34. Iris
Chapter thirty-four
Iris
W e withstood the denial-of-service attack. And Hank is actually doing some work now that he’s afraid I’m going to fire him. But he’s definitely not a happy camper. That’s fine. Neither am I. At least my job requires total concentration. I can’t think about the fact that Sebastian and I are breaking up.
Because there is no other choice.
Hank stands. “I don’t think I’ve ever sat for so long before.”
Definitely not a real gamer.
He stretches.
Jazmine: Are you going to the Secret Snowflake reveal later today?
Whoops. I forgot to open the gift that was on my chair earlier today. I was so focused on making sure we survived.
Me: Yes, I think we’re okay now.
I open the gift. It’s a baseball hat that says “I’m the boss.” Well, that definitely rules out Hank as my Secret Snowflake.
“Are we allowed to leave now?” Hank asks, a mocking tone in his voice.
“Yes.” I stare at my monitor, but I don’t see anything.
I was so happy with Sebastian. Maybe I wouldn’t be bitter about stepping down or finding another job. Is Dream Company really my dream? Because I’m not sure I’m totally over the accusation and being escorted out. That was more like a nightmare. I woke up in a cold sweat last night after dreaming that Kevin proved that it was my credentials that stole the PowerPoints. I had to remind myself that he’d lied about that.
I call Raphael and leave a message, asking him if he knows of any other companies hiring.
H andmade decorations overflow the conference room Christmas tree. A red and green paper ring garland loops around it. The little siblings spent Monday afternoon crafting holiday ornaments, and clearly some of those have been added to the tree.
Sebastian is off in the corner, talking to Anita. She looks delighted. Sebastian looks like he’s trying hard to appear jolly and like he’s not hurting—after being hit by a truck.
I did that to him.
Should I have pretended there is a third way? That’s not really me—to not face up to reality.
Jazmine comes up to me. “Aaron is late, and he already knows I’m his Secret Snowflake. But I have to tell you something.”
“What?” I ask.
“I had to draft a policy today prohibiting executives dating and also prohibiting relationships between HR and any other functions because we supervise them. So, I told Xavier Aaron and I were dating, and he said one of us has to leave. I know I’m not supposed to know about you and Sebastian, but did you know this? What are you doing to do?”
“He told us the same,” I say. “What are you going to do?”
“I said he needed to give me a month to find another job, but I would resign.”
“You did? But you really like it here,” I say.
“I like Aaron a lot more.” Jazmine grins.
I stare at her. How can she be so sure? They also just started dating. Is it really that easy a decision for her?
“There’s Aaron.” Jazmine lights up. “I’ll go tell him again I’m his Secret Snowflake. He said he’s also going to look for another job, so I don’t have to quit. But you know, with all the rumors of the company closing down, everybody started searching for new jobs, so really, Xavier shouldn’t be setting ridiculous, outdated conditions. I’ve been dealing with so many people bringing competing offers. It’s a total mess.”
Aaron looks over, and his face brightens when he sees Jazmine.
Sebastian still isn’t looking in my direction.
Patrick used to find me in the crowd and sing directly to me, “I love you. You’re the only one for me.”
But I wasn’t.
But Aaron seems like a more dependable guy than Patrick. And I thought Sebastian might be…but now we’ve fumbled at the first hurdle.
Jazmine excuses herself to talk to Aaron, and I make myself a hot chocolate. The desserts don’t tempt me at all. I have no appetite.
Amelia walks in and does a double take when she sees the tree. She rushes over but then stops and seems to take a deep breath. She turns away. She must see that what Jazmine said is right—that now the tree gives off a true holiday feel.
Ernest bounds up. “I’m your Secret Snowflake.”
“You are?” I ask.
“Yes. Did you guess?”
“No,” I say. “Because I’m yours. What are the odds?”
“You’re mine?” he says. “I think that means we’re soulmates.” He winks.
Soulmates. My eyes can’t help searching for Sebastian. To cover my inattention, I say, “Or at least Secret Snowflake-mates.”
“I was afraid you guessed when I told you I knitted. You seemed so taken aback,” he says.
“That’s because my ex knitted,” I say. “I love the gloves. They’re perfect for wearing in the office, especially on weekends, when there isn’t much heat.”
“I picked the green to match your eyes,” he says. “And then I sent the calculator as a clue.”
I blush.
“Those gifts met the spending cap, but then I heard about your promotion, so I couldn’t resist buying the I’m the boss hat,” he says. “And thank you for your gifts. I should’ve guessed it was you when you included that gift for my mom.”
“Did she like it?” I ask. Sebastian is completely ignoring me. Has he accepted that we need to break up?
“She loved it,” he says. “The Florida guidebook was another great gift. And I can always use more coffee.”
He takes a big breath.
“Anyway, I just accepted another job, so if things don’t work out with that guy you’re seeing, I hope you’ll give me a second chance. Because I won’t be a work colleague anymore. And obviously, if you’re the CISO here, I can see that you wouldn’t want to date some junior in the accounting department in the same company. I mean, I’ll still be a junior in this new company, but I won’t be in this one.” Ernest loosens his tie slightly.
Ernest is a bit like a sweet puppy dog. And that’s the type I was determined to date.
But the one I want is Sebastian.
He’s talking to one of the women who works in production. She laughs and touches him on the arm. She must be his Secret Snowflake.
Odd that Sebastian never mentioned his secret snowflake gifts. Were they something special?
He’s smiling at Anita and the woman. The color is returning to his face.
That’s good.
I don’t want him to hurt. And I definitely don’t want him to return to Mr. Single Sebastian because he doesn’t think he’s worthy of love. He’s worth all of it.
Isn’t he? Worth giving up this job?