Chapter Nineteen
SATURDAY FLEW BY in a whirlwind of anticipation.
Birdie had been ridiculously productive all day, to the point that Quinn had asked her if she’d been chugging caffeine.
She was dying to say no, that she was fueled by something better, and share her excitement over her date with Crew. But she didn’t dare.
She and Crew had been texting on and off all afternoon. They weren’t intensely deep or sexy texts. They were better—just flirty enough to keep her grinning like a fool every time one of his messages rolled in.
Do I need knee pads for this? he’d asked. Only if you plan on falling for me, she’d replied. Later, when she’d sent a picture of the bright pink leg warmers she was going to wear and had asked if he regretted his decision yet, he’d replied, I have never been more confident about a life choice.
That one sat giddily in her chest all day.
By the time evening rolled around, she was practically vibrating.
She changed clothes a dozen times and finally decided on a black off-the-shoulder minidress with a white drop-waist studded belt over bright pink leggings, with the matching leg warmers.
White plastic hoops dangled from her ears, a long string of fake pearls hung around her neck, knotted below her chest, and pink fingerless gloves pulled it all together.
She wrapped a black lace scarf around her head just behind her overly teased bangs and tied it into a bow.
She took one last look in her bedroom mirror, debating her chunky-heeled black ankle boots. Were they too much or perfectly Madonnaish? Headlights swept across the front windows, and her pulse kicked up.
Worries be damned, she ran downstairs and threw open the front door.
A burst of cool air rushed in as Crew stepped onto the porch, and her heart did a double take.
He looked like he’d walked out of an eighties movie in a red-and-white letterman jacket, jeans that hugged him in all the best places, and black Converse.
His gaze raked down the length of her, a slow, appreciative grin sliding into place. “Damn, Trouble. The eighties have never looked so good.”
Relief and delight swept through her. “Thanks!” She grabbed his jacket and pulled him closer. “You look hot. I can’t believe you have a letterman jacket.”
“Once I saw your pink leg warmers, I knew I had to go all in. I googled eighties clothes, and it just so happened I had this in a box of my stuff from my college rugby days.” He opened his jacket, showing her the denim button-down and white T-shirt beneath.
She felt giddy again, knowing he went all in for her.
“Rugby, huh? That’s a cool sport. Do you have any of those sexy little rugby shorts in that box? Because I definitely need to see you in those.”
“Is that so?” He leaned in for a kiss but stopped short and pulled back, glancing over his shoulder. His expression turned serious. “We probably shouldn’t do that here. I don’t want to cause trouble for you with your family.”
She had a love-hate relationship with his thoughtfulness, but she knew he was right.
“Are you sure going out tonight is safe?” he asked.
“The rink is an hour away, and it’s roller skating. Nobody we know will see us.”
She grabbed her phone and keys and headed out to his SUV. “I decorated the shop for Halloween today,” she said as she climbed into his SUV. “You have to see how cute it is!”
When he climbed in behind the wheel, she scrolled through pictures on her phone of the front windows draped in gauzy black netting, white chocolate skulls, tiny white lights around pumpkin-shaped chocolates, and truffles dusted in edible gold.
Inside the shop, the display case had been transformed into a graveyard with chocolate tombstones, skeleton-shaped chocolates with white piping, chocolate spiders, miniature chocolate haunted houses with candy corn fences, and a towering dark chocolate witch’s hat.
Throughout the shop, they’d hung fabric bats and ghosts.
Plastic skeletons climbed out of gift boxes, and chocolates were wrapped in orange and black packages.
“Wow, you really go all out. That looks incredible. I wish I could see it in person.”
“Me too.” Longing swelled between them. She was not going to let their night be a downer, though, and said, “Customers get so excited when they see it, but the shop is nothing compared to what I usually do here at home. I don’t get to hand out candy, because I’ll be at the Trunk or Treat event at the ranch, but I leave candy on the front porch, so I can see the kids’ faces on my security camera.
They’re so cute! I doubt I’ll have time to get it done this year, but next year it’s going to be a ghostly extravaganza. ”
“Did you make all that chocolate just for Halloween?” he asked as he started the engine.
“Just for Halloween? Halloween is a big deal for kids, and it only comes once a year, so we do it up right. Well, we do that for every holiday, really.”
On the drive to the rink, they talked about her love of decorating for holidays, and Crew told her about some of his and Robbie’s best Halloween costumes.
When they arrived at the rink, it was already crowded.
Disco lights flashed over skaters as they made their way around the room in blurs of neon, metallics, and denim.
Crew seemed a little nervous, scanning their surroundings.
Birdie laced their fingers together, drawing his attention. “Stop worrying. Can you even imagine any of my brothers in this place?”
He looked around, his jaw tight, and then he shook his head, a nearly silent laugh falling from his lips. Unlacing their fingers, he swept his arm around her and kissed her senseless.
“Now, that’s more like it,” she said, hugging him.
His arm stayed around her as they got their skates and went to find someplace to put them on.
“Do you know how to skate?” she asked as they laced their skates.
He wiggled his hand in a more or less motion.
Crew was so big and strong, it was hard to imagine there was anything he couldn’t do. “Don’t worry. I’ll hold your hand, and I won’t go too fast.”
“I appreciate that.” He glanced up from his laces, his expression earnest.
“Stick with me, and you’ll be fine. I love roller-skating and ice-skating.”
“I hope you pay better attention on skates than you do when you’re skiing,” he teased.
“Hey, that was only half my fault.”
He leaned in and kissed her. “I trust you, Trouble.”
“I’ll be right back. I’m going to put our stuff in a locker.” Birdie popped to her feet, gathered up their shoes and jackets, and put them in a locker, feeling the heat of his stare the whole way.
