14. Kai
Chapter 14
Kai
We arrive for breakfast fashionably late, with only twenty minutes to spare before they stop serving. Most of the wedding party and guests are seated, suggesting they also slept in. We find a table, which I wait at while Leo gets food. The moment he sits, Saffron puts her arms around his neck and kisses his cheek.
“Morning, cuz.”
“Morning.”
“Did you sleep well?” She glances at me as she speaks.
“Great, thanks,” I say.
“How was your room?”
“Nice,” Leo replies.
Saffron releases him, pulls up a chair, and sits. “Any reason you were so late to breakfast? You left the party quite early last night.”
“That was my fault. I was tired, sorry,” I say.
“No need to apologise. I just hope the two of you had fun last night. Or this morning.” She waggles her eyebrows.
Leo sighs. “You arranged our room upgrade, didn’t you?”
She squeals. “Yes. Did you like it?”
“It’s a lovely room.”
“Was the bed comfortable?”
“Very.”
“Kai?”
Leo’s face turns a violent shade of red.
“Oh, yeah. Very comfortable. And big too. I barely noticed Leo was there. Was your room nice?”
Saffron nods. “We stayed in one of the suites. The King James Suite.”
“That sounds posh.”
“It is. The perfect room for our wedding night.”
“Aww, that’s awesome. Where are you going on honeymoon?”
“Antigua.”
I whistle. “Have fun.”
“We will.” She looks at Leo. “So—did anything happen?”
“Like what?” I ask innocently.
“You know.”
I widen my eyes. “I do?”
“Yes.” Her voice has dropped to an insistent whisper. “Two friends sharing one bed. Something must have happened.”
“Other than sleeping? ”
Leo puts his hand over his face. Saffron gapes at me.
“Oh! You want to know if Leo snores. Why didn’t you ask?”
Saffron shakes her head. “That’s not what I was getting at.”
“Oh, okay. Then I’m clueless. You should just say what you mean instead of—” I click my fingers. I’m sure humans have a saying for what she’s doing. They probably have a saying for what I’m doing too: feigning innocence.
“Did you get it on?”
“Get it on?” I repeat slowly. This time, I’m not pretending not to understand.
“Have sex. She’s asking if we had sex,” Leo grates out.
“Oh! Why didn’t you say that? No.”
“ Nothing happened?” Saffron asks.
“I di?—”
“This is so embarrassing,” Leo mutters. “Why did you upgrade our room?”
“Isn’t it obvious?”
“No.”
“Because you two make the perfect couple but didn’t seem able to get your acts together. I thought sharing a bed would give you a little nudge.”
It did, but Leo doesn’t want to broadcast that. I get it. He’s a private person, and what we did or didn’t do is no one’s business but our own.
“We’re friends. And I was crazy tired last night. As soon as I lay down, I fell asleep and slept in, which is why we were late.” That part is mostly true.
Saffron looks positively disappointed. “Oh.”
Her husband, Jensen, joins us. He leans down and kisses Saffron on the temple. “We need to get to the airport.”
“Oh, right. I’m glad you made it to breakfast before we had to go. Safe drive home, Leo. It was lovely meeting you, Kai.”
We nod and smile goodbyes.
Leo leans across the table once they’re gone. “You lied.”
“Technically, no, I didn’t. We are friends. I was tired. I did nothing but sleep last night. Where’s the lie?”
He opens and closes his mouth a few times.
“But we’ve also been through this. Nothing is stopping me from lying. I’m not some shining beacon of goodness. I’m more of a celestial bodyguard.”
“Who turns into a cat and works on instinct?”
I grin. “Yes. Cool, huh?” I pinch the croissant off his plate, tear a piece off, and give him most of it back. “Would you rather I told her you spent the last hour giving me kissing lessons?”
“No.” His voice is strangled.
“Well, then. Why complain?” I pop the fluffy pastry into my mouth. “This is good. You should try it. Does your cousin do that a lot?”
“Matchmake? Not that I know of.”
“Huh. I wonder why she set her sights on us. ”
Leo shrugs. “Maybe she was carried away with the romance of her wedding. But honestly, who knows?”
I glance around the grand room. “This place is romantic.”
Leo smiles and nibbles his croissant. “You know a lot about romance, do you?”
“Absolutely nothing, except what I’ve seen on TV.”
“The people you protected before me never fell in love?”
I stare past him without focusing on anything. “Probably. I don’t think I paid that much attention.”
He tugs his brows together. “You pay attention to me.”
“That’s because I like you. I’m closer to you than any of my previous charges.”
“Right. You watched the others from afar.”
“Yes.”
“Being a guardian angel sounds lonely. You don’t usually interact with your charges. You don’t ever meet each other. I can’t imagine spending?—”
“Forever?”
He nods. His eyes well up with tears. “I can’t imagine spending forever alone.”
I focus on him. “I’ve always been able to sense that I’m not alone. I’ve never felt lonely. I know I’m part of something bigger. Something amazing.”
“And that—that’s enough for you?” he asks, rough-voiced.
“Yes. ”
He swallows and blinks. “I’m glad you’re not lonely.”
“Are you okay?”
He clears his throat. “Yeah. We should go and pack. We need to check out soon, and it’s a long drive home.”
I reach across the table and put my hand over his. “You don’t need to worry about me. You don’t need to be sad for me. Please smile.”
He smiles beautifully.
