44. I Won’t Go
I Won’t Go
Leo
I walk into the apartment to find Zoe sitting at the dining table.
‘Baby, you’re up.’ I smile, and she nods. ‘I got kind of a mix. I figured we could just dip in, share.’
‘Yeah, sure.’
I grab some plates and cutlery and head to the table with the food, leaning in to kiss her head before sitting and starting to pull out food from the bag.
‘Man, it smells good.’
I grin and try to meet her eye, knowing she’ll be excited about this, but she focuses on the table.
‘You okay?’ She raises her gaze and offers a small smile, but I know something is up. ‘Honey?’
‘I have cramps, that’s all. Let’s eat.’
She starts to help me dish out food and digs in, but she’s quiet, and I hate it.
‘This is good,’ I muse as we eat, and she nods.
‘It is, thank you for picking it up.’
‘Okay, Zoe, what’s going on? You love food, but you’re just pushing it around your plate.’
She takes a deep breath and puts down her fork, then looks at me.
‘You forgot your cell phone when you went out.’
‘Okay.’
‘You were getting a few calls, so I answered.’
My heart rate kicks up as I try to imagine which past conquest could have called to make her look so defeated. What could they have said? Fuck, please don’t say I’ve got a kid out there somewhere. Shit ! I swallow hard.
‘Jay from Big Blue said he’s emailed you some apartments that will take a six-month lease, and he can’t wait to welcome you to the shop.’
Fuck. ‘Zo, I…’
‘Six months in California?’
‘Zoe...’
She nods as she raises her watery gaze to mine. Oh, shit.
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘I just. I guess I…’ Why didn’t I tell her?
‘What about your shop?’ Her voice is small.
‘Gus can run it, and I can get an artist in to fill my spot.’
She smiles, but it’s not her usual smile. Her lips are pressed tightly together, and I see the tension in her.
‘It’s such a good opportunity for you.’
‘Munch…’
‘No, it’s fine,’ she shakes her head and forces a smile, ‘you have to think about your career. I get that.’
‘Zoe,’
‘Leo, really. It’s fine.’
‘Munch, would you shut up.’ I blow out a breath. ‘I want you to come with me.’ Her lips part, and she holds my gaze. ‘Baby, if you don’t come with me, I’m not going.’
‘Leo.’ My name is a breath on her lips.
‘Zoe, I’m not leaving you for six months after I just got you. I want you to come, but if you don’t, I’m not going.’
‘I can’t.’
‘You can, Zo, think about it. Me and you, just us, in San Diego, whale watching, going to the beach. We can take surf lessons if you want.’ I laugh lightly, but she shakes her head.
‘Leo, stop.’ She takes a breath. ‘I can’t leave for six months. I have the bar, my house, and Bowie. My family.’
‘I’m not leaving without you.’
‘You are!’ she snaps and stands, walking away from the table. I follow. ‘You have to go. This is huge, Leo. It’s Big Blue, for god’s sake.’ Her hands swing out to the side as her voice cracks.
‘Zoe, please come with me.’
‘You knew that I wouldn’t. You knew we had an expiry date.’
‘What? Munch, what the fuck are you saying?’
‘It was always going to come to an end — we were kidding ourselves. It was hard enough to see a future with you an hour away, but the other side of the country, Leo? No.’ She turns away from me to bring her hands up and wipe her tears. The tremble in her voice breaks me, but her words cut through me. ‘I can’t do this.’
‘Munch, what is…’ I step close and turn her to face me. ‘What’s happening right now?’
‘I’m going back to Forest Falls. It’s where I’m supposed to be. This, with you…’ She puts her hand on my chest for the briefest of moments. ‘It’s been magical, Leo, but we’re on different paths, and you know that.’
‘ No ,’ I yell, stepping away from her when I see her flinch. ‘No, I don’t know that, Zoe, because it’s bullshit. I love you, and you love me — how can you walk away from that?’
‘You decided to walk first.’ Her words come out as a desperate cry. ‘You knew I wouldn’t come. You knew I wouldn’t leave Forest Falls, and that’s why you didn’t tell me.’
‘Zoe…’ I hang my head, weak from the reality that she’s going to walk away from me.
‘You didn’t tell me because you knew that I would say no, but you carried on making the plans anyway.’
Fuck. She’s right… But I thought just a little more time, and I could convince her to say yes.
‘I won’t go.’ My voice is soft, desperate, but she steps away.
‘You’re going, Leo. This is your path, and you need to follow it.’
‘Were you just waiting for an out?’
She holds my gaze, silence falling between us until she steps forward into my space and holds my face in her hands.
‘I love you. I wanted to find a way, but sometimes love just isn’t enough.’
She releases my face, picks up her keys from the coffee table, and walks out of my apartment, and this time, I don’t think she’s coming back.