28. Ivy
TWENTY-EIGHT
Ivy
“Alright, Ms. Campbell, let’s take a look under the hood, shall we?”
My pulse is way too noticeable as I lie back on the table. Xaden is right there beside me, though, and squeezing his hand does help.
“This is going to feel a little weird, but it shouldn’t be uncomfortable at all. If it is, tell me.”
I nod at the ultrasound tech, and then she squirts weird, slightly blue jelly onto my lower belly. It’s warm, thankfully, but it does feel distinctly like someone just hawked a loogie on my stomach.
“Ugh.” I grimace.
“You okay?” Xaden squeezes my hand back, and I look up at him and find his brows crinkled together.
I smile, patting the back of his hand with my free one. “Yes, I’m fine. It just feels kind of gross.”
The woman running the device laughs. “Yeah, I’ve heard that before.”
She starts moving the wand around my stomach, pushing in slightly before sliding to a new spot. There’s a screen that shows what’s going on in there, but I can’t make heads or tails of what I’m seeing.
“This your first?” she asks.
Xaden and I answer at the same time, but I say yes, whereas he says no.
“Oh, sorry.” He flinches, ducking his head.
The situation isn’t exactly straightforward, but it’s not like blended families don’t exist. I shake my head again, turning back to the tech, whose name is Barbara going by the name tag.
She probably told me, too, but I’ll admit to being a little distracted.
“He has a daughter from a previous marriage. This is my first pregnancy, though.”
Barbara nods. “Ah, gotcha. Well, you’re in good hands. Juggling the kiddos will be a trip, though, I’ll tell you. I have two birth kids and two steps kids. It’s a treat.”
I can hear the “hold onto your ass” in her tone, but there’s that love behind it, too. The kind that I imagine most mothers offer their kids.
The thought makes my chest pinch. I haven’t gotten another text from my mother since the first, and it’s been two days. Maybe she’s over it.
“So, where’s the big sister to be?”
Xaden sighs. “She’s with a family friend. We haven’t told her about all this yet.”
“Oh, well, don’t stress, honey.” Barbara grins, reaching up to pat Xaden’s hand like I did. “Kids take this kind of stuff really well. She’ll be excited to have a sibling and then immediately over it when she realizes it’s going to be a while yet.”
We both laugh. It’s exactly the kind of comforting anecdote we needed to hear.
“Alright, well, if you look here,” Barbara points at the screen, “you see this open-looking space. That’s your uterus, and that little dot on the inside is baby.”
My breath catches, and I grip Xaden’s hand. It’s really in there. I can see it. Burning fills my eyes, and my heart rate kicks up as my emotions get the better of me.
“Based on what I can see, you’re still very early in your pregnancy. I’d say just coming up to four weeks, which lines up with what you’ve told me about when your last period was.”
I nod, and then my brain starts spitting up questions like it’s going out of style, my stomach churning.
“I’ve been extremely nauseated. Is that normal? Can I do anything? I mean, I know pregnancy makes you feel nauseous, but damn, this is rough. I was taking my birth control up until the test. Is that why? Will that do anything to hurt the baby?”
“Calm down, babe. Try to take a breath.” Xaden’s voice is soothing in my ear, and he rubs the back of my hand as Barbara cleans up the goo from my stomach.
“He’s right.” She pats my knee. “You can relax. Your baby is doing fine. It’s common to still be using the pill if you didn’t think you were pregnant, and you’ll be okay. Definitely stop now, though, if you haven’t. And nausea can change for everyone. If you literally can’t eat and can’t even drink water, that’s a concern. If not, just try to hold out. It should go away when you’re about twelve weeks along. Ginger can help, too.”
There is so much to consider, and my head is spinning from all the things I have to be careful of now. As I sit up on the table, Barbara tells us to wait for the doctor to come in, and I can’t keep my legs from jittering.
“I know you’re nervous, babe. But I think we’re okay. The ultrasound was normal, and we’re just going to talk to the doctor about what comes next.”
I nod, struggling through a deep breath. I offer Xaden a smile, holding his hand before laying my head on his chest.
“I know. It’s just…a lot.” When I look back up at him, Xaden takes my face into his hands and kisses me. “That helps, though.”
He laughs, and we wait about ten minutes before the doctor comes in. She’s a taller woman, probably about five-nine, and she has her dark hair pulled back into a quick ponytail.
With a smile, she pulls up the rolling chair to the end of the ultrasound table and takes a seat.
“Hello, I’m Dr. Liebman. I looked over your ultrasound, and it looks great. You’ve got a tiny bean in there getting nice and cozy.”
I relax a bit. Dr. Liebman has a nice smile, and she comes across as warm and genuine. I need that.
“I know this is your first pregnancy, so there are a few things to keep in mind for smooth sailing.” She flips open the clipboard she brought in and pulls out a little stack of stapled papers. “This covers some of the basics, and I encourage you to only do enough research to make yourself comfortable. Some sites can use scare tactics to lure you in, and you have no reason to be worried about any of that right now.”
I take the paper, nodding my head as I internally remark on how well she has me pegged. I would have hopped on the internet already if it weren’t for the crippling nausea.
