Chapter 16
Will
“What’s up with you?” Bradley asks from the other side of the table.
“What?”
“You keep looking at the door. Am I not enough for you?”
Will rolls his eyes, feeling bad for being so obvious. “You’re good enough.”
“Don’t make me blush.” Bradley leans forward. “I’m sure that Owen will arrive any minute now to put a smile on your face.”
Will sits straighter. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You know exactly what I’m talking about, and it’s a shame you don’t feel comfortable enough with me to share what’s been going on. As if I’d judge you or something.”
Will exhales. “How obvious is it?”
“Nah, you’re good. Not like you two are walking around town holding hands.” He signals the waitress to bring them another round of drinks. “Am I allowed to be happy for you?”
“There’s nothing official to be happy about.”
“Then am I allowed to be unofficially happy for you?”
Will finds himself smiling despite himself. “You’re allowed.”
Bradley drums on the table. “Fuck, I’m happy!”
“Shh.”
The joy on Bradley’s face fades into a sober expression. “Sheryl’s his aunt.”
I know. “It doesn’t matter. He and I… it’s early stages.
Maybe nothing will come of it.” But he feels in his gut that what has started between them is quickly growing like wildfire.
When he’s not with Owen, he thinks of him, and when he’s with him, he doesn’t want him to leave.
He has so many doubts circling in his mind, but when they are together, his mind is at peace.
“I really like him,” Bradley says. “He’s sweet.”
And romantic, and creative, and quirky, and passionate, and so kind.
“If I end up liking him more than you, would you mind?”
Will shrugs. “If you don’t mind me liking Esteban more than you.”
Bradley gasps. “You jerk! I’d kill you. What does Esteban have that I don’t?”
“Tact, for starters.”
Bradley waves his hand dismissively. “That’s overrated. Anyway, is Owen supposed to be here?”
Will glances at his watch. “Yeah, he should be. We’re supposed to have dinner here, then head back to my place.”
“Well, it’s Saturday, so he’s not working at the library. Maybe he just forgot.”
Unlikely. “Maybe.”
He catches Doctor Levi sitting down with his wife at a nearby table.
His stomach twitches from sharing the same space with that man.
When their eyes lock, the doctor waves and smiles, but Will looks away.
His poor wife must have no idea how much of a pervert her husband is, or maybe she does know but is choosing to look the other way.
In a town so small, people tend to keep their affairs private as much as possible, or they might end up lepers like Will.
An hour later, he gives up on waiting for Owen and goes to take care of his check. Before he can get his credit card out and pay Bill, Doctor Levi puts his own credit card on the counter. “My treat.”
Will bites the inside of his cheek. He should tell the man to fuck off, but he doesn’t want the drama. Bill looks to Will for approval, and he reluctantly nods.
“Thanks,” he says once the payment goes through.
Doctor Levi leans closer. “It’s the least I can do. You know how happy you make me.”
He never sees any of the mayor’s other guests around town, and he’s grateful they don’t live in Van Buren like Doctor Levi. “Have a good evening.”
“I do wish that we could come to some sort of arrangement about private sessions. I can be generous, Will.”
I’m not a whore, he stops himself from saying, knowing it’s not the full truth, but Will’s reality never had the privilege of being black or white. He turns and leaves without saying a word, knowing the doctor would likely be extra rough the next time they meet at the mayor’s house.
He hurries back home, hoping to find Owen waiting on his porch, but he isn’t there, and Will can’t pick up the phone and call him like any other normal person. It only emphasizes how complicated their situation is.
Yet I still chose to kiss him in the library and invited him to my house.
He regrets many things about his life, but Owen isn’t one of them.
He sits on the stairs and watches the dark road leading to his house, waiting until the night becomes too cold and forces him to go inside alone.
*
“What’s wrong?” Julie asks when he meets her in the garden of the hospice. She’s holding a book, of course.
“Nothing’s wrong.”
“You seem down.”
He gives her a kiss on the cheek and sits on the bench while she’s in her wheelchair. “Didn’t sleep well. How are you?”
“I slept like a baby, actually. They’re giving me stronger painkillers.”
He frowns. “Are you in pain?”
She gives him a look like he should know better than to ask. “Do you know when the next book club is supposed to be? Owen promised two weeks.”
At the mention of Owen’s name, Will’s stomach tightens. “I don’t know yet, but I’m sure he’ll put up new posters soon.”
“Hmm, and how are you and him getting along?”
“Fine.”
