Chapter 15
fifteen
. . .
Cutler
I opened my eyes to see Gracie sound asleep beside me. Lucky for me, I rarely got hangovers.
She stirred the slightest bit beside me. Her long hair was in a knot on top of her head, with long black lashes framing her closed eyes. Her lips looked like pink rosebuds, and the strap of her white pajama top had slipped down her arm, exposing her golden skin.
My chest squeezed as I took her in.
Goddamn, I loved this girl.
I climbed out of bed and pulled her bedroom door closed behind me. I looked up to see Melody at the end of the hallway, coming toward me with a cup of coffee.
The big smile on her face made it clear that she’d noted what room I’d just stepped out of. “Well, good morning to you, BC.”
I chuckled, keeping my voice low. “It’s not what you think.”
She handed me the coffee mug. “This was for Gracie, because I assumed you spent the night out. But obviously, you did not.”
“Get your mind out of the gutter,” I said as I followed her down the hallway toward the kitchen. “I slept with my clothes on. I came home drunk, and we were talking and I fell asleep in there. It’s not like we haven’t shared a bed many times.”
But that was all before I buried my head between her thighs a few weeks ago.
And now that was consuming my thoughts day and night.
The way she’d looked while down on her knees with her lips wrapped around me.
The little groans she’d made before she came on my tongue.
Her dark eyes sated as she’d met my gaze, her lips parted the slightest bit, before a lazy smile settled on her face.
Fuck me.
This was my best friend, and I was currently doing everything in my power to stick to the plan. I never wanted to do anything to mess up our friendship. The ball was in her court, and she was making the rules right now, and I needed to respect that.
“You’re very lucky I’m currently fighting the worst headache, or I’d have a lot more questions for you.” She moved to sit on a barstool, and I took the one next to her.
“You can ask me anything. There are no secrets here. You’re reading into it.”
“Okay, I’ve got a marching band currently performing a full concert in my head, and I need to get on the road because I have a meeting later this afternoon in the city.
But I’ll leave you with this to ponder,” she said, taking the last sip of her coffee and walking her mug to the sink.
“Do you think there’s a possibility that the reason you don’t have any desire to hook up with other women is because your best friend is here in town? Could those two things be related?”
“I’m proud of you, Mel. You’re an impressive therapist. Clearly you’re always working.
” I chuckled. “And of course the two could be related. I missed my best friend. So much so that I wasn’t even going out when she was living in Paris.
This isn’t new—it started months ago. And now that she’s here and staying with me, why would I want to go out when I can hang with her? It’s really not that deep.”
“Keep telling yourself that, BC.” She came around the island and kissed my cheek. “I’m going to go jump in the shower. Love you.”
“Love you,” I said as she disappeared down the hallway, leaving me with my thoughts.
I sat there sipping my coffee and thinking about my night.
Sydney had offered me a no-strings-attached night in her bed.
An offer I normally wouldn’t have been opposed to.
But I couldn’t do it.
I couldn’t fucking do it.
I didn’t want to.
I’d wanted to get home. Where I knew Gracie would be.
I didn’t know what the fuck any of it meant. I knew that she was my best friend. I knew that we had crossed a line. And I knew that I wanted to do it again.
I was self-aware enough to know that I was going through something, and it was making me look differently at my life.
This was Gracie.
I could say anything to her.
I was going to talk to her. Maybe she was feeling the same thing I was feeling.
“Bear!” she yelled, and I heard her feet running down the hall.
I turned on my stool as she lunged right into my arms.
“You are not going to believe this,” she said, stepping back with a big smile on her face as Melody came running out of the room because she’d obviously heard the excitement.
“What’s going on?” Melody and I asked at the same time.
Gracie held up her phone. “I had a missed call from Johnny this morning, so I just called him back.”
“What did he say?” I reached for my coffee and took a sip when she stepped back.
“They just signed a huge client that he’s been telling me they were dying to sign.
Apparently, he bought two huge condos in a high-rise, and he wants to knock the walls down and make it one big place,” she said, shaking her head with disbelief.
