21. The Signs Of A Man In Love
The Signs Of A Man In Love
Leo
Staring down at the design under my hands, I smile. Damn , that’s good. I’m not humble about my work. I know I’m great at what I do.
I’ve had a talent for art for as long as I can remember and became interested in tattoos in my early teens. I’ve put the work in, studied techniques and styles, completed my apprenticeship, and worked my way to where I am today: a successful, in- demand tattoo artist with a reputation growing faster than I can keep up with.
I travel all over the country for conventions and guest spots in other shops, but Lion Ink, right here in South Carolina, is my home and my biggest achievement.
‘Wow, boss, that is cool as fuck.’ Fi stands over me, and I nod my agreement. ‘Your work has been fire lately.’
‘Jesus, babe. She means even more than usual,’ Gus calls out, shaking his head, and I laugh.
‘You know, I have to agree, it feels different right now — like I’m more focused than I’ve been before.’
Who knew all I needed to take my work to the next level was a little clarity?
The night I saw Zoe in that restaurant, things started to change, and then that night after Bowie’s birthday party, I realized that I had to do this. I had to show her it was me.
She’s still dating. If I don’t get her on board with us — if I can’t convince her that we are supposed to be together, she’ll fall for one of the guys she’s dating, and before long, I’ll be getting invitations to engagement parties, weddings, and kids’ birthday parties.
I already saw her marry another man. It’s not happening again. The next time Zoe says I do, I’ll be the man holding her hands.
The night I sat next to her on the roof of her bar, I felt more clarity than I had in years, and it had me floating on air. I walked her home that night, kissed her cheek, and told her I’d see her soon, and now I’m just counting down the days to this weekend when I get to do just that. I have the makings of a plan — still a bit to figure out, but step one happens this weekend.
Fi sits on the stool next to my chair and reaches for her sketchbook.
‘Does it have something to do with a special someone?’
I turn to look at her, my gaze narrowing. Can she read minds now?
‘What the hell are you talking about, Fiona?’
‘ Well ,’ she grabs a pencil and starts sketching as she talks. ‘You don’t seem to have been hitting the bars recently…’
‘ Fi .’ Gus groans, but she continues.
‘You came back from Seattle and went out a few times after work, but then you just started working out more and coming into work fresh as a daisy, drinking water instead of coffee.’
I huff out a laugh. Are those the signs of a man in love?
‘I had no idea you were monitoring my social life so closely. August, you okay with your girl focusing so hard on another man?’
‘Oh, shut up. I’m just looking out for you, Leo. I want to see you happy.’
I take a breath, then blow it out, and in an uncharacteristic move, I prepare to answer Fi’s question, if only because I can’t speak to Doug about this.
‘Yes, Fi, it has to do with a special someone.’ Man, that felt good to say out loud. Fi’s eyes light up, and she turns her full attention on me. ‘It’s complicated, but yeah, it was time to change a few things up.’
‘Complicated how?’
‘Fi, baby, leave the man alone.’ Gus stands behind the reception desk where he is checking the appointment book, and I shake my head from my seat next to Fi at the sketch station we have set up.
‘Nah, she’s okay. It’s good to talk, actually.’ I surprise myself by admitting that out loud and watch as Gus moves to start opening up the shop for the day.
‘So…’ Fi pushes, and I turn to her, lowering my voice. With the door unlocked, I feel the need to keep this personal talk quiet, even though it’s still just us three here.
‘Complicated because she wants serious, and she doesn’t think I can do that.’
‘Can you?’
‘For her, I can do anything.’
Fi pulls back and grins. ‘Shit, boss. That was romantic.’ I laugh, and she puts her hand on my forearm. ‘So how are you going to prove to her that you can give her what she needs?’
‘That I don’t know yet. I’ve been focused on proving it to myself first, making sure I can be the man she needs and deserves before I give myself to her. Dropping the random hookups was easy, knowing I was doing it for her, but it’s going to take more than that to make her see I’m serious.’
My reaction to the pregnancy test robbed me of a year and a half. We could have been together if I’d just reacted differently, and the worst part of that is she read it wrong. I wasn’t relieved it was negative. I was lost in the idea of us: me and her and our baby. I was happily picturing the future, already certain the test was positive.
I could have told her that. I should have, but I didn’t. More proof I wasn’t the man she needed me to be. I am now.
‘Is she here, in the city?’ I see the sparkle in her eye in the way she asks that question. She knows who I’m talking about.
‘No, she lives in the town I grew up in.’
‘Hmm.’ She presses her lips together and starts sketching again.
‘What?’
‘Nothing.’
‘Fiona, your incessant rambling finally got me talking — don’t clam up on me now.’
She takes a deep breath and turns to me as Gus’s first appointment of the day arrives, so Fi lowers her voice.
‘Assuming we are talking about a certain sexy as all hell, tattooed half-pint who runs her own bar and happens to be your best friend’s sister.’ My small nod confirms her suspicions, and her shoulders drop a little. ‘Leo, you and Zoe are perfect for each other in so many ways from what I know of her — granted, that’s not a lot,’
‘Why does it feel like there’s a but?’
‘Because there is.’ The hand comes to my arm once more. ‘You live here, your business is here, and she lives and owns her own business over an hour away. You may be serious about her, but I just don’t know how you’ll show her you can make it work with the distance long term.’
‘It’s an hour, Fi.’
‘I know, honey. I do, but you both work long hours, and you would then need to travel the distance to be together. I’m just saying if you want this with her, you need to show her that your life in the city isn’t going to get in the way of your relationship any more than her life in the sticks will. I know you hardly ever go home, and this shop is your baby. I hope you find a way, sweetie. I just… it feels like one of you will have to give up something you love.’
She turns back to her work, and I want to comment on her sketch, compliment her improvement, and offer some feedback like I committed to do when I took her on, but her words render me speechless.
All I had considered were my feelings for Zoe. The logistics, long-term, had never entered my mind, but now they have, I can’t stop considering them. I have to get her on board. Once I do that, we can figure the rest out. As long as the thing I’m giving up isn’t her, I’ll make it work.
‘I don’t want to piss on your fire, boss,’ Fi adds softly. ‘Maybe the first thing you need to do is just take her on a date, and the rest will figure itself out.’
Take her on a date.
Take Zoe out on a real date. That’s step one — the rest will fall into place. I just have to get her to agree. After all, I have a promise to keep.
‘I’m going need your help.’
Fi smiles and nudges my shoulder with hers.
‘We’ve got the shop, boss man. You go, get the girl.’