27. You’re Not Pizza
You’re Not Pizza
Zoe
‘Bowie, go, wash your hands, baby. Pizza’s here,’ I call out as I make the short walk to the front door. I know there’s going to be water all over my bathroom if I’m not there to supervise the hand washing, but I also know the second this pizza box enters my house, that child will be on it like locusts on a cornfield, and I don’t need her toddler germs on my pepperoni.
I grab my purse from the shelf I dumped it on when we came in and am digging for cash when I open the door.
‘That was fast, how mu… you’re not pizza.’ I freeze, wide-eyed at the sight and, goddam, the scent of the man on my doorstep.
‘I’m not. I mean, I’m hot and delicious, but…’
‘Uncle Leo!’
The tiny whirlwind that rushes past me steals his attention, and I widen my eyes into the evening air above his now waist-level head.
‘Miss Bowie, I missed you.’
I glance down to see him wrap her up in his arms.
‘I missed you,’ she says sweetly while squeezing the air out of him. ‘Are you here for pizza?’
‘Um, no, I just cam…’
‘Pleeeeease eat pizza with us, please, please.’
Our eyes meet, and I shrug. What the fuck is he doing here?
‘That depends on what you ordered, Bo. You know I hate pepperoni, right?’
Bowie releases him, stepping back and gasping, horrified.
‘Oh no, I asked for pepperoni.’ Her little hands cover her mouth, and I think she might actually cry, so I step in.
‘He’s kidding, Bo.’ Leo stands, smiling, Bowie still holding his hand as his eyes meet mine. ‘Of course, Leo can stay for pizza.’
As the words leave my mouth, the tiny wings of nerves take flight in my stomach. He’s here, he’s fuckin’ beautiful, and once Bowie is asleep, we’ll be alone.
Leo passed me a little too closely as I stood frozen in the doorway. His chest was close enough to mine that the heat of his body made my traitorous nipples stand to attention, and by the smirk on his stupid, gorgeous face, he noticed.
When the pizza arrived, he jumped up to answer the door, paying and bringing it into the kitchen, where together we worked to pull out plates and dish out slices, and the whole time, my heart raced in my chest.
Having him here, in my home, with me, making Bowie so happy, it feels so good. We just fit, and it terrifies me.
I take a look at the clock as I leave the two besties on the couch watching TV and take the plates into the kitchen.
‘Okay, Bo Bo, it’s time for bed, sweetie.’
‘Uncle Leo, will you read my story?’ she asks, turning her sleepy little eyes up to him.
‘Um, of course, if Auntie Zoe doesn’t mind?’
Leo turns to me, and I shake my head, painting on a soft smile.
‘Of course not. Let’s get you cleaned up and into your pajamas first, okay?’
Bowie leads the way to the bathroom, and I get her ready for bed, making sure all the sugar from the ice cream we ate after pizza is off her little teeth. Then, I stand back as she calls for Leo.
‘I’ll go downstairs.’ I lean in to kiss her. ‘Night, Bo Bo. I love you.’
‘Love you too. Night, Auntie Zo.’
I turn to Leo. ‘When you finish her story, leave her nightlight on, and she’ll go to sleep. You can come down when you’re done.’
I’m cleaning my already clean kitchen when I feel his presence behind me. Could I always sense him like that?
Turning to face him, I inhale sharply at the soft smile curving his lips.
‘She’s so fuckin’ cute.’ He laughs lightly.
‘Is she asleep?’
‘Almost. She said I could leave.’
‘She’s so independent now.’ I swallow the lump in my throat. Why am I nervous to be around someone I’ve known forever?
‘You okay, Zo?’ He walks a little further into the kitchen, and I back up against the counter. ‘Am I scaring you or something?’ He freezes, and I meet his gaze.
‘No, of course not.’
‘You look like you’re trying to get away from me. Do you want me to leave?’
‘No.’ The word surprises me, and I see in his eyes that it surprises him, too.
‘If you want me to stay, why do you look so nervous to be around me?’ He takes another step closer, then another, and I inhale deeply. ‘Zoe, what’s going on right now?’
‘Nothing.’
‘Talk to me.’
‘Leo.’
‘Munch, talk.’
‘You walked out of my place after asking me out and disappeared, and now you’re here, in town, around my family, in my house, and it’s like a ticking bomb. I feel like I’m just waiting for you to make a move.’
‘You want me to make a move? ‘
‘Yes.’ I gasp. ‘No. I mean, I don’t know, I…’
‘Zoe, we have nothing but time.’ He steps closer, then closer still. Closing the distance between us to barely a foot and making my skin heat. My chest rises and falls, and my heart races, and I struggle to steady my breath. All I can focus on are the soft pink lips within kissing distance. He inhales slowly, then breathes out, inching closer again. ‘I’ll make a move,’ god, his voice is so low, ‘when I’m sure you’re ready for that. Right now, I’m just spending some time with my friend.’
I exhale the breath that had frozen in my lungs, and he reaches up to push my hair behind my ear, his fingers lingering on the strands between them, causing me to shiver at the sensation tickling my scalp.
‘I love your hair this color.’
‘Jesus, Leo. You’re going to drive me insane. You never say what I think you’re going to say.’
I hear the frustration in my tone. I feel the need in my body. Having him this close, his heat, his scent, and the feel of his breath on my skin is making me desperate enough that I could easily forget my reservations and drag him upstairs.
‘You’re not ready yet, Zo. You’re horny, there’s a difference.’ He steps back just a fraction. ‘Have you been dating?’
‘I told you I would.’
‘Not what I asked.’
‘Have you?’ I push out my chin a little defiantly, and he smiles as he grips it between his thumb and finger, then leans in, hovering his mouth above mine.
‘No. Not interested in anyone but you.’
‘I haven’t.’ I exhale the words in a rush of desire, and he steps forward, his body pushing out any air between us as he presses me back against the countertop, and I feel that he’s as affected as me.
‘Good.’ Leo leans in, pressing a soft kiss just below my ear before speaking softly. ‘I’m going back to the city, munch. When you’re ready, you come to me.’
Then, without warning — without giving me a chance to test that my legs, that feel like jelly, can bear the weight of my body without him pressed up against me — he steps back, then back again.
‘I want this, munch, but I can’t push you into it. You have to get there on your own. When you’re ready, I’ll be there waiting for you.’
‘Leo, I…’
‘When you’re ready, not before.’ He winks and offers me a small smile before turning and walking away. Again.
I catch my breath, steady my legs, and try to ignore the thrum of arousal between them before rushing to the living room to grab my phone and open up the group chat: The Coven.
Me: Girls, I need you. like… I really need you. Can we get together tomorrow?
Bree: Yes. Of course. My place?
Cara: Come to mine. Doug and Bo are having a night at his place.
Missy: If I can bring Jonah, I can be there.
Cara: Doug’s here. He says Jonah can have a sleepover with Bo. We’re on, girls!
Me: I love you all. I’ll bring wine. Lots and lots of wine.
And just like that, I accept that my secret can’t stay a secret anymore. If I’m ever going to figure this out, I need my girls to be in the loop.