Chapter 10 - Lydia
Sebastian’s hands gripped my waist as he kissed me harder, humming into my mouth before pulling away just enough to pant against my lips while he caught his breath. As he mumbled, his every word sent those addictive sparks of pleasure through me.
“We shouldn’t be doing this…”
But even as he spoke, his words lost all meaning as he remained there, his nose pressed against mine as he held me closer. His strong arms wrapped around me, telling me that he desired to do anything but stop.
He pulled in a deep breath and kissed me again, dragging it out as he fought that internal battle with himself. “This is wrong,” Sebastian whispered, bringing a hand up to cradle my cheek. “I shouldn’t take advantage of you like this.”
Excitement coursed through me as I soaked in his evident desire and need for more, even if he was trying to fight it. Everything in me needed it to continue, regardless of whether he was right or if, given our past, there was something inherently wrong about what we were doing.
But at that moment, I could only think about how much I wanted him—how badly I needed him for years despite those preconceived notions. He had been at the center of my fantasies since I could remember, and it felt like I was finally given the chance to live them.
With a hand against his chest, I met his gaze, brimming with both lust and a hint of guilt. I murmured against his lips, “And if I don’t want you to stop?”
His chest deflated with what I suspected to be relief, yet that hesitance lingered even as he spoke in between frantic kisses. “It would change things, but…still.”
“If we both want this, then I don’t see why we should stop.”
His lips stilled against mine then, pulling back enough to look at me. His eyes inspected mine closely as his thumb brushed across my skin, caressing my cheek with anticipation and an awakened hunger in his gaze. “Are you sure?”
Swallowing thickly, I nodded. “I’m sure.”
Not missing a beat, Sebastian’s hand moved to the nape of my neck as he pulled me closer, sealing our lips together with a fiery kiss that spoke of his desire—of the longing we both shared and was amplified by our proximity.
I couldn’t help the breathless moan that slipped past my lips and mingled with his appeasement. Everything in me seemed to sing for him, prepared to throw all caution to the wind for the chance to soak up more of those addictive sensations only he could provide.
As he deepened the embrace, Sebastian guided me backward until we reached the couch, and with ease, he lowered me onto it. The cushions shifted as he joined me. While hovering above, he made sure to give my lips as much attention as physically possible.
With a hand propping him up against the armrest, he used his free one to unzip my hoodie, exposing my skin beneath. I warmed all over due to the vulnerability, quickly realizing just how real the situation was.
When I instinctively brought a hand up to cover myself, Sebastian murmured his protest against my mouth before he murmured against me, “Don’t hide yourself from me. Please.”
Despite the stern resolve in his voice, it was veiled with pleading that gave away his true desire, words dripping with lust.
His words made my heart stammer and my ears burn as I tried to catch my breath.
Sebastian paused at the skip of my pulse and pulled back enough to look me in the eyes. His brows furrowed slightly as he gazed down at me. “What’s wrong?”
I tried to swallow back the lump in my throat, but it was no use. I couldn’t hide my lack of experience, especially not from someone as perceptive as him.
“I…haven’t done anything like this before,” I admitted sheepishly, beyond embarrassed to admit it.
However, Sebastian showed no judgment in his eyes. Instead, they softened, as did his hold on me. He searched for any kind of regret in my eyes, swallowing back his eagerness. “If you still want to—”
“I do,” I exclaimed, voice wavering slightly from the nerves. “I just need some time.”
With nothing but understanding gracing his features, he nodded. “I can go slow. Is that what you want?”
Unable to form the words, I nodded next.
The idea of having sex for the first time was daunting, especially since my inexperience made me anxious, but I knew I couldn’t ask for it to happen with anyone better.
Given how he looked at me with so much care and kindness in his eyes, I knew he was prepared to keep his word.
“Let me know if you need me to stop,” Sebastian murmured against my lips, catching them with his as his hand on my hip traced soothing circles.
