Chapter 25
Twenty-Five
Sebastian rode as if his life depended on it. No, not my life. Margot’s life. A thought which made him ride even harder.
As he rode from London and back to his estate, he could not believe how much of a fool he had been. So easily tricked. So easily taken advantage of. If anything was to happen because of how he had acted… he would never forgive himself.
Was it not for how besieged with fear Sebastian was as he rode, he might have found the will to focus on the single positive bone from this experience.
That the idea of Margot in danger brought him such peril, that he knew he would do anything to protect her, was all the proof he needed to know how he felt.
What was more, the idea that hiding from love to ease from feeling pain, rather than taking it with both arms and holding on as if it was life itself, was an outlandish notion.
One could not control how they felt, any more than they could deny it.
Sebastian had tried to deny it. He had tried to hide from it.
He had tried to beat it away like the cold winds of winter. But it had done him no good.
All that was to say that Sebastian knew now that he had fallen for his wife, and he would do anything to protect her. And whether that brought pain and misery and suffering the likes of that which he had never known… it will be worth it. Such is my love for Margot.
And so, he rode like the wind.
It had taken him nearly two hours to ride into London that morning, but it took him less than an hour to ride home. He pushed his mount up the open gate, down the drive, and to the front door, jumping from the horse before it stopped and running up the stairs without drawing a fresh breath.
The doors flew open, and inside he strode.
“Margot!” he cried, his voice booming off the walls. “Margot!”
“Your Grace!” A butler named Mr. Withers came rushing into the foyer. “You have returned!”
“Margot! Where is she!” Sebastian demanded.
Mr. Withers blinked. “I… I have not seen her since breakfast, Your Grace. I believe that she…” He bit his lip.
“What! Say it!”
He winced. “A carriage was seen arriving earlier, Your Grace. Her Grace was quick to board it – we did not see who drove the carriage. I believe it to be Lady Harcourt, her cousin. She has been known to visit.”
Sebastian’s face paled with realization. Oh no…
He did not waste time checking the house. He did not waste time in mourning. He was back outside, on his horse, and kicking it down the drive. When he reached the end, he pulled up and eyed the soft mud of the road, tracking the grooves and seeing which way they went.
Sebastian was not an expert hunter, but he knew enough to guess which way the carriage had gone. South, it looked like, away from London. And with that, he rode.
For an hour, he pushed his horse so hard he worried it might collapse. And for an hour, his mind turned as the worst of thoughts entered it. He shook them free, focusing on finding Margot, what he would do, what he would say, the promises he would make.
I did not give this marriage a chance. I know that now. And when this is all over, I will dedicate my life to making her happy. For my mother, my father… for Margot.
It was a little over an hour before he finally came upon a carriage. It moved steadily, and Sebastian frowned as he had imagined the carriage that bore Margot to be racing. But he shook his head and rode for it, not knowing why but certain this was the carriage that held his wife.
Was he not so filled with panic that he might have formulated a plan? What if Lord Ashcombe had a knife? A gun? What if he saw Sebastian coming and threatened Margot’s life? But Sebastian was too incensed to think logically, so he acted. Foolishly, but such was the way of love sometimes.
He rode up the side of the carriage and then pulled his horse in front. The horses of the carriage whinnied and kicked up, forcing the carriage to a stop.
“What’s the meaning of this!” the driver cried out angrily.
Sebastian jumped from his horse and strode past the driver to the carriage door.
There, he was about to throw the door open when it opened on its own – the passenger likely wanting to see what the cause of the commotion was.
And indeed, the passenger stood crouched in the doorway, saw Sebastian standing there with a look on his face that would make grown men cry, and his mouth dropped open in surprise.
“Yo – Your Grace!” Lord Ashcombe stammered. “This is a most surprising – woah!” Sebastian grabbed Lord Ashcombe by the scruff of the neck and ripped him from the carriage.
Then, he tossed the man onto the hard dirt of the road by his feet with a thud. And then, without thinking, without looking to see if Margot was there, without caring for the consequences, he proceeded to beat him.
The flat base of his foot drove itself into Lord Ashcombe’s gut, and the man cried out in pain. And another cry as the same foot kicked hard into his ribcage.
“Argh!” Lord Ashcombe kicked out in an effort to take Sebastian’s legs, but Sebastian dodged them, again driving his boot into the man’s side.
“You think I am a fool!” Sebastian took hold of Lord Ashcombe’s collar, pulling him into his face and snarling before punching his fist into the man’s nose.
It shattered and blood sprayed, and Sebastian punched him again.
“You think you can get away with this!” He punched him a third time and shoved him back into the dirt.
“My wife!” Sebastian roared, kicking him. Beating on him. Rage flooding his body as all he wanted to do was turn this man into a pathetic sack of blood and bone to be left here to rot. “My wife! How dare you! How dare you!”
“Money!” Lord Ashcombe squealed in pain. “The – loan! I have your money!”
“What?” Sebastian grabbed him by the collar again and lifted him from the ground. Lord Ashcombe was not a small man, but he weighed nothing in the face of Sebastian’s fury. “What did you say?”
“The loan...” He spoke thickly through the blood; it dripped from his nose and pooled in his mouth so his teeth turned pink. Not so handsome now, are you? “I have… the loan… it is legally binding…” He smiled then, and Sebastian might have just killed him.
“I am aware,” Sebastian spat, both hands now holding him by the collar so his feet dangled off the ground. “And if you think you are going to keep it –”
“A deal!” Lord Ashcombe stammered, sputtering and shaking. “I… a deal! Let us make a deal.”
