18. Ally
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
ALLY
“How many months until the wedding?” I strip down to my bikini and step into the water, feeling the heat of Dan’s eyes from where he sits with Felix and Killian across the pool.
When I don’t receive an immediate answer from Daxton and Jordan, I realize I’ve interrupted an intimate moment. The water skews visibility, but I can see Daxton has Jordan’s legs wrapped around his waist. He whispers something against her lips, the two of them laughing through kisses. Everyone has relocated to the pool area after lunch, dressed in swimwear, though the three of us are the only ones currently in the water.
“Just under four months,” Daxton says, ending the kiss and swimming closer to me with Jordan still in his arms. “We’ll fly the wedding party to California a few days earlier, so make sure you get time off work.”
“Sure. No problem.” The wedding will be held at Daxton’s family vineyard where he grew up. I’ve spent a bit of time there as a kid. It will be nice to return.
“Oh, before I forget,” Jordan says to me. “We need to organize a time to get your bridesmaid dress fitted. ”
“Sacred Heart has this massive five-day weekend starting Wednesday night. Some religious holiday. Can we find some time over the weekend?”
“Sounds great.”
“So, kid, how’s the new job treating you?” Daxton asks.
“It’s a big adjustment.” I plunge into the water, fully submerged, and push my hair back from my face as I resurface. The water is borderline too cold, being the first week of October. If I’m being honest, I’m only swimming today because I want Dan to see me in my bikini.
As for my answer to Daxton’s question about my job, I don’t have much more to add. Nothing positive, at least. The staff stress me out. Appearance wise, it still feels like I could pass as one of the students and none of the staff take me seriously for that reason. I barely have time to practice the piano anymore. I’m always staying late due to meetings or to complete administrative tasks. It’s not enjoyable at all. But I suppose a job isn’t intended to be enjoyable. Thank God there haven’t been any more mentions of my name in the media since the start of term when I allegedly walked into a strip club.
The one benefit of working at Sacred Heart is that it’s brought me closer to Killian and I’m forming somewhat of a friendship with Violet. I suppose my students are nice too.
“You don’t enjoy teaching?” Daxton asks, always perceptive.
“I didn’t say that.”
“Juilliard is waiting for you, kid.”
“No, it’s not,” I mutter with a sense of melancholy dampening my mood.
He gets the hint, dropping the subject. “I’ve been practicing my piano scales in preparation for your return from Paris. ”
Finally, a topic of conversation I don’t feel the need to brush off. I splash him with water. “You seriously think you can beat me?”
“The competition takes place this afternoon.”
“Okay, you’re on.” We shake hands, laughing.
Jordan releases herself from Daxton’s arms. “I’m getting pruney fingers from the water. You two stay talking. I’m going to lay in the sun for a bit.”
“My skin is heading the same way,” Daxton says. “I’ll join you.”
“Oh, hey, one last thing,” Jordan says to me. “Your birthday is coming up soon. The big twenty-one. How are we celebrating?”
I shrug. “I’m not sure. I haven’t had a chance to think about it.”
The question makes me feel kind of bad. Dan’s birthday is before mine—Sunday, one week from now. Yet no one ever mentions it because it’s the same date as his mother’s death. We’d all like to celebrate his birthday but Dan is the one who set the precedent many years ago that everyone ignore the day.
Dan and I rarely speak about the loss of his mom and my dad anymore, but it was a big bonding point between us when first meeting. I know the guilt of her death still gets to him, even after all these years. He blames himself for his brothers growing up without their mom. Josh lost his wife and Dan always felt resented by him throughout his childhood.
Perhaps Josh did struggle with resentment. I don’t know. The two men have a complicated history I’m not a part of. But the Josh I know today doesn’t harbor those feelings toward Dan. He wants a relationship with Dan and to celebrate his birthday. The two of them just don’t know how to communicate.
As for Dan’s brothers, Felix told me they were all too young to remember much of their mother and don’t blame him for her death. Nothing anyone says changes Dan’s mind. He insists on spending the day alone every year and without a single happy birthday or present from anyone.
I’ve learned to respect his wishes, but it never stops feeling strange to ignore his birthday, more so this year than others, considering we’ll be celebrating such a significant birthday of mine.
