35. Brooks
THIRTY-FIVE
Brooks
Dust clings to my skin as I drag myself inside to take a shower. I’ve thrown myself into my work today, and I’m not going to think about why.
It doesn’t end well.
Because you’re a moron, and everything sucks.
“See, this is precisely why I didn’t want to think about this shit,” I mumble to myself, trekking up the stairs toward my bathroom.
Moving on autopilot, I haul myself up into the master bath and strip down. I’m gross, and a shower is mandatory before I do anything else. I toss the clothes in the hamper and then pad over to the shower.
I reach inside the shower to get it going and make sure I have a towel ready for when I get out. When the water is warm enough, I step inside. As soon as the shower spray hits me, I sigh with relief.
“Ugh, there we go.”
Scrubbing up, I get all the dust and grime and grit and dirt off my skin, leaving nothing but that “zestfully clean” feeling from the Irish Spring soap.
My mind tries to circle back to less pleasant thoughts, but I push them away as I quickly wash my hair. Clean from top to bottom, I turn off the water and step out, wrapping a towel around my hips.
There’s a small towel by the sink for my hair, and I squeeze the fabric around the locks to squish out the water. From there, I have to get dressed and head back downstairs. Darby will be needing dinner, and I have to…manage myself around Clover.
When I get downstairs, though, I can’t find either of them in the kitchen. Swinging through the dining room and then living room, I don’t see them there either.
“Where are they?” Confusion spikes, but I’m sure it’s nothing. “Darby! Clover!”
There’s no answer, even after I call out a few times. Okay, now I’m nervous .
I’m tearing through the house in seconds, going to every damn room in search of them. Nothing in the kitchen again, nothing in my home office, and nothing in the downstairs bathroom.
Dashing over to the other side of the house, I check Clover’s room, but nothing—again.
“Dammit.” I feel the tension ratchet up my spine as the worry surges higher. “Clover! Darby! This isn’t funny!”
I hurry upstairs, checking the laundry room, the other spare bedroom, and my room for some dumb reason. They aren’t in any of them. That’s when it hits me to go check Darby’s room.
Because, again, I’m an idiot.
When I get there, I immediately feel a cool breeze on my skin. Darby’s window is open, and the air is rushing over my sweaty skin.
So much for that shower.
I run up to the window, looking out with my hands on the ledge. Something crunches beneath my fingers.
Glancing down, I see it’s a piece of paper.
“Come up?” I shake my head, my brow furrowing. “What the hell does that mean?”
As I stare out the window again, I see the edge of the roof. Darby likes to climb out there. I’ve told him not to, but…
“Darby!” I push myself through the window, climbing onto the roof. “Are you out here?”
Stepping further up past the lip of the roof that covers Darby’s window, I see them. Clover and my daredevil of a kid are sitting on a picnic blanket—complete with a basket full of food—smiling over at me.
“What is all this?” I’m taken aback, but I glare slightly at Darby. “You know it’s dangerous out here.”
Darby’s eyes go immediately to pleading, and he raises his brows as his grin works harder.
“It’s okay. I swear! We’re having a picnic!” He points down at the basket and then out toward the sky. “We can watch the stars come out!”
My head is spinning as I look from Darby to Clover. She smiles at me, this genuine, apologetic smile, and shrugs one shoulder.
“It’ll be nice, right? Some good food under the stars? You deserve a break, Brooks.”
All the worry and frustration melt away. I’m warmed through to my spine, and as much as I want to scold my son for climbing out here, I can’t.
This is way too nice. And I know exactly who planned it.
“Thank you.” I grin at them, nodding slowly. “Darby, why don’t you get set up? Clover, can I talk to you for a second?”
They both offer me a worried look, and I can see Darby’s expression drop. “No one is in trouble.”
Grins fall back into place, and Clover stands up. “Sure, Brooks. We’ll be right back, kiddo.”
“Okay!” Darby is back to being enthusiastic, and he starts pulling way too much food from the basket for just the three of us.
When Clover reaches me, I take her hand, guiding us back toward the window, and make sure that she gets inside alright.
As we stand in Darby’s bedroom—memorabilia of his childhood surrounding us, balls, awards, and posters of his favorite movies—I look down at Clover, utterly blown away by what she did.
For me.
“What’s this about, Clover? Why did you do all this?” I shake my head, my brain unable to understand why she would do this after we just argued last night—as quiet as it might have been.
Clover sucks in a deep breath as if she’s been thinking about what she’s about to say to me all day. I can see her gathering the courage, and then she opens up, letting it all out.
“There was a miscommunication, Brooks.” Clover sighs, reaching out and taking my hands. “It’s just as much on me as it is on you, too. I should have been more clear. Kyle, the horrid boss that’s presently threatening me? Well, he threatened Darby, too. He had a picture. I…I didn’t want to worry you, but you need to know. That’s why I was considering going back. To keep Darby safe.”
