Chapter 21
Ulysses
“I am so glad you called. An afternoon outing with my new friend was exactly what I needed.” Cameron hooked his arm into mine, practically skipping down the sidewalk at my side, all sunshine-and-light to my doom-and-gloom.
“I mean, I love my mate—of course I do—but Deimos can be so…” He gestured vaguely, waving his hand around as he tried to come up with the right word.
“Bossy?” I supplied. “Overbearing? Domineering? Suffocating?”
He gave me a strange look. “I was going to say insatiable. Geez, things not going well with that man of yours?”
My cheeks heated, and I hunched down, chin to chest. “Sorry. I guess I’ve just dated more than my share of toxic men. All those red flags make me a little skittish. Absolutely nothing wrong with my mate, though,” I said, forcing a smile.
“What’s he up to today?”
“He said he had to file a bunch of paperwork at the courthouse, and since I had no interest in waiting around at home, I called you.” I nudged his side with my elbow, aiming for a lighter topic. “So tell me more about this insatiable man of yours.”
“Oh gods, seriously,” he gushed, fanning his face. “Ever since the doctor gave me the go-ahead to have sex after giving birth to Damon, I swear my mate has been determined to knock me up all over again. My poor ass really needed a day off from all the pounding.”
I snorted a laugh, appreciating how completely open he was. It was a nice change from all the sneaking and spying going on around me lately. “As if you’re not just as voracious,” I teased with an arched eyebrow.
His grin widened mischievously. “Guilty,” he admitted. “I keep telling myself I’m going to behave, and then the second our son’s down for a nap, I somehow find myself riding Deimos’s dick or bent in half over the kitchen table. I can’t seem to stop myself. It’s an illness, I swear.”
“Did you like being pregnant? Enough to do it again, I mean,” I asked, hand drifting subconsciously toward my still-flat abdomen. It was still early, and I hadn’t entirely come to grips with all the ways my life was about to change, but he seemed like a good person to ask.
His eyes shifted to where my hand was sitting on my belly, a soft knowing smile on his lips. “Loved every minute of it. Except the swollen ankles… and the winter coat that I couldn’t zip up… and the random food cravings at all hours of the night.”
“I hear you on that one,” I muttered under my breath, though the chances that he’d had cravings quite like mine were slim. I would kill to crave some good old-fashioned pickles and ice cream, or maybe peanut butter and anchovies.
“Let’s not play games here. We are just going to pretend you already spilled the beans about being pregnant, and we’ll skip over the part where I squeal my congratulations and get straight to how excited I’ll be to be pregnant with you.”
I grinned. “Okay, thank you, but that’s assuming you’ll get pregnant too.”
Cameron speared me with a look that said who are we kidding? “Trust me, won’t be an issue. I swear, gods have magic sperm or something.” I didn’t doubt that for a second.
He pursed his lips. “So, where does baby want to go for lunch?” he asked, browsing the downtown selection.
“There’s a great Tex-Mex food truck that serves spicy barbecue, or maybe that place with Korean noodles?
Johnny’s Deli has got amazing deep-dish pizza.
Ooh! Burgers!” He pointed at the sign for Burger Bliss Bistro across the street.
I laughed, shaking my head. “Are you sure you aren’t pregnant already?”
“Not yet, but it’s never too soon to start eating for two,” he said with a wink.
“Um, actually, would you mind if we hit up this brunch place I heard about? It’s just down the block.” I tugged him by the elbow around the corner, and he came willingly, chatting the whole while, never once noticing how my body was tensing up.
Anticipation sat coiled in my gut like a snarl of fishing line, impossible to untie, and with every step I took, it only seemed to get worse.
I might not have had a single bit of precognition in my magical arsenal, but I could picture exactly how everything was about to unfold, and while there was a certain comfort in knowing the outcome, that didn’t make it any easier to face.
Cameron was still happily chatting when he reached out and pulled the door open, waving me to walk through into the Sizzle I might as well have slapped him for how betrayed he looked.
“Uly, please,” he begged, and his voice broke.
He took a deep, steadying breath, then pinned me with a look that carried such grief and agony…
and hope. “We’re supposed to be in this…
together.” That one word broke me, and I had to look away.
“Remember?” This time when he reached for my hand, I let him take it.
He entwined our fingers, and I took strength from that touch, squeezing his hand just once before I let him go.
I swallowed thickly, steeling myself for what needed to be done. “I was never going to be enough for you,” I whispered, the belief that had haunted me my whole life. And then I put the final nail in the coffin. “I reject you, Ruadan.”
His face crumpled as I turned away, and distantly I heard the click of a camera shutter. The paparazzi would always get their story. Good, I thought. I hoped they shouted this story from the rooftops. Let everyone know what he did.
Cameron followed me out, silent support at my back. He didn’t say a word, and when I came to a sudden halt two blocks later, he simply opened his arms and let me fall into them, my tears soaking into his shirt.
Who could have guessed, after everything I’d been through in my life, that I would ever let myself fall in love again, but…
As much as it hurt, I knew it was something that had to be done.
I pressed my hand to my stomach, where a perfect, precious life had begun to grow. I refused to regret it for a second.