Chapter 46
CHAPTER 46
I was walking towards Matt’s room when Irene appeared out of nowhere and grabbed my arm.
“Where were you?”
Even though I had done my best to cover the bruises with makeup, I instinctively touched my neck.
“Hi, Irene.”
Her eyes bore into me. “Thanks to you, Matt had two difficult nights. What did I tell you about not upsetting him?”
I swallowed the fear down my throat. I had spent an entire hour practicing telling Matt that we could no longer get married. If he couldn’t handle me going missing for a day and a half, how would he take this news?
"The doctors are worried about the blood vessels in his brain. Remember that," she hissed.
I hated this . How long would I be trapped in this charade?
I folded. “I promise I won’t upset him.”
In his room, Matt flirted with a cute nurse.
“Hey, there's my girl,” his smile brightened when I walked into the room.
I pasted a smile on my face. “Hey there.”
By some unspoken consent, Matt and I did not broach the subject of Jackson or the penthouse. Nor did I mention that I had gotten attacked the day before. I certainly didn’t mention that I had moved into the penthouse. Instead, we chatted about non-events, like how his roommate had gone home, and how the fire alarm had gone off twice yesterday. He also mused that he thought we should add ten people to the guest list for our wedding.
Each night I returned alone to the penthouse. To make myself feel better, I alternated between lying on top of both Jackson’s bed and my granny’s. I practiced countless renditions of telling Matt that it was over and telling Jackson that I was pregnant with his child. I barfed two mornings in a row. I made an appointment to see my GP, and the rest of the time I sat listlessly on the patio lost in my thoughts.
The shock of being pregnant wore off and the reality set in. Every conversation that Jackson had told me that he didn’t want children, I replayed in my head. I looked for any faint clue that he might have been on the fence about the subject and came back to the conclusion that he was certain that he did not want kids. He did not want a family. He did not want a wife.
Financially, the baby and I would have no problems, but the more I contemplated being a single mom, the more scared I got. How was I going to cope? How would I make all those scary decisions myself? I could barely take care of myself, so why did I think I could take care of a child?
I was sure that Jackson would want nothing to do with us. And I was even more certain that the moment he found out, he would disappear. It was an understatement to say that I dreaded telling him .
I told no one. Instead, I went back, day after day, to the hospital and pretended that I was the happy and blissful fiancée of Matt. I chatted about the wedding with him. Watched TV with him in the big chair beside his bed. I wheeled him down to the cafeteria for lunch one day and dinner the next. The rest of the time I mentally counted down to Friday, the day that Jackson would return.
On Friday, I spent an inordinate amount of time on my hair and make-up. I even put on a skirt. Jackson hadn't indicated when his flight was, so I procrastinated going to the hospital hoping that he would show up before I left.
Finally, mid-afternoon, I headed to the hospital. Matt’s door was propped open, and I could hear laughter. Matt and Irene. Tension left my shoulders. If both of them were in a good mood, it would mean that we'd have a good day.
I stepped into the room and stopped short. Jackson sat on the chair beside Matt's bed, and Irene perched on the end of Matt’s bed. Matt, unaware of my arrival, laughed at something.
Only Jackson saw me. His gaze flicked to me, but he smiled at Matt’s story. I swallowed as I noticed the faded jeans that hugged his hips so perfectly and a basic grey t-shirt stretched over his chest. I think my heart was trying to pound out of my chest.
Had I stepped into some alternative universe? How was it possible that Jackson was included back into the family fold when they had shunned him a couple of weeks ago?
Matt turned his head, and his smile was huge. “Emily.”
My face felt frozen in shock. “Hi.”
Irene avoided my glance, but Jackson pinned me with his green gaze.
“I had the most amazing idea,” Matt said, waving me over. “You’re going to love it.”
“Don’t keep me in suspense. ”
“I know you're stressing about walking up the aisle by yourself and then I had the most brilliant idea. I asked Jackson, and he agreed.”
I gave Matt a double take. “He agreed to what?”
“Jackson agreed to walk you down the aisle.”
