Chapter 18 A Friend’s Funeral
The day of Hans’ funeral was one of those tricky fall days where the sun was shining in a crisp blue sky, but as soon as you stepped outside, the frigid air went straight to your bones.
“Damn, Ali’s looking swell,” Kappy said, his breath hanging in the cold air as he craned his neck to see the crowd of people behind us. “Wasn’t she always…” he cocked his head to the side, “teeny?”
“What do you mean?” That felt like a strange thing to comment.
I immediately searched the sea of black mourners for Ali.
Hockey players and figure skaters of all ages, some with families, some alone, were walking up the cemetery’s gravel path to Hans’ grave.
Between Hans’ time back in Michigan at Centre Ice and here at the Coliseum in Chicago, there were probably dozens of Olympians and NHL hockey players in the crowd coming to pay their respects.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t find the one figure skater I’d been searching for all morning.
“Like, she was a little younger than us, sure, but she was always kind of…” His face scrunched in thought. “How do I say this?” He licked his lips. “Not curvy? I think she got a boob job.” Kappy smirked.
I whipped my neck to him. “What?”
“Yeah, I wanna ask, but that’s weird, right? Let’s have one of the girls ask her.”
“No. Mind your own business,” I snapped, annoyed that he was talking about her when I couldn’t even see her. I shifted uncomfortably in my small seat. “And don't look at her boobs. You have a girlfriend—who would kill you.”
“Wife,” he corrected, wagging his eyebrows.
I shoved him, almost knocking him off his seat.
“Ow.” He laughed. “Don’t let Piper see you hit me, she’ll kill you. Besides, I didn’t say anything mean, she looks good. I’m just curious.”
“Yeah, well, don’t be,” I huffed.
“Touchy, jeez,” he said, giving me a curious look as he straightened his tie.
Piper scurried over to the empty seat Kappy saved for her and motioned for us to lean in.
Not in a million years did I expect her to blurt out: “Did you guys see Ali’s boobs?
I’m so jealous!” She craned her neck to see her again.
“You think she got it done while traveling? I gotta ask for her surgeon, damn.” Piper touched the top of her dress and snuck a peek down at herself.
“You guys think I should get a boob job?”
Kappy wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his lap. “No, you’re perfect, baby,” he said, pressing a kiss to her neck, making her giggle and swat at his chest.
“You two are ridiculous,” I muttered, but now I was itching to see what they were talking about. “I just saw Ali and she looked the same.”
Piper’s eyes shifted to mine. “When did you see her?”
Shit.
I flexed my jaw. I really didn’t want to get into the whole story, especially not today. “Never mind.”
When everyone was seated, the priest started speaking over the grave.
My eyes bounced from the photo of Hans, to the casket, to the hole in the ground, and I couldn’t take it.
I couldn’t take it that he wouldn’t be in the rink anymore, waiting for us with the words we deeply needed to hear.
For some, Hans was just a calm fixture in the rink.
For others, Hans was a mentor and friend. For the six of us, Hans was family.
When the priest started speaking about how Hans was joining his wife, Katia, up in heaven, my eyes burned. I had to pull out my sunglasses to shield my eyes. Looking to my side, I noticed Kappy and Colt doing the same thing.
When I straightened back up, that’s when I finally spotted Ali.
As my eyes drifted over her, I noticed subtle differences from this summer.
Where she was usually all angles, she looked softer.
Maybe she’d just gained some weight. Either way, she looked great.
She looked healthy. She wore a simple black peacoat overtop of a dress, and she had her short blonde hair looking freshly cut just below her chin and pushed back behind a thick black headband.
She looked less tan than the last time I saw her, and she had big bags under her eyes, but all of us probably had those today.
“You’re staring,” Mer whispered beside me.
“I know.” I sighed as Ali wiped a silent tear away. I wanted so badly to pull her into my arms and be the comfort she needed today.
“At least you don’t deny it anymore. That’s progress,” Mer said thoughtfully.
My eyes were pulled down to Mer’s hopeful blue ones. She was busy bouncing Callahan, who was starting to look too heavy for her. Colt couldn’t help her because he was busy comforting Lucy, who was breaking all of our hearts with her tears for Hans.
“Want me to hold the big guy?” I asked, reaching out for him.
With a smile of thanks, she carefully transferred the drooly guy onto my chest. As soon as he settled, my eyes drifted right back to Ali.
“She’s beautiful,” I said with a sigh.
