Chapter 7
7
We drive along the winding dirt road in Tobias’s white pick-up (mine was politely deemed too ancient to guarantee a six-year-old’s safety). It’s twilight now. The sky is lavender and the moon is rising.
“I’d forgotten what it’s like to be out in the country like this,” I muse. “Look at all those stars.”
“Do you know what the Big Dipper is, Miss Roxie?” Daisy’s in her car seat next to me in the back seat. She reaches for my hand and the light, heartfelt clutch of it is comforting to me in a way I can’t name. The thing is, I know how the enormity of this little girl’s loss feels . I was older than she was, but I also lost my parents in a gruesome, tragic car accident. I don’t know if she can somehow detect this about me, but I feel an immediate bond with this lost child .
Then again, she’s not really lost. She has Nate, the rock of all rocks. And the beautiful, boisterous, close-knit Boone clan. Like me, she wasn’t alone in her grief. But it doesn’t mean you feel it any less.
I get a sudden wild and surprisingly raw craving to also have Nate, the rock of all rocks, as my rock too. And the close-knit Boone clan as my clan. Not just on an occasional visit, but to belong here. To be his and theirs and to become one with this magical place that’s already so much a part of me. I’ve missed it and them— and him —so much more than I realized.
“I can show it to you if you want,” she offers sincerely, her inky blue eyes solemn.
“It was your Uncle Nate who taught me about the stars, a long time ago.”
“Uncle Nate shows them to me too,” she tells me. “He always asks me to show him the Big Dipper and I find it every single time.”
“I bet you do.” I remember the night. I was maybe twelve and we were all camping out on the porch. We were all laughing and talking like we always did. Nate pointed out the North Star, the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper, but I was the only one paying attention. I remember him smiling in that lazy way he had. To this day, when it’s a clear night I can always find the constellations he showed me and they always remind me of Nate. “He must be a good teacher because I can find them every single time too. ”
Daisy smiles, holding my hand a little tighter.
We turn around a bend and I can see the lodge coming into view. It sits on the edge of the largest pond on the farm. The water reflects the lights of the buildings and the moon and stars.
“There’s the lodge!” Daisy whispers.
“The main entrance is off Southern Road,” Dakota says. “No one will be driving through the farm to get to it. Luke and Leo were adamant about that detail. So we’re trying to keep it as separate as possible.”
“How long did it take you to set this all up?” The magnificence of the buildings comes into full view. “And why didn’t you tell me about all this?” There are at least seven buildings, one large one and six or seven smaller ones. I’m guessing the large one is the restaurant and the smaller ones the accommodations.
“We’ve had the idea for so long.” Tobias turns into the long entranceway and we drive under the Western-style gate, where The Sugar Mountain Lodge has been sculpted under the arch with chopped birch logs. “We’ve been talking about this since we were kids. But we couldn’t afford to build it, at least not the way we wanted to. Nate came to us around a year ago when we were both at a loose end and said he had some money to invest. We sat down and came up with a business plan. Then he brought in one of his teams to help us design and build it.”
“He basically threw a shitload of cash at the project,” Dakota continues. “At first we weren’t sure we should take it. It was such a huge amount of money and we didn’t know if we could earn it all back. But Nate talked us into letting him do it. He said it was burning a hole in his pocket and he couldn’t think of a better way to spend it. So he paid cash for the whole thing and now the three of us each own a third of it.”
“Wow.” I’m not surprised that Nate has money. All he’s done since we were kids is work. But as we get closer and the grandeur of the lodge comes into full view, it’s obvious no expense has been spared. This would have cost a lot of money.
“At least we have jobs now,” Tobias says cheerfully.
Tobias and Dakota are both homebodies and they’re both free spirits. They both went to the University of Tennessee, but they both got homesick and came back to the farm every chance they got. Tobias started his own small local catering company after he graduated, and once she graduated, Dakota took on a few clients as an interior designer. But their jobs have been sporadic and they’ve both been living at home—by choice, but I imagine it takes some of the stress out of life’s inevitable daily expenses.
My besties are happiest when they’re together and around their family. Something I happen to understand. “Who needs a job when you can create your own jobs. Look at this place. It’s incredible.” The buildings are made of black-painted wood, glass and black steel, a combination that’s sophisticated and luxurious but still looks rustic and very Tennessee. There’s a courtyard with arches overrun with rambling white roses, an outdoor seating area, an outdoor kitchen and even a pool.
“Nate got tired of us talking about one day building our dream business, which we’ve been doing since we were sixteen.” Tobias parks the truck in a small parking lot next to the largest building. “So he insisted we make it happen.”
“Nate’s been so generous,” Dakota adds, “that we have no choice but to make the place a roaring success.”
“It sounds like it already is if you’re booked out four months in advance.”