“I’ll talk to your mom and see what we can organize for your twenty-first,” Jordan says, stepping out of the water with Daxton right behind her.
Alone in the pool, I dip my head back beneath the surface and stay down here for a long moment, holding my breath and ruminating on the birthday situation. When I’m out of breath, I pop back up in time to see Dan dive into the water.
He surfaces right in front of me, with that same amused spark he’s held in his eyes for me all day. I’m suddenly hot within the cold water.
“Hey.” It’s a pathetic greeting but is all I can think to say.
He smirks, swimming closer to me. Far closer than he should. “Hey? You’ve barely spoken to me all day. Stop acting so nervous. People will notice.”
I swim backward, trying to create an acceptable distance between us. “You’re purposely trying to make me nervous.”
“Maybe. Cute bikini.” He swims closer, lowering his voice. “You, swimming in October? Come on, sis. If you want my eyes on you, there are easier ways that don’t involve any clothes at all.”
My legs squeeze together at the instant flurry of arousal that travels through me. My breath quickens. My back bumps into the pool wall. “Dan,” I whisper in panic as he swims even closer. “What are you doing?”
I glance around, hoping no one sees us like this. Felix and Killian are busy chatting. Mom and Josh are lounging on daybeds, drinking cocktails with Tyler and Harper, now with the addition of Daxton and Jordan. But one look in our direction and they’ll see a brother and sister far too close.
Catching onto my concerns, Dan grabs a nearby pool float—a giant swan—and positions it between us and the rest of the family, acting as a shield. It barely puts me at ease. With a tilt of someone’s head or a couple steps to the side, we’ll be caught.
“So, big date tonight,” he says. “Don’t you think we should talk about what will happen? I mean, as your teacher.”
“I thought the teaching thing was off.”
“You thought wrong. I still have lots of things to teach you,” he whispers, the sound filthy.
My heart thumps so hard I can feel it all throughout myself. All I can do is breathe. No words come out of my mouth. All week, I’ve been desperate to feel Dan’s hands on my body. Now that he’s so close, the desire is intensified. Yet at the same time, I’m panicked someone will catch us like this.
“An hour ago, you wanted to punish me for this date. Now you’re encouraging me to go on it?”
“Yes. All part of my teaching. You’ll see. And don’t worry, you’ll still be punished.”
Dan places both hands on the pool ledge, either side of my head, and pulls himself closer, till his body is pressed against mine. I muffle a gasp at the feel of his cock against my stomach. He grabs my thighs and hooks them around his waist, pushing the head of his erection to my opening.
My legs tighten around him for a blissful moment, drawing us closer, until common sense snaps me out of it and I push space between us. “What has gotten into you, acting this way in front of the family when we could so easily get caught.”
“That’s half the fun of it. You’ve been such a good girl your entire life. I know how much it turns you on, doing the wrong thing.”
“But—”
“No buts. I’ll do whatever I want to you, whenever I want. Remember?”
I search Dan’s eyes, trying to read what’s happening between us. The way he looks at me is with the same depravity I witnessed in the backseat of his car. Utter obsession, and I love it. It’s a look I haven’t been able to get out of my head all week. I want to see him look at me like this again when it’s just the two of us and I’m naked. Not when we’re in public.
His antics suddenly make sense and my stomach twists with fear. “This is my punishment—submitting and letting you do what you want with me right in front of our family?”
“Yes, Queen.”
The fear is replaced with shock, hearing that name leave his lips. My heart squeezes and I work hard to prevent my chin from trembling. “You haven’t called me that name since before Paris?—”
“You never stopped being my queen, even after how badly you fucked up by leaving me the way you did.”
I lick my lips, thinking about all the years we lived together and how much I miss what we had. “What do you want me to do?” I murmur.
“Go to the outdoor shower and wait for me there.”
My muscles throb between my legs, needing to be relieved no matter what fucked up situation I’m about to get myself in. I follow Dan’s instructions without question and climb out of the pool, wringing my hair.
“Are you heading inside, honey?” Mom calls to me from her sun lounger, mid-conversation with Jordan.
“Yeah, I need to start preparing for my date tonight.”