“Yeah, she is.” Mer gave me an encouraging smile. “You should talk to her. She’s staying with us tonight.”
Those words hit me like a sucker punch to the gut. I knew it went against all logic, but a little part of me had been hoping she’d stay with me. Then again, I didn’t have the right to feel upset, not when I was the one who cut her free.
Callahan let out a little cry, pulling me out of my thoughts. I promptly started bouncing my knees to lull him back to sleep.
As soon as the priest finished his blessing, a group of older men started playing a beautiful song on the bagpipes while people came up one by one to lay a rose on Hans’ grave.
Our little crew were the last ones left standing around the grave.
I continued holding Callahan while Colt and Mer went up together holding Lucy’s hands.
“Thank you for bringing us back together, Hans,” Colt said.
“I’m going to miss you, Hans,” Lucy said, her little shoulders shaking from crying. Colt immediately scooped her up and hugged her tightly, whispering soothing words in her ear.
“Thank you, friend,” Mer whispered before placing her rose on his casket. She walked back to me with tears in her eyes, and as soon as I handed her Callahan, she squeezed him tightly.
Piper and Kappy held hands as they walked closer to the casket.
Piper started to whisper words, but choked up and turned into Kappy’s chest to cry.
Holding his wife against him, Kappy pressed his lips together to hold his resolve.
His eyes went to the sky. “I-I hope you’re up there keepin’ the hockey boys in line.
” He rubbed his eyes. “Thank you for always keeping us, old man.”
Ali walked up next, wobbling slightly in her heels and clutching her black coat together.
She whispered a few words before placing her rose on the casket. She used her sleeve to wipe at her face before turning away.
“Ali,” I started.
Looking up at me, her shoulders shook violently as her face broke into more tears.
I went to hug her, but she shook her head and power-walked past me to catch up with our friends.
I stood there for a second feeling the sting of rejection.
Walking up to Hans’ grave alone, it felt fitting that I was last. The tears I held back all day finally came forward and I suddenly felt like a lost little kid.
My mind drifted back to Centre Ice. Back to Hans chasing us after we pranked him for the hundredth time, back to him disciplining me after a game misconduct, back to him always reaching out when we were lost.
“I promised you,” I finally whispered, staring at Ali’s figure as she walked to the parking lot. “And I’m going to try my hardest to keep this last promise, but I don’t know if that’s what she wants.” I rubbed my forehead. “I just wish you were still here, old man. I wasn’t ready.”
___________
The celebration of life for Hans was held in the Coliseum’s lobby—a decision made by Kappy that seemed oddly fitting. Someone brought a ton of mini-sticks and the little toddlers and young kids were running around swinging them.
A group of tween boys who all discarded their suit jackets and ties were now all sweaty and red-faced from playing suey with a soccer ball. Two younger guys on our team, Zukes and Nilsson, immediately jumped into the game.
Zukes, dressed in a green and blue plaid suit, stretched out to get the ball and a ripping sound filled the air, making him freeze.
“Oh shit!” he called out, craning his neck to look at his backside. “It ripped! I thought this material wasn’t supposed to rip!”
The kids all clapped and threw their heads back cackling.
“What a fatty!” one kid teased.
Zuke’s eyebrows slammed down. “Hey, I’m a professional athlete. I’m not fat. Tell them, Nil,” he said to his best bud.
Clearly struggling to keep a straight face, Nilsson weighed his head to the side. “Coach tell you no more hot dogs, no more Colas,” he said in broken English.
The kids laughed harder.
Zuke’s eyebrows slammed down. “I can’t give those up. That’s my good luck meal.”
As soon as the tweens went back to playing, the ball sailed all the way across the room, smacking into an older woman’s head.
The grey-haired woman looked around for the culprits, but the tweens were already bolting out in every direction to hide.
“Hey, get back here!” Kappy thundered, striding across the room. “That was disrespectful. Go apologize to that woman.” He caught one of the kids by the collar of his shirt. “C’mon, man up. Go.”
“Oh my God,” Piper murmured beside me. “He sounds just like…”
“Hans.” I smirked. It was ironic, really. While all of us were troublemakers to some degree growing up, Kappy was the worst. He and Hans engaged in a game of cat and mouse for years which eventually resulted in a crashed zamboni and only ended when Kappy started working at the rink.
Looking around our little group, we all laughed with tears in our eyes.
“Well,” Piper said suddenly, straightening her posture and wiping her eyes. “I need some coffee.” She shot Mer a look that I couldn’t quite decipher.