Sebastian frowned, unsure what to make of this. “What are you saying? Speak!”
Lord Ashcombe had been beaten into a bloody pulp, but he wore a smile as if he had won a great victory. “I will… I will return the loan…” He spat blood on the ground. “No questions. No lawyers. I will return it happily.”
“And?”
His eyes flashed. “All you need to do…” He coughed up more blood. “Annul your marriage to Margot. Give her to me. Make her mine, and you can have your money back.”
Sebastian leaned back in disgust. “That… this is why you did this?”
“She is mine,” he seethed. “You do not love her or care for her. Take the money, walk away. Be happy.”
It was then that Sebastian saw movement out of the corner of his eyes.
He had been so incensed with beating on Lord Ashcombe that he had almost forgotten about Margot!
But she appeared in the doorway, her expression horror-struck, the midday sun shining on her as if she were an angel appearing before him.
Still holding the sniveling lord, Sebastian looked at his wife.
But not her body, that which he coveted.
Not her lips, that which he relished. He did not think of her beauty in that moment, how much he wanted her.
Rather, he met her eyes. Held them. Saw through them as if he was looking into her soul.
His heart beat – no, it sang. She was not smiling, but her eyes somehow were, and he knew in that moment that no amount of money or anything would ever be enough.
They said nothing, but that single look confirmed everything. For so long, Sebastian had denied a chance at happiness, thinking it would ruin him and bring him pain. But what he felt in that single second was such an elation that he thought his heart might burst.
Even a single second, a feeling like this one, is worth all the pain in the world. Now, I understand why my father was so angry and bitter. To lose a feeling like this… I would probably be the same.
Still, he knew it would be worth it.
“No,” he growled in Lord Ashcombe’s face.
“Wh – what?”
“I said no!” Sebastian then set Lord Ashcombe on his feet, allowed the man to find his balance, and once he had, he curled his fist into a tight ball and punched him so hard in the face that he was lifted off the ground, flew through the air, and then crashed into the dirt.
And there he lay, passed out cold.
Sebastian’s breathing was up. His temper flared. He thought his body might explode! But Margot, seeming to sense what he needed, stepped from the carriage and rested a single hand on his shoulder. The effect of this brought instant calm like a tonic. It saved him from himself.
“You… you came,” she said softly, as if she could not believe it.
“Of course I did.” He took that hand and held it to his chest. “Did you think I would not?”
She winced and looked away with shame. “I… I was not sure. And Lord Ashcombe… his offer… I… I…” Her chin trembled. “I am sorry, Sebastian. So sorry. I should have told you. I should have –”
“Stop it,” he spoke over her, although he did not raise his voice. He still had her hand pulled into his chest, and he fixed his eyes on her so she could see the love he bore for her. “This is not your fault. None of it.”
“I should have told you.”
“It makes no difference.”
“I should not have doubted you.”
He laughed. “You had every right to.”
“I –”
“You had no reason to trust me,” he cut her off again, stepping in close, his other hand cupping under her face.
“None. Since we wed, I have not given you a reason to. I have run from you, Margot. I have fought against you. I have lied to you – to myself. Everything that has happened has been my fault.”
“You…” She looked as if she did not believe him. “Truly?”
His smile grew, and he kissed her hand. “The fool I was, I thought love was something to be avoided. That the pain it might bring was worth avoiding at any cost. But now I know…” He shook his head. “Ironically, Lord Ashcombe made me realize that the opposite is true.”
“Really…” She brightened and seemed to stand taller.
“This marriage got off to a rotten start. And every step of the way has been horrid. But if you will allow me, I will spend the rest of our lives making it up to you. I will prove to you…” He laughed and shook his head. “I will prove to you that even I am capable of change.”
Her brow furrowed as she looked at him, into his eyes, searching for the truth. His heart raced as the silence built. His stomach twisted as he wondered why she was taking so long. Is it possible I am still too late…
“Maybe…” she said carefully. “But on one condition.”
He hesitated. “Which is?”
She beamed, and her hands took the side of his face. “That you let me change with you. That you show me why I deserve happiness as much as you do. I can’t help but think by now that you and I…” She shook her head as tears began to well. “That we both deserve it equally.”
There was but one thing left to do, and they did it without pause. She held his head in her hands, he cupped her chin with his spare hand, and they brought their faces together, their lips, and kissed for what felt like the first time.
It was not a kiss filled with passion as one might think.
It was not dripping with desire. It did not make Sebastian’s blood pump, his crotch stiffen, his lust roar to life as would usually be the case.
Rather, it made his heart swell so he thought it might burst. That kiss was one of shared love, fought for, earned like nothing else.
And it was as they kissed that they both seemed to understand its true meaning. This marriage was no longer convenient, for that time had come and gone. The time had finally come to admit their feelings, to live in them, to spend the rest of their lives proving these feelings to one another.
I don’t deserve this, but I am going to do everything I can to prove otherwise. Not for me, but for Margot. She deserves this, and I am just lucky that she chose me as she has.
What would come tomorrow, Sebastian did not know.
Love, yes. But there would be pain, suffering, sadness, fights, arguing, and hard times.
This was undeniable. But through it all, love would sustain them, making it worth the cost. It was a lesson he’d learned the hard way, but Sebastian realized as that kiss grew between them, it was more than worth it.
Finally, Sebastian was happy. Finally, he knew that he was capable of the change that he deserved. And that my wife deserves just as much.