Chapter 4
ALEXEI
The sound of my shoes on the polished wood floor fills the corridor as I make my way to meet her—the woman who’s going to be taking care of my son. At my side, Max keeps pace with me, even though he’s practically sprinting to keep up.
“You need me to slow down?” I ask him, and he shakes his head resolutely. I should have known that would be his response.
These last couple of years, he’s been determined to prove that he’s capable of matching me in any way he can.
Of course, he has no idea what it would actually mean for him to step into my shoes, but, as long as he’s still my little boy, I’m not going to expose him to the harshness at the heart of my world before it is neccessary.
And that is, in fact, part of why I’ve hired this live-in nanny to take care of him and make sure that he keeps up with his education.
I could have sent him to one of the half-dozen or so exclusive private schools in the city, and I’m sure more than a few of them saw dollar signs in their eyes when I had visited to scope out the possibility, but there’s no way in hell I’m going to leave my son exposed like that.
Outside of this house, I can’t keep him safe, not in the way I want to. In my home, I’ve control over every detail, every guard, every code that protects him from the outside world. But the moment he steps outside of this place, the whole world has access to him.
Out there, in the real world, he is the son of one of the most powerful men in the city.
The kind of leverage that so many of my enemies would kill—literally—to have over me.
It’s why I keep the truth of his existence wrapped up as carefully as I do, why I make sure that nobody who doesn’t need to know about him will ever find out he exists.
Outside of this house, he’s little more than a ghost, but now he’s getting older, I don’t want him to fall behind his peers. By the time he’s an adult, he needs to be ready to step out into the world, capable of handling his own shit in any way he can.
And it’s up to me to make that happen.
“You ready to meet your nanny?” I ask him, and he pauses for a moment outside the door, hesitant.
For so long, it’s been just me and him; sure, I’ve help from the others who live and work here, but they are close enough to family that he knows no different.
This is the first time he’ll have had someone new step into his world, and it makes sense that he’d be a little nervous.
But if there is one thing I want my son to take from me, it’s the same thing I took from my father; hold your head high, and walk into every room like you own it.
Still, there’s a vulnerability to this decision. I reach my arm around him as we walk, tightening my grip on his shoulders slightly. You could call me paranoid if you want, but I’d rather be paranoid than let anything befall my son.
I turn the corner into the kitchen, and there she is, the woman who I’ve hired as his nanny and full-time caretaker.
Her eyes widen when they meet mine, a bright blue that glistens in the sunlight pouring in through the window beyond.
She’s holding a coffee cup, which she swiftly casts aside as soon as she sees me.
“Hey,” she greets me, extending a hand in my direction. “I’m Cara, I’m the new nanny.”
I reach out to take her hand, and, for a moment, something flickers inside of me.
Recognition? There’s something about the tone of her voice that makes my ears prick up, something that demands my attention, whether I want to acknowledge it or not.
I eye her for a moment, trying to place her, but her features don’t seem to hold any familiarity to me.
Maybe it’s my imagination. I drop her hand, stepping back behind Max and placing my hands on his shoulders.
“I’m Alex,” I reply. “And this is Max. Who I suppose you’re going to be seeing a lot more of than me now you’re here.”
She grins at Max, stooping down before him so she can get on his level. “It’s nice to meet you, Max,” she tells him. “I’m really looking forward to getting to know you. And you’re going to have a new friend in my daughter, too, I hope!”
Of course, that’s another part of this that I’m still getting my head around.
The fact that she has a little girl of her own.
It wasn’t ideal, to hire someone who would have to come here with a kid, but she was the only one willing to go through the extensive security measures and background checks that I require for anyone so much as setting foot inside my house.
I try to look at it optimistically; perhaps it will be good for Max to have another kid around, someone his own age he can relate to.
Max nods, but he looks a little nervous.
He’s not exactly used to meeting new people, not living here with me.
Everyone who he knows, they have been with me since before he was born, a part of his life so long they might as well be family.
It’s not a surprise that he is not sure how to deal with a new arrival, but there is a warmth to her that tells me that it will not take long for him to get used to her presence.
And, as she straightens up, something in her face shifts. Her gaze lands on my hand, on the spiderweb tattoo that reaches up my fingers, and she tenses. Her shoulders draw up towards her ears, and her jaw tightens slightly. I flex my hand, raising my eyebrows at her.
“Problem?” I ask, and she looks up at me, her lips slightly parted. But before she can tell me whatever it is that is on her mind, a little girl appears in the doorway that leads through to the rest of the small apartment they will be staying in.
“Mommy?”
Cara’s head whips around, her light brown hair flying out around her when she moves.
“Oh, Nina, there you are,” she replies, hurrying over to her and slipping her hand into her daughter’s. “This is Alex, and this is Max, they’re the ones who own the house...”
She looks between us for a moment, like she is trying to take in the new additions to her household. I guess it can’t be easy for her, giving up whatever life she had before this to come live with us, but kids ae adaptable; it’s amazing what they can make sense of if you’re just honest with them.
Like Max—when it first clicked with him that he didn’t have a mother around, he had asked me about it, and I had been able to explain that his mom had decided it was best for him to live with me.
And he had accepted it without question, much to my relief, because I didn’t want to have to explain the truth to him, which was that his mother had wanted out of my world just as soon as she figured how much danger our closeness might put her in.
“Hello,” Nina greets Max, a little shyly. I squeeze Max’s shoulders, silently telling him to respond. He finally manages to nod, and I notice he’s smiling. He seems excited to have someone else here with him.
Maybe I shouldn’t have waited so long to bring someone else into the house like this...
“Well, I was just going to make some breakfast,” Cara remarks. “Would you like to stick around and join us for it, Alex?”
I pause for a moment; it probably would be a good idea to take the chance to get to know her a little better, given that I’m going to be trusting her with my son from this moment out.
But then, my phone buzzes in my pocket, and I pull it out.
A text from Ilya; telling me I need to come see something.
And I know that he doesn’t fuck around when it comes to shit like that, so I best not keep him waiting.
“Maybe another day,” I reply. I grin down at Max. “I’ll be back to see you in a few hours, alright, buddy?” I tell him. I ruffle his hair and turn for the door. And, for just a second, my gaze rests on Nina, and it strikes me how similar she looks to Max.
Same dark hair, same big brown eyes. They could almost pass for siblings, at a glance, as ridiculous as that sounds.
“See you later,” Cara prompts me, and I realize that I’m just standing there. I pull myself together and nod.
“See you,” I reply, and stride out of the kitchen to take care of whatever trouble has been made for me in the last half-hour. I’ve to trust that my son is in good hands with his new nanny, that’s why I hired her, after all.
Even if the hairs at the back of my neck won’t stop telling me that there’s more to this than I can see right now.