Chapter 20
CHAPTER 20
The following week passed quickly. Jackson told me that he was on standby. He said they spent their days either working out or preparing their equipment for their next deployment. I spent my days unpacking the rest of the boxes and making our house look like a home.
Had anything been resolved or magically fixed? Not even close, but we fell into an easy rhythm that reminded me of our time in New York.
One night, he drove us into Newport, the local city, and we went out for dinner and a movie. He insisted we flip a coin to decide who got to pick the film. I won the coin toss, and we ended up in a theater full of women for a chick flick. Jackson ate most of the popcorn and about 20 minutes into the movie I looked over at him, and he was asleep.
“Want to go?” I whispered.
His eyes remained shut, but a smile played on his lips. “Nope. You enjoy.”
The movie, along with my pregnancy hormones, created waterworks. I only cried harder when his big hand slipped into mine and gave it a good squeeze.
When we walked out, I enthused, “I loved that movie. It was so good.”
He laughed.
“What?” I said, feigning indignation.
“Nothing.”
But I noted that he had a smile on his face as we walked back to the truck.
Another night, he took me for ice cream. On the way home, he stopped at the paint store.
“What are we painting?” I asked, clueless.
“Alien’s room.”
“But that’s months away.”
“I’ll probably be deployed then. We should do it before I leave.”
“Oh,” I said. His thoughtful gesture was doing wild things to my heart, squeezing it so tight, it almost hurt. “Good idea.”
“Which one do you like?” Jackson held up two blue chips.
“You think we’re having a boy?”
His head reared back in mock horror. “You think Alien is a girl?”
“There’s a fifty percent chance Alien is a girl.”
“No way.” He was confident.
“Hmm,” I had an idea. “What's your favorite childhood story?”
Instantly his expression took on a wary look. “Why?”
It dawned on me that maybe Jackson had never been read to as a child. “I just thought I would paint a mural on the wall.”
His smile slowly spread across his face. “Alien gets his own mural?”
“We could do Winnie the Pooh, Peter Rabbit, The Jungle Book…” my voice trailed off as I tried to manage this conversation di plomatically. “Why don’t I find some children’s books and then we can decide.”
He had a faraway gaze as he struggled to recall his memory. “My mom used to read me this book…there was this little bear and the bear family wore old-fashioned clothes. There was a grandma and grandpa bear.”
Pain reflected in his green eyes before he turned away.
I worked to keep my emotions inside of me. “I know that series well. Those are beautiful books.”
His voice sounded conflicted. “I haven’t thought about that story in years.”
“You remember your mom?”
“That’s my vote for a mural,” he said as he moved away towards the paint brushes.
My only concern was the fact that Jackson came to bed after I was asleep and left the house hours before I got up. Without the dent in his pillow, I wouldn’t know that he slept in the same bed. Everything was so tentative and fragile between us. I didn’t know what to do. Did he only want Harper now that he had seen her? Was I too inexperienced for him? The whole thing baffled me, but I had no framework in which to deal with it. I started going to bed naked in hopes that he would take the hint, but nothing changed.
I woke up, curled up against Jackson’s naked chest, my hand on his hard abs. I lifted my head. He was lying beside me, on top of the covers, with only a towel wrapped around his waist. He was dead to the world.
My hand flattened to spread over the smooth, hard muscles of his stomach. He had the most beautiful skin. My hand moved in one slow circle. I could feel his even breath rise and fall beneath my hand.
I peeked up at him. He was very much asleep. Whenever we had sex it was crazy, intense and I was usually so blown away, I never really had the chance to explore him. Feeling like I was taking advantage of him, I did another slow circle over his skin, this time, moving my hand a bit farther down.
The first night I had arrived, Jackson had come to our bed and woken me up in the most intimate of ways. My breath was slightly uneven as I contemplated returning the favor. The problem was, I had never given a blowjob before. What if I did it wrong? What if he didn’t get turned on? I lifted my head and moved the towel over a smidgen. His member was there for the taking, right in front of me. I moved my head closer, pausing to make sure he was still asleep. Something dangerous was throbbing in the pit of my stomach. I wanted to try this.
I lifted his length gently up in one hand, and tentatively put my tongue on it. It felt smooth. I closed my mouth around the tip, uncertain about how to proceed. I swirled my tongue around it and liked how silky it felt. I was careful as I explored with my mouth. My eyes widened as I felt it begin to grow more firm. I sucked more of him into my mouth, using my tongue and lips to play with it delicately. The bigger and stiffer it became, the more my own body responded. My stomach fluttered as a familiar yearning inflamed my body. I incorporated swallowing into my new found act. Loving that he was now fully erect and straining against my mouth.
