Chapter 31. Liam
When the day comes and Jack's mom shows up to pick them up, as she's giving Ethan a ride, Ethan looks like he's off to visit a graveyard.
"I'll miss you," I tell him, hugging him. We're in our room, and I don't even care if Jack sees us. I'm close to actual tears.
"I'll be back soon. Be good," he says, and kisses the top of my head. Something he never does in public.
"Come on, sweetheart," Jack says to Ethan. Ethan rolls his eyes at the pet name, and I snort softly.
"Stay out of trouble, Liam," he repeats, serious at first, but then a soft smile breaks through. My heart does that stupid fluttery thing.
"Always," I reply, waving them off.
And when they leave, I realize I'm about to spend the next two weeks alone with Miles.
Not going to be the best two weeks of my life.
Miles isn't much for talking or interacting.
Quiet Time starts, and without Jack to make me laugh, Harry to play cards and say stupid shit, and Ethan to cuddle, I see why Ethan decided to become such a dedicated reader.
There's simply nothing else to do, and soon I'm so bored I almost want to jump out the window. Luckily, it's locked.
I have no choice but to try and talk to Miles, whether he responds or not, just like Jack does all the time. And I realize why Jack doesn't mind whether Miles answers or not. It's better than silence.
"Like any sports, man?" I ask, and the room stays quiet, like he hasn't realized I'm talking to him. I'm not sure if I should repeat the question, but eventually he looks my way as if he's just noticed I've spoken and shrugs. That's enough of an answer.
"I'm big into sports, but I haven't figured out yet if we get to watch any NFL games here.
If we don't, I'm doomed. I'll have to call my dad every week so he can update me on the scores and the best plays," I say, laughing.
Miles doesn't laugh back. Just keeps staring.
"I was doomed to like the Dolphins. My stupid dad's a fan.
So now I get to watch us get destroyed every season. You like football?"
He doesn't answer, but he shrugs with one shoulder. That'll do.
"What are you into? I'm sorry I never asked. Sometimes my mind is so busy I forget important stuff like checking in on my friends." He keeps staring, weighing whether it's worth answering. By some miracle, he decides it is.
"I like biology."
I raise an eyebrow. I already know that, I heard him talking about it before, but I want to make him talk. "Biology? Like what part?"
He seems surprised I'm actually asking. "Microbiology," he says. "How all the organelles function perfectly in order, and each one behaves like its own little living thing."
"You're studying nursing?" I ask. He nods and sits up.
"Do you want to know more about organelles?" he asks, and I chuckle.
"Sure," I say. I couldn't care less about organelles, but I'm interested in how excited he gets, and that, for the first time since I arrived, he's actually talking to me.
For the next few minutes, I listen to everything about organelles. He talks almost nonstop, not really caring whether I'm following or not.
"So, you're saying there's like a tiny creature that carries elements into the organelle?" I ask.
“No.” He says, in disbelief that I'd say something like that, and I laugh, loud. He starts explaining it all over again with the technical terms. He doesn't care when I start laughing. I'm just happy to see him this excited.
Over the next few days, I keep showing interest in biology.
He moves from organelles to the chemical compounds inside mitochondria, and I start thinking maybe I should have gone into nursing too.
First, because Ethan is there, and second, because Miles could help me pass.
But I shake the thought. It doesn't make any sense.
If it's as hard as Miles makes it sound, and it probably is, I don't stand a chance.
I really, really miss Ethan. I miss having him close all day, every day.
I miss knowing I can go to his bed and cuddle anytime.
I miss bratting and bantering, getting on his nerves and talking nonstop.
I miss how good he makes me feel, how intelligent and dedicated he is, how safe he makes me feel.
His presence, his eyes, the way he's always on my back about stuff.
Everything. I keep listening to the radio he gave me at every possible moment, the music making me dream that we're together.
I don't even care if Miles sees the radio. I know he won't say anything.
I miss Jack too, but obviously, it isn't the same.
MMA is rougher than ever. It sucks not having everybody there, and Garrett is stuck with us.
Reed left for the break, thankfully. But Garrett is much worse than Reed.
He seems to have clocked that I'm flying solo these days, and he's itching for revenge.
Every chance he gets to train with me, which I dodge like crazy, despite Griff's rule about everyone pairing up eventually, he leans in and hisses:
"I'm gonna get you, pretty boy. Just when you least expect it, when your eyes are shut and full of shampoo, I'll get you."
It scares the crap out of me. The way he grins, all teeth, like he could give Pennywise a run for his money.
Plus, he always finds excuses to grab me during training.
If I get too close, he tries to run his hand on my ass, my dick, anything.
I'm pretty convinced the guy is a legit psycho, here for something bad, probably serious mental issues.
During the break, we get to hang out in the rec room as much as we want, except for Quiet Time.
Poor Miles can't join, and I realize I don't have any other friends there.
I spend the time staying as far from Garrett and his gang as possible.
I try climbing the big tree in the courtyard and hiding among its branches, or lying inside the trampoline, which is usually empty and queue-free.
At least there, I'm safe behind the netting. Or so I tell myself.
Griff does his rounds to check on everyone, and he always catches me solo. One day, he comes up while I'm sitting on the bench under the tree, about to climb and disappear. My heart races when I see him approach.
