16. Kai
Chapter 16
Kai
“Wow, it’s hot in here.”
“It’s a tropical house.” Leo takes my hand and leads me along the wooden gangplank.
It winds through the giant greenhouse, past lush green trees, bright flowers, trickling water, and several butterfly feeders.
“That’s a blue morpho.” Leo points to a butterfly that’s easily as big as my outstretched hand. Its wings are a shimmering shade of blue.
“It’s beautiful.” I hold my hand out, not expecting it to come anywhere near me, but it perches on my finger, its long, thin tongue unfurling to touch me. “Does it think I’m a flower?”
Leo gapes. “I’m not sure. I’ve been here a few times, but I’ve never seen a butterfly land on anyone.”
A black butterfly with red on its lower wings and white on its upper wings flutters around my head and alights on my shoulder. Another, with tawny wings and markings resembling bird eyes, lands on my head.
“Th-that’s an owl butterfly,” Leo says.
He’s not the only one staring. I’m attracting quite a crowd of people. One man points his phone at me. I move slightly. Enough to disrupt the butterflies without scaring them. They flutter away. I wouldn’t have minded Leo taking a picture, but not some random stranger.
The butterfly house isn’t big, but we amble around it, stopping every few paces to read the information cards about the plants and butterflies. We watch the terrapins, even though they do nothing exciting besides sitting and chilling. More butterflies land on me, but I encourage them to fly away with minimal effort. If we were alone, I’d let every butterfly in the building alight on me, especially if it made Leo smile.
“Why do the butterflies like you so much?” Leo asks in a hushed voice.
“I dunno. Maybe it’s because I can fly too,” I whisper.
“You can fly?”
“Uh, yeah. I have wings. Not right now, obviously, because?—”
“It would melt my brain.”
“Yours and everyone else’s.”
“Including the butterflies’?”
I purse my lips, pondering that. “I don’t know. How do you know what type all the butterflies are?”
“Not all of them. ”
I lean on the wooden railing and wait patiently for Leo to answer my question.
“Dad loved insects in general. He often spent a few hours in a field somewhere, identifying every bug he could find.”
“And he took you with him?”
“Sometimes. More when I was little. I lost interest as I got older. My favourites were the butterflies.”
“Why?”
He smiles, revealing his gorgeous dimples. “They’re beautiful. Pretty shallow, huh?”
I shrug. “It’s as good a reason as any.”
“Dad used to tell me I should give moths a chance too. And he was right. There are some stunning moths, even in the UK. They’re not all drab and brown like the common house moths everyone is used to.” He blushes and shakes his head. “I’m sorry. This is boring.”
“No. It’s fascinating. Besides, you could never bore me.”
His cheeks blaze an even brighter shade of pink. He sighs and rests his elbows on the railing. “I haven’t been into insects since the accident.”
I rub his upper arm. “Not even butterflies?”
He laughs softly. “I come here occasionally.” He elbows me gently. “But you already know that, don’t you?”
“Always at the same time of year.”
“As close to Dad’s birthday as I can make it.” He clears his throat. “Maybe I shouldn’t have brought you here. ”
I take his hand and stroke my thumb over it. “Wasn’t the idea of this date to get to know each other better?”
“Yes.”
“Then it’s working. I’ve known you for seventeen years, but I hadn’t realised why you came here. Now I do.” I lean close and whisper in his ear. “And you’ve found out that I can fly.”
His laughter is more tangible and happier. “True.”
We leave the butterfly house and enter a dry area with giant fish tanks. A manta ray glides through the water, deftly navigating around huge aquatic plants and enormous fish.
“I imagine swimming or diving is the closest a human could ever get to flying. Or hang-gliding, I guess.” He grimaces.
“You don’t fancy hang-gliding?”
“No.”
“Maybe we could go diving, and I could tell you how close it is to flying.”
“What’s it like?”
“Flying?”
“Yes.”
I lean my head against the glass of the tank. “Amazing. Freeing. I don’t do it often.”
