Chapter 14
fourteen
. . .
Gracie
Melody was excited about being here for the Fourth of July, because the celebrations were endless this weekend.
This town of ours loved any reason to throw a party, and tourists were out in droves.
We’d gone to country music night at Down by the Bay, and the place was going off.
It was packed with all the locals mixed with all the tourists who were currently here for the holiday weekend, and to spend time on the lake.
Blue Sky did not take holiday weekends lightly.
The entire town was decorated with red, white, and blue ribbons wrapped around all the streetlights on Bay Avenue, and red flower baskets hung from up above.
We’d just watched an amazing fireworks show, and now we were out on the dance floor having a good time.
I’d learned my lesson a few weeks ago, so I was not drinking shots tonight. Melody and Jovi were having a good time drinking, and Tatum and I were sticking to beer this time around.
My gaze kept moving to where Cutler sat back at the table. I swear the man didn’t need to move off his barstool, and women just flocked to him.
It had always been that way.
He rubbed his hand over his jaw, and I had a flashback of the feel of his scruff between my thighs. It was all I’d thought about over the last few weeks.
His head tipped back with laughter when Sydney said something to him as she sat on the stool across from him.
And I had this sudden, overpowering urge to walk over and interrupt them.
I hated this weird jealousy that I was feeling.
His words last night just before Melody arrived were playing on repeat in my head.
Having you come on my lips was the highlight of my year. And watching you take my cock between your lips was a close second.
He’d also said he had no desire to be with anyone else right now, which had caught me off-guard. I was terrified that I’d made him uncomfortable, but apparently, he was totally fine with what we’d done.
He was a guy who was used to casual relationships.
I was the one with all the hang-ups.
Tatum bumped into me when she shifted to the right. I quickly pulled myself out of my daze and moved along with the group as Tyler Childers belted out lyrics about whiskey easing his pain and everyone sang along.
Jovi and Melody were completely off the beat, which made me laugh.
When the song came to an end, Tatum hooked her arm through mine as we walked off the dance floor. It was a perfect night, with warm weather and a light breeze moving around us.
“Don’t worry about Cutler. He’s not interested in Sydney,” Tatum said as she leaned close to my ear, making sure no one else heard her. “I’ve watched her try time and time again ever since she and her ex broke up, and he never bites. I think he only sees her as a friend.”
I startled at her words. “I wasn’t worried. He’s my best friend. He can do whatever he wants. I’ve seen him with plenty of women over the years.”
She studied me for a long moment. “So you’d be fine if he went home with her?”
A pit settled in my stomach, and I pushed the thought away. “Of course I would.”
“Oh, okay. I thought I was picking up on something, but maybe I misread it.” She pulled out her stool, and I took the seat beside her. My gaze moved around the table to see Sydney standing between Cutler’s legs, her hand on his chest.
Why did that bother me?
I had no right to be bothered.
I shook it off and took a sip of my beer as Melody came up and leaned her head on my shoulder. “I had too much to drink. I think I’m going to be sick.”
I pushed to my feet, reaching for my crossbody purse. “I’ve got you. Can you make the walk home?”
“Yes. I just think I probably need to leave now so I don’t hurl in front of everyone.”
I nodded. “Let me just tell Cutler.”
I walked over to him and stood beside his stool, feeling like I was intruding on a moment.
“Hey, sorry to interrupt—” I cleared my throat, and he turned to look at me, a lazy smile on his face. “I’m going to get Melody home. She’s had a little too much to drink and she’s not feeling great. Just wanted you to know.”
“I can come with you,” he said as he started to move, but Sydney put her hand on his chest.
“You promised me a dance, Cutler Heart. They are two grown women—I’m sure they can walk a block or two alone,” Sydney said before wincing when she looked at me. “No offense.”
“None taken. She’s right, enjoy yourself. We’re totally fine on our own.” I held my hand up to wave, and I saw the struggle in his eyes, but he nodded.
He’d had more to drink tonight than he’d had since I’d been back. I’d felt like he was a little distant this morning, and I think whether he wanted to admit it or not, the things Melody had said last night had affected him.
And tonight, he was going to drink and have a good time and probably go home with Sydney to prove a point that he was fine with the way that he lived his life.
And maybe he was.
We all wanted different things, and that was okay.
But I wasn’t going to lie—I didn’t love seeing Cutler with a woman.
I really never had.
Even when I’d been in relationships, I’d always felt a weird heaviness in my chest whenever I’d see him leave a bar with a woman. It was selfish and it made no sense, but I’d never liked it.
I said a quick goodbye to everyone, and Tatum, Jovi, and I made plans to meet for lunch tomorrow.
“Come on, Drunkody,” I said as I wrapped an arm around Melody, and we started walking home.
“Drunkody!” Her head fell back with a laugh. “I’m going to regret this tomorrow when I have to drive home, aren’t I?”
“You’re still young enough that you will probably rebound just fine.” I chuckled as we walked along the dirt path along Blue Sky Lake.
“I hope you’re right,” she said with a sigh. “Do you think Cutler will go home with Sydney?”
Her words were slurring a bit as we walked toward the door. “Probably.”
“I heard her call him out, and she was irritated, but I guess she got over it.” She followed me inside the house, and I filled a large glass with water and grabbed her some Tylenol.
“Called him out for what?” I asked.
“Let’s have leftover pizza. I’m hungry, and I’ll fill you in,” Melody said as she hopped up on the stool at the island.
I pulled out the leftover pizza and put a slice on a paper plate and popped it in the microwave for her. “She can’t be too bothered, because she was all over him.”