I eased into the kiss again, urging myself to relax. As those sparks of pleasure moved through me because of it, I managed to find that natural groove again, and as Sebastian carefully continued to shuffle my hoodie off, I didn’t protest.
Instead, the mingling of our lips spurred that excitement within me all over again, and I helped him ease my yoga pants down. Left in only underwear, I wanted to even the playing field by lifting his shirt. Once he caught the hint, the top was tossed to the side, and his bottoms were kicked off along with them.
Sebastian’s lips were on mine again, making me so flustered I could hardly breathe. As his hand migrated between our bodies, he shifted to the side and kissed down my jaw and neck, murmuring his words of encouragement against my skin. “You’re far too beautiful to hide, Lydia. You don’t need to hold back with me.”
I shivered as he reached the crook of my neck and gently pulled my skin between his teeth before lightly sucking on it; all the while, his fingers brushed against my core, making me tense at the initial contact.
As it ebbed into nothing but pleasurable sparks, I relaxed my thighs and sighed, head dropped back against the armrest.
Sebastian’s chuckle vibrated against my neck, sending another rush of sensations through my body. It went straight to my heat in tandem with his skillful fingers over the fabric of my panties.
I moaned for him, aware of how foreign the sound was coming from my lips, but I caught as he faltered from it, letting go of a faint growl from within the back of his throat. My stomach flipped at that, and I felt myself melting even further.
Before I could react, his mouth was on mine again, splintering his attention between the kiss and his attention on my clit.
Sebastian’s pleased hum made more of that desire pool between my legs, and with ease, he moved the fabric to the side and allowed his long, dextrous fingers to explore my folds.
My breath hitched in my throat as he dipped one inside, gathering my arousal and gently getting me used to the feeling.
I swallowed hard, eyes fluttering shut all the while I soaked it in, whimpering as he repeated it again and again until he finally pushed the digit inside.
“That’s it,” he whispered against my lips, looking down at me with those dark eyes. A faint smirk pulled on his lips while he gently pumped his finger. “Relax for me.”
The tingles that moved through my body with ease made me feel lighter than the air itself. While this relief was welcome, it almost had me burning for more. I knew I needed to feel what it was like to have him completely inside me.
Between his greedy kisses, the closeness of his body, and the languid strokes of his fingers as he added another was enough to have me arching slightly away from the couch, and I couldn’t string together any logical thought.
Not that it mattered—not while he was offering me more pleasure than I had ever felt before, just from his hands alone.
As my moans increased in volume, his pace gradually picked up, and his breathless sounds of appeasement did the same. Kissing down my neck while he focused on my pleasure. Sebastian’s breath fanned against my skin, making me feel like I would lose my mind from how ready I was.
“Sebastian…” I whispered, moaning softly from his ministrations. “Please.”
Catching on to my meaning, not needing me to spell it out for him, Sebastian nodded and pressed his lips against mine again as he slowly removed his fingers and gently parted my thighs more.
“Let me know,” he reminded me, voice huskier than it had been, eyes even darker with lust as he fit himself between my thighs and gave one a gentle squeeze. Without batting an eye, he kicked his briefs off, then tugged my panties down, leaving us completely exposed to one another.
I nodded, although I was interrupted by the rush of excitement that scurried through me as I felt him against me, arousal prominent and practically demanding attention. My eyes closed instinctively as Sebastian moved even closer, hovering his lips above mine.
With one hand on my hip and the other propping him up, Sebastian carefully moved his hips forward and made that initial connection between our bodies.
At once, I parted for him, and while every sensation came as a shock, I was beyond aroused for him, and he managed to slip inside with little resistance.
I inhaled sharply as my body grew accustomed to his size with a rush of intense, almost other-worldly sparks of pleasure that made me whimper for him as he painted kisses against my jaw and neck.
But as that feeling swelled within me, taking up space in my heart, Sebastian faltered as if both were overcome by it simultaneously.