“Well, he not only signed with J&J, but they also gave him the links for all the designers in the New York office, and they included mine because this project won’t start until the beginning of October. And guess who he chose?”
“Could it be you?” I asked, my voice laced with teasing.
“It’s me. He picked me.” She had the biggest smile on her face, and it was a reminder that she was leaving, and she was excited about it.
“That’s my girl. Already have your first client and you aren’t even there yet.”
“So proud of you,” Melody said as she locked eyes with me, and I forced a smile. I’d never do anything to dim Gracie’s light.
I pushed to my feet and wrapped my arms around her. “Congrats, Jeege. This is amazing news.”
Melody came over and pushed her way into the hug. “I can’t wait to come visit so we can live our Sex and the City dreams. You are going to crush it in the Big Apple, Gracie girl!”
We all laughed, but mine felt forced.
Because now I definitely wouldn’t be telling her about the way I’d been feeling.
That would just confuse her.
And I wasn’t a selfish prick. Not where she was concerned.
Another week had gone by, and I’d been swamped at work.
Gracie had taken on a few more jobs with our clients, because Blue Sky Bay was a small town and word traveled fast.
Everyone knew she was doing design for ROD Construction temporarily, and they all wanted her guidance.
She was busy with my family’s home (which was moving along quickly), the Petersons’ place, and a few small jobs for local homeowners who wanted to do updates on different rooms in their houses.
We grabbed a late lunch at the Cozy Griddle to talk about all the projects we had going. We ate burgers and shared a milkshake before Gracie dragged me to an antique store in town for some pieces for the Peterson project.
“This is what I’ll miss most when I leave for New York,” Gracie said as she perused the back of the large store. Personally, I’d never come in here before now. I knew Wanda Waters, the woman who owned the place, but antiquing wasn’t really my thing.
“Not me? You’re going to miss Wanda’s antiques?” I laughed as I reached for the very aged cowboy hat sitting on a table and placed it on my head.
“Of course I’ll miss you most.” She paused to meet my gaze. “But I’m talking about design. It’s a different vibe there. Modern. Sophisticated. It’s cool and chic and I love it, but my heart is truly in this sort of old-world style with lots of history and character pieces.”
So then don’t leave.
It wasn’t a crime to think it. It was a crime to say it out loud.
But I could think it as much as I wanted to.
“You’ll be fine. You’ll be the queen of sophisticated design.”
“I can adapt to any type of design. But designing a style that you connect with is always the most fun. That was the whole point of owning my own business when I moved to Paris. I could take on my own style, you know? But this is the next-best thing, so it’s a step in the right direction.
” She reached for a mask on the table, and she glanced around to make sure no one was looking.
I chuckled. Obviously no one was looking, because we were the only people in the place, aside from Wanda, who was currently out front taking a smoke break.
She pulled the mask over her eyes, and I kid you not, my dick went rock hard at the sight of Gracie wearing a sexy-as-shit black cat mask.
She picked up the whip beside it and swung it around.
“What kind of antiques store is this?” she asked with a wicked grin on her face.
“The kind I actually like. In fact, let’s take two to go. This is my new favorite store.” I tugged her close and rubbed my scruff on her neck as her head fell back in a fit of laughter.
She peeled the cat mask away and set it on the table before putting the whip beside it.
“I actually wanted to talk to you about something,” she said as she bit her bottom lip.
I took the hat off my head and set it on the table. “What’s up?”
“Well, I’m leaving at the end of September, right?”
Don’t fucking remind me.
“Yes. I’m excited for you.” I crossed my arms over my chest.
“Are you excited to get your house back to yourself?”
“You know I love having you there.” I kept my voice even, making sure I hid all the things I was feeling about her plans to go to New York.
“So, here’s the thing, Bear.” She stepped closer. “You’re in a weird place, right? It may or may not have something to do with me shacking up with you and making you uncomfortable to bring women home, but either way, you haven’t been dating or seeing anyone.”
“Correct. And I’m good with that.”
“Well, I had all these plans for a fling, but there just isn’t anyone I’m interested in.”
Ouch. Tell me how you really feel.
“Slim pickings here, huh?”