“Why?”
“I don’t need to.”
“But don’t you fly just for fun?”
“Not while I’m watching over a human, no.”
Leo’s gaze becomes mournful. “Why? ”
“Because then I wouldn’t be doing my job, would I? How can I keep my human safe if I’m gallivanting through the clouds?” I step close to him and fiddle with the buttons on his jacket. “No need to look so sad. Being close to you is better than flying.”
“It is?”
“Yes.”
“How? Why?”
“Because you’re amazing.” I kiss him softly.
“I bet you say that to all your charges.” His tone is light and breezy. Is he joking?
“You know that’s not true.”
“Because I’m the only one you’ve ever revealed yourself to.”
“Yes. So believe me when I tell you I’d rather spend a hundred years grounded with you than one night flying through the sky.”
He widens his eyes. “A hundred years?”
I laugh. “Maybe that was an exaggeration. The rest of your lifetime.” An odd feeling settles inside me, threatening to steal my smile and smother my laughter. What is it?
“Come on, there’s still lots to see.” Leo tugs at my hand, pulling me from my thoughts.
The next section is hot, but the dry heat is somehow more oppressive than the damp heat in the butterfly house. The loudest sound is that of rushing water, the source of which quickly becomes clear when we turn a corner.
“Wow,” I whisper .
Water tumbles thunderously off a ledge into a deep pool.
“We can go and stand behind it.”
“Really?”
“Yes, come on.”
We hurry along the concrete path to a man-made cave leading behind the waterfall. A glass fence separates us from the water, but we extend our arms and let the rush of water flow against our fingertips.
“It’s cold.”
Leo chuckles. “Were you expecting it to be warm?”
“Everything else is.”
Everything beyond the waterfall appears shattered and wobbly. It’s beautiful.
Leo wraps his arm around my back. “Are you having fun?”
“Yes.” I turn to him and lean in for a kiss, which he reciprocates.
“I think you’re addicted to kissing.”
“If I am, it’s your fault.”
He points at himself. “My fault?”
“Yes. For being so good at it.”
“I might be terrible. I’m the only person you’ve kissed.”
“No, you’re the best kisser in the world.”
“How could you know that?”
I shrug. “I just do.”
He laughs, cups my cheek, and kisses me harder. “There are minibeasts next and then a desert section with meerkats. ”
“Sounds fun.” Except I’m too caught up in kissing him to care. “Wait, what are minibeasts?”
“Small animals that don’t have backbones. Insects, mainly. A few lizards and frogs.”
“I bet your dad loved that section.”
Leo smiles sadly. “Yes.”
I pull him into a hug and rest my head on his shoulder. “Butterflies were your favourites, but what were his?”
“Spiders. He wanted a tarantula, but Mum was terrified of spiders. As far as she was concerned, nothing needed that many legs and eyes. It did not help when Dad pointed out that there were creatures with more than eight legs, like centipedes and millipedes. She would stare at him and tell him that nothing needed so many legs, not even insects. And then he’d remind her that spiders and centipedes aren’t insects.”
“Oof. I bet that didn’t go down well with your mum.”
“Not at all. She’d tell him she didn’t need a biology lesson and that, no, he was not allowed to have a spider. They were never serious arguments. Their eyes were always sparkling, and they’d be laughing seconds later.”
I smile. “That’s a great memory.”
“I have lots of wonderful memories of them. As time passes, I find it harder to recall what they looked or sounded like. I have photos, which helps, but their voices—they’re pretty much lost to me now.”
I hold him tighter. “I’m sorry.” The odd feeling returns, more powerful this time. I can’t name it. It’s an emotion I’ve never experienced.
Leo rubs my back. “Hey, what’s wrong? You’ve gone all tense?”
“I—don’t know.”
He holds me at arm’s length, his brow puckered with concern.
“I’m sure it’s nothing.”
“Are you tired?”
“Not yet.” I shake the tension out of my body. “There, all better. You were going to show me the minibeasts.”
