23. Hazel
TWENTY-THREE
Hazel
I can’t move. I can’t speak or blink. And I realize I can’t breathe. The burn in my lungs gets stronger as my eyes go blurry.
“Hazel.” Someone is talking to me. “Hazel!”
Hands grip my shoulders and shake me. I blink, the tears spilling down my cheeks as I finally suck in a breath of air.
It’s Easton. Easton is standing in front of me. I’m in Easton’s house.
“It’s going to be okay. You hear me? It’s going to be fine. He’s nowhere near us, and they’re going to catch him. The police are going to catch him.”
Neil. The police are going to catch Neil James. That’s what he’s talking about because Neil…because Neil…
“How could this happen?” It’s the first thing I manage to say, and Easton guides me backward until my legs hit the couch and I collapse.
The tears are coming, but I can’t really feel myself crying. I can’t feel much at all, in fact. And I’m not processing anything around me.
“Hazel.” Easton is still there. Right, because, of course, he is. This is his house. “I need you to look at me, honey.”
He’s asked me to do something, but I can’t for the life of me remember what it was. Then, his fingers are on my chin, moving my head so that I look at him.
He’s there. He’s really there. Right?
“Easton?” He offers me a comforting smile, one that is laced with concern and worry.
“Yeah, Haze. I’m right here. Can you breathe for me?”
I nod, doing my best to take a deep breath, and then it all shatters.
I’m looking at Easton and crying because Neil James broke out of prison. He broke out, and he’s going to come after me. He’s already sent someone once.
My breaths are flying in and out of me now. I’m hyperventilating. Everything is spinning, and then arms wrap around me, pulling me against something firm and warm.
I bury myself in that sensation. In Easton.
It’s several moments before I finally have a handle on myself, but I do. I clear my throat, and I look up at Easton, nodding my head in a silent “I’m alright. I’m not breaking down anymore.”
He relaxes but only a hair. After another moment, he leans away from me to grab the box of tissues. I snag one, dabbing at my face and blowing my nose with another.
“I don’t understand how this could happen. It’s 2025. Can people really still orchestrate prison breaks? Our security isn’t better than that?”
The panic isn’t gone, but there’s a horrible frustration and rage that swims up alongside it. They’re enough to keep me from disassociating again, but I’m not sure if that’s a good thing.
I was attacked in an alley in Red Lodge. Neil knows where I am. He’s coming.
My breathing accelerates again, and Easton rubs his hands up and down my arms. “Focus right here, Hazel. Focus on the feeling of my hands, on the couch beneath you.”
He’s trying his best, and I do, too. I try to focus on the sensations. But all I can see when I blink is that damned Halloween mask, memories of pain rushing to the surface.
“He’s going to come after me. He’s going to come here.”
My voice is almost unintelligible through the sobs, the racking breaths that shake me.
“He’s not going to get that far. Okay? The police are going to find him. There’s a lot of ground between California and Montana. Neil’s going to get caught.”
“He wants revenge, Easton.” I snap my eyes to his, feeling so broken and cold and terrified. “I put him in prison, and he wants to get back at me for it. That man who attacked me?—”
My words falter on a hiccuping cry, and I crumble, hanging my head in my hands.
“…he said Neil knew where I was.”
“Hazel, I?—”
“I was the star witness at his trial!” I glance up, glaring because if I can be angry, it doesn’t hurt so much.
“What better way to get back at all the people who landed him in prison than starting with me. He kidnapped me and assaulted me, planned on selling me to men who’d do the same!
That monster is going to find me, and?—”
Easton yanks me into his arms again, not letting me say it, not letting me say the truth. “I won’t let him, Hazel. I swear to you. I will keep you safe. I’ll do anything to keep you safe.”
I want to believe him. I want to hear Easton’s words and be comforted, but everything feels like it’s spinning out of control, taking me down with it.
“I need you to breathe for me, okay?” He lifts my face, forcing me to meet his eyes. “Suck in a breath. That’s it. Nice and slow. Count to four. Then hold it, and let it go for six.”
I know these breathing exercises. My therapist in LA used them. It’s stupid, but I let Easton guide me through just taking breaths.
He must’ve learned this after his time in the military. God, what kinds of things did he see there?
“You’re doing really good, Hazel. But I need you here, in your body. Can you tell me five things you can see?”
My eyes well up, but this is good. I know this training, and I can use it.
“The floor. The coffee table. The TV.” Which is thankfully turned off right now. “My legs. And you. I can see you, Easton.”
“Yes, you can.” He nods, the corner of his mouth lifting. “Four things you can hear.”
“My breathing. The wind outside. Jade’s game upstairs. Your voice.”
His smile is a little wider now, and I lock onto it, grounding myself in his presence.
“Three things you can smell.”
“The bacon from before. The dish soap fragrance on my skin. Your aftershave.”
Easton is right here. Easton is right here, and he’s walking me through this. He’s here for me. Just like he said he would be.
“Two things you can feel.”
“The couch under me. Your hands on my shoulders.”
“One thing you can taste.”
I shortcircuit slightly, my eyes tumbling to the ground as I try to think of something. It’s not supposed to be that hard. It’s not supposed to be another stressor.
But then Easton’s hands move up to my face, and he pulls me close, planting a gentle kiss on my lips.
When I lean back, he gives me a hopeful smile, and I return it. “You. I can taste you.”
“Good job.” His hands rub up and down my arms again, and I take in a shaky but full breath. “We’re going to get through this together, okay? I’m right here. And you know what? I’m going to call the sheriff. I’m going to tell him about all this and insist he do something to help you.”
Nodding, I relax into the couch, grabbing a pillow from behind me and clutching it to my chest. Easton doesn’t go far. He stands right in front of me, pacing while he makes the call.
I hear him talking, but I don’t really pay attention to it. As much as he’s calmed me, my mind is still racing with what-ifs.
What if Easton can’t protect me? What if Neil is too much for him?
Easton might protect people for a living, but I can’t ask him to drop his other clients to help me. He’s already got so much on his plate, and there are people who need him.
And what about Jade?
She’s totally innocent in all this, and if something happened to her, I would never forgive myself.
What if my baggage hurts that little girl?
“Hey,” Easton grabs my attention, kneeling in front of me again, with the phone pressed to his ear, “I mean it. As long as you’re with me, you're safe. I see you worrying. Don’t. I’ve got a network of other bodyguards to help out with the business. We got this, Haze. I promise you.”
I don’t want to be scared right now, so I choose to believe him.
I want to believe him.
Looking across at him, I nod, forcing a smile. “Okay.”