15. Jagger
Iwatch Izzie go, and my heart goes with her. Minty whines next to me and nips my hand. A gust of wind swirls around us, making me shiver, and a dark cloud blocks out the sun.
She’s taken the sunshine with her and left me to my miserable self.
“Come on, girl.”
I head for the shed but Minty stays outside, looking down the driveway where Izzie went. She lays down with her head on her paws, looking as forlorn as I feel.
I spend the next hour making the chickens comfortable and sweeping out water that came in by the wood pile.
The work usually makes me forget Izzie, but today I can’t get thoughts of her out of my head.
It felt right to let her go, but I regretted it immediately. If I had only talked to her, if I was better at all this, I might have told her how I feel.
But I didn’t, and I let her go. I made love to her, and then I let her go because I’m a shit human being.
But she’d never be happy up here with me. She needs to be with someone her own age, someone she can have fun with. She doesn’t want a miserable old man like me.
My stomach rumbles, and I head inside. I jerk open the fridge to find the remains of the lasagna Izzie bought me siting on the shelf. I close the fridge against the guilt the lasagna elicits from me.
On the kitchen counter is the plate of oat cookies, and I snatch one up and stuff it in my mouth.
My tastebuds spring to life. They’re so damn good.
I chew the cookie slowly as I watch Minty out the window. She’s waiting on the driveway still as if Izzie’s going to come back. As if she would come back to a grumpy old man like me.
Only she did. She made me a lasagna, she came all this way to visit, and then she baked me cookies and she seduced me in the shower.
Seems like the kinds of things you’d do if you were into someone.
I pause with a cookie halfway to my mouth.
Damn, I’ve been an idiot.
She did all this for me, and I sent her away. We shared the most intimate sex I’ve ever had. She cried in my arms and opened up to me, she showed me all her vulnerabilities, and I sent her away.
I’ve been fucking stupid. And I hope it’s not too late.
I grab my keys and my sad dog and head down the mountain.