I walk past the group, around the corner of the pool house and out of sight to its exterior shower. Cold water trickles down my body once I turn the faucet on, but it does nothing to lower the heat building in my core. I rest my back against the shower wall and close my eyes, trying to find some stability within myself while waiting for Dan and whatever he has in mind for me.
“I’m so happy for Ally. Have you met Liam?” Jordan’s voice travels around the corner, emphasizing the short distance to the family.
“No,” my mother responds. “I’m hoping she’ll introduce us when he picks her up tonight.”
When I open my eyes again, Dan is standing at the edge of the pool house, just out of everyone’s view, staring at my body. He steps up to the shower, joining me beneath the downpour, and washes himself in silence. The way his abs move has me imagining what they would look like flexing during sex. Would he make the same deep and desperate groans from last weekend in his car too?
“I’m pleased she’s found someone she likes,” my mother continues. “It’s also a big adjustment for me, seeing my little girl grow up and date someone. ”
Dan laughs, whispering into my ear, “If only your mother knew what her little girl is really like.”
His words send a mixture of shame and desire through me. Dan stops washing himself and places a hand high up on the wall above my head. He’s so tall and broad, towering over me. His gaze travels all the way down my body and slowly back up.
“As your teacher… brother… whatever title you prefer, I should let you know your date will try to touch you here tonight.” Dan strokes a finger up the front of my bikini bottoms, the heat of his finger penetrating the material. I moan, my reaction drawing a deep sound of approval from Dan’s chest.
His lips graze my ear again, his hot breath making me shiver. “You must be so wound up, rubbing against my hand all throughout lunch.”
I can’t bring myself to answer him. All I know is I don’t want him to stop touching me down there. When Dan leans back and sees the desperation in my eyes, he gets the message loud and clear and slowly pulls on the string that ties my bikini bottoms together. I gasp as they come undone and drop to the ground, leaving me naked from the waist down. There’s a splash wall on one side of the shower that I could duck behind for shelter if anyone walked this way, but it’s narrow and would barely hide me.
“Dan—”
“I could fuck you right here.” His finger strokes a languid line from my opening all the way up to my clit.
My hand claps to my mouth, smothering the cry of pleasure that bursts out of me. I’m the only one who has ever touched such an intimate place on my body. This is the first time Dan has ever truly indulged in taking my body for himself, and I’ve waited so long to feel him between my legs.
He groans, like this moment is just as intense for him. “Look how wet you are for me. Fucking little slut. You’d let me fuck you right here, right now, with everyone so close by, wouldn’t you?”
I nod, my hips arching into Dan’s hand, chasing the feeling of his touch.
“So impatient, aren’t you.”
I send him a pleading look, willing him to continue stroking me. Instead, he pulls at the string of my bikini top, until I’m completely naked, out in the open for anyone to see. I have no idea what excuse I’ll give if caught, but I’m too deep in the moment to care.
Dan glares at my chest. Water trickles over my nipples, my breasts rising and falling with each heavy breath I take. “Your body is fucking perfection, you know that, right?”
“I thought I was too thin?”
“You’re taking better care of yourself.” He strokes a piece of hair behind my ear, his fingers following the direction of water down to my breast where his thumb brushes against my nipple.
My eyelids flutter shut at the pleasure. “Lower,” I plead.
His fingers trace the curve of my hip, finding their way between my thighs and giving one painfully slow stroke to my clit. A whimper leaves my mouth.
“So, you like this, huh?” he says, his voice rough and low. “You like when your brother touches you here?”
Dan’s thumb swirls around my clit this time. I nod, too lost in the sensation to form a coherent reply. My God, I am so fucked up for liking how he refers to himself as my brother.
“Trust me when I say you have no idea how much I think about this little body of yours and everything I want to do to it.” His finger slides inside my pussy, slick and hot, and I moan, unable to suppress the sound. It feels like he’s reached a part of me I never knew existed, and I don’t dare close my eyes, needing to see the way he looks at me, as though he’s struggling to maintain control.
But then it dawns on me that my moan may have been too loud.
I glance back to the pool area, sweating with panic that someone could walk around the corner any moment and see me naked, with Dan’s fingers inside me.