She rolls her eyes. “William Thomas, don’t play games with me—I don’t have enough time on this earth for that.”
“Hey. No talking like that.”
“Fine, I have all the time in the world, but I would still like to know more about the boy who has caught your interest after all these years. You brought him to meet me for a reason.”
He crosses his legs, feeling that he would have been more willing to have this conversation if he weren’t so worried about Owen going MIA. “When there’s more to say, I’ll tell you. Promise.”
She sighs. “Fine. Oh, Uncle Ray! I didn’t know you’d be stopping by.”
Will’s muscles clench, his blood turning cold.
Ray comes closer, entering Will’s line of sight. He’s holding yellow flowers, which he gives to Julie, as well as a kiss on the cheek.
Will wishes to tell the man to get away from his sister, but as far as she knows, there’s no hatred between them. She only knows that Ray helps pay for her stay at this hospice, thinking it’s due to the kindness of his heart. Till the day she dies, Will intends to keep it that way.
“I can’t think of the last time the three of us were together,” Julie says, her smile wide even though her skin is unhealthily pale and her lips are more gray than pink.
“It’s been a minute,” Ray says.
For the next ten minutes, Will sits with his fists in his lap, his nails digging into his flesh. He says the bare minimum, keeping the hostility away from his face. When Ray finally stands to leave, he gives Will a stiff nod. “I’ll see you soon, boy.”
Will manages a stiff nod in return.
“Is something wrong between you two?” Julie asks once they’re alone.
“Nothing’s wrong. We’re just different, always have been. Let me get you back inside.”
Will leaves shortly after. It’s the middle of the day, and he has nothing to do since he thought he was going to spend the day with Owen.
He enters his truck and drives around town.
Without planning, he finds himself getting closer to Justin Avenue, where Sheryl’s house is.
He slows down as he reaches her house, noticing the police car in the driveway.
Sheryl has a nice porch, and Owen said he enjoys sitting there to read, but he’s not there now.
Will is tempted to honk, but he’s more likely to catch Sheryl’s attention, and that’s the last thing he wants.
With a tired sigh, he switches gears and continues to drive.
It’s the weekend, and there are families walking around town; some are grabbing a late lunch, and some are shopping.
Will stops to eat a sandwich, but the food is tasteless, so he leaves half of it on the tray and returns to his truck.
Maybe he can grab a nap—which he rarely does—but at least it will be better than feeling so crappy, and yes, hurt.
He drives into the pathway leading up to his house, slowing down when he sees someone sitting on the stairs of his porch. His heart beats faster when he recognizes Owen. He parks and hurries to climb out. “Hey, I’ve been looking for you.”
Owen stands up, his backpack at his feet. He’s looking at Will without meeting his eyes. “Sorry, I needed… I needed some time.”
“Is it your aunt? Did she find out?” He hates how scared that thought makes him.
“It’s not about my aunt. I… shit, I’m sorry, but I need you to tell me something, and I need you to be honest with me.”
Will stands very still. He doesn’t need to hear any more since it’s clear what this is about.
It was bound to happen eventually, but he hoped to be the one controlling the narrative before anyone else could poison Owen’s opinion of him.
He feels betrayed and angry, but most of all, he’s disappointed because he knows the damage has been done.
“Does it matter if I’m honest? You’ve made up your mind.”
“I didn’t!” Owen takes a step forward, breathing heavily but finally meeting Will’s eyes.
“If I did, I wouldn’t have been here begging you to tell me the truth.
I don’t know you that well, but I think I know enough to…
fuck, just tell me it’s a lie, okay? That it didn’t happen like that between you and Joel. ”
I can’t do that.
Will looks down at his feet. He wishes to be done with this conversation, to tell Owen to fuck off, then go into his house and forget he ever met this man.
He owes no explanation to anyone in this town, and it’s not like he could ever make them change their minds.
He just hoped it wouldn’t be the same with Owen.
He opens his mouth to ask Owen to leave, but the words refuse to come. The way Owen looks at him tightens his throat. There’s deep sadness in those blue eyes, an urgent plea for Will to fight for this, to state his case.
He’s so used to people not being willing to hear his truth, he’s forgotten that telling it was even an option. He wets his lips and asks, “Can we drive somewhere? I don’t want to talk about it here.”
Owen nods. “Where to?”
Will remembers Tracy Chapman’s words: Any place is better… starting from zero got nothing to lose. “There’s a spot I like out of town. Do you have a jacket?”