too sidetracked to take the pill?—”
“I understand, Harp. You don’t need to explain anything. Please don’t blame yourself. This is just as much my doing.” He pauses, deep in thought for a moment. “Is there any chance Felix is the father?”
“No. How are you so calm about all of this?”
Tyler smiles at me. “You being pregnant is unexpected but it doesn’t change the way I feel about you.
You’re not just some girl I’m fooling around with before someone better comes along.
I’ve been in love with you my entire life.
We’re young but we’ve already started living our life together. This pregnancy doesn’t ruin anything.”
My head sags between my shoulders. “It ruins my ballet career. It ruins my relationship with my father. It will complicate things with Felix.” Although, Felix is already doing a good enough job at destroying our relationship.
“You don’t need to have the baby if you don’t want to?—”
“Cindy said the same thing. But I can’t get rid of the baby.
I don’t want to be pregnant but… this is also my baby.
Our baby. It’s just… too soon. I never thought I’d have a child out of wedlock.
Honestly, I didn’t even know if I wanted children at all.
At least not until much older, after the peak of my career. ”
As I listen to myself speak, I hear the lunacy in my words.
I’m not sure how I envisioned children fitting into my relationship with Tyler and Felix when marriage can only take place between two people.
It should have been a discussion we all had, but the logistics of children and marriage never entered my mind because I was too happy in the present with Tyler and Felix.
“Being pregnant is embarrassing,” I continue. “People will talk. I’m not married and I’m so young?—”
“Fuck what other people say. It’s not embarrassing.”
Maybe not for Tyler, but for me it is. I start crying again. My life is a complete mess.
“Marry me, Harper.”
I gasp, wiping my eyes. Tyler’s words are soft and unplanned, but the sincerity in his eyes shows me there’s nothing forced about the proposal.
“I’m going to take care of your every need. I love you and if marriage is something you need to feel secure, then marry me.”
“I… um…”
“You don’t need to answer me right now. If you turn me down, I’ll still love you and be with you always. But the option is here if it’s what you need.”
I swallow hard, whispering, “How does Felix fit into the equation?”
Tyler remains quiet, his eyes pained. I know it’s because the answer is plain and simple: Felix doesn’t fit into the equation.
But where is Felix right now?
Regardless of whatever drove Felix away, there’s one thing I know to be true about him.
Felix is not reliable.
This has always been one of my insecurities about him.
Tyler is and always has been my safe place. He always shows up for me. I’m never afraid some force outside of my control will take him away from me.
“You, me, and no Felix,” I say, hating the way it sounds. But it’s already a reality. Felix is not here and he hasn’t been for a long time.
From the twitch in Tyler’s jaw, I know he doesn’t like the sound of it either. “I don’t know how Felix fits into this. The three of us can still find a way to be together.”
“How? You really think he’ll be happy about us being married and having a child together? Would you be happy if the roles were reversed?”
He sighs. I can see the stress within him and how hard he’s fighting to stay positive.
“I don’t know, Harp. I’ll find a way to explain everything to Felix when he returns.
Right now, you’re my priority. I’ll do anything to make you feel safe, loved, and happy.
That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do for you. ”
I wipe my eyes, a slight smile peeking through the wreckage of my emotions. “You’re so good to me, Tyler. You’re perfect. But I need time to think.”
“Take all the time you need. I won’t be far away. Call me if you need me and I’ll come right back.” His lips press to mine, the kiss a bittersweet goodbye.
“I love you, Tyler.”
“Not as much as I love you. Trust me.”