Leo hesitates. “Kai?—”
“I’m fine. Whatever it was has passed now. I’m okay.” I grab his hand and tug him away from the waterfall. “Minibeasts.”
As we walk around in the minibeast section, we admire the spiders, lizards, frogs, beetles, stick insects, and more. They are all fascinating creatures in their own ways, although I can see why people might be scared of some or all of them.
“Are you scared of any?” I ask.
“I’m not a fan of earwigs.”
I curl my lip. “Do they actually go into ears?”
“It’s unlikely. But my grandma told me if I didn’t clean my ears, earwigs would crawl inside and burrow into my brain.”
“That’s horrible!”
“Right? Terrorise the five-year-old into washing their ears. She also said potatoes would grow behind my ears if I didn’t wash there. I probably shouldn’t have believed a thing she said.” He strokes my arm. “Are you afraid of anything?”
“Only one thing.”
“What?”
“Failing in my duty.”
He stares at me. “Have you ever failed to protect your charge?”
“No. But having that fear stops me from getting complacent. I won’t let you down, Leo. I will keep you safe until—” I stutter to a halt and force myself to smile. “Always.”
His pupils shrink to pinpricks. He squeezes my hand. “Thank you.” He clears his throat. “Meerkats?”
He’s doing that human thing of changing the subject. Not that I’m going to complain. “Meerkats.”
The meerkats are fun. It’s obvious they’re used to visitors because they come close to the glass and pose.
“They escaped once,” Leo says.
“Really?”
“Yes. They burrowed out of their enclosure and got into the rest of the greenhouse.”
“Oh no!”
“They had to rebuild the enclosure to ensure they couldn’t escape again.”
“I bet it was fun trying to round them all up.”
Leo bobs his head from side to side. “I doubt it was fun.”
We leave via the butterfly house and walk around the gardens .
I squeeze Leo’s hand. “I had fun this evening. Good choice.”
“I’m glad.”
“So, what happens at the end of a date?”
“That depends.”
“On?”
“How gentlemanly I’m being.”
I narrow my eyes. “Go on.”
“I could say goodnight with a kiss on the cheek.”
“Boring.”
He laughs. “Or a long, slow kiss.”
“Better. Or?—?”
“We can go home and see what happens.”
“What might happen?”
He shrugs. “Kissing on the sofa.”
“Is that the only option?”
He shakes his head. “Maybe some light fondling.”
I frown.
He kisses a trail up my jaw, ending at my ear. “Light fondling is touching each other in pleasurable places.”
I shiver. “That sounds nice.”
“Are you ready for that?”
“I don’t know, but finding out will be fun.”
He strokes my hair. “I don’t want to rush you.”
“You’re not. I’m a creature of instinct, remember? And my instincts are telling me getting closer to you is right.”
“Okay. But if your instincts start telling you otherwise, let me know. ”
I smile and kiss him. “I will, don’t worry. But I don’t think they will.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because it’s you, Leo. I know you’d never do anything to hurt me. I know you’ll take care of me.”
He swallows a few times as though he’s got something stuck in his throat. Then he kisses me hard enough to make my toes curl. “Let’s go home.”
I remain fully visible until we’re inside Leo’s apartment, and then I dial it down so only he can see me to conserve energy. We end up on the sofa, in the same position as last night, Leo’s chest draped over mine, his legs beside mine. We kiss leisurely, sometimes soft, fleeting pecks, other times long, deep, toe-curling kisses where we’re playing with each other’s tongues. It’s fun, and the tingling, fluttering sensation from the kisses chases away the odd feeling from earlier.
Where would Leo like to be touched so we can move on to light fondling? I tickle his nape. He moans, sending delightful vibrations through my lips and tongue. I move my other hand to his waist, nudge his T-shirt, and brush my fingers back and forth over his bare skin.
“Kai.” He kisses me harder, tangling his finger through my hair.
“Is what I’m doing nice? ”
“Oh, yes.” He skims the backs of his fingers over my jaw. “Is that nice?”
“Uh-huh.”
