Chapter 36
Noa
W aking up in Alex’s arms had Noa feeling so many mixed emotions, and she didn’t know which to focus on first. Her brain could be likened to a tumble dryer right now, going around and around at an unrelenting speed.
The anxious part of her brain wanted her to analyse everything that happened last night, what it meant and what happened next.
But since coming on this trip, Noa was trying to live in the here and now.
It just proved harder in some moments than others, but she was only human, and she couldn’t expect an entire personality transplant.
She lay rigid next to him, wanting to toss and turn, or grab a pen and write down everything she was feeling so that she could make sense of it.
But she also didn’t want to wake him up.
When a firm grip tightened around her waist and pulled her into his warmth, she settled into him and her mind instantly quietened to nothing but white noise.
In the now, she felt satiated and content, and that should be enough.
‘I can practically hear you overthinking,’ Alex said, placing a kiss on the top of her head.
There go them damn butterflies again. She was going to have to start charging them rent at this rate.
‘Another orgasm for your thoughts?’ he said, pinching her sides as she squirmed away and giggled into his chest.
‘No one can ever say you aren’t selfless, Alex Fletcher. Who knew?’
‘Stick around, and you’ll see how selfless I can really be,’ he joked, but she could tell that the statement ran a lot deeper than he made out, and it was not really a joke at all.
‘Hmmmm, I’ll consider it. But what do I get if I do?’
She moved her hands under the sheets to cup him. His jaw tightened as a rumble escaped from low in his throat.
‘Well, I’m glad you asked. Aside from having your own walking, talking sex doll, I believe my skills extend far beyond the bedroom.’
‘Oh yeah?’ Noa teased.
‘Yeah. In fact, I had an idea I was coming over here to discuss with you last night before you distracted me. Get up. We have plans today,’ he said, rolling out from under her grasp and standing from the bed.
She groaned at the thought of leaving. She wanted to stay wrapped up in each other all day long.
Sightseeing seemed overrated, all of a sudden.
As she stared up at his naked form, her mouth watering at the thought of having him inside her again, his skilled hands working their magic, she decided that this was the only sight she needed to see.
As if her impure preoccupations were being displayed for him to see, Alex gave her a devilish smile as he headed toward the shower.
‘Don’t worry, Trouble. Now I know how greedy for me you are. I’m not a complete monster. So, if you get your fine ass in here in the next five seconds, I’ll make sure you have one for the road.’
With a wink, he disappeared into the bathroom, and she was soon flying from the bed and rushing in after him, because he didn’t have to tell her twice. She was an addict who would do anything for her next fix. And Alex was her new addiction.
N oa eyes rolled in the back of her head as Alex pulled up outside the hostel on a moped that he had hired.
‘You’re kidding, right?’
‘What is there to joke about? Come on, Trouble. Hop on.’
She loved her nickname on his lips, especially remembering how he had groaned it in her ear last night.
But she still, stubbornly, remained in the spot where she stood.
She couldn’t believe the hypocrisy of this man.
Not even a week ago he had lost his mind over her getting on a moped, and now, here he was demanding she get on his. Well, she wouldn’t make it that easy.
‘Have you suffered memory loss or something? Were you not the same guy who demanded I not get on a moped last week because they are, and I quote, “a death trap”?’ she said.
‘Oh, so you were listening to me but just chose to be a brat and ignore me. Good to know,’ he replied with a pointed look.
‘I was not being a brat. You were being an overprotective ass and I’m a feminist who does not believe in letting a man tell her what to do so…’
‘Not what it looked like to me last night,’ he interrupted with a knowing smirk.
‘Alex,’ she whisper-shouted, desperately looking around like someone could have overheard what he had just said.
Chuckling, he tapped the seat behind him again and held out a helmet for her.
‘This time I’m driving, so I can keep you safe. It’s different.’
‘Like I said, caveman,’ she rolled her eyes, but walked toward him and accepted the helmet.
‘For you, always. Get used to it.’
She hated how much that simple statement made her stomach flip, warming her from the inside out. Feminist, her ass.
He leant into her, fastening her helmet tight under her chin and shaking it to make sure it fit.
‘There. You’re not going anywhere now,’ he whispered.