He cursed under his breath as he filled me, letting go of a growled sound.
In complete shock at how incredible it felt, I could only cling to him, keening for more, for him to help me chase after those new, addictive sensations.
Despite being just as affected by it, Sebastian swallowed it back and let go of a breath. “Feeling okay?”
Just barely moving my hips, craving more of him, I nodded eagerly.
He cracked a smile against my lips as he stole another kiss before he reached for my hand tenderly, interlocking our fingers as he began to move his hips.
The wave of immediate bliss that hit me was unlike anything else as a weak moan left my mouth, struggling to meet his kiss as he continued in slow, languid strokes.
Sebastian’s hushed groans filled my head with a pleasant fog as he moved with more vigor and saw that I was fine to keep going.
Through the mingling of our moans and the growing eagerness of our bodies, every stroke of his hips made the bracelet around my wrist jingle like a sweet little chime—like a silent testament to the pure connection unraveling between us.
As if he made the same realization, Sebastian couldn’t fight the growl that reverberated in his chest, and his face dipped down to my neck. While still maintaining that caring undercurrent through his every action, there was a notable shift in his demeanor as he picked up the pace of his hips, thrusting into me with a touch of urgency.
My jaw went slack as I accepted every one of those movements, head tipping back from the sheer potency of it all. Instinctively, I held onto him, tightening the grip of my fingers against his back. I couldn’t hold back those moans as they grew, sounding almost like tokens of gratitude for the sensations he offered me.
The longer we remained like that, locked together and yearning for a mutual release, the more it seemed like we were on the same page. Like he could read me from top to bottom, he caught on to the way I angled my hips a certain way, and without needing to be told, he made that adjustment for me. He was attuned to every aspect of the moment, increasing the pace when I could handle it.
Everything culminated in such an overwhelming way that I could only hold on and writhe for him, letting him hear every one of my pleased sounds.
Gripping my hip a little tighter while he gained leverage from our intertwined fingers, Sebastian bucked into me with more force then, groaning into my neck in between the sloppy kisses he placed against my skin.
Every rock of his hips into mine made that bracelet jingle, and it seemed to hypnotize me while that pleasant haze overtook my mind, and I could only think about that very moment. Outside of it, nothing mattered.
As Sebastian continued his relentless pace, panting more as he started succumbing to it, darkness bordered my vision, and I could feel the pressure. Every stroke of his hips brought another rush of pleasure over me, and it was all too much to process.
That applied tenfold as his hand dropped between our bodies, and his fingers made quick, uncalculated motions against my clit, making my whole body bend for him as pleasure wrapped around me like a vice.
My moans were cut off the moment it tipped me over, and that pressure released within me, making me clench tightly around him. My whole body tensed while Sebastian thrust more deliberately, guiding me through it.
His mouth latched against mine as I came undone, pushed to the brink and moaning against his lips. With that release came a nearly blinding sensation that snapped into place, making me inhale sharply.
Almost like another heartbeat had been added alongside my own—alive, beating, and thriving, nurtured by the exchange. If I hadn’t been so affected by my orgasm, I would’ve paid more attention to it. But given its safe and comforting presence, I could only bask in the bliss that rang through my system.
His panting gave away how close he was as he let go of my hand to grip both hips while he rutted into me several times before his muscles went taut, and he groaned against my mouth.
Warmth filled me as he sucked in a deep breath and made a few more slow, sensual thrusts into me to heighten the experience for both of us.
My head was full of a pleasant haze as that bliss sparked through my system; I could only lay there and catch my breath as Sebastian relaxed into me and dropped his face to my collarbone. He pressed gentle kisses to my skin and slipped his arms behind my back to hold me close.
In the wake of our intense lovemaking, silence lingered while we both came to terms with how the night unraveled. We both made a choice, and we couldn’t walk back.
And yet, there was something so right about it.