Chapter 7 - Lydia
I didn't want to give in to him. I didn't want to give him a reason to be concerned and insist on protecting me, but I couldn't take it anymore.
Between his persistence and how it turned my stomach to think of being Jack's Luna, I couldn't keep it up any longer. I needed to let it out.
I opened my eyes again to meet his. I found only patience and empathy there, which went against my image of him in my mind.
"I guess I'll start with you then," I began, absently running my hand up and down my opposite arm to comfort myself through the difficult discussion ahead.
Sebastian seemed to perk up as I spoke, clearly prepared to hear everything I had to say. He nodded briefly yet allowed me the time and space to speak.
"Before we left our old pack, my parents told me some things about you and your family that changed how I saw everything...they told me your parents wanted you to become the alpha, and they planned to help you do exactly that."
Sebastian's brows furrowed as he listened, crossing his arms over his chest, but he didn't interrupt.
I swallowed hard and continued. "They told me you were going to kill the alpha and his luna, along with anyone else that might get in the way. You were going to erase their entire family to become the new alpha and reap the rewards. My parents couldn't stand the idea of being in the same pack because of it, so we started following Jack instead."
It was hard to see the visible hurt and betrayal written in his features. It consumed him immediately, and while I noted the sincerity there, it wasn't enough to convince me either way.
"What?" Sebastian asked, more so in disbelief. His gaze was fixed on mine, seemingly struggling to understand how that could be the case. But as the realization settled into his features, he quickly defended himself. "They lied to you, Lydia. I never planned to kill anyone or take anybody's place. That's not my character at all—I'm not some monster, and I never was."
While I digested his words, hearing sincerity but finding myself not knowing what to believe, I couldn't take his word at face value so easily.
"You could say anything right now, and I'd have no way of knowing if you're telling the truth," I returned, stuck between two worlds.
"But there is a way," Sebastian said, cutting the space between us as he reached for my hand with surprising grace and placed my palm against his chest.
Letting go of a startled sound at the sudden contact, I blinked up at him as warmth immediately filled my cheeks.
Beneath my palm, I could feel his heartbeat and study its steady rhythm as he looked down at me, eyes full of sincerity and earnestness.
The proximity, the intensity of his gaze, and the warmth of his skin took the breath from my lungs at once. Yet, I had no choice but to look up at him and accept how his nearness stirred those old feelings within me.
"Feel my heart rate while I tell you flat out with no hesitation—I did not kill the alpha or anyone associated with him. I never planned to take his place, and I never did," Sebastian stated with complete and utter confidence. Those deep brown eyes never left mine. "I swear it."
Warmth filled my cheeks at the almost tender contact, surprised by his willingness to prove my parents wrong.
Sure enough, his heart never sped up or slowed down as he spoke. Instead, it maintained that typical rhythm. He seemed to be telling the truth.
Losing myself in his gaze, suddenly feeling like I was the only woman left in the world, I couldn't help but allow that dormant attraction to pull me closer. There was a sense of temptation in the air, as if that part of me who would once do anything for the chance to get his attention had come to the forefront once again.
Something in me wanted to believe Sebastian was telling the truth, that he was still the guy I used to have a crush on, but those voices in the back of my mind were insisting that he was lying to me. That my parents had been right about him all along.
Even if I felt myself drifting towards him as if he were the center of my orbit, I urged myself to snap out of it.
It didn't matter that we had once known each other or that I had once had feelings for him. What mattered was whether he really was a monster or if my parents had been lying to me.
Yanking my hand away, I took a step back and tried to put space between us; all the while, I forced those feelings, along with the color in my cheeks, back down. "That...that doesn't mean anything. You could be steadying your heartbeat."
Visibly annoyed by the claim, Sebastian scoffed. "Yet you can believe your parents' baseless claims that I'm some kind of murderer?"
As he had a point, I found myself stumbling on some kind of response. "It...it's different. Why would my parents lie to me?"
He calmed himself with a deep breath and shrugged. "That's what I'd like to know too." Seemingly realizing we could go in circles arguing about it, he redirected the conversation instead. "Me aside, why were you running from Jack?"
Knowing it was a bigger, more complicated topic to tackle, dread entered my stomach at the thought.
"I was informed that Jack was...interested in me after I turned eighteen. My parents were pushing me to accept his advances, so I agreed to meet him last night," I admitted, unable to look at the troubled expression on his face. "Mom and Dad wanted me to become the pack luna, but I couldn't accept the idea of it. I couldn't go to him, not after I've only ever seen him as a leader and alpha—especially since he’s old enough to be my dad. So, I ran until I couldn't anymore, and now I'm going to be in a world of trouble for it. I just…I couldn’t do it."
It was hard enough to consider the idea, let alone saying it out loud for him to hear. It made my stomach turn, but I did my best to pull a brave face.
Watching those thoughts and emotions move through his eyes felt even more agonizing the longer it went on. From raw anger to empathy and finally, to a remorseful understanding, he seemed to flit through each one as he considered my words.
"Lydia..." Sebastian murmured, blinking through his astonishment. "Trouble or not, I don't think you were wrong for running. He’s obviously a creep predator. But your parents—"
"Stop," I exclaimed, aware of what was going to come. I lifted a hand in an attempt to force a boundary between us as I shook my head. "Please, just stop."
While looking defeated by my words, Sebastian respected my wishes and stayed in place as I took another step back.
"I've heard enough for now," I mumbled, feeling too overwhelmed by the two places I found myself caught between.
Either my parents or Sebastian were lying, and I couldn't be completely sure which it was yet.
Plus, tackling the notion that my alpha, who had guided me as a young teen, was interested in taking me as his mate and making me his luna was too much for me to try and wrap my head around.
Seemingly understanding, Sebastian gave me a curt nod as he took a deep breath, even if his eyes were veiled with slight defeat. "All right, I won't push you. Just...stay put here in the meantime, at least. Go wherever you need in the cabin, but stay put so we can figure out what to do."
I couldn't ignore the flare of curiosity in my chest as I looked at him. "'we'...but why? Why do you want to help me at all, Sebastian?"
Keeping his gaze locked on me, the edges of his disappointment softened somewhat, and with his arms crossed, he rested his chin against his fist. "I don't want anything to happen to you. Whether it's for your sake or my selfish need to ensure you're not forced into anything you don't want, I won't let that happen."
His words, while gentle and reaffirming, hit me like a punch. It was strange to hear that kind of declaration from him, given how we were never exactly anything before, yet I found myself opening up by a fraction because of it.
Regardless of how it affected me, I retained my resistance enough to remind myself I couldn't simply give in just because he said the right things to me. I had to stand my ground until I could determine who was telling the truth.
Tired of the mental gymnastics and the conversation, I gave him a curt nod before turning away and disappearing into another room.
All the while, I struggled to internalize what was going on and the impossible position I found myself in.
I wanted to believe my parents wouldn't lie to me, that they had my best interest in mind, and that they wanted to protect me by informing me of Sebastian's plans.
Yet, I couldn't ignore Sebastian's sincerity when he tried to defend himself. Believing he could be so cold and heartless as to kill an alpha and his luna for the status was impossible to swallow, too.
Either way, someone was misleading me, and I hated being stuck in the middle of it all.