Chapter 17
The week passes quickly and quietly while Hendrix helps me with physical therapy. I feel much stronger even if I’m still slow. I’m not relying on the cane anymore. Progress.
I wish I could say the same for my memory. As much as I want to know who I am, part of me is afraid to chase the shadows at the edges of my mind. What if I can’t face the truth and what’s real? Remembering will be a blessing and a curse.
I’ll lose my sister all over again and feel the full weight of grief from the beginning. But I can’t fight what I don’t know. And the fact remains, someone out there killed her and tried to kill me. They’re still watching and biding their time to strike again. I can feel it in my bones.
“Hey, London.”
Hendrix walks into the bathroom and stands behind me as I brush my hair getting ready for bed.
“Hey,” I say gently, putting the brush on the counter while meeting his gaze in the bathroom mirror.
“I’m getting ready to lie down, I just wanted to make sure you were okay after having dinner with your parents tonight. It was a bit tense to say the least,” he admits.
I turn and face him.
“Yeah. We haven’t told Mom there’s a chance I might be…” I trail off and glance at the floor, unable to hold his stare.
As always, he tips my chin back up with his knuckle.
“Is that why your dad was so quiet?”
I nod. “He saw me drive at the track behind Tyler Motorsports. He’s confused and in limbo because he doesn’t think London could drive the way I did that night…
the way Lennon could. We all agreed there was no reason to get her mixed up in the ugliness unless we have to.
But she knows we’re hiding something from her. ”
“I see,” he says as he stares at me.
“Well, if you’re all right, I’m going to lie down. I’ll be going back to work tomorrow night. Unless…” His voice fades.
I smile and throw my arms around his neck even though my left shoulder still protests the motion. “I’ve kept you away for too long. What you do is important, Hendrix. You help people in their worst moments. You’re a healer.”
He smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I feel powerless when it comes to helping you. I haven’t helped you heal at all.”
“Hendrix, that’s not true. You’ve got me walking on my own again even though I’m still a bit slow.”
He leans his forehead down to mine. “I’m glad I could help with your physical recovery. But I wish I could heal your heart and your mind too.”
“It’s not for lack of trying. You and I both know the head and the heart are difficult to tackle when they’re working together.
Since I woke up in that hospital bed, it’s been nearly impossible when my head and my heart haven’t even been connected.
But I know the connection is still there and I’ll find it. ”
“I know you will,” he says.
He pulls me close and glides a finger down my cheek softly. “I want you to know, no matter what happens when your connection is restored, I love you.”
I care about Hendrix so much it hurts, but I can’t say the words back to him when it’s one of the disconnects right now. My heart is in love with Dash even if my mind says it should be Hendrix.
I press my lips to his softly.
He pulls away and turns to leave.
“Wait. Will you sleep in the bed with me tonight? Just to hold me? If it’s too hard or asking too much of you, I understand. But I could use the reassurance I always find in your arms tonight.”
His almost tortured gaze from before softens as his face seems to relax. “I can do that.”
We turn out the lights and slide under the covers. He pulls my back to his chest and drapes an arm protectively over me. For the first time in the weeks since the accident, I fall asleep easily.
I’m unsure of my decision to come back to Tyler Motorsports when I park out front, but I’m here now.
My phone buzzes in my hand. It’s Dash. I’ve not spoken to him since the night he took me back to Lennon’s wrecked car, although I did text him back and asked for time and space.
I send his call to voicemail and get out of the car that belongs to London. There are still people milling about even though it’s close to closing time. Dad’s truck isn’t in the lot though. I checked before I pulled in.
I need to do some searching on my own. I’m hoping being here again will help me remember something or give me some hints.
I enter the front door, and the lobby area is empty. I stare at the picture of me and my sister I saw here when I came with Dash until a voice startles me.
“It’s a bit surreal, isn’t it?” a deep voice asks.
I turn and find one of the guys from the last time I was here standing there wiping his hands on a greasy cloth.
“What do you mean?”
“How fast things can change,” he says motioning toward the picture I was staring at.
“Oh, um, yeah. Is anyone else still here?”
“Yeah. Some of the guys are back there cleaning up,” he says as his gaze travels the length of my body.
“Forgive me. What was your name again?” I ask as I stand taller.
He smiles. “It’s Troy. Part of Lennon’s pit crew. And Jackson’s too.”
“Right. Sorry, I took quite the blow to my head in the accident.”
“You’re forgiven. Once you get to know me, I’m hard to forget,” he says, flashing me a cocky smile.
“You don’t say. Well, I plan to come around here more since I’m feeling better,” I tell him trying to get anything from him I can.
“I look forward to it,” he says as his gaze follows my movement toward the garage.
I hear more voices and then I spot someone sitting in Lennon’s race car.
I rush over as quickly as my hip will let me. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I rush out.
It’s the other two guys from before. Jackson and Dill maybe?
“Hey. Slow down, London. I was just about to take it for a spin around the track to keep the engine in the best shape. Dillan just checked everything over. It’s in good hands,” Jackson explains.
But my fire is lit and I’m not backing down. My thumb rubs both of the bracelets I now wear on my wrist.
I lift my chin. “If anyone is going to drive Lennon’s car, it’ll be me.”
Dillan’s eyes widen but he keeps quiet. Smart man.
“Listen, princess. I’m a race car driver just like Lennon was. No one is more qualified to handle this car than I am,” he challenges.
I walk to the driver’s side and lean down to eye level with him. “No one is more qualified than I am to handle anything to do with Lennon. If the car needs to run a few laps, I’ll be the one doing it.”
His eyes narrow just a fraction before Dillan speaks up.
“She’s the boss’s daughter, man. And part owner too. It’s not worth it.”
He smiles without taking his gaze off mine, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.