Jackson’s hips jerked up, driving him further into my mouth as two big hands wrapped around my head, holding me down. I froze, my eyes wide as his huge girth practically choked me.
“Emily?” Jackson’s voice sounded strained, as his hands released my head.
I lifted my mouth off him.
My voice was small. “Yeah? ”
He sat up, and then I was being hauled over on top of him, so I straddled him.
“What are you doing?” he was out of breath.
“Nothing.” I lied.
“You looking for something?”
“No.”
His fingers slid between my legs.
“Did you like doing that?”
“Maybe.” I moaned as his fingers teased me.
“Seems like you more than liked it. Did that turn you on?”
“Can’t you tell?”
His teeth nipped at my bottom lip. “I want to hear you say it.”
I arched as one big hand slid up over my breast, strong fingers pinching my nipple. “It turned me on.”
“Were you looking for this?” his big hands on my hips lifted me up and guided me. I felt his hugeness butt against my core.
My head fell back, and I moaned as my yielding body slid down over his huge girth.
“Oh, I think someone likes it when I pull them onto my…”
“Jackson!” I interrupted, slightly scandalized.
He laughed, breathless. “Tell me you like it.”
My hips jerked, demanding that he start to move. He held me in place. “Say it.”
My breath was erratic. “I like it.”
“Oh, I think you more than like it,” his voice was low. “But there are consequences when my little wife wakes me up in the middle of the night.”
My entire body shuddered in response as he pulled me harder down on him.
“What do you mean?” my eyes squeezed shut as his mouth found my hard nipple. Shocks of pleasure rippled down my spine.
“It means we do this my way.”
I gasped as he flipped me over, so I was suddenly on my hands and knees. I felt him move behind me and then his knee pushed my legs apart.
Big hands held my hips, and I whimpered with longing as he slowly invaded me from behind. My eyes widened in shock as intense sensations flooded my body. It felt so good I almost couldn’t think.
My entire world became incandescent as he began to thrust into me slowly. My hands clenched the duvet as he invaded me with slow ravishing strokes.
“Why is this your way?” I gasped, thinking I wouldn’t mind this being my way too.
Big hands gathered my hair and then he was gently tugging my head back with my hair. My back arched.
“Because sometimes, I just want to be in charge,” he said, tugging my head back further. I groaned, shamelessly loving his erotic restraint.
I felt fingertips slide sensually down my spine, while he slowly pushed in and out of me.
“And sometimes I just want to fuck.”
My body trembled. I wanted that too. Oh did I want that. “Me too.”
He laughed. “Really.”
“Yeah.” My eyes squeezed shut, and it felt like my insides were molten. It felt so different in this position. Searing heat and throbbing greed consumed me.
“Say it.”
At this point, I would say just about anything. “I just want to fuck.”
He laughed again. “I think you mean, that you want to get fucked.”
“That too.”
“You sure?”
Wasn’t that what we were doing? “Yeah.”
That wasn’t what we had been doing.
Suddenly he was driving into me with blindingly raw thrusts. It was like he turned the volume up to max. I couldn’t think, I could only feel. My world went hazy, as he held my hips in place, moving at an addictive pace. Crazy wild sounds were coming out of me. I was in some delicious wicked trance. He was relentless. My entire body worked to brace against his glorious assault. He was rock hard, and I was soft, he was savage, and I was pliant, he invaded, and I surrendered. My climax hit me with such ferocity that I almost blacked out. I writhed as a thin scream escaped out of me. His hands dropped to my hips, holding me in place, so he could continue to drive into me. My face was buried in the blankets, my body convulsing around him. It felt exquisite.
“Oh fuck, I’m fucking coming,” he ground out, as he crushed up into me, his hips jerking hard. We poised there for a long, carnal moment, as he twitched inside of me.
Shaking legs gave up, and I collapsed forward in a heap, unable to catch my breath. He landed beside me, on his back.
“How’s Alien?” he asked, breathing as hard as I was.
“Absolutely perfect,” I gasped, my body shaking with aftershocks.
“So?” I could hear the question in his voice.
I tried to focus my vision. “I think we should do it your way all the time.”
He laughed. “That’s called the SEAL way.”
“I’m completely on board.”