“You want me to stop?” he taunts.
I bite my bottom lip, holding back a moan, and shake my head. I’ll take the risk. The public setting is frightening, but Dan knows me too well, how doing the wrong thing always gets me off. I need to feel Dan’s hands on me. In me. I want him to give me an orgasm for once, instead of always standing back to watch.
Dan’s eyes never leave mine as he pulls out and slowly inserts a second finger, eliciting another gasp from deep within me that I race to cover with my hand. His other hand gets busy, cupping my breast and teasing the hardened peak of my nipple.
“I thought you’d hold out on me for longer,” I manage to say through the pleasure, being a brat and hoping to trigger that cruel, possessive look in his eyes from last Saturday night when he pinned my wrists above my head and delayed my orgasm. “You get all my firsts. Guess this means I can let Liam finger me tonight.”
“Exactly.”
Confusion fills me. His answer is not at all what I was expecting. Before either of us can say another word, my mother speaks .
“I need another cocktail. Anyone want a refill?”
Every muscle in my body stiffens with panic when I hear her footsteps approach. Dan swears under his breath and shoves the two of us behind the narrow shower splash wall, out of view, but barely.
His fingers continue to work my pussy, in and out repeatedly, the heel of his palm rubbing against my clit with each thrust.
“Dan, we can’t keep?—”
He covers my mouth with his other hand. “I don’t stop until you’re coming on my fingers. Understand?”
He adds a third finger, and I bite his hand to stop myself from moaning at the delicious stretch.
He smirks, his hand picking up speed. “You’re being such a good girl for me. Now, tighten your pussy. Build your orgasm.”
He’s so bossy, yet I love it. I squeeze tight, the pleasure climbing within me, aching for release when I hear my mother’s footsteps right on the other side of the splash wall. This might be the most fucked up thing I’ve ever done, the most fucked up thing I’ve ever been turned on by—the fear of my mother catching me, naked and with Dan’s fingers in me.
“That’s it,” Dan purrs in my ear, lowering his hand from my mouth. “Fuck, you’re such a slut and I love it.”
My body is at his mercy, being this vulnerable in front of Dan. It’s both terrifying and exhilarating, this loss of control. I want him to use me for his pleasure in every way possible.
His thrusting is rough. Rougher than I’ve ever been with myself. His fingers are both an instrument of pleasure and punishment, almost to the point where it hurts, but in the most addictive way. I look into Dan’s eyes, seeing darkness and obsession. Jealousy. It only drives me closer to the edge, knowing how territorial he is over me.
“Dan, please,” I beg, my brows pinching together. What I’m asking for, I don’t know. Definitely not to stop. I’ll be tender afterward, but I don’t care.
“Please, what?” he taunts. “Make you come? Your mother is right around the corner. You want her to find me fucking you with my fingers?”
My pussy clenches at his words. A guttural sound leaves Dan’s chest and his erection presses against my leg. The feeling of his cock pushes me to my peak. Pure, white heat radiates throughout my body as my pussy grips his fingers, pulling them in deeper. I’m gasping, choking on air, my entire body shaking with the force of the orgasm. Dan covers my mouth once more with his palm, muffling the scream of pleasure I have no control over.
As the last vibrations of my orgasm subside, Dan tilts his head around the corner of the splash wall, then releases his hand from my mouth. “Your mother is gone.”
I collapse against the wall, weak and with Dan’s arm around my waist being the only thing holding me up. I’m panting, my throat raw from screaming into his hand. My heart is pounding and I’m lightheaded.
“Fuck,” Dan whispers as I catch my breath, watching me with awe. “Fuck, Ally. You have no clue, do you?”
“About what?”
“The power you have over me. I would do anything for you.”
His words are both everything I want to hear and everything I shouldn’t hear. “Don’t speak like that. We can’t… feel this way for each other.”
Dan lets out a short and cruel laugh, his voice velvet. “Tonight, on your date, let him touch you where I just did. Then, come and tell me if it feels anywhere near as good as what we’ve just done.” He brings his fingers up to his lips, the ones that were just inside me, and sucks every last bit of my wetness off them. “You and I might be wrong for each other. But trust me, Ally, no one has what we have.”