Noa wasn’t even sure it was meant for her ears, so she slipped on the back of the moped, wrapping her arms around him as they peeled away from the hostel and down the dirt track road.
T hey pulled up at the side of the road, a clearing to their left that obviously led to a walking trail.
She glanced around, searching for any clues as to where they were, but came up short.
There was nothing but green for miles and, if she squinted, she could make out a narrow clearing with what could potentially pass as a dirt path.
There were no smells that suggested they were close to civilisation, only the earthy scents of damp leaves and mud.
‘So, hey, is this the part where, now that you have had your way with me, you take me into the woods and kill me?’
‘I don’t know what crazy shit you’ve been reading or publishing recently, but necrophilia is not my kink.’
Noa’s face grimaced at his choice of words, but she cleared the thought from her mind as she followed him down the trail.
‘So where are we then?’
‘You ask a lot of questions, Noa,’ Alex chuckled, and she let out a deflated sigh, her shoulders dropping.
‘I know. Sorry. It’s a control thing. I…’
‘Hey, it’s not a bad thing. I love how your mind works, how inquisitive you are. I know it’s a hard place to be sometimes, but don’t ever be sorry for the things that make it easier, okay?’
She nodded, but didn’t reply. She didn’t think she could. She was sure her throat had almost fully closed up. In those few sentences, he had completely unravelled and obliterated one of her biggest insecurities, and it left her feeling naked.
She had always felt like too much for people, especially when it came to her anxiety and the way it sometimes made her behave, always seeking to predict and control the world around her and spiralling in a way most others didn’t when she couldn’t.
She frequently found herself apologising for it, scared that people would just get tired of her if she didn’t.
Alex had just made her feel seen and validated in a way that she never had before.
Lucas had made her feel like she had to shrink that side of her and would often tell her to ‘lighten up’, or tell her she was ‘relentless’, like she exhausted him.
A sense of being in exactly the right place, with exactly the right person, washed over her.
A feeling she’d been searching for and had experienced several times over the last few days. Complete contentment.
Alex cut through her thoughts as she just stood there like a statue staring at him, blinking rapidly to clear her eyes of the tears that were building behind them.
‘There are times where I will demand you give up control, Noa, and make it real good for you when you do. But only in situations where you feel comfortable. Do you trust me?’
‘Yes,’ she rasped, because that was something she knew to be true with her whole heart.
‘Then do you want to know where we are going right now?’
She decided to embrace that trust she had in him and hand him all the control. To not think and just enjoy the moment, strolling into the unknown with him. It, somehow, felt less daunting by his side. Because Alex was steadfast. Alex was her safe space, and with him, she felt brave and bold.
They walked in a companionable silence for a while, taking in the sights around them.
The trees towered above them and Noa got that feeling she got when staring at the rolling hills in Freymoor, that feeling of being small and insignificant.
These trees had been here for hundreds of years, and would likely be here a hundred more.
In the grand scheme of the world, her problems wouldn’t matter.
As she passed them, she reached out to feel the leaves of an evergreen shrub, letting it make her feel connected to the earth. The leaves looked so much more vibrant than any at home, and droplets of moisture coated them. She was curious what they were called.
The sound of their heavy footfalls on the ground, as well as the rustling trees and birds above them was interrupted when Alex spoke.
‘So, I realised something when I picked you up this morning. God, last night was so perfect, and we both got so caught up in the moment that I didn’t even think or to ask, and I’m so sorry about that. That’s on me as much as you but…’
It was his turn to ramble and spiral for a change and it was cute, but sensing where he was going with this, and wanting to put him out of his misery, Noa cut him off.
‘I’m on the pill,’ she said, hearing a whooshing sound as he seemed to exhale the entire contents of his lungs.
‘I’m clean,’ he said. ‘But I’ll get tested again if you want.’
‘Me, too. And that’s okay. I meant it when I said I trust you. If you say you’re clean, then I believe you.’
And that seemed to be the matter settled.
They continued for a few more minutes until the sound of running water filled her ears.
Then the huge pool of water came into view.
A clear blue waterfall tumbled over a tall rock face and plunged into the glistening pool below.
Noa blinked several times, wondering if she was imagining things.
Then she turned to look at Alex, who just stood staring at her with a dazzling smile on his handsome face.