Chapter 9 - Lydia
I never imagined those old feelings could linger within me for quite so long, especially after I completely threw away any lingering hope of ever being something to Sebastian. But it seemed the goddess worked in strange ways, and she was offering me the chance to understand everything from his perspective.
Struggling with the thought of my parents lying to me burned more than I could truly comprehend, but at that moment, it felt like only the two of us existed.
Even if I could still feel the remnants of my resistance around me, there was no questioning how Sebastian completely shook the foundation of my previous beliefs. He was reshaping the image I had of him in my mind, formed by the baseless stories my parents told me.
On one hand, something in me was still guarded and suspicious about what Sebastian had told me. But on the other, I always thought it was difficult to imagine him killing anyone.
He may have been charming and persuasive since we were younger, but he never struck me as someone who would commit such heinous acts just to get what he wanted.
Even if I only ever saw him through glimpses and whatever Zoe would share with me, he always seemed to have integrity, and he didn’t act like the other shifters we grew up around.
It was refreshing to see fragments of that reality even then.
The bigger picture of all the moving parts around me was still overwhelming, but in the safety and peace of his cabin, I was allowed to think and see the man sitting across from me.
I would have to be blind to not see how beautiful he still was—impossibly more so than I remembered. Of course, that was nothing new. Everyone in the pack thought he was gorgeous, and that fact alone would take him far.
But while others failed to look beyond that fact, I always tried my best to understand him. Since I was young, that longing to know more about him had been strong, yet it seemed that time had finally come.
As we sat there together, across from each other, it felt like the chance had been dropped into my lap, and his complete attention was on me.
It was somewhat nerve-wracking, given how that dormant attraction had no issue coming to the surface again, but I found myself not shying away from it. Rather, I tried to appreciate the moment despite my remaining reservations.
“I appreciate that, Sebastian,” I returned gently, still holding my knees to my chest with my arms wrapped around them. “I felt incredibly alone the moment I ran, but having someone looking out for me is…nice.”
Sebastian’s smile reached his eyes, and then he nodded. “Of course. I couldn’t leave you hanging like that. Especially not with what I know now.” As if realizing the vulnerability in those words, he continued with a slight correction, “Besides, Zoe would kick my ass if she knew I didn’t do anything to help.”
The more he said her name, the more my heart squeezed with regret and the lingering nostalgia in my chest.
I let go of a small, reminiscent chuckle and nodded. “That she would...she always made sure you stayed in line despite being the youngest.”
A fond grin took over his face as he lost himself in thought. “She still does to this day, honestly. I have her to thank for keeping me level-headed through everything.”
Thinking about all the time I missed with her, I felt more of that dread move through my system as I looked away momentarily. “Zoe…I missed her the moment I was pulled away from the pack. I didn’t understand why we had to leave, but I did know how much it hurt. We were like sisters from the beginning. It hurt even more when I started to believe what my parents told me…”
“It was hard for her, too, if I’m being honest. She didn’t understand either, and she took it to heart for a while,” Sebastian admitted, still keeping his voice gentle. “But I’m sure she’d be happy to know you’re all right. Even if things might be strained between you, she would still want the best for you. She always did.”
It was hard for me to imagine how Zoe would feel about me after we had been apart for years, but hearing his reassurance made me feel at least a little better about it. She had always been so patient and understanding with me, and I could only hope she would understand.
I nodded absently, momentarily losing myself to the regret and anger as it burned beneath my skin.
Even if I wanted to believe my parents wouldn’t mislead me, it was hard to see it any other way at that point. Sebastian had been incredibly gentle and caring ever since he found me and didn’t seem at all like that version of him they tried to sell me. He seemed so much like his younger self, aside from the addition of more maturity and life experience.
Looking at him and catching the soft gleam in his eyes was enough to tell me my parents’ stories were nothing but lies.
It was getting easier to believe his side of the story, regardless of the precarious position it put me in, left to balance between my parents and the man I always had feelings for.
Letting go of a heavy breath, I ran my fingers through my hair and felt the weight of that difficult reality rest on my shoulders. “I feel awful for ever believing them…between you and Zoe, I let my parents ruin perfectly good friendships.”
Sebastian pulled an empathetic smile for me. “It wasn’t your fault. I know it’s difficult to come to terms with, but you were groomed to think those things and to follow Jack’s questionable leadership. Be upset with your parents, yes, but don’t be angry with yourself.”
