30. Ally
CHAPTER THIRTY
ALLY
The work week starts off a drag, even more so than usual. I’m mentally drained from the panic attack on my birthday and it shows when even my students ask if I’m all right. I can’t bring myself to wake up early to join Killian and Violet for our runs. Each day when work finishes, I remain behind, having no energy to act happy around Mom and Josh. I tell them I’m busy with work.
Instead, I stay cooped up in my classroom, playing the piano late into the evenings because I miss the feeling of transcendence it gives me. But most of all, because it occupies my mind and I don’t have to think about anything else, especially the one man who refuses to leave my head.
Come Wednesday at five p.m., Violet knocks on my classroom and enters. “I have a date tonight.”
My fingers stop mid-song and I smile. Other people’s dating lives I can be excited for. Mine, not so much. “Nice. With Killian?”
She gives me the middle finger and laughs. “A guy I met on a dating app. I need to ask a massive favor. Can I please raid your closet for something cute to wear? ”
“Of course.” I cuss inside my head, knowing I’ll have to return home earlier than usual. But I’ll do it for Violet.
I close the piano and pack up my belongings. As the two of us head to Violet’s car, she gushes about all the conversations she’s had with this guy, but as soon as we pull out of the parking lot, the focus shifts to me.
“How was your birthday with Liam?”
I sigh and tell her the truth. “It was nice aside from the panic attack I had.”
“Shit. What happened?”
“I don’t know. I was just… over stimulated.”
Violet chews her bottom lip. I can tell she wants to say something, so I ask her to spit it out. “You reckon you would have had a panic attack with this other guy?”
“What other guy?”
“You know, the one you had sex with at the benefit.” Her grin is filled with mischief. I jab her ribs and she squeals.
“We didn’t—” I sigh, avoiding that topic. To answer her question, the absence of Dan on my birthday definitely didn’t help the panic attack situation. “I know you don’t like Liam because of the open relationship thing. But he’s changed. Can we focus on your date tonight? What do you want to wear?”
We talk about potential outfits for the rest of the drive home. When we step through my front door, I head upstairs, guiding Violet to my room, wanting to avoid my parents. But I’m not quick enough. By the time I reach the fourth step, I can already hear Mom approaching.
“Honey, is that you?” She enters the hallway, looking far more fancy than she should for a random Wednesday night. Her hair is perfected with long golden curls, and she has the most gorgeous floral dress on. I assume she’s having a date night with Josh. “You’re home in time for dinner. Oh, and you’ve brought Violet. Excellent. Why don’t you help me set the table? Violet, are you staying for dinner?”
“She has a date,” I answer. “I’m helping her find an outfit. I’ll be down soon.”
“Honey?” Mom rests a hand at the bottom of the staircase railing, watching me with a concerned look. “Are you feeling all right? You haven’t been yourself recently. Ever since the knife attack.”
Since the night I slept with Dan.
I force a smile. “Just tired and overworked. I’m okay.”
“Well, it’s a good thing I’ve cooked your favorite dinner.” Mom climbs the staircase and takes my hand in hers, guiding me back down to the ground.
“Mom, what are you doing?”
Violet chuckles, following the two of us.
“Mom, seriously.”
“Come on, darling. I promise you’ll feel better once you have some food in you.”
She pulls me from the entry hall, through the living room and kitchen. As soon as we enter the dining room, a bunch of voices shout, “SURPRISE!”
A massive Happy Twenty-First Birthday, Ally banner hangs above a banquet table covered in a feast. Dozens of balloons filled with sparkling confetti float at the ceiling with gold ribbon hanging down. There’s even an overflowing champagne tower.
Scattered throughout the dining room is all my family. The brothers. Harper.
Dan.
He’s smiling at me and I can’t look away. My heart is beating so incredibly fast at the sight of him. Our phone call on my birthday ended badly, but I realize I’m smiling too, having missed him so much during this month we’ve been apart.
Mom wraps an arm around my shoulders. “I know you asked for no party, and I’m sorry if you hate it. But we all love you so much and there’s no way we could let your twenty-first go by without celebrating.”
The initial shock of the surprise party hasn’t worn off yet. Maybe I should be upset with my mother for going against my wishes, but Dan is here and that’s all I care about. I could cry, I’m so happy to see him.
“I love the party. Thank you.” To my surprise, the words aren’t a lie. Despite the mental exhaustion I’ve been feeling these last few days, the effort my mother has made to celebrate my birthday, plus everyone showing up for me, does make me happy. “Wait, Violet, you have that date.”
Violet laughs, shaking her head. “I needed some excuse to get you away from work. Oh, and on the topic of work, we’ve organized for you to have the day off tomorrow. So, party hard tonight.”
“Sacred Heart approved this?”
“It took some sweet talking, but yes.”
My eyes land on a side table with a mini grand piano on top. “Jesus Christ.” There’s a cake knife beside it, along with plates and spoons. “Is that piano a cake? Mom, that’s incredible.”
Josh steps out from behind all the guests, laughing, and draws me into a hug. “Your mother and Jordan organized an amazing party but the cake was my idea, and I’m taking credit for it.”
“Best cake ever.”
The moment I step back from Josh, someone’s hand slips into mine, weaving their fingers with mine, and they kiss my cheek. “Happy birthday, beautiful.”
It takes me far too long to realize it’s Liam. I hadn’t seen him standing among everyone and feel awkward about his intimate greeting, especially in front of Dan. I sneak a glance at Dan to gauge his reaction, finding his gaze on Liam, his jaw tight. Definitely a situation I wanted to avoid.
Felix places a hand on Dan’s shoulder and squeezes. I’m no lip reader, but it looks like he whispers the word easy in Dan’s ear. Dan breaks concentration, starting a conversation with his brother.