“Social media helps.” Dakota and Tobias both happen to have impressive Instagram followings, since they’re both so artistic and know how to stage a photograph like it’s what they were born to do. “The cabins are private so they can be booked by couples. But we’re also doing bachelorette parties, weddings, engagement parties, anniversaries, baby showers and so on. These days so many people want Instagram-worthy settings, we put the whole business together with that in mind.”
“It’s such a great idea. You guys are going to be run off your feet.”
Tobias turns off the truck and I unbuckle Daisy and help her climb out.
“You’re going to love it, Miss Roxie. There are so many fairy lights.” I offer my hand again and she takes it as we walk inside .
I gasp when I see the interior. The restaurant looks like a very upmarket barn, with wooden beams crisscrossing across the vaulted ceilings. And Daisy was right: strung around them are hundreds and hundreds of fairy lights.
“Isn’t it pretty?” Daisy tugs at my hand, dancing around me as we make our way inside.
“It’s beautiful.” It really is. Tables and booths are lit with stylish pendant lights. The place has a very luxe feel to it but at the same time it looks like, after hours, they might clear out all the tables and have a barn dance party. I notice that there’s a stage at one end. “Are you planning to have live music?”
Tobias gives Dee a look. “We sure are.” His reply is almost cagey, but I’m too overwhelmed by the lodge to dig deeper. “Come on, Rox. I want to show you the kitchen. You’re going to freak out when you see this.”
We walk past an expansive glass office to the kitchen—which is like something out of a Michelin-rated restaurant. “Tobias. It’s your dream kitchen.” I can’t believe Nate paid for all this. We haven’t even gotten to the outbuildings yet. This whole set-up must have cost millions. “You can finally put all those years of cooking practice to good use.”
“The only reason I’ve come down to the house at all is to see you. But I basically live here now. We’ve got a little back room in the office with couches and a bed.” His grin is adorably elated. It’s possibly the happiest I’ve ever seen Tobias .
I give him a hug because I can’t help it. “I’m so happy for you, Tobe. This place is going to explode with business.”
“Thanks, honey. That’s what we’re hoping.”
“Tobias has planned the whole menu—with some help from me, of course. He’s obsessed.” Dakota reaches like she’s about to ruffle Tobias’s hair and he ducks just in time.
“Do not touch the hair,” he protests dramatically.
Dakota laughs. “I should know that by now, right, bro?”
“There’s nothing you can do to dampen my mood, Dakota Boone, so you can politely—” he eyes Daisy, reigning in whatever colorful reply he was about to give— “leave me to it.”
“Gladly. Daze, should we show Roxie the guest cottages?”
Daisy jumps up and down, clapping. “Can we look at the pink one first?”
“You have a pink cottage?”
“It’s got a pink door,” Dakota confirms. “It’s the honeymoon suite.”
We say goodnight to Tobias and leave him to his late night macaroon baking session.
“We’re going to take your truck, Tobe. Do you want us to pick you up after we drop off Daisy?”
“No, I’ll sleep here. There’s still so much to do before the grand opening.” He’s already opened his laptop and has also turned on several of the ovens.
It’s nice to see the both of them so passionate about their new business. Both Tobias and Dakota have, at times, been a little bit aimless. But now the two of them are bright-eyed and excited.
What a gift Nate’s given them. A life that revolves around the one thing they’ve always wanted to do. And now they can.
Dakota, Daisy and I walk along a manicured gravel trail through a grove of trees, shrubs and more rambling roses. I get the grand tour of all six bungalows, which are as luxurious as the main building and all have their own unique charm. “I’m wildly impressed, Dee. Can I move in?” I joke.
“You can live with me and Uncle Nate!” Daisy exclaims. “We have three guest rooms.”
“Well, thank you, Daisy.” For some reason, the thought of Nate Boone’s guest rooms makes my stomach do a funny little flip.
“We should probably head back there soon, Daze,” Dakota suggests. “It’s getting late.”
“I don’t like going to bed,” Daisy tells us, her blue eyes earnest. “I have bad dreams. Sometimes Uncle Nate has to read me stories in the middle of the night because I can’t go back to sleep.”
Dakota and I exchange a brief glance.
Daisy’s matter-of-fact sadness makes my eyes unexpectedly sting. For what she’s had to go through, and from my own tragic memories of the worst night of my life. And now Daisy’s got one of those too. “Uncle Nate got me three nightlights and I get to keep all of them on if I want to. They’re Elsa, Tinker Bell and Ariel. Uncle Nate tells them to use their magic to me help get back to sleep. So that’s what they do.”
No wonder he looks so worn out.
I squeeze her hand. I can relate to the nightmares and the many sleepless nights that go along with loss of that magnitude.