“Floored” is a gentle way to put it. Still, what Clover’s saying makes her mood yesterday make so much more sense. She wasn’t conflicted because of her overwhelming love of work.
She was scared—for my son.
“You—” I shake my head again, trying to find the right words. “Kyle threatened Darby. He had a picture of him?”
Clover pulls out her phone, swiping open the screen to an image in her text threads. It’s the two of them, Darby and Clover, playing in the park.
“Oh my God.” My heart is beating furiously, but I also realize something else. “Wait. You were…you were protecting him? You were going to go back and do what Kyle wanted to keep Darby safe?”
“I was going to try, yeah.” Clover nods, her smile sad and honest. “But I don’t think that’s the best move. If I went there and ‘failed’ with Kyle again, there would be nothing stopping him from coming after Darby anyway. No one would know what he was trying to do if I got hurt or…dead. Kyle would get away with that and then come after you guys. I think…I think we need to stick together.”
“Clover, I…” It takes me a minute to find the words, but I pull her closer, my hands going to her face. “You were protecting him, protecting me. I…goddamn, Lucky, I’m so sorry for what I said yesterday.”
She smiles as a tear breaks free, and I swipe it away with my thumb before crashing my lips against hers. Our tongues dance together as we fall into the kiss.
But then I slip back because there’s still something on my mind. I keep my hands on Clover’s face, meeting her eyes with everything I have.
“Stick together? So…you’re not leaving?”
Grinning through the tears, Clover shakes her head. “No. At least not right now. I might have to go back to deal with all that stuff, my work, but it’s not safe to go back. And…I don’t want to. I want to…be here.”
My cheeks ache from smiling so hard, and I kiss her again, pulling Clover to my lips as I give my all to the kiss. She feels so right against me, and I see so much more truth than I did before.
I was stupid. I was letting myself fall into bad habits. And as much as Clover should have told me right away, I can hardly blame her for being hesitant.
She was trying to protect us, after all—from Kyle. Kyle .
I lift Clover’s chin, getting her to look at me as we finish our kiss. “I won’t let him hurt you. You hear me? I will do everything I can to protect you and Darby from Kyle. He won’t touch you.”
Clover’s composure cracks all the more, and she lets out a little sob that’s equal parts gratitude and fear.
“Thank you. Really .” She drops her head to my chest, and I hold her there as she collects herself. “I don’t know what we’re going to do about him, but I’m glad that you’re here with me.”
Looking back up at me, Clover slides her hand from my chest to my cheek. “I don’t want to do this alone, and I don’t really want to do it with anyone else.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Lucky. You can count on that.”
Kissing me again, Clover smiles against my lips, and I lean into the embrace, needing to feel her in my arms.
As much as my logical mind wants to pick at the details and dwell on the unknowns, I’m going to allow myself this moment. I’m going to enjoy myself for once.
“Well,” I step back, holding Clover’s hand as I gesture toward the window, “shall we?”
She nods. “Yeah.”
We climb back out onto the roof. Darby has set up an incredible feast on the picnic blanket, and the sun is just starting to set, the swirling colors better than any photograph or painting can capture.
“God! You took forever!” Darby calls out, patting the blanket by him. “Come on!”
Clover crosses the roof carefully, sitting next to Darby, and I sit right across from them. She hands me a beer as she takes one for herself, and Darby holds up a glass bottle of Coke.
“Cheers, boys.” Clover offers a wink, holding up her drink. “To much-deserved breaks and…good tomorrows ahead of us.”
Darby grins so damn wide, and I’m right behind him. We both hold up our beverages, and everyone clinks them together.
The air is warm, and I hear crickets singing down below us. Even as the breeze picks up, it’s plenty hot enough outside to make staying out under the stars comfortable.
Sandwiches and chips fill us up as the sky grows darker and darker. Darby laughs as Clover tells him terrible jokes, and then he perks up as an idea hits.
“Ooh, let’s play the movie game!”
Clover furrows her brow. “The movie game?”
“We go around the circle, going through the alphabet, and say a movie title or character name that starts with that letter. So we could start with A and say Annihilation . Make sense?”
I smile as Clover tosses her head back with an exaggerated “Oh!”
She nods, Darby bouncing happily where he sits. “Got it. Sure. Let’s play!”
The game starts up while we keep munching away and sipping on our drinks. It’s a wonderful night, so unexpected in so many ways, and I am truly happy in the moment.
I’m with the people I love. What’s not to be happy about, right?
Freezing in place a little, my heart skips as I realize what I just thought—the people I love, including Clover.
Well, shit.
But who am I kidding? Of course, I love her. I’ve known it’s been happening for a while now. The thought was just so organic. These are the people I love. End of story.
My chest pinches, and I have to recenter myself. Clover isn’t leaving, but that prospect might still be on the table in the future.
All I can do is hope and pray she doesn’t, though, and be the best partner I can be for her. Because if Clover leaves, she’ll take my heart with her—the whole fucking thing, not just a piece, and I won’t survive without it.