“I will try to avoid it.”
Dr. Liebman nods. “Good. So, you’ll want to avoid a few foods. They’re listed here, and there are medications and drugs that you can’t use either. You already know this, but no drinking or smoking.”
She turns to Xaden. “I’m counting on you to help our new mama here get through her forty weeks without a hitch, okay?”
He nods, grinning down at me as he squeezes my hand again. “Of course. Anything I can do.”
“That’s what I like to hear.” Dr. Liebman nods. “If you have any questions you don’t want to Google, you can call the office any time. On the second page are a few things you should be on the lookout for, but otherwise, just get your rest, try to eat as best you can, and relax as much as possible. Stress is never your friend, but especially not now.”
It takes me a moment to nod after that one. I’m already on edge nearly every day because of the shit going on with my father. I can’t let that affect my baby.
“Okay. I hear you.”
Standing up, Dr. Liebman helps me to my feet and walks with Xaden and me to the door. “You’re going to do great. Don’t worry. You’re all done for today, but go ahead and schedule your next visit with the receptionist out front. We’ll be seeing each other regularly, but I’m not looking to overanalyze every little thing. Humans have been doing this for millions of years, so you can trust your body to know what it’s doing.”
There is nothing about Dr. Liebman that I don’t love. She is so incredibly tuned in to what a pregnant person might need to hear, and it is a huge comfort to this extremely worked-up new mom.
Mom. Still so weird.
“Thank you, Dr. Liebman. I really appreciate it.”
She gives me a light hug, and then Xaden and I go to the front desk to schedule the next visit. It’s not for a little while, and as we walk to the car, I start reading over the packet the doctor gave me.
“How you doing over there? You look like your head might explode.” Xaden starts up the car as I glance over at him.
“There’s just so much information. I understand why she said not to go nuts on the internet.”
Xaden laughs. “Yeah, I have a vague recollection of that. I think they even make apps to let you track everything. But I’m following your lead. You determine how much you want to dive in or if you’d rather just let it be.”
I’ve got my phone in my hands when he finishes talking, already looking up pregnancy tracker apps.
“I’m going with this one. Compares baby sizes to fruit.” I flash him the screen, and Xaden laughs at me. “Shut it. I need the play-by-play.”
“No judgment, babe. You do you.” As we pull out of the parking lot, Xaden hangs a right, which isn’t the way to get home. “How about we go to lunch to take your mind off things? And try to get some food in you.”
Feeling alright at the moment, I give him a shrug and nod. “I’m not sure if that will work, but I’m down for lunch.”
“Good enough for me.”
We sit at a table inside one of our favorite little diners, Deville’s, and I sit back in my chair, taking a sip of my water.
“I think this constitutes your first pregnancy craving.” Xaden grins, reaching for his beer, which I glare at.
“It sounded good.” I shrug, excited about the delivery of my truffle fries and fruit salad. “As does that.”
I point at his beer, still narrowing my eyes on the fiendish bottle that taunts me.
“Sorry, hun. Do you want me to avoid drinking around you? I don’t mind.”
Shaking my head, I sigh. “No, no. It’s fine. Just promise me that you’ll have a drink ready for me the moment this little thing is out of me.”
He laughs. “Can do.”
“So,” I lean over the table, taking his hands, “what do we do now? Tell Daisy?”
Xaden squeezes my fingers, that comforting gesture, and I smile back at him. “It’s on the to-do list for sure. As is getting you fully moved in. I’m not letting you stay in that other house again.”
“Hey, I just got a new carpet in that house.” I playfully pull away, but Xaden doesn’t let my hands slip from him.
“Oh, no. You’re staying right here. I’m going to do whatever I need to do to keep you happy and healthy. We’ve got thirty-six weeks, which I’m now remembering doesn’t add up to nine months, to go, and I promise to make it as good as possible.”
Now, I’m all laughs because Xaden is too charming for words. He’s been a rock these past few days, and the man has earned a certification in holding my hair back while I empty my guts.
“Thank you. And no, it doesn’t. I mean, if the standard month is four weeks, that makes ten months.”
“Yeah, I remember Maeve being pissed about that.” There’s a moment where the memory threatens to pull down the mood, but I’m impressed when Xaden looks back up at me with a smile. “God, there are so many cool things to look forward to. The baby moving, seeing you get all round.”
I swat at him. “You can look forward to that all you want. I am not here for looking like a blimp.”
Xaden laughs and then gestures with his head toward my purse. “Can I see it again? I want to admire our little speck.”
I shake my head, laughing right back at him, and pull out the sonogram image. “It really does look like a bean or something. Even though the app says that baby is the size of a poppy seed right now.”
We hold the picture between our hands, and a comfortable silence washes over us as we stare down at the image. After a bit, Xaden reaches across the table to wrap his arm around me as best he can.
“Little bean.” He smiles, his voice soft. “I think we’ve come up with a pretty good nickname there. Until we find out what it is, of course.”
I shake my head. “Oh no, this baby is going to be Little Bean forever. And I don’t want to find out. I like surprises—most of the time.”
“What the…” A voice sounds over my shoulder, and my stomach drops. “She’s…pregnant!”
Oh, shit.