Chapter 19
CHAPTER 19
Holy shit. I put the journal down. Was Jackson Harry’s son? That meant that Jackson was Matt’s half-brother. This is why Harry had brought Jackson to live with them. My mind was blown away by what I had just read.
“Emily,” Jackson’s voice sounded from downstairs. I startled in shock, horrified that I was sitting on the bed, reading this private journal. I scrambled to put the journal back in the envelope, and then I dropped it back in the bottom of the box. With haste, I started to fold the clothes and shove them back in the box. I could hear Jackson coming up the stairs. He would know that I had been through this box. His packing was immaculate.
Doing the only thing I could think of, I picked up the box and dumped everything back on the bed just as he appeared at the door.
“What are you doing?” he asked, his voice sharp.
“I’m just finishing up,” I said, looking up at him, pretending not to notice the envelope that had fallen out of the box. The envelope that contained the journal that I had just read. The journal that stated he was Matt’s half-brother.
He walked towards me. He captured my face in his hands and then my world was spinning with the kiss he planted on me. I felt myself melt against him, as his fingers pushed roughly through my hair, yanking my head back.
He lifted his head. “You still pissed?”
Not after that kiss. I swear my knees wobbled. I looked up at him through my eyelashes, unable to read the expression on his face.
“Are you?”
His eyes dropped to my mouth. “Let me finish up in here. Then we can go out for dinner.”
My mind raced. He didn’t want me to see the envelope that was now lying on top of the clothes I had just dumped out. This was proof that I had crossed a line that I shouldn't have crossed. I had broken Jackson’s trust. Guilt. I should just confess that I had read it. I should tell him right there. I took a deep breath but lost my nerve.
“Okay.”
An arm around my waist yanked me hard against him. “You need to learn to finish our conversations.”
“You need to learn to give me timeouts.”
“Why?”
“Sometimes I need time to think.”
A slow smile spread across his face. “That’s fair.”
His response stunned me. I was used to Matt, who came at me so fast and furious, my only way out had been to walk out. Matt would have never agreed to give me a timeout.
“Okay,” I said warily, not quite believing him.
He dropped another kiss on my mouth. “Why don’t you go hang out with Chloe in the backyard. It’s a beautiful afternoon. I’ll be down as soon as I’m done here.”
He would remove the journal away from my prying eyes. God. Why was I such a coward? If there was ever a moment that I should tell him I read his journal, it was right now.
“Sure,” I said easily. “See you down there.”
Jackson took me to a seafood restaurant that had a big wooden balcony that overlooked the ocean.
“Tell me about private school.”
“What?” My eyes flew to his face.
“You told me once that you went to private school and you were miserable.”
“Why do you want to know?”
He tipped his beer bottle and took a sip. “Just curious.”
I looked out over the blue waves that crashed against the shore. “After my parents died, I went to live with my granny. Everything was a shock. Living in New York. Being taken away from my home, my friends, my school. My granny had a lot of connections. She got me into one of the most exclusive schools in New York.”
“What was that like?”
“Terrifying. These girls had been together since preschool. I was an outcast from the moment I arrived.”
“What happened?”
I started to shred my coaster. “It was just bad.”
He leaned forward, folding his arms on the table. Waiting for me to continue.
“They left mean notes in my locker. Gossiped about me. Mocked me.” I flushed as I remembered coming out of the gym shower in my towel and all my clothes had been taken. “Awful pranks, like really mean. Food trays in the cafeteria would accidentally get dumped on me. Any chance they could find to humiliate me, they took it.”
“Where were the teachers?”
“They looked the other way.”
“What?”
“You have to understand. These kids were the brats of congressmen, judges and high ranking lawyers. They had as much power as their parents did because of who their parents were.”
“Jesus, Em. What did your granny do when you told her?”
I took a deep breath. “I didn’t tell her. I was so devastated by my parents' death and so traumatized by everything that was going on around me, and I just endured it. She took my silence and my sadness as part of my grieving process.”
“Why didn’t you tell her?”