I hug Liam and thank him for the happy birthday wishes. “Hey, I thought you had a gig in the city tonight?”
“I do. Starts at midnight. I’ll get there in time. I didn’t want to miss your party. Come on, let’s say hi to everyone.”
“A classical music fair. What a perfect gift. It sounds like you and Ally had a good day together,” Jordan says in response to Liam’s recount of my birthday, having left out the panic attack part.
Small groups of conversation take place at the table as everyone finishes their meal. I’m seated in the middle, with Liam and Dan on either side of me. It’s awkward as hell. Dan and I have barely exchanged words. Daxton and Jordan are seated across from us, listening to Liam.
“The fair was great fun,” Liam says.
Dan gives a ridiculing laugh. “Yeah, a panic attack sounds like real fun.”
My eyes whip to him. It’s the first thing he’s said in ten minutes. He’s words were quiet, and among all the chatter at the table, I’m hoping I’m the only one who heard.
“Ally was feeling a little off,” Liam says. “But she recovered quickly. ”
Daxton pours himself another drink. “Still getting those nasty panic attacks, kid?”
Great, I guess everyone heard.
“I get them occasionally. It’s not that bad.” I glare at Dan for bringing up the topic. He holds my gaze, not backing down.
Mom stands from the head of the table. “Okay, everyone, the night is getting on and I know Liam needs to leave early for his gig. Let’s clear the table and open the presents.”
Everyone helps clean up, stacking plates and carrying them through to the kitchen. Within five minutes, we all return to our chairs and there’s a mound of presents in the center of the table.
“Okay, open your present from me and Josh first,” Mom says, leaning over the table to hand me an envelope. They gave me a present on my actual birthday. It was an expensive bottle of champagne with a Mozart label, imported from his hometown. I suppose its purpose was achieved, to prevent any suspicion of an upcoming party.
Inside the envelope, there’s a gift voucher for a weekend away at an island resort, along with two plane tickets. “Wow. Thank you. I love it.”
“So romantic.” Violet winks at me. “I know the perfect guy for you to take.”
I shake my head, laughing at the meaning behind her words only I understand.
“We thought you and Violet could have a fun girls weekend away,” Mom says. “But of course, you can take whoever you please.”
More presents come my way. I open each one, receiving athlete grade running shoes from Killian, theater tickets from Tyler and Harper, a bottle of absinthe from Felix, which he insists we’ll drink together now that I’m legal, and sheet music from Daxton and Jordan. Violet passes me her gift, and I give her a massive hug when seeing she’s bought us ballet tickets to an upcoming production of The Nutcracker .
“Liam’s present is next.” Mom slides forward a tall and narrow present, about two feet in height.
I glance at Liam, shocked. “The fair was your present. You didn’t need to get me anything else.”
“I know I didn’t need to. I wanted to.”
I unwrap the present and the box inside, pulling out a bouquet of roses constructed from sheet music. “Liam, this is incredible.” I give him a quick hug, beyond impressed. Since inviting Liam back into my life, he’s done one thoughtful thing after the next, crafted to my interests. “What song is this?”
“A serenade by Mozart.”
“Did you fold the roses yourself?” Harper asks.
“Yeah,” Liam laughs. “Took a while. Got a few paper cuts.”
“It’s amazing. Thank you,” I tell him.
“Liam, you are so sweet.” Mom passes me a small box. “This is the last present. Dan, I’m guessing this one is from you?”
“Yeah,” he mutters beside me.
I feel strange opening Dan’s present, given our situation. We haven’t had a chance to speak much. Things are tense between us, regardless of how pleased I am that he’s here tonight.
Dan’s gaze softens. “Happy birthday. You going to open the present or just hold it?”
I glance around the table, realizing everyone is waiting on me. I unwrap the present, finding a small velvet box, and when I open it, there’s a gold necklace with a heart pendant inside.
“Dan… it’s beautiful. Thank you.”
“The heart is a locket. Open it.”
As soon as I unclasp the heart, a lump forms in my throat and tears well in my eyes. Staring back at me is a copy of the misplaced photograph of my mother and father holding me as a baby, shrunken down to fit inside.
“Oh my gosh, Dan, how did you find this photo?”
“What photo is it?” Mom asks. I turn the box for her to see. She raises a hand to her mouth and her eyes become pools of tears. “We have been searching for years. Dan, this is the most thoughtful present.”
“You did good, son,” Josh says, wrapping an arm around Mom. Everyone sits in silence. The party is so quiet that all I can hear are the waves crashing in the ocean beyond this dining room.
“Where did you find the photo?” Mom asks.
Dan rubs the back of his neck, his voice low and reserved, like this is an awkward conversation to be having with an audience. “I took a day trip up here recently while you were all at work and searched the attic for hours. I’d already turned the Manhattan apartment upside down searching for the photo. The only other place it could have been was here. I made a copy for the necklace. I can get the original back to you.”
Tears fall down my cheeks. “This is the most amazing present anyone could have given me. You don’t know how much this means to me.”
“I do.” His voice drops even lower, almost to a whisper, just for me. “I spent ages thinking of something meaningful I could get you for your twenty-first. Nothing felt right except for this. I knew you’d been searching for it over the years.”
You’ll be back. I don’t know when. It could be days. Months. Years. But you’ll be back, and I’ll be here waiting for you.
My chest tightens as I gaze into Dan’s dark eyes, remembering his parting words from our one night together. Breathing becomes painful, just as it did at the fair.
“Um, I’m going to take the presents to my room.” I stand from the table, collecting all the gifts in my hands, using them as an excuse to escape, when what I really need is privacy to get a hold on myself before I break out with another panic attack.
“Do you need help with the presents?” Mom asks.
“No, it’s okay. I’d like a moment alone if no one minds.”