“Well, I think that’s the problem.” She leaned forward with this goofy smirk on her face. “She’s. All. Over. Him.”
I chuckled at her theatrics as I gave her a hot slice of pizza, popped one in the microwave for me, and dropped to sit on the stool beside her. “That’s not unusual for Cutler.”
“Well, she noticed that he’s not all over her.” She groaned after taking a bite. “This is what I needed.”
“This will help your hangover too. It’s good to get food in your stomach.”
“Good point. Anyhoo,” she said as she reached for her water bottle, and her gaze locked with mine, “remember when I went back to the table to ask Cutler to order me and Jovi another shot?”
“Yes. The one that probably put the final nail in your coffin,” I said with a laugh. I grabbed my slice from the microwave when it dinged.
“True. But my point is…she was giving him a hard time that he kept watching you on the dance floor, and his eyes should’ve been on her.
” Melody tossed her hands in the air, all fiery and bothered.
“If I’m with a man and he’s watching another woman, I’m not demanding his eyes be on me.
I’m walking the hell away because his eyes aren’t on me. ”
My chest pounded a little faster at the thought of him watching me, but I played it off. “She’s being ridiculous. He was not watching me. And we were all out on the dance floor, so how does she know who he was watching?”
“Well, from what I heard before I walked away, she felt like he’d been watching you all night, and she made it sound like it wasn’t the first time.” She shrugged as she pushed off her barstool. “He always has been slightly obsessed with you. He was such a sad sack when you moved to Paris.”
We finished eating our slices, and I stood and carried our plates to the trash.
“He’s my best friend. I missed him too. I can’t believe that I actually thought Gabriel was going to be my person, you know?” I shook my head, still stunned by how badly everything had gone.
“Maybe your actual person has been right under your nose all along,” Melody said, the booze still making her words slur slightly.
I didn’t comment.
Most people didn’t understand my relationship with Cutler.
I didn’t care, because it worked for us.
“Let’s get you to bed, Drunkody,” I chuckled, and her head fell back with loud laughter as I walked her down to the opposite side of the house to the guest room.
After we got her changed and her teeth brushed, I set a glass of water beside her bed, and I swear she was already snoring when I turned the light off and pulled the door closed.
I made my way to my room and took a quick bath, then tied my hair on top of my head before slipping into my pajamas. I glanced at my phone to see it was after midnight and Cutler wasn’t home. He might not be coming home at all.
I cringed at the thought as I slipped beneath the covers.
What if he brought Sydney home with him?
What if I heard them having sex?
Now my stomach wrenched.
I didn’t close my door, because we never slept with our doors closed and I wanted to hear him come in.
I blocked out all those thoughts of Cutler and Sydney together and squeezed my eyes closed.
But I was wide awake, my mind reeling from what Melody had shared with me.
And that’s when I heard the door open and close, and heavy feet coming down the hallway.
No way he could have slept with her that quickly.
Well, if he was like my college boyfriend, Carter, it would’ve been possible.
I chuckled internally at the thought, because I knew Cutler wasn’t that guy.
I kept my eyes closed, pretending to be asleep when I heard his feet stop moving outside my door.
“You awake, Jeege?” he whispered as his footsteps came closer, and I could feel him bend down beside my bed. “Did I wake you?”
I chuckled and opened my eyes. “No, but it’s not for lack of effort.”
He smelled like whiskey, and he had a goofy smile on his face highlighted by the little bit of light from the moon coming through the sliver in the blinds on the window.
“I wanted to leave when you left.” I could tell that he was drunk by the way his words slurred.
“We were fine. Did you have fun with Sydney?” I asked, feeling my throat tighten as the words left my mouth, because I wasn’t sure I could handle his response right now.
It made no sense that I was feeling this way, but we’d entered a gray area, and I was trying to work through it without making things weird.
“No. I told you I don’t want anyone else. And fuck, I tried. I tried to get into it. I’m just going through something,” he said, and I could hear the struggle in his voice.
I sprang forward, putting my hand on his cheek. “Hey. It’s okay, Bear. You don’t have to try to do anything. I’m not forcing myself to like anyone right now either.”
“I missed you when you left.”
“I missed you too. But we only left about forty minutes ago,” I chuckled.
“I meant when you were in Paris. And I guess I meant tonight too. I like you being here, Jeege.” He shifted where he was squatting beside the bed and fell down on his ass, laughing in the process.
“You’re drunk. Let me get you to bed.” I sat up and tossed my legs over the side.
“Can I sleep in here with you? I don’t want to be alone tonight.” He had this lazy smile on his face that was so sexy I had to squeeze my thighs together in response.
“Of course you can. It’s not like we haven’t slept in the same bed hundreds of times.
You just shared a bed with me in Paris.” I leaned down and pulled off his boots, one at a time, before extending my hand to him and pulling him to his feet.
He walked around the bed, and I lifted the covers and he climbed in. He was fully clothed.
This wasn’t weird at all.
We were best friends.
So why did it suddenly feel so hot in here?
I moved to the other side of the bed and climbed in, rolling on my side to face him.
“I never want to lose you, Jeege,” he said in a slurred whisper.
“You never will.”
“I hated being so far away from you.” His hand moved to my hip.
“I’m right here.” I scooched closer, loving the feel of his big, warm body against mine.
“Do you know what I like to fall asleep dreaming about?” he asked.
“Tell me.”
But the sound of his breaths told me he wasn’t going to finish that thought.
He was already asleep.
And I closed my eyes and breathed him in as sleep took me.