I stared dumbly at the group. My first instinct was to flee. I physically had to restrain myself from backing out of the room. “He did?”
“I, for one, think it’s a brilliant idea. Nothing would thrill me more,” Irene jumped in.
I turned my stupid expression to her. “You do?”
“Look at her face, look how much I surprised her,” Matt laughed. “This is priceless.”
My numb lips barely moved. “How did this come about?”
“I texted Jackson and asked him. He immediately wrote back and said yes. And the rest is history. Did you know that he was in Virginia this week?”
My throat worked convulsively to swallow. “You don’t say.”
I looked at Jackson, and he stared back at me, his expression blank.
“Come on. We’ve been waiting for you to show up. We want to go down to the cafeteria to grab dinner.”
Irene rushed to get the wheelchair while Matt unsteadily got to his feet. Jackson stood up, and Matt reached out to grab his arm. With his recent weight loss, Matt looked diminutive next to Jackson’s huge frame.
I watched as Jackson wheeled Matt down to the cafeteria. It was a weird de ja vu moment. Matt talked a mile a minute, and Jackson listened silently. Matt laughed as Jackson dipped the wheelchair back and tilted it, so he was riding on only one wheel.
“Want to tell me what happened?” I asked Irene, who walked beside me .
“I have no idea what you are talking about.”
We finished dinner. Irene returned to the hotel and Jackson, Matt and I watched a rerun of Law and Order. My mind spun in a hundred different directions.
Irene had kicked Jackson out of the hospital and said that he wasn’t part of their family. Matt had demanded that I kick Jackson out of the penthouse and told me that he was not welcome in our lives. Now they both rolled out the red carpet for him. What baffled me, even more, was that Jackson was open to such overtures. Why would he let them treat him so poorly? It made no sense. Jackson didn't tolerate bullshit. Yet, he willingly participated in this insincere family drama. The more I thought about it, the more pissed I got.
Irene and Matt acted so selfishly. And Jackson just took it. Is this how they treated him when he was a kid? Had he been on the receiving end of such hot and cold treatment his entire life? I almost couldn’t contain my rage. I wanted to hurt Matt, but I wanted to hurt Irene more. My heart ached for Jackson who Matt privately referred to as “the charity case.” No wonder Jackson didn’t want a family. He had the worst luck of any person when it came to families. Even the family who supposedly rescued him abused him on some level. It took all my emotional control to sit there and not lose my shit.
The nurse came in and told us that visiting hours were over.
“Jack, can you make sure my girl here gets to her car safe? I would do it myself, but I'm pretty sure if something happened she would need to protect me, not the other way around,” Matt joked.
The joke fell flat in light of what had happened only a week earlier, but Jackson took the request seriously. “You bet.”
I walked to the door without looking back at Matt.
“Hey,” he called after me, probably wondering why I wasn’t saying a proper good night.
I ignored his call and started to walk rapidly down the wide hospital corridor.
Jackson caught up with me and walked easily beside me. We rode the elevator in silence, and when the door slid open I took off towards the big sliding glass doors, not caring if he kept up with me or not. Why would he let Irene and Matt treat him like a second-class citizen? He acted like everything was normal, but that was the farthest thing from the truth. I needed to get away from him. Clear my head. I couldn’t speak to him about it right now. I knew whatever would come out would be all wrong.
“Are you parked in the parking lot?”
“The overflow lot, but I can walk there myself.”
“Show me.”
We walked out into the fresh night air. I was so angry, I couldn’t speak.
“Something you want to say?”
“No,” I said tersely.
He walked me to my car and without saying a word I got in and started my car. I didn’t offer to drive him back to his truck. In fact, I didn’t even give him a second glance as I peeled out of the lot. I needed to get away from everyone. I needed time to think and calm down. I certainly didn’t need him following me home.
I was two blocks away when suddenly a big ass grill showed up in my review mirror.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I yelled at no one in particular. I debated trying to lose him but realized that with my inability to change lanes without shoulder checking, there was no way I would ever manage that. Instead, I hunched over my steering wheel seething at the injustice that Irene and Matt bestowed on Jackson.