Chapter 4 Harper
CHAPTER FOUR
HARPER
“Felix?” My voice wavers. There’s no way Felix Blackwood is sitting on my bed, stroking my hair. I’m still sleeping. This is some cruel extension of my nightmare.
I sit up, searching his deep green eyes. They gaze back at me with tenderness I haven’t seen from him in eight years. This can’t be real. He’s a beautiful mirage, playing tricks on my mind.
But when my fingers press to his lips, feeling his warmth beneath my skin and his shudder, I realize I’m wide awake. Felix kisses my fingertips. His chest rises heavily with each breath.
“You’re really here.” My heart flutters. I’m trembling with him as tears of relief trickle down my cheeks.
“Yes, Harper. I’m here,” he murmurs, brushing away my tears.
“Why?”
He takes my palm. A spark rushes up my arm as he trails a finger along my scar. “You know why. You belong to me for life.”
His reasoning doesn’t make sense. I’ve been saying that phrase to him for years and it never changed anything between us. Is he here because he heard Tyler and I are no longer together? Was it my letter I recently sent?
Whatever the answer, I don’t care. I’m too happy to risk ruining this moment with a conversation about Tyler.
“I’ve missed you so much, Felix.”
“I know. I’ve missed you too. Every day has been painful without you, my beautiful scarlet mirage.”
My breath hitches, knowing that phrase off by heart. He wrote me one hundred and fifty letters when trapped in Westbridge. I still read them till this day. They’re stored in my bedside drawer at home. There’s one letter with some of the most meaningful words I’ve ever read.
You are my light, Harper. The only thing shining through this endless misery. You always said I was a mirage. But you’re the mirage, Harper. My beautiful scarlet mirage.
After all these years, he remembers the phrase? I assumed he would have forgotten.
“Bad dream?” he asks.
I’m so swept up in Felix’s presence, entranced by his hypnotic eyes, that it takes me a few moments to realize he witnessed my strained sleep. I haven’t slept well in years, plagued with recurring nightmares of the day Felix and I broke up and my entire world shattered.
I blink away tears. “I’m fine. More than fine. You being here makes everything better.”
Felix’s gaze trails over my face, drinking me in. His jaw clenches. There’s pain in him as he strokes my brow bone. My black eye. “You won’t have to worry about him anymore.”
Him? I don’t fully comprehend what Felix is talking about.
The man who attacked me after rehearsal the other day?
I heard his body was found in the river.
Is that what Felix is referring to? I can’t think straight, especially when Felix’s eyes dip to my body.
A muscle twitches in his jaw. He rasps, reminding me I’m naked.
The look within him switches from affectionate to pure obsession, and I love it.
“As beautiful as I remember.” His throat works as his gaze drags back up to my face, lingering on my mouth. “The prettiest lips.”
A thrill rushes through me. Nervous, excited, desperate. Before I know what I’m doing, my mouth presses to his in an abrupt kiss.
He’s shocked. So am I, embarrassed by my inability to control myself, and pull back.
Felix laughs softly and murmurs, “Just like our first kiss in my car. Kiss me properly, Harper.”
I smile too, trembling as I climb onto his lap.
My lips linger inches from his. His warm breath brushes my face, making my mind swim with an intoxicating dizziness.
I’m tingling and hot all over as I close the distance, gently pressing my lips to his.
Felix meets me with an open-mouthed kiss, slow and deep.
Eight years of longing are poured into this one perfect moment. My fingers tangle in his blond hair. The heat of his body seeps into mine, and I melt into him, feeling his heart hammering, matching my own frantic rhythm.
The kiss is tender, until his hot palms grip my thighs and yank me closer, pressing me against his erection.
A jolt of pleasure shoots from my clit. My body arches into his, begging for more.
His hands roam my hips, leaving trails of fire.
Felix cups my breasts, groaning as he brings my nipples into his mouth.
“Felix,” I gasp at the teasing strokes of his tongue.
He pushes me onto my back, kneeling above me. Buttons fly as Felix tears off his shirt. My eyes widen at the sight of his torso, muscular and covered in ink, more so than the last time I studied the artwork. His pants come off next, revealing his cock standing tall for me.
My god, this is really happening. I whimper in anticipation, having feared we’d never be intimate again.
“Fuck, Harper. I am so goddamn obsessed with you. You live in my head every minute of every fucking day.”
My chest swells with happiness, hearing Felix’s confession. The head of his cock presses between my legs, making my eyelids fall shut with bliss.
“Look at me when I enter you.”
I follow his words, a little fearful when I see his possessive eyes locked onto me. But the fear is what arouses me. I’ve been addicted to this man my entire life.