Dee picks Daisy up. “You’ve got your princesses and you’ve got all of us, right, Daze? You never have to feel alone or scared of anything, okay? And now you’ve got Roxie too.”
“You sure do, sweetie.” And even though I’ll only be here for the weekend and shouldn’t be making promises like that, I find myself wanting it— really wanting it—to be true.
“Come on, Rox,” Dee starts carrying Daisy toward the truck. “Uncle Nate will be wondering where this little princess is.”
We climb into Tobias’s truck and head back up the road toward the farmhouse, driving past it and further down toward the river. Dakota turns into a driveway that winds through the trees along the ridge. I don’t remember this road being here.
And then we’re pulling up in front of the most to-die-for house I’ve ever seen in my life.
It’s made of rough-hewn natural-looking wood, the same black steel as the lodge, and glass. Huge windows take full advantage of the stunning river view. It’s ultra-modern but with a traditional farmhouse twist. You can tell immediately that it was designed by a major talent, taking full advantage of the nature around it, blending into its surroundings seamlessly. And it’s big . Three stories are stacked into levels that angle in places in different directions. Along the entire front of it is a two-level covered deck with seating areas, an outdoor kitchen and a hot tub. All of it looks over the ribbon of glittery water and the rolling hills of Tennessee.
“This is Nate’s house ?” I don’t know why my question comes out as breathless. I always knew Nate Boone would be a success story, I just never imagined he’d create his own wonderland.
I see him then, sitting in a chair at the far end of the deck, talking on his phone with a laptop open on the table in front of him. He hears our truck and ends his call, getting up to walk over to us.
“Uncle Nate!” Daisy runs across the deck and jumps into his arms.
“There’s my girl.” He’s talking to Daisy, of course.
But he’s looking at me.
Wow.
Nate’s dressed in faded jeans and an old, soft-looking flannel shirt that strains against his muscles.
Here’s the Nate Boone I remember, except that now he’s all grown up, all beefed up and holding an adorable child in his burly arms. The combination is enough to make every feminine urge I own suddenly wake up, like someone just plugged me in to an invisible charging station that’s now pumping cravings into me like a very potent drug .
I’ve honestly never in my life thought about my ovaries before. But right now they’re humming. Electricity pulses through my veins with a slow, warm awareness. Of myself. Of how I’ve never, ever had a love life besides the memory of him. Because of the memory of him.
All my cravings were always for him.
And now those cravings are on overdrive because here he is in all his low-slung-jeans-that-fit-like-they-should-be-illegal glory.
I don’t know if Dakota is picking up on the sparks I can feel but she takes Daisy from Nate’s arms. “It’s been weeks since I got to read Daisy her bedtime story. Are we doing a bath first?”
“You sure, Dee?” Nate asks her.
“Of course I’m sure. Besides, you and Roxie haven’t had a chance to catch up properly. She and I have all weekend together. Come on, Daze.”
With that, Daisy says goodnight to Nate and Dee carries her inside. “Goodnight, Miss Roxie!”
“Goodnight, Daisy.”
The door closes behind them.
Nate’s hands are in his pockets now and he watches me with light amusement as I stand here sort of speechless. He nods toward the covered seating area. “You want to sit outside? I’ve got bug candles and a diffuser thing Luke gave me that does a good job of keeping the bugs away. And I think there might be a bottle of wine in my fridge.”
“Okay. ”
I follow him across the wide boards of the deck in awe, not only of the view but of the grandeur and just plain awesomeness of this house. “It’s amazing, Nate. You built this?”
“I had a lot of help. I’ve got teams of architects and builders attached to my contracting business. Daisy’s dad Jed helped with the design. A lot of the ideas were his.”
We go up the stairs to the upper deck, where the state-of-the-art covered outdoor kitchen—complete with a fridge and a flat-screen TV—take full advantage of the stunning view and the clear night sky.
He opens the fridge. “I’ve got beer, white wine and sparkling water.”
“Wine sounds great.” I sit in one of the comfortable Adirondack chairs and try not to stare at how good his ass looks in those old Levis, or how they fit him in that uber-masculine way that’s making me feel warm and…tingly…in a very intimate place.
I’ve been alone with Nate Boone exactly two times in my life. The night in the barn when I kissed him and he kissed me back, and right now.
He pours me a glass and opens a beer for himself. Then he sits in the chair next to mine and half-grins in that slow, familiar way that used to beguile me. It has an even more profound effect on me now.
I might have been thirteen or fourteen when I first fell in love with Nate Boone. It was the kind of love that ruined me for anyone else. It’s still ruining me .
I didn’t even allow myself to admit that, until now. My psyche blocked it because I wasn’t allowed to have him, but it was always there.
But now, it’s as subtle as a freight train rolling through the middle of my world.
He was always the one.
Now all I have to do is to figure out what to do about it.