“There they are.”
“My dimples?”
“Yeah. They make me weak at the knees.”
He sniffs. “My dimples aren’t that impressive.”
“Yes, they are. Let’s go pack.”
On the way to our room, we pass more of the wedding party. Most have bags, so they’re going to check out. We stop to exchange words with family or vague acquaintances of Leo’s every few paces. It takes us an age to get back to our room. Leo unlocks the door, and after we walk inside, I kick it shut. I put my hands on his cheeks and kiss him.
He blinks. “What was that for?”
“To thank you for caring, even though it’s totally unnecessary. And hopefully to cheer you up. You got a bit melancholy on me.”
“Sorry.”
I press my finger to his lips. “No need to apologise. Is there anything I can do?”
He hooks his fingers into my belt loops, pulls me to him, and rests his forehead against mine. “Thinking about how lonely you had to be made me remember what it was like after I lost my parents. I had a huge, gaping hole in my chest, which I was sure nothing would ever fill. And then this adorable little kitten turned up, convinced me he was starving, and that hole started to fill in. And I wondered if anyone has ever done that for you. Has anyone ever made you feel wanted and needed?”
I brush my fingers through his hair. “Yes, you.”
He sniffs and presses his lips to mine. His kiss is damp and salty.
“Leo.” I wrap my arms around him, hold him tight, and nuzzle his neck. I don’t know what I’m doing, but this feels right.
“I’m okay.” He holds me back, pressing his hands against my back.
“Are you, really?”
“Yes.”
“Then why are you crying?”
“I don’t know. Ignore me. I’ll pull myself together.”
“Hey, no. I’ll never ignore you, Leo. There doesn’t need to be a reason. Maybe you need some catharsis.”
He nods.
“Come over here.” I lead him to the bed and encourage him to lie beside me, where I wrap him in my arms.
He rests his head on my chest and returns my embrace. I’m glad he’s willing to be so close to me now when earlier, he was freaking out about it.
“I’ll hold you as long as you need, Leo. I’ll always be here. Like a bad smell you can’t get rid of.”
He lets out a watery laugh and then sniffs me. “You smell nice.”
“Why, thank you.”
He lifts his head and stares into my eyes. “I don’t want to get rid of you.”
“Useful.”
“I want—” His gaze dips to my lips.
He kisses me with hard, desperate fervour. He threads his fingers through mine and holds my hands against the pillow on either side of my head.
He pulls away, face red, eyes wide. “I’m sorry.”
I raise my eyebrows. “What for? That was nice.”
“It—was?”
I hook my mouth into a lopsided smile. “Yeah. I was totally into being kissed like that.” I squeeze his fingers. “You can do it again whenever you like. And, hey, if it makes you feel better—bonus!”
He pecks my lips. “You’re amazing.”
I grin. “So are you.”
He kisses me again. “We should pack and check out.”
I free my left hand from his and hook it around his neck. “Right now?” I apply pressure, pulling him down for a long kiss.
“We have to check out by noon.”
“What time is it now?”
He checks his watch. “Just after eleven.”
“So we have an hour to enjoy this comfy bed? ”
“Not quite.”
“Close enough.” I pull him down for another kiss, sucking his tongue as he slips it into my mouth.
He cups my cheek with one hand and squeezes my fingers with the other. I keep my free hand against his neck, encouraging him to kiss me deeper. Heat rises off his body. He moans against my lips, making them buzz with desire. He presses his chest to mine. What would it be like if he were lying full over me? What would I feel? How would I react? I know nothing about what humans who desire each other to do, other than the sounds I’ve heard through the bedroom wall. I want to know. I want to learn. I want to experience it all with Leo.
Gasping, he breaks the kiss and flops onto his back beside me. “We shouldn’t.”
I frown. “Shouldn’t what?”
“Get carried away.” He turns his face towards me. “I don’t want to do anything you might regret.”
“I was having fun. Weren’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Then what’s the problem.”
“Kai—you—you’re a?—”
“Angel?”
He shakes his head and laughs. “Well, yes, but that’s not what I meant.”
“Then I’m confused.”
He rolls onto his side, props himself onto his elbow, and strokes my cheek. “You’re a virgin.”
“I have no clue what that means.”
“You’ve never been with anyone before.”
“Oh, no, well, obviously I haven’t. Is that a bad thing?”
“No. But we should take things slow. I only kissed you for the first time a couple of hours ago. We shouldn’t be getting so hot and heavy.”
“Oh.” I don’t hide the disappointment I’m feeling.
He stares into my eyes, his smile soft and caring. “You don’t agree?”
I shrug. “What we were doing was amazing. It felt right. I’m just confused about why we need to go slow when it felt so good.”
“I don’t want to rush you into anything you’d regret.”
“You already said that. Why would I regret being close to you?”
He makes a strangled noise. “You might.”
“I won’t. You’re my?—”
He cuts me off with a deep kiss. “We don’t need to rush. I don’t want to rush.”
I nod uncertainly. “As long as we’re stopping because you’re not ready to do more, not because you think I’m not ready.”
He swipes his thumb over my bottom lip. “I’m not ready. Sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologise.”
He smiles and pecks my lips. “Let’s check out and go home. We can talk about what comes next later. Is that okay? ”
“Yes.”
“Thank you, Kai.” He kisses the tip of my nose and my lips, then gets off the bed to pack.