Epilogue
SIX MONTHS LATER…
Margot sat with her eyes closed, relishing the feel of the sun on her face.
It was midday, cold outside but warm indoors, for the fire was lit in its hearth, and her body was always running hot these days.
And the sun… I could sit here all day and enjoy it.
With how my back and feet hurt, maybe I will.
“I thought I would find you here.” From the doorway, Sebastian spoke.
Margot snapped open her eyes and smiled to see her husband lurking. He wore a warm smile on his face, his eyes shone with adoration, and she wondered how long he had been standing there watching her. Truly, she would not have been surprised if it had been for hours.
“I have a stalker,” she joked.
He laughed. “More an admirer.”
“I’ll happily take it.”
His smile grew as he walked across the room. When he reached her, he fell to his knees, and his hand moved to her stomach. It was swollen, so large that she had taken to wearing shifts all day because most of her gowns no longer fit her. Not that she minded.
“You like this room, don’t you?” he said softly, kissing her on the forehead.
“It has a certain calm.”
“My mother used to say the same,” he said. His voice cracked slightly as it so often did when he spoke of his mother. “I never used to understand what she meant. In truth, I always thought she chose it because it was the furthest away from my father’s office.”
“I think the way the sun hits the window is the true reason,” she said with soft laughter. “And this chair…” She wiggled her buttocks. “I foresee many a night of my falling asleep in it.”
“My mother said the same,” he laughed and shook his head. “She would be happy to see it being put to good use. The room, also.”
The room she was in was the same one she had come upon all those months ago, when she had first explored the manor.
At the time, Margot had thought of it like every other room, used as a storage room for reasons Sebastian later explained.
What she had since come to learn was the reason this room was chosen specifically.
It had been his mother’s favorite room in the house, where she spent most of her days stitching and reading and simply enjoying the silence the room afforded. And before that, it had been Sebastian’s nursery.
Behind Sebastian, Margot eyed the cot that Sebastian had built just last week. She smiled at it, wondering at the child she would soon bring into this world and the love that she and Sebastian were sure to shower it with. Well, I wonder about that. I know that Sebastian is still unsure…
Indeed, where Sebastian said the right words and his actions were what were expected, whenever he entered this room, there was a shadow behind his eyes and a crack in his voice.
A nervousness seemed to haunt him, and it followed him about daily, growing slowly as the due date for their child came nearer.
“Only a few months now,” she said, easing into the conversation.
“Yes…” His smile was wide, but behind his eyes, again, that sense of worry. “I cannot wait.”
“Sebastian,” she sighed, reaching up and cupping his face. “I thought we agreed, no more lies.”
He frowned. “I am not lying.”
She snorted. “Another lie.”
“Margot…” He pulled back, his frown deepening. “You know how much I am looking forward to this – our child. I hope you do not think I am merely saying that I am.”
“I know you are not.”
“A boy or a girl, I will love them. Maybe even more than I love you,” he added with a coy wink.
She sighed and held onto his face. “I know that, which was not my meaning. Sebastian…” She made sure to be looking at him. “You are not your father.”
He winced. “I… I know I am not.”
“As you will not turn out like him. And do not dare say you have not thought on this – that it is not what worries you. I know you pretty well by now.” She raised a warning eyebrow at him and was not surprised to see Sebastian bow his head.
He wants to be the perfect husband and the perfect father. He wants to love me and our child with all his heart. But still he worries that it might be for nought, as if this is all a trick and one day his worst fears will be realized.
“What if I am…” he spoke the words softly. “What if when the baby comes, I… I…”
“You what?” she said. “You turn into a cruel, evil thing? That your heart shrivels into stone and you transform into a monster?”
“Maybe.”
She laughed. “Do you remember what you told me about your father? And not how cruel and cold he was. But how much he loved your mother.”
“He did,” he said as if he needed to confirm it. “But –”
“Your mother had nothing to do with who your father was. His love for her, her death…” She shook her head. “He did not change when they married and fell in love. In fact, I suspect that he was a much worse sort before he met your mother.”
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
“That your mother healed him,” she explained. “That, for a short time, she made him a better man. We can change, Sebastian, but only so much. You and I have both proven that. Your mother changed him, kept him happy as best she could.”
“You think so?”
“I think that he started from a worse place, and she brought him to a better one. When he lost her, well…” She shook her head. “He returned to that same dark place. That happens sometimes.”
“What if I…”
She kept that eyebrow raised. “Turn into a rakish bachelor again?” She laughed. “You are not an evil man, Sebastian. A little confused at times, but not cruel. And I like to think that with me here, I do well keeping you in line.”
He laughed. “Better than well.”
“And when our child is born, they will do the same. You have so much love to give, even more when the time comes.” She took his hand and rested it on her belly. “And I just know you’ll make a wonderful father.”
“Only because I have you,” he said.
“Well, obviously,” she joked and then leaned in and kissed him on the lips.
He smiled, and she could see the tension leave him. Then he held his hands to her belly a moment longer, his eyes shimmering as he felt his child shift. “I… I did come here for a reason,” he said finally.
“Oh? Not to stare at me?”
He laughed. “Sadly, no.” He groaned and pushed himself to his feet. “I must head into London. The Wicked Dukes,” he added with a wink. “They call.”
She scoffed. “When are you going to change that name?”
“Once our souls are saved, I suspect,” he laughed. “I will be home early…” He started toward the door. “And you’ll be…”
“Right here.”
“I love you,” he said when he reached the door.
“I love you too,” she said back. He stayed there a moment, watching her, taking her in as if his life depended on it. And then, a final smile, and he was gone.
Margot exhaled as she turned back to face the sun, closing her eyes while resting both hands on her belly. Times like this, she liked to look to the future. Once, it was the past that she focused on, as that had defined her for so long. But those times were behind her.
Who she was, what she had once believed, no longer mattered.
She was somebody’s wife now, soon to be a mother.
She loved her husband; he loved her in return, and that was what mattered.
For so long, she had wondered if she deserved happiness or if her life was set to be doomed, as had been the theme for so many years. And now…
Now I am finally willing to admit that this is what I deserve. I chased it for so long. I wanted it more than anything. And that I have it, I’m not about to let it go.
This was Margot’s life, and where she once would have said that change was a good thing, in this, she was prepared to be proven incorrect. Let it all stay the same, and she would die a happy woman. And that, she knew, was well deserved.
The End?