I would do anything for Felix. Be anyone for him. I would kill for him, just like he killed for me when we were teenagers. I would lose my mind and turn crazy if he asked me to. Anything for Felix, just to be his again.
Felix gazes into my eyes, seeing through to the deepest part of my soul as his cock enters me with one powerful thrust. I moan too loud, not caring if anyone in the surrounding rooms hear.
My back arches off the bed as he fills me completely.
He’s so big, stretching me wide. I haven’t had sex in months. His size hurts, but in the best way.
“Fuck, I’ve missed you, Harper.” His muscles tremble as he holds still, trying to control himself.
I don’t dare shut my eyes, wanting to memorize every detail about Felix. The way our bodies match perfectly. The tension in his jaw and between his brows.
Just when I think I might go insane if Felix doesn’t move, he thrusts with slow but forceful strokes that send shockwaves of pleasure through me.
My legs wrap tight around his waist, pulling him deeper, consumed mind, body, and soul by him.
Felix rolls his hips, driving into me again and again, each time stretching me farther, pausing at the deepest point to make me feel everything.
My hands bunch through his hair. His mouth is everywhere. My neck, collarbones, and breasts. He grabs my scarred palms and worships them with kisses. I nearly reach my climax when he weaves our fingers, linking his own scar with mine.
I gasp as he strokes my clit, working me toward an orgasm. “Please, not yet.”
“You feel too good. I need to pull out, but not before I feel you come on my cock.”
Hearing Felix speak like that breaks my control. The tight coil of tension in my lower torso bursts and I’m blacking out.
“Felix. Oh, god.” My voice breaks and I spasm around him as waves of ecstasy crash over me. He swallows my cries with his mouth, kissing me hard as he continues thrusting through my orgasm.
“Good girl. Ride it out. So fucking beautiful.” Each word from Felix is strained, like he’s barely holding on himself. He repeats something about needing to pull out, but his voice is muffled by my moan. All I comprehend is him retreating from me.
My legs lock around him, needing to keep him deep. “Come in me, please. I need it. I need you.”
“Harper,” he warns. “Don’t tempt me—”
My thighs squeeze tighter around him as the last of my orgasm claims me.
“Fuck,” he groans through the pleasure, trying to pull out. But then he kisses me, panting against my lips, and pushes deeper. “Shit. I’m coming. You’re mine to fuck every single day. Mine, Harper. Mine.”
Hearing Felix tell me I belong to him triggers a second and unexpected orgasm. My pussy clenches his cock harder. He spills inside me, filling me with his hot cum, right where it belongs. I can feel every pump of his release.
My legs remain locked around him, not wanting to let a single drop escape. I’ve dreamed of this moment, for Felix to mark me as his once again, claiming me in the most primal way.
We’re panting when we find stillness. With the heat of the moment over, a concern itches at me.
“I’m not on the pill—”
“Good.”
That one breathless word out of his mouth makes my lips twitch with a smile. There should be more of a conversation about our lack of protection, but we share a look that says nothing else matters except us being together.
We’ve finally come home and it feels so right.
Felix rolls us onto our side, facing each other. The moment his cock slips out of me, he pushes it back in. “You sleep with my cock inside you.”
No complaints here.
He gathers my hair and wraps it around his fist. My soul warms, remembering, loving how he used to sleep with a fist of my hair like I belonged to him.
My legs tangle with his, pressing the two of us as close as we can get. Skin to skin. Heartbeat to heartbeat. In this moment, nothing exists outside our embrace. Pain from the past melts away. All the time apart seems to disappear. It’s just us, intertwined, as it always should have been.
I fall asleep happy, knowing our relationship hasn’t been magically fixed, but that this is the first sign of hope Felix has given me in eight years.
I need his forgiveness. Then I need to fix the damage between me, Felix, and Tyler so the three of us are one again. These two men are mine, no matter if we’re together or broken up.
Felix holds me in his arms all night. Morning arrives too quickly. I smile upon waking, eager to kiss and make love to Felix again.
But I’m alone in bed.
Felix is gone, along with his clothes. There’s no sign he was ever here other than the tenderness between my legs.
My chest tightens, stinging from his absence. I’m trying not to let myself assume the worst. There has to be some explanation for his disappearance. Maybe he’s helping Dan and Ally set up for tonight’s party.
But if that were the case, why couldn’t he wake me to say goodbye or at least leave a note?
My heart sinks, fearing last night with Felix was too good to be true.
I used to tell Felix he was a mirage. After waking alone, I can’t shake the feeling that nothing has changed. He’s still an illusion on the horizon I’m desperate to touch but can never quite reach.