Chapter 15 #2
It’s unpleasant to watch how pale and shaky Owen gets as he opens the bag and sprinkles some of the powder onto the back of his hand. “More,” Nate says, and Owen glares at him, but he still adds more, then snorts it all like a pro.
Nate sits back and waits, watching as Owen’s face slacks, as well as his shoulders.
Nate glances to the side, where the security camera above the back door of the barber shop should be recording everything.
He was the one who helped install it a few years ago when Emil, the barber, claimed people were hanging out on his property.
Nate knows exactly how wide the recording area is, and that is why he’s sitting safely outside of it.
He clears his throat and says, “Joel and I were best friends, and I was the first person he came out to. He was a local football star, but it was never much of a big deal around here like it was in other places.”
“What was he like?” Owen asks quietly.
Nate struggles to answer, because the question stirs memories of the most complex and troubled man he has ever met.
“Joel was a lot. He was hilarious and charismatic but also sad, like there was a cloud following him around. He…” Nate takes a breath.
He doesn’t allow himself to think of Joel often, but he’s overwhelmed by memories.
“I was sort of a loser back then, and once Joel and I became friends, it was like gaining a shield. The man was six-feet-two, broad as a log. He wanted to be a cop like his dad, even though he was pressured into moving away to college on a scholarship. He couldn’t picture himself living anywhere else, and that was even before Will came along.
I can still remember the first time he mentioned him to me.
You know that Will Thomas dude? Damn, he looks good.
I was the only person he spoke with like that.
With anyone else, he was as straight as an arrow. ”
“Did he know that Will was gay back then?”
“Nobody knew, and I figured that Will was straight, so I didn’t think much of Joel’s comment.
But when he had his sight set on something, he rarely let it go.
He became friendly with Will within a week, and the three of us began to hang out.
I still thought Will was straight, but I noticed the way he was looking at Joel, and there was obviously something there.
I don’t know exactly how it happened, but Joel must have made a pass at Will, and after a few weeks, they were a thing.
Nobody knew but me, and when the three of us were together, Joel was so fucking happy it was contagious. ”
“And was Will happy?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t he be? Joel was a catch.
Anyway, it’s probably time to mention that Joel’s mother was a loony.
She was hospitalized when he was a kid. They let her out after a year, but she ran away after a few days and was hit by a truck in a different county.
Word was that she ran out into the road naked.
Joel was open about his mom’s past. It sometimes felt like he was waiting to get sick himself, like it was unavoidable.
But he didn’t sound scared about it, more… curious.”
“Curious about getting mentally ill?”
Nate doesn’t appreciate the tone of judgement in Owen’s voice.
“Yeah, he was curious. No harm in that. Anyway, people around town started to suspect that something was going on between Joel and Will until they both finally came out to the sheriff. It went okay. I mean, I don’t think he opened a bottle of champagne, but Joel was the only thing he had, and he did his best to accept him.
It was weird walking with them around town and seeing all the looks, but no one dared to say anything nasty, at least not to Joel’s face. ”
“Were you jealous?”
Nate scowls at the question. “Jealous?”
“Joel was your best friend before Will came along.”
He wonders how Owen can be so sharp while still being high, but he reminds himself that the man has been taking drugs for years, so his body must be better at handling such substances than the average Joe. “Maybe I was a bit jealous, but I was supportive.”
“So you and Will were friends?”
Nate moves uneasily in his chair. “I guess we were.” But he didn’t want to be friends—he wanted Will.
He tried to ignore his feelings, but he couldn’t make them magically disappear.
He thought it must mean he was gay too, but he didn’t feel attraction toward any other man, not even the hot ones in magazines.
That made his infatuation with Will all the more strange, yet no less real.
“Something bad must have happened,” Owen says impatiently. “What was it?”
“Joel began to lose his mind. It didn’t happen overnight, but when it started, it escalated fast. He would stare at a spot in space for a long time or snap at you for no reason. He would claim he told you things he never did, then get angry when you told him he was wrong.”
Owen crosses his arms. “It sounds horrible. Didn’t he get help?”
“The sheriff tried, and Joel agreed for a while, but they wanted him to take pills, and he hated that. I also tried to make him seek help, but he told me to mind my own business. The only one who could have gotten through to him was Will, but he was no help.”
“Why wouldn’t he help?”
Nate thinks hard on his next words. Almost everything he said so far had been the honest truth, but now he must step into a much grayer area. “Will didn’t help because he got something out of Joel’s condition. Wild and violent sex.”
Owen’s eyes go wide. “What?”
“Joel liked being hurt during sex, and it just so happened that Will was into that as well. Don’t look so surprised—he wouldn’t have shared that part of himself with you so early. Joel, messed up as he was, started asking Will to hurt him during sex.”
“How the hell would you know about that?”
“Because Joel was getting so mental that he lost his filters. No shame, no holding back. He’d sit with you for a beer and tell you how Will tied him up and choked him as he fucked him.”
Owen visibly shivers, looking ill. “He might’ve been lying.”
“He wasn’t. Will didn’t start their sick games—I know that for a fact—but once the ball started rolling, Will was all in on the fun.
I saw all those bruises on Joel. He was ashamed of them, but he said that Will only agreed to fuck him if they were rough.
There were moments when Joel was his old self again, and he…
he was full of shame about what they were doing, but he didn’t know how to make it stop.
He was terrified that if he said he had enough, Will would leave him.
” Nate leans his elbows on his knees, holding Owen’s gaze.
“He needed help from the man he loved, but he got nothing but abuse. It went on for over a year, and no matter what his father or I tried to do, we were no match for the hold Will had over Joel.” Nate sighs.
“I’m sure that Will didn’t want Joel to hang himself, but when he did—in Will’s own house—not many people were surprised. ”
Owen rubs his face, as pale as a piece of paper. “He hanged himself in Will’s house?”
“Yes, but not where he lives now. He was renting another house in town, and Joel had the key. I think that he chose that location because he wanted Will to know it was his fault. Joel was too weak to confront him when he was alive, so he did that in death. Everyone in town knew how messed up their relationship was, so Will got no free pass once Joel died.” Nate leans back.
“Joel loved Will more than anything, and it cost him his life. When I warned you about him, I didn’t do that because I was jealous—I don’t want the same thing to happen to you. ”
“I’m not… I’m not mental like Joel was.”
“So what? You sleep around with evil, it’s bound to get you eventually. You’re not immune.”
Owen sits silently, looking at his hands and breathing heavily. He doesn’t blame Nate for lying, nor does he try to defend Will.
Nate hopes that the rot he planted in Owen’s head will spread and put a stop to what has started between them, because if it doesn’t… he glances at the security camera. If it doesn’t, then Nate will have no other choice but to play dirty.
Don’t make me play dirty, Owen.