“I mean, I told you that night on the boat that no one else makes me feel anything, outside of you. You know, because of our connection.”
“Right. It’s a strong connection,” I reminded her.
“And I’m leaving in a few months, and this was sort of my time to, hmmm…explore things.” She cleared her throat.
“And so far you haven’t gotten to explore more than my lips between your thighs,” I said, my voice teasing.
Her eyes went wide once again, and I fucking loved how easy it was to get her all flustered.
“Be serious, Bear.” She swiped her tongue out along her bottom lip, and I couldn’t help but stare at her mouth.
“Continue,” I said.
“What if we extended our deal. You know, we’re already living together, which makes it very convenient. We’re both always home at night, so it’s not like we’re seeing anyone else. Unless you are and you aren’t telling me?”
“When would I be doing that? Of course I’m not.” I shrugged, keeping my voice even, though my heart rate spiked at the suggestion to extend our deal.
It shocked me that she wondered if I was hooking up with anyone else. It was obvious that she didn’t have a clue how fucking difficult it had been for me to be sleeping across the hall from her, wanting her the way I did.
“So we could maybe agree to continuing with Operation Exploration,” she said, her cheeks turning a darker shade of pink than usual. “And if you decide you want to see other women, we just end the agreement immediately, because that’s where we’d run into problems.”
Other women?
When I was with Gracie, no one else even existed. I didn’t think about anyone else. Only her.
“Let me make sure I’m understanding the agreement. We can fool around, like a friends-with-benefits type of thing, as long as neither of us are seeing other people? Because that works both ways.”
“That’s not a problem for me. You’re the one with a shorter attention span.” Her eyebrows shot up playfully, but I wasn’t paying attention to her teasing at the moment.
“I assure you my attention is focused on you right now. And that means I’m all in. And for you? No other men,” I said, voice low, deliberate. “Not while I have this time with you. When I’m with you, I want all of you—every kiss, every touch, every taste, every inch. You’re mine…for now.”
My God, even saying it didn’t quiet the image of her in my mind.
Her lips parted, her chest rising and falling. “So we could do this for as long as we feel like it’s working, and when I move away, we just pretend it never happened and go back to being besties without the benefits.”
“Fair enough. But I have some stipulations,” I said, reaching for the whip on the table and running it along the inside of her thigh as she sucked in a breath.
“Tell me,” she whispered.
“Tits and lips. I want both.” My eyes roved over her chest, trailing slowly up to her mouth.
“What does that mean?” she asked, words strained and breathless.
“It means that I want to kiss you. I can’t fool around without kissing. It’s not intimate.” My hands flexed as I fought the urge to pull her close and kiss her right here, right now.
“I thought that was the point?” she asked as she bit her bottom lip.
“Well, we’re changing the rules. And this is a deal-breaker for me.” I met her gaze head-on. “I get to kiss you when we’re together.”
I moved the point of the whip higher up beneath her denim skirt and stroked along her core as she gasped. “Okay. We can kiss when you want to. As long as you don’t think it will make things weird between us.”
“Gracie. We’re in an antiques store, negotiating our friends-with-benefits contract, while I’m stroking a whip between your thighs. I’d say we passed ‘weird’ when we walked through the door.”
“Fair enough. So kissing is on the table. And what is it that you want with my boobs?” she asked, a little moan escaping her lips when I used the edge of the whip to stroke her clit.
I already knew the answer to that question.
Because I’d be eating Gracie Reynolds’s pussy for dinner if we could get these terms ironed out.
“It’s open season with your tits. I get to see them. Kiss them. Lick them. Fuck them.” I pulled the whip from between her thighs and moved it to her breasts, where I circled each of her perfect tits.
Again, with her mouth dropping open.
And she clearly noted the expression on my face, because she clamped it closed immediately.
“Okay. Deal. But I think we should keep sex off the table. That might be pushing things too far. But maybe we decide as we go on that one?” she asked, her voice husky and laced with need.
“We can leave it off the table for now. We’ve got plenty to work with.” I leaned forward, speaking against her ear. “Let’s go.”
She nodded, her gaze lingering on my hand when I set the whip down.