15. Leo
Chapter 15
Leo
During the drive home, Kai chats enough for both of us. He smiles, jokes, and laughs, making me feel a lot better about hitting the brakes back in the hotel room.
Why did I call time on kissing? Because it was about to become so much more. I needed him so badly, and he was so damned receptive to every press of my lips and flick or swirl of my tongue. It was clear he was into it, and so was I, but?—
But.
But.
But.
A thousand buts.
He’s an angel. He’s a virgin. He might joke about sex, but does he know anything about it? Plus, everything I’ve learnt about him since he revealed himself to me points to him being a ‘go with the flow’ kind of guy. He told me he was a creature of instinct, but what if his instincts guide him wrong? I couldn’t bear it if he regretted anything we did together.
But at the same time, do I have any right to tell him what he is and isn’t ready for? I should let him make his own decisions and his own mistakes. Except I don’t want to be a mistake.
He puts his hand on my thigh. “You seem stressed. Talk to me?”
We’re less than half an hour away from home. I should stall this conversation until we get there. I don’t know what I can say other than to reiterate everything I said this morning. We shouldn’t hurry. We should take our time getting to know one another. We shouldn’t rush to get physical, no matter how right it might feel.
“Leo.”
I give him a sideways smile and then fix my eyes on the road ahead. “Thanks for coming to the wedding with me.”
“Hmm, you’ve already thanked me for that.”
“Have I?”
“Several times.” He rests his chin on his loose fist and stares out the window. “I like your family.”
“They seemed to like you.”
He wrinkles his nose. “They love you.”
My chest tightens. “Yeah, I know.”
“And Saffron’s meddling might have been a little pushy, but it worked.”
I indicate to signal I’m exiting the motorway. “A little pushy? ”
Kai laughs. “All right, a lot pushy. Are you complaining?”
“No. You?”
“No.”
I smile. Kai’s happiness is infectious.
“Do you mind if I return to being mostly invisible when we get home?” he asks.
“No. Whatever you need.”
“It’s been fun interacting with lots of people, but so tiring.” He yawns and closes his eyes.
“I didn’t realise angels were so sleepy.”
“Maybe I’ve been pretending to be a cat for too long. I’m used to being asleep most of the day.”
I hum. “Only you weren’t sleeping all day, were you?”
“I was sometimes. When you were around. But if you went out, I was with you.”
“I still can’t believe I never noticed you.”
“I didn’t want to be seen. I was incognito.”
“You’re very good at it. You’d make an excellent spy.”
“That sounds too much like hard work.”
“Dangerous work.”
“Leo, don’t ever become a spy.”
“Don’t worry. I’m not cut out for that kind of thing.”
“Good.” He grins at me.
I smile back.
“Leo. This morning—I was really into what we were doing.”
I slow for a red light .
“The way you were kissing me was amazing. I—I wanted more.” He stares at me.
The light turns green. I accelerate slowly and join a short stretch of dual carriageway. Almost home. I’ll want to kiss him the second we walk in the door. Knowing he wants it too makes my heart flutter. I’ve been with other guys, but I’ve never felt so intoxicated by one before. Which is all the more reason why I need to think with my head, not my heart or my cock. I need to keep things under control. I need to protect Kai.
“Kai—”
“I just want to put that out there. But I’m also happy to go at whatever speed makes you feel comfortable. You’ve just wrapped your head around the concept that I am an angel. I know kissing me was a huge deal. So doing anything more is likely to be just as big a deal. Slow is good.”
I grip the steering wheel tighter.
“Slow is good,” he says.
“Kissing you the first time was a huge deal. Now—well, let’s just say I’m happy to kiss you as often as you like. I want to take everything else slow. Is that okay?”
“Yes.”
“You’re sure?”
He laughs and bats his hand over my thigh. “I said so, didn’t I?”
He sings along to my music during the last few minutes of our drive. I pull into the car park, find my spot, and park.
Cayenne jumps into my arms, nuzzling the underside of my jaw with his head. He purrs like a tractor. I pat his head.
“I should probably have picked you up in a cat carrier, but never mind.”
He hisses.
“You don’t like the cat carrier?”
He stares at me as if to say, ‘Would you?’
I laugh. “I don’t think I’d want to be couped up in one either.”