He held her gaze as she skated back. “You look pretty sexy on those skates.”
“Wait until you see what I can do out there.” She offered her hand, tugging him upright. He wobbled, his skates sliding forward and back, his big body jerking unsteadily. She grabbed his waist with both hands, steadying him. “Easy,” she coaxed.
“Sorry about that,” he said, holding on to her.
“It’s okay.” She tipped her face up. “I’ll take any excuse to get my hands on you.”
His grin said almost as much as the kiss that followed.
“I think I can do this.” He put one hand out for balance and moved his feet slowly, leaning forward and back, hanging on to her arm.
“You’re doing great,” Birdie encouraged as they made their way onto the rink.
Crew immediately grabbed the wall.
She moved in front of him, holding out her hands. “Take my hands. We’ll go slow, and I’ll skate backward so you can hold on to me.”
He took her hands, and she let him lead the pace, careful not to go too fast. His skates scooted along the floor in stilted movements.
His eyes never left hers as people whizzed by, dancing on their skates.
Crew stumbled, and she caught him, both of them laughing as she tried her best to steady him without losing her balance, too.
“That smile gets me every time,” he said.
“Are you blaming me for your stumble?” Most guys would be too embarrassed to even try to skate, but here he was, getting tripped up and not caring who saw.
“It’s not my fault you’re distracting.” Eyeing her lustfully, he said, “Hot yoga obviously does a body good.”
Her stomach flip-flopped.
“If I break something, you’re morally obligated to keep going out with me,” he said playfully.
God, she was crazy about him. “I think that’s legally binding, actually.”
“I’m holding you to that.”
They laughed and joked as they skated around the rink at a snail’s pace.
“You’re getting it,” she exclaimed, skating a little faster.
“I have a great teacher,” he said. “I think I can do this on my own now.”
He let go of her hands, and before she could take a breath, he shot past her like a rocket, tossing a wicked smile over his shoulder as he effortlessly weaved around other skaters. She couldn’t believe it, and skated after him, but he was too fast, and she lost sight of him in the crowd.
She skated toward the inner circle, scanning the rink, when two hands gripped her waist from behind, lifting her off the floor. She shrieked as he lifted her higher. Crew grinned up at her, skating in the middle of the rink, holding her up in front of him.
“You can skate!” she exclaimed.
“Years of ice hockey.” He set her down, as steady as a rock, then took her hand, and they skated around the rink.
She stared at him, breathless and exhilarated. “Why did you pretend not to know how?”
“Any excuse to get my hands on you,” he parroted with a wolfish grin, and spun around, skating backward in front of her. “Are you mad?”
She shook her head, an unstoppable smile making her cheeks hurt. “No. But now you’re in really big trouble because I think I love you.”
They both laughed.
They skated until their legs burned, holding hands, bumping hips, dancing, laughing, and kissing every chance they got. When they finally took a break, they got sodas, burgers, and fries from the refreshment area and collapsed into plastic chairs.
“This is so fun,” she said. “Thank you for coming with me. Are you having as much fun as I am?”
“I’m having a great time. Everything is fun when I’m with you.
” He leaned in and kissed her. He stayed close, draping one arm around her shoulders, cupping her cheek with his other hand.
Looking at her thoughtfully, he brushed his thumb over her lower lip and said, “I haven’t felt anything good for so long, and I don’t know how I got so lucky that night at the slopes, but I’m really glad our paths crossed. ”
Her heart skidded. “So am I.”
They kissed again, and as Crew sat back, Birdie’s gaze moved over his shoulder, and her heart nearly stopped as two Dark Knights walked in with their families in tow. She froze.
Crew followed her gaze, his shoulders rising. Their eyes met as he turned back to her.
“We should go,” they said in unison.
They scrambled to take off their skates. “For the first time in my life, I wish I blended in,” Birdie said quietly.
Crew shrugged out of his denim shirt and draped it around her shoulders. “I’ll get our stuff from the locker and a bag for the food.”
A few minutes later they were heading for the door. Crew held her close, shielding her with his body from the men in the leather vests and their families. His arm stayed firmly around her as they hurried outside and rushed toward his SUV.
“I can’t believe that happened. I’m so sorry,” Birdie said.
“Don’t,” he warned, glancing behind them. “We both knew the risks.” He quickly unlocked the passenger door and helped her in.
Her pulse was still sprinting as Crew climbed in behind the wheel. He started the engine, the glow of the dash feeling too bright. Birdie stared straight ahead, her heart in tatters.
“This feels like I’m fifteen again, only worse,” she finally said. “I’m so sorry, Crew.”
He reached across the console and took her hand. “It’s not your fault. I wanted to be there. When I’m with you, it’s too easy to forget that I’m not free to be who I want to be. I’m still locked in a fucking prison for what I’ve done, and I’m not saying I don’t deserve it—”
“Crew—”
“No, Birdie, please hear me out. I’m not saying I don’t want to be with you. I’m just acknowledging the truth.”
“I hate that truth,” she said. “It’s not like you had a drinking problem and went out for joy rides every night of the week.”
“Whether I did it once or a hundred times doesn’t matter. It was wrong, and there were tragic consequences. That’s my fault.”
“You have to forgive yourself at some point.” She wanted that for him, but even as she said it, she had no idea how he, or anyone else, could ever let go of that kind of guilt.
He scoffed. “I don’t think that will ever happen. It feels wrong to want it to.”
“I get it, but that breaks my heart. I hope Colleen can help you see that you don’t deserve to live with that kind of guilt forever.
” She curled her fingers around his, emotions clogging her throat.
“Can we get out of here? I know a place we can go. It’s one of the places I go when I want to leave the world behind. ”
“That sounds perfect.”