“I didn’t think she could do anything.”
“What happened?”
“Beth happened. She wasn’t exactly top of the food chain at that school, but she held her own. She watched and saw what was going on. She tried to befriend me, but at that point, I trusted no one. So, she started gathering evidence. Enough to incriminate the three worst ringleaders. And she went to the headmistress and made a complaint.”
“Did it stop?”
“Nope. I guess the headmistress shut her down and threatened to expel Beth.”
“No shit.”
“So, she showed up at the club where my granny played bridge and told her everything.”
His eyes widened in admiration. “I always knew I liked Beth.”
“My granny nearly lost her mind. That's when I realized just how connected my granny was. By the time she was done, the headmistress and two teachers were fired, and four of the worst perpetrators were expelled.”
“Your granny was a force.”
I nodded slowly. “She knew everything about everyone. She didn’t like to play the game, but when she did, she played it well.”
“Did you leave that school?”
“No. I graduated there. After that, I was considered hands off. No one so much as looked at me. Plus, I had Beth. After that, we became fast friends.”
He leaned back, his arms crossed. Thinking. “Beth drives a shit Corolla that is older than my truck. Why was she attending that school?”
“Beth’s dad is one of the most powerful people in New York. He’s a billionaire and incredibly connected. ”
His eyes opened wider. “And she drives a Corolla?”
“She loves her parents, but she refuses to take a single penny from either of them.”
“Why?”
“Too many strings. Her dad uses the money to control everyone and everything. Beth just got sick of it. So she made her way in life, and it drives her father crazy.”
He took another sip of his beer. “That’s the world you come from?”
I shrugged, “Not if I can help it. But I have no interest in private preschools.”
“Fair.”
The waitress dropped our plates off. We ate in silence for a while. The food was simple but delicious.
I hesitated over my question. “What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Why the Navy?”
“It was something to do.”
I lifted my shoulder, not buying it. “Something to do?”
“I came out of high school, and I couldn’t exactly stay bunked up with Matt’s parents. College was expensive. It seemed like a challenge.”
“Did you enjoy it?”
He took another sip of his beer. “Boot camp sucked.”
“So why a Navy SEAL?”
“I wanted to see if I could make it through the training.”
“What was the training?”
“First they put you through a physical prep school which is eight weeks. If you pass that, you move onto 24 weeks of basic underwater demolition/SEAL training. Three weeks of jump school, and then 26 weeks of SEAL qualification training.”
“What does that involve?”
“Why do you want to know this?”
“Just curious. ”
“In SQT, you learn weapons, close-quarter combat, demolitions, medical skills, cold weather training, survival, evasion, resistant and escape training.”
It all sounded scary and bad. “And then you are a SEAL?”
“Then we do another 18 months of individual training, unit training and then task group training.”
My stupid heart was pounding. “And then they send you to fight?”
“Emily,” he gave me a mild look.
“What does Harper do?”
There was a small flinch near his eye. “She’s part of logistics. The command center feeds us intel.”
“Does she go into the field with you?”
“Sometimes she’s part of the mobile base command center.”
Unable to stop myself, I blurted out. “She’s beautiful.”
He just looked back at me. His expression blank.
“Maybe you rushed into all of this, and you want to be with her?” I swallowed hard. “I want you to be happy. I think Alien would too.”
He crossed his arms. “I committed to you. I told you I would make this marriage work.”
I knew that he had committed to me out of obligation. I never knew how bad that would make me feel. Yet, here I was, unable to walk away from what he was offering, even though I knew that somewhere down the line, he would break my heart completely.
“I know you don’t feel the same way,” I blurted out. “I know that and I know I should leave but I can’t. Not unless you leave me first.”
He stiffened. “No one is leaving anyone.”
A long pause hung between us. I took a deep breath, “I’m sorry if my feelings make you uncomfortable.”
“Do I seem uncomfortable to you?”
“Sometimes.”
Now it was his turn to look out over the ocean. His expression preoccupied. He took another sip of his beer and looked back at me. “How’s your dinner?”