I hold him in one arm while I get my bag out of the car and go inside.
I step out of the lift.
Janice is dusting her front door. “Leo! Did you enjoy the wedding?”
“Yes. It was lovely.”
“Oh, wonderful. It’s so good to see you and Cayenne again. Couldn’t wait to pick him up, I see?”
I chuckle. “No. I missed him.”
“Such a beautiful cat. How old is he now?”
“Seventeen.”
How old is Kai, really? What did he say? He’s ageless.
“Getting old,” Janice says.
Cayenne grumbles.
“He doesn’t like being called old,” I whisper conspiratorially. “He thinks he’s still a kitten.”
“And a very handsome one at that.” She pats his head. “I’ll let you get in. You’re probably tired.”
“We’ll talk soon.”
“Looking forward to it. ”
I let myself into the apartment and close the door. Cayenne jumps out of my arms, turning into Kai before his feet hit the ground. His bare feet, even though he was wearing socks and shoes in the car.
He stretches, pulling his T-shirt up to reveal skin. “It’s good to be home.”
“Yes.” I put my bag by the door. I’ll need to sort it out later, but not now. “Are you tired?”
“Hmm, a little.”
“Do you need a nap?”
He rakes his teeth over his bottom lip. “No.”
“What do you need?”
He taps his lips. “Kisses. Lots and lots of kisses.”
“I can manage that.” I close the distance between us, rest my hands on his hips, and kiss him gently. “How was that?”
“Good. More.” He puts one hand on my waist and, with the other, strokes my beard. His yellow-green gaze is intense as he stares into my eyes. “Just kissing.”
Because of me. He wants more, but he’s willing to wait because of me. Does he know I’m trying to protect him?
I push the thought aside and lose myself in kissing him. Each kiss feels more perfect, more right, more intense. We drift towards the sofa and tip onto it, me on top of him. He wraps his arms around me, pulling me against him. I kiss him harder, making each one last as long as possible before I need to come up for air. My lips are swollen from so much kissing. His skin is red from my beard .
“You are so beautiful,” I whisper and claim his lips again.
“So are you.” He licks my tongue with his own and then sucks mine, driving me wild for him.
Blood rushes to my cock. My breath stutters.
Kai frowns. “What’s wrong?”
“We should stop.”
He pouts. “I thought kissing was okay.”
“It is, but my body wants more. I want more.” I scramble upright, grab a cushion, and use it to hide my erection.
Kai pushes onto his elbows. “I’m so confused right now.”
I stare straight ahead, not able to look at him. I’m protecting him.
He pokes at the cushion. “Why are you holding that like a shield?”
“Because I’m hard,” I mutter.
“Hard?”
I wave my hand. “That’s exactly why we need to go slow, Kai. You don’t understand. You know nothing about sex.”
“Except that it sounds fun.” He grins, which is so endearing my heart melts.
I can’t help but smile. “It is fun. But you don’t know what it is, what it entails, or what goes where.”
“Then teach me.”
“Can you even?—?”
“What? ”
“I watched a film a few years ago with angels in, and they were basically Ken dolls.”
“Huh?”
“Moulded on underwear. No genitals.”
“Oh. Well, that was just a film. You shouldn’t believe everything you see on TV.”
I laugh. “I guess not.”
Kai leans forward, puts his fingers on my chin, and gently turns my head. “If I was any other guy, what would we do before sex?”
“You’re not any other guy.”
“Pretend I am.”
I shrug. “Depends on the guy. Some like to get straight to sex. Others enjoy dating first.”
“Dating?”
“Going out a few times, getting to know each other more.”
“Okay, let’s do that.”
I catch hold of his hand. “Being visible in public makes you tired.”
“Does a date last as long as a wedding?”
I shake my head.
“Then there’s no problem. Oh, except I have no money. So we need to do things that don’t cost anything.”
“I can pay.”
“That doesn’t seem fair.”
“I want to.”
Kai claps his hands together, and his eyes light up. “I’m so excited. I’ve never been on a date. What should I wear?”
“Shoes,” I deadpan.
He sticks his tongue out.
“I’ll get back to you on what to wear once I’ve figured out where to take you.”
He jiggles his shoulders in a happy dance. “I can’t wait.”