Did I screw up somehow?
But he just smiles. "Relax, you're not in trouble.
Actually, I've been really impressed with how you've been handling yourself these past few weeks.
The food thing, I've only had positive reports.
I want to talk about your plans after you leave here.
I do this assessment with all the guys. Let's chat after MMA today. You up for that?"
I nod, mouth dry despite his reassurances.
I have no clue what he wants to talk about regarding my future.
I never thought I'd have a career, always figured I'd die young or something.
But now it looks like I'm not dying anytime soon, and if I stay on my current path without changing, I'm headed for real prison.
This is my last shot at turning things around. I get that. It just feels unreal.
MMA is insane as usual. Griff decides he wants to kill us, and he's going to follow through.
No time to breathe between sets, and he puts us to spar constantly.
I'm so tired my lungs burn, I can't see straight with the sweat pouring into my eyes, and my hair is plastered to my forehead.
I still try my best, and when it's over, Griff comes to me.
"Good session, kid. Meet me in twenty?"
I nod, bolt to the showers to rinse off and change before heading to his office.
Garrett is there. Of course. He's naked, hand around his dick, staring at me.
I can't show him I'm scared. I have to play it cool.
So, I force myself to walk to a shower head across the room, the furthest from him.
He's tall, pale, and skinny. I can see his ribs.
He looks like a French model, even though I'm not sure how French models actually look.
His hair is long, his nose defined, his eyes glinting with something wrong.
If he wasn't such a creep, he could be beautiful.
Usually, Garrett's stare-fest is slightly less terrifying with Ethan around, because I know he'll protect me. Everybody's pretty much figured out we're together, and no one says anything. Unspoken rule: don't mess with any of the couples.
But Ethan's gone. I feel Garrett's eyes drilling into me. I focus on the wall like it's the most interesting thing I've ever seen. Doesn't matter. He turns on the water from the head next to mine. I gulp, wondering if I have time to bolt.
"I'm meeting with Griff soon," I say, hoping he gets the hint that messing with me right now would be a seriously bad move.
Garrett laughs and stays quiet for a beat. He lets the running water be the only sound in the echoing shower before he says, "I know, pretty boy. I know. I know everything about your schedule."
My stomach churns. I'm actually scared. I'm pretty sure he can do something bad to me for real, and he's just playing with his prey, stalling, letting it get to my nerves first. And it works. I'm terrified. I shut off the water and get out of there as fast as I can. His smile lingers behind me.
I head to Griff's office, still dripping, my hair's soaking my shirt and neck, but he doesn't care. The hallway is deserted, everyone else at dinner or winding down.
Griff smiles when I arrive and gestures for me to sit.
I'm nervous. Every time I'm here, it's for some kind of torture.
And yet I still like him. I guess I really am a masochist, given how much I enjoy when Ethan hurts me too.
Griff seems oblivious to my discomfort. He must be used to seeing all of us on edge.
"So, I want to go over some of your options after you leave. You're in carpentry, right?"
"Yes, sir."
"You enjoy it?"
"Yeah. It’s okay, I guess. I’m not so good, but I really like working with my hands."
"Ever had a job before, Liam?"
I nod. "I worked at Wendy's. I know it sounds lame, but I actually loved it.
I liked how the orders came in and I had to assemble them just right, keeping the fries and nuggets hot.
The teamwork. It felt like one of those restaurant mobile games," I say, laughing.
He looks at me, smiling but a little puzzled.
"Why'd you leave if you liked it?"
My heart sinks. No real reason. Just me screwing up my life, throwing away every good thing I touch. I want to joke or say something dismissive, but I can't. He has a way of making us unable to lie.
"My friends made fun of me," I confess. "They kept joking about me serving burgers. I ended up quitting and just smoking weed with those guys all day." I say, feeling pretty down. I've messed up my life in every way possible.
"Do you think that was a good decision?"
I shake my head.
"Maybe if I'd stuck around, I could've been a manager by now. I know it's not much, but it's honest work, and I would've had some money, and I wouldn't be locked up. Maybe I'd like to go back to the food industry later. Be a cook, who knows. I like my shifts in the kitchen here."
"Every type of job is a good job, no matter what it is," he says.
I nod. I'm usually into someone scolding me, but not this time. I just want to cry.
"I don't want to throw my life away," I say. "Like my mom did. And my dad too, I guess."
He knows about my mom. Usually people give me this pity face I can't stand, but he doesn't. He just nods.
"You've got a new chance to change things, and few people get new chances.
If all you needed was someone to believe in you, you have that right here.
And I'm not saying this because it's my job, because it's not.
My job is making sure you guys don't break the rules.
But I believe you can do much more than just stay out of trouble.
You can create something. Really change your own future.
It's hard work, but I know you can work hard. I see it every day. You can do it."
"Thank you, sir," I say, genuinely grateful. I can tell he cares. I've had enough people in my life who never did, and he's different.
We talk some more, and I feel good. I leave his office, wish him goodnight, convinced I'm going to have a future. I'm not going to end up like my parents, or like those deadbeat friends back home wasting their lives on drugs. I can change it.
My pep talk gets a cold splash of reality when I see Garrett waiting for me on the stairs leading to the dorm.