Chapter 14 Wren #2
“Don’t be embarrassed,” Dex whispers as he nuzzles my head. “You don’t know how good it feels to know you’re attracted to me, too. Even with all my scars.”
“I love your scars,” I rush to reassure him as I move my fingers to trace over some of the more visible ones. “They tell me you’ve been through a lot and came out stronger.”
Dios mio! He just said he’s attracted to me, too!
My mind whirls at what he just admitted. I’m not sure what to do with that information.
His hazel eyes seem to heat, and the feeling low down in my stomach only intensifies. I move a hand to press against my lower abdomen as I ask, “Do you feel it too? Down here?”
His eyes drop to my hand, and he grunts. “I feel it a little lower than that, baby.”
I frown, wondering what he means, until understanding dawns on me. “Oh!” Suddenly, I’m imagining us being naked as I sit in his lap and feel more than my cheeks heat, unsure why that thought makes me so hot.
My eyes dart around to the other three, who are all watching me with the same heated expressions. I eye their bodies, wondering what they would all look like naked. It’s not like I could ever find out. It was illegal to have sex before marriage, and you could only marry one person.
Or was that all a lie, too? I open my mouth to ask the question, but something stops me.
What if that was a lie, too? Would they even want to have sex with me?
I barely even knew what sex was; there was no way I was ready to open that can of worms yet.
I’d only just learned that this achy feeling in my core was attraction.
And as far as I know, Dex is the only one attracted to me like that.
“Maybe it’s time we get going?” Sly asks, breaking up my internal dilemma. “Hopefully, the next stop will be for the night, and we can start ordering supplies.”
The thought of new clothes has me perking up as Dex helps me stand. Clothing may be the first thing I choose for myself as I try to figure out who I am.
The one thing I worried about is when I finally found myself, would the guys still like me? But isn’t it more important to figure out who I am? If they don’t like who I turn into, well, I’d be sad, maybe even heartbroken, but at least I’d know; at least I’d finally be me.
I let go of Dex’s hand and stop walking as I turn to face the grass. Maybe there was something I could choose for myself before buying new clothes.
“Wren? Is something wrong?” Sly asks, dropping a hand on my shoulder as his gaze follows mine to the stretch of bare grass.
“Would it be okay if we delay leaving by a couple of minutes? There’s something I want to do first.”
“Of course. What do you want to do?”
I bend down and slip off my shoes and socks as I step onto the grass, my toes wiggling with freedom.
“Find a little piece of myself.”
“What—” His question cuts off when I start running across the grass. After a few yards, I raise my arms and throw myself into a cartwheel. I move so fast my dress stays glued to my body as I giggle with unrestrained freedom.
I’ve been away from home for over a week, but this is the first moment I’ve genuinely felt free.
Thanks to the guys, I feel safe enough to let go and be myself truly.
I spin in a circle, arms wide with my head thrown back, a broad smile plastered on my face as I take in the moment.
I could never do this around Robert; he would tell me it wasn't appropriate.
Although I don't know what my penpals think about it, I have a feeling they wouldn’t say that.
I let out a small scream of surprise that quickly turns into a laugh as Pete grabs me around the waist, pulling my back against his chest as he swings me in circles fast enough that my legs fly out in front of me.
“You’re flying, angel!” he exclaims, happiness coating his voice and easing even more of my tension, not just because I know he doesn’t mind my behavior, but because he’s joining in.
He sets me on my feet, and I try to turn to him, but I get dizzy and start to fall. He reaches out to steady me, but has the same problem, and we both end up falling with me held safely across his chest as he takes the brunt of it.
We both laugh, and I drop my head to his chest, staring up at the blue sky. I feel his fingers stroke through my hair. “I don’t know what brought this on, but I love seeing you like this.”
“Sometimes, when Robert left the house, I’d run out to the yard and do cartwheels, or lie in the grass like this and stare up at the sky.”
“Well, now, you can do it whenever you want. Well, wherever we find grass. I wouldn’t suggest doing this in a motel parking lot.”
I chuckle. “Yeah, I don’t think that would feel the same somehow.”
We continue watching the clouds roll by as I take a few deep breaths, knowing we should get moving.
“Peter, do you think we’ll ever be able to stop running?”
“I do,” he says, his fingers gently threading through my hair. “One day we’ll find a home with a big backyard full of grass where we can do this every day.”
He imagined us all living together?
I close my eyes and try to picture living in a large house with these four men, and hope blooms in my stomach as I imagine a future filled with laughter and joy, rather than loneliness and fear. The image feels unattainable and perfect all at once.
“That sounds nice,” I say, and for a moment, I almost believe it’s possible, but then I remember that all five of us are being hunted. And the people chasing us? They won't stop until we’ve been caught.