I can’t imagine him doing anything that isn’t wonderful except pulling away again. It would make me sad if he did that. I want him to trust that even though I’m inexperienced, I know what feels good and right.
“Tell me where to touch you,” I say.
He pushes up, takes my hand from his nape, and rubs my palm over his jaw. His short beard tickles my skin. I stare at him as he moves my hand down, over his throat to his chest. He skims my palm over his nipple, which hardens beneath his T-shirt. He swipes my hand over his stomach and then back up and lays it on his nape once more.
“Anything like that is good to start with.” He smiles. “Look at you.”
“If only I could. What am I doing?”
“You’re beautiful. Staring at me like I’m an expert.”
“You are compared to me. And you are when it comes to your body. No one knows better than you what you like and enjoy.”
He kisses me. “Sage words.”
Heat flushes my cheeks. “I know you’re worried I’m inexperienced, but I know myself, Leo. I know I want to be close to you.” I tug his T-shirt. “And I know it would be nicer if you weren’t wearing this.”
He strokes my hair away from my forehead. “Are you sure you’re ready for that? ”
“I’ve seen you naked.”
He chuckles and rests his forehead on my shoulder. His face burns with heat. “You were a cat.”
“I still had eyes. Anyway, I don’t know why you’re embarrassed. You’re stunning, Leo. Take your T-shirt off. Please.”
He nods against my shoulder and sits. “Will you take yours off too?”
My T-shirt vanishes.
“Oh, that’s not fair. Can you do that with all your clothes?”
“Yes, want me to show you?”
“Not yet.” He glances over his shoulder. “When did you lose the shoes and socks?”
“The moment we walked in the door. Didn’t you notice?”
“I was too busy kissing you.”
I grin. “I think you like kissing me.”
“I do.” He pulls his T-shirt off, leans down, and proves it by kissing me hard and long. He rests his elbows on either side of my head and stares into my eyes. “Why am I falling for you so hard, so fast?”
“I don’t know. Does it normally take longer?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. I’ve never felt this way before.”
I frown. “But you’ve dated plenty of guys. You’ve?—”
He puts his finger over my lips. “Don’t say it.”
I smile innocently.
“And yes, I have dated other guys and had sex, but none of them are like you. None of them made me feel the way you do.”
“Is that bad?”
“No.” He brushes his lips over mine. “A little confusing, but not bad. You’re wonderful, Kai.”
I raise my eyebrows. “Wonderful at kissing?”
“Yes.”
I moan as he kisses me. I experiment with running my hands over his torso, working out how much pressure to apply and where to touch him based on how he moans. He seems to especially like it when I roll my palms over his nipples. He kisses me harder when I do and groans into my mouth. His nipples become rock hard, which makes them more fun to touch.
He explores my body too. My skin tingles delightfully everywhere he touches me. My back, my chest, my sides, my stomach. Everywhere. I shiver and whimper and arch my back to chase his hands.
“Leo!” My voice comes out as a pleading whisper. I want more.
He wraps his arms around me, presses his face against my chest, and kisses me there over and over. At last, he comes up for air and exhales, blowing warm air against my skin. “You’re amazing.”
“So are you.” I return his embrace, brushing my thumb over his spine.
Is this as far as we’re going to go tonight? Something tells me it is, but at least he’s not pulling away or freaking out .
He lifts his face and rests his chin on me. “Do you want to go on another date?”
“Yes. But this time I get to decide what we do.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Now I understand what a date is, it’ll be easy to come up with something for us to do.”
He chuckles. “If you say so.”
“It won’t be easy?”
“Whatever you choose, I’ll love it.”
I pout. “Now you’ve got me worried.”
He laughs. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
“Meanie.”
“I’m sorry. How can I make it up to you?”
“More kisses.”
“You can have all the kisses you like.”
I grin. “You realise that’s a lot of kisses.”
He nuzzles my nose. “I do. Which means I’d better get started.”
He claims my mouth, and my worries about planning a date flutter out of my head.