Allowing myself to find strength and reassurance in his words, I nodded slowly and met his gaze, appreciating his faith in me, even if I thought he was a monster for years. “Thanks, Sebastian.”
He nodded, maintaining eye contact as various thoughts passed through his eyes, yet I couldn’t quite decipher what he was thinking.
We settled in that silence for a moment before Sebastian chuckled, and his smile grew. “Remember that gift you made me for my birthday one year?”
Looking at him with a hint of confusion in my eyes, I furrowed my brows lightly. “Which one?”
Visibly amused, he got up from his chair as he spoke and made his way over to the unlit fireplace, where he reached for a small box on the mantle. “It was my twenty-fifth birthday, and I was about to leave to see some friends when you ran up to me, saying that you had something to give me.”
Too curious to wait, I stood and took careful steps toward him as he uncapped the box, allowing me to see the trinkets inside. He pulled out a small bracelet made with a soft leather cord, purple and white beads, and a small wolf pendant in between them. The memory sparked in my head as it dangled around his fingers, and I immediately softened.
“No way,” I murmured, feeling my cheeks warm from the reminder and because he still had it. “I remember I made it that afternoon. Zoe laughed at me, but…I wanted to give you something.”
Sebastian chuckled as his dimples showed while he smiled. “You were just a kid, but it was one of the nicest gifts I’ve ever received.”
Blinking through the slight haze of tenderness as it filled my mind, I met his eyes and couldn’t help but appreciate their joy and amusement as he looked back at me.
“And you kept it all this time…”
“Of course I did,” he hummed, taking a moment to appreciate the small gift before carefully handing it over to me. “I could never bring myself to get rid of it, especially after not knowing what happened to you. Besides, I guess something in me was hoping we could share a moment like this down the road.”
My heart squeezed at his sentiment, gladly accepting the old bracelet in my grasp, careful not to damage the fragile leather. My cheeks warmed as I smiled for him, in disbelief at the fact that he held onto it even after I disappeared. I wanted to find something—anything to say, but I was too flustered to find the words.
That tenderness in his gaze, veiled by a faint amusement, lingered as he carefully collected the bracelet from my palm and worked the clasp undone, just barely brushing his fingers against my skin. It sent an immediate shiver through my body as if electrified by his touch. I hoped with everything in me that he didn’t notice.
“Here,” Sebastian murmured, stepping closer as he leaned in and wrapped the bracelet around my wrist, doing it for me.
My brows went up in surprise, even as my ears burned. “You’re giving it to me?”
He shrugged, smiling as he gently turned it around, correcting its position. “Think of it as me…lending it to you as a token of mending things between us. Wear it for protection and support while you navigate everything.”
His words settled into my skin as I met his gaze, startled yet pulled in by the proximity. With the warmth of my skin and the gentle gleam of his eyes, it suddenly felt impossible to breathe. As if the air had been sucked from the room, and I was left to anchor myself to him.
“Sebastian…you don’t have to,” I murmured, barely managing to form the words. “It’s yours…I don’t want to ruin it.”
“Nonsense. I know you’ll take great care of it,” he reassured me, smiling as he gently held my wrist between his fingers to admire the bracelet. “It means a lot to me to see it on you.”
Blinking up at him, there was no ignoring the tension as it mounted between us, making my mind scatter and panic. Even as my heart sped up while he gazed at me and my ears burned, I couldn’t pull away. Rather, even down to a microscopic level, I was drifting toward him.
At that moment, every old feeling I ever harbored for him hit me at once, and I knew there was no beating that raw attraction I couldn’t ever shake.
He was perfect, and thanks to the revelation that he wasn’t the cold-blooded monster he was made out to be, I didn’t feel guilty about it.
Feeling like I was on fire as that space between us dwindled, my mind drifted to my parents and the lies they weaved about him, making me believe he was anything but his true, alluring self. I was angry with them and devastated to know I wasted all that time hating him and his family for no reason.
In an act of defiance and pure self-gratification, I leaned in and pressed my lips against his, finally discovering exactly what it felt like.
Sebastian returned the embrace without missing a beat, deepening the kiss and granting me the secret wish I always kept locked away.
Giving in to that attraction, I let my fingers run through his hair and drank in everything he had to offer.