35. CHAPTER 35
35
TYLER
After a hard workout with Seb in the gym this morning, and a long hot shower, I feel like a new man. Positive. Well, nearly a hundred percent positive. I’m a little pissed that Ivan pretty much ordered me, didn’t ask, but demanded I move in here with him. But as usual these days, it didn’t take much for me to cave. His threats to make me hurt slightly worried me, but mainly because it intrigues me what that would be like. I enjoy the soreness of his rough hands when we have sex, but I’m sure that's a world away from being choked, spanked and locked up in the room of death. Maybe one day I’ll push back on his orders, just to see what the punishment is like, even though he’s convinced I would love it. To be fair, he hasn’t been wrong so far in what I like even when I didn’t know. It’s like my body is a device that's connected to Ivan, my human version of WiFi.
I jog downstairs in my sweatpants and hoodie that are very rare for me to wear outside the home, but I need comfort if I’m packing.
“Are you ready to go?” Kai asks me when I get to the bottom of the stairs.
“Are we supposed to be going somewhere?” I ask confused.
“Ivan asked me to go with you to your apartment to help pack. Didn’t he say anything?”
“No, but I’m grateful for your help. Where is everyone?”
“I’m not sure. I think Jules and Simon are with D. Everyone else I’ve no idea.”
Where is Ivan? It's unusual for him not to text me when he isn’t going to be around. As I retrieve my phone from my pocket, a loud honk comes from outside and I look at Kai. He shrugs and we both head outside to see who it is. At the end of the driveway is a small moving van with Ivan honking the horn. How long has this guy had this planned for me to move? How can I want to hit him and swoon with how romantic it is at the same time?
“Come on you two, traffic will be a nightmare at this time,” he shouts.
“I’m guessing you didn’t know about this either?” Kai says as we walk down the gravel driveway.
“No. Just like I didn’t know I was moving in until this morning. He’s such a controlling dick sometimes,” I say and Kai laughs.
“Welcome to the family of controlling, possessive dicks. But what does that make us when we love it so much?” he says, and I return a laugh.
“You’re full of surprises, Ivan. One might think you had this planned for weeks,” I say as I get into the front and sit in the middle between him driving and Kai.
“I know what I want. And what you want,” he says, and I’m dying to argue, but I don’t.
About twenty minutes into the journey, we are stuck in traffic heading into the city.
“Is Tim still at the house, Ivan?” Kai asks. Oh no, I really hope Ivan doesn’t go into details as I really don’t want to know.
“Yes. Has Jules spoken to you about what's going on?” Ivan asks.
“He’s given me the cliff notes.”
“Probably for the best.”
Silence…but I can sense the uncomfortableness from Kai, who is fidgeting in his seat. I just know he’s about to say something, or trying to stop himself.
“My Mom called me this morning and texted me several times too,” Kai says quietly.
“Oh yeah? What did she want,” Ivan says, slightly distracted as we start moving again as the traffic eases up.
“She said Tim has disappeared and hasn’t been returning her calls and messages.”
“Did you say anything to her?” Ivan asks. The calmness in his voice, it’s weird. How can someone speak so low and calm but it feels like they are shouting?
“No, I didn’t answer her calls or texts.”
“You should, otherwise you’ll look like you’re hiding something. Just reassure her and say nothing else.”
“She knows when I’m lying,” Kai says, and I feel bad for the guy as he is so sweet.
“Doesn’t matter. You have us to back you up and you really need to tell Jules so he can talk to the guys. You need to stop hiding shit,” Ivan says as we enter the city.
“Believe me, I know,” Kai sighs and sits back in the seat.
“Tim brought this on himself, Kai. Don’t feel bad for him,” Ivan says.
“I don’t. It’s my mom I worry about.”
“She’ll get over it. Men are assholes and leave people all the time without a word. Maybe if you visited her it would help.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
A little while later we’ve parked and are inside my apartment.
“I thought you needed help packing? Everything is pretty much already packed,” Kai says, pointing at the boxes in my living room.
“He never unpacked,” Ivan says.
Kai looks at me and I just shrug. I don’t have the patience to explain myself.
“I have my clothes and some items in the kitchen and bathroom that need packing.”
“I’ll make a start on your kitchen,” Kai says, grabbing one of the half full boxes.
“You go do your clothes and I’ll take these down to the van,” Ivan says, and I agree.
As I grab a couple of suitcases and begin to pack all my clothes, I have an overwhelming sense of relief that I’m leaving this place. I’m not sad or attached to this apartment. It only represents confusion and loneliness for me and I’m glad to be rid of it.
I’m nearly finished packing when Chase calls me.
“Hey,” I say, as I flop down on my bed.
“Hey. I just wanted to check in to see how you’re dealing with everything after yesterday?” he says, and I love him so much for it.
“I’m actually pretty good. Ivan and I have come to an understanding. I’m at my apartment right now packing my stuff to move.”
“You’re moving in with him? Why didn’t you tell me yesterday?” he says, and not meanly. He sounds pretty excited for me.
“Because I didn’t know until he told me this morning.”
Chase laughs hysterically into the phone and I join in with him. It's nice to be able to talk to him about this stuff and that he understands what I’m going through. As the laughter calms, we sit without speaking for a few moments.
“You’re leaving aren’t you?” I say, knowing he doesn’t want to say goodbye again.
“Yeah we are. He hates New York, and doesn’t want to be here longer than necessary.”
“He hates everything apart from you,” I say.
“Yep.”
“Where are you going this time?”
“We’re going to the Maldives tomorrow. Noah had a last minute meeting, so I’m just getting everything organized. We want some quiet time and warmer weather. I’ll call you when we get there.”
“Have fun and don’t forget about me.”
“Never. Love you big brother, be happy.”
“You too, Chase.”
As the call ends I’m so sad, as I don’t know when I’ll see him again, but I’m also so happy that we have both found the happiness and peace that we’ve been searching for since childhood.
It’s time for us to live our lives.