“Sure, princess. Be my guest,” he says as he exits Lennon’s car.
He brushes against my left shoulder making me wince. “Don’t lose control out there.”
He retreats to the other side of the garage with Dillan and Troy.
My heart races as I stare inside the car. Driving the GTO was one thing. I’m sure I’ve driven it before. But this car…would Lennon have let London drive it? Could London handle it? This car has a lot of horsepower and torque. It’s built for speed with the purpose of winning.
I slide in the driver’s seat and find Lennon’s gloves and helmet on the passenger side like they were waiting for her return.
I glance at them all while fastening the six-point harness. It would probably be smart to wear the helmet considering my TBI. I slide it onto my head and feel soreness above my left ear and across my forehead, then I reach for the gloves and pull them on one at a time.
My head starts to ache, more like a headache than just soreness. Almost the way it did when I remembered something while looking at Lennon’s totaled Hellcat.
I push through it and study the gauges and switches in front of me and say a silent prayer I do this right.
I flip a main switch and make sure I’m in neutral before pushing the start button.
The engine sparks to life, and I hear a loud roaring sound as it catches and transitions into a steady, powerful rumble.
The machine vibrates all around me as it waits for my command.
A quick glance in the rearview has me ready to go. I shift into first and pull out of the garage bay and onto the same track I recently drove on.
I test the waters by tapping the gas and it lurches forward.
I work up to a steady pace and make two laps before feeling comfortable enough to give it all I’ve got.
I close my eyes for a split second before shifting gears again and accelerating.
The adrenaline in my body takes over and I drive around this track like I own it… which I kind of do, I suppose.
But this feeling is more. It’s like getting reacquainted with an old friend. One who fuels every hidden fire you’ve tried to smother. It feels like a dream realized.
By the fifth lap at this speed, I hear a voice in the comm.
“There’s my Valkyrie. Are you turning laps into memories? Or remembering you were born to race?”
“What are you doing here, Dash?” I ask in the microphone, both startled and soothed by his voice.
“Dillan called me and said you were ruffling some feathers down here.”
“Of course he did,” I mutter.
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were taking names and making lists,” he says.
“Something like that,” I say as I shift down to come in.
“Don’t stop on my account. Watching you drive is a beautiful sight.”
“Dash.”
“Lennon.”
I pull back in the garage and park Lennon’s car exactly the way I found it before shutting everything down and leaving the helmet and gloves on the seat.
Sliding out proves to be a little more difficult than sliding in, and it comes as no surprise that Dash is there to give me a helping hand.
Once I’m upright again, he’s still holding me.
“Seeing you drive again was almost as beautiful as seeing your face. Almost,” he says with a crooked grin on his lips.
“It’s time to go, Dash,” Jackson hollers from across the garage as he watches us with his arms crossed.
“We’ll lock up. You can go on,” Dash answers.
I glance over Dash’s shoulder to where Jackson, Dillan, and Troy stand. Troy throws something in the air and catches it in his mouth as he starts for the exit. Dillan is quick to follow, but not without shaking his head and huffing out a small laugh.
Jackson remains still for a minute more and then leaves behind them.
“What’s his problem?” I ask.
“He’s a good friend who doesn’t know you might be Lennon. He’s thrown by having you here. Trust me, he’s one of the good guys. We all deal with stuff in our own way,” he explains.
“I don’t think he likes me being here. Any of them.”
“Cut them some slack. They just care, Valkyrie. Being an identical twin gives you a wonderful but unique load to carry, even without what you’ve been through.”
“I guess you’re right. I’ve just been feeling a bit paranoid and isolated.”
“What? Why? Did something else happen?” he asks quickly.
I decide not to tell him about the most recent texts I’ve received.
“No, nothing like that. Apparently, it can be a side effect of the amnesia. I hate to admit this, but the other day at the cemetery I felt like I was being watched and then you showed up. It was a bit unnerving even though I know you’d never hurt me. ”
He cups my face in his hands. “Hey, Valkyrie. You believe that, don’t you?”
“I do.”
“Good. Because all I want is your happiness and safety.”
“Did Lennon let London drive this car?” I ask.
“I’m not sure about this car. And even if she did, I don’t think London would be able to drive it like I just watched you do.”
I nibble on my lower lip.
“Did you remember being in this car while you were in it?”
“No, not exactly. But I’ll admit, it’s uncanny the way I knew how to drive it,” I admit.
“Will you push the limit with me for a moment?” he asks.
“Sure, I guess.”
“No guessing. I need a clear answer,” he says.
“Okay. Yeah, I will.”
He pushes me slowly against the driver’s side of Lennon’s car with his hand wrapped ever so gently around the column of my throat and his lips find mine in the span of a heartbeat. His other hand slides around to the small of my back from my waist as he deepens the kiss.
This kiss is intoxicating. I could lose myself completely with Dash. My eyes are closed but I start to see flashes of light. My head starts to throb now.
I don’t know if a memory is trying to surface or if this is karma for trying to be someone I’m not, so I break the kiss.
“What’s wrong?” he asks as his brows furrow in concern.
“Nothing, I just…” My voice fades away as I try to focus.
“Stay with me tonight,” he says.
“I don’t know, Dash.”
“Don’t think with your head, Valkyrie. Lead with your heart.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I’ll stay with you. But there’s something I need to do first.”
“Okay. Do you need help?” he asks.
“No. I’ll handle it. I need to grab a few things. Text me your address?”
“Yeah, I will. If you’re more than thirty minutes, I’ll get worried,” he adds.
“I won’t be long, and I’ll call you when I’m on my way. Promise,” I tell him.
“All right. Let’s lock this place up so I can remind you.”
“Remind me of what?” I ask.
“Of who you are.”