Chapter Six
Niko
Becoming addicted to one thing is new for me.
We all have things we give our time to. For me, it is my niece and nephew, my sister, and my shop. Working on cars clears my head, spending time with the people I love fulfils my days. Or so I had thought until I walked into a flower shop and found the woman that fulfills everything in my life.
Spending time with Nova is all I want to do lately. We’ve spent a dozen nights parked in my truck, cuddled beneath the stars, unable to tear ourselves apart. I hate dropping her off at her place. We stay up there longer and longer now, neither one of us wants our nights to end.
“I want to meet her, Niko,” my sister says once again as I hold a fussing Evan. We’re putting up their tree tonight, as we have each year since the kids’ first Christmas. It’s more important since we lost Eddie that I be here. Sutton knows I am anxious to go see my girl, but it will wait.
“You will. At my holiday Festivus,” I tell her with a grin, spinning my nephew round the tree until his bad attitude turns to giggles. “I will bring her there to meet everyone. It just...it is not time yet. It will be soon.”
This weekend I am hosting my usual party with all the usual suspects. I go a bit bigger each year. Sleigh rides, decorating a huge tree at my cabin, holiday games, punch and cookies I make from my grandmother’s recipe. It is the best time where we create a ton of memories together.
Nova may be against the holidays—something to do with her brother and parents is all I have gotten out of her—but I want her there. It is an important part of my year where everyone I care about gathers. I care about her. It will feel so incomplete if she is not there with me.
“Ava and Evan seem to approve,” she tells me with a nod at the two as they sit by the fireplace with hot chocolate.
My cabin is ready to go for tomorrow’s big night. I considered trying to convince Nova to stay over at my place tonight, but I fear it might seem like I am pressuring her to attend the party. I want her to want to be there with me to celebrate, not be forced to do something that she is against.
My sister and the kids live a few miles from me, all of us settled in at the base of the mountains. Tonight, we will do up the tree here for Sutton and the kids, with their favorite candy-colored ornaments. But at my cabin, a huge tree waits to be done up tomorrow. Sutton will come over tomorrow for us to cook and bake, and before the sun sets guests will start flooding my place. We drink egg nogg, aged whiskey, exchange small presents, and spend time with our friends and families before everyone has their own Christmases.
“Tomorrow,” I start with a sigh, glancing out at the light snow falling. “Can we not put too much of a Christmas spin on the party?”
Sutton blinks at me, tearing her gaze from the kids. “It is a Christmas party, Niko, is it not? Why would we act otherwise?”
“I told you, she…Nova does not celebrate the holidays. Not because it is against her religion or anything so simple. I have not had a chance to find out what it is. I think it is…it has something to do with her losing her parents.”
“And her brother,” Sutton stuns me as she adds this.
“Her brother is gone too?”
“Well, no, he is alive but…I was friends with Oaklin too…her brother's girlfriend but…I mean, it is not my place to tell their story. I understand why she would hate the holidays though. Poor thing. We will teach her to love it again, Niko. If anyone can, you sure as heck can.”
For the rest of the night, all I can think about is Nova. How alone she must be tonight. How hard the holidays must be for her without her parents, without her brother. What kind of brother abandons his sister on a holiday?
Who would leave such a sweet soul all alone?
I am still thinking about this the following morning as I add the finishing touches for the party. Nova agreed to come after I pled my case that I want her to know the people in my life. She is an important person in my life now, so she should be here. I promised not to go Who-Ville holidays on her.
Still, as I look at the cabin, I fear it will be too much for her. Twinkling lights and glittering snowflakes hang from the ceilings, a huge tree takes up the corner by the fireplace, with bright blue and silver ornaments just waiting to be hung. Along a far wall, a table is full of sweets and savory snacks and dozens of little presents in lovely silver and blue wrapping.
“Jesus, did I still go too far?” I whisper as I take it all in.
Before I can reconsider any of it, there is a knock at the door. I know without having to look who it is. I can feel her now. I hate being away from her, and it’s been just weeks since we started seeing each other. Nothing else matters to me now that she is here. I rush to the door, throwing it open. I am right, she is here, and she looks more stunning than I expected.
Beneath her gray peacoat is the prettiest dress I have ever seen. I think it is so pretty because it is on her, fitting to all her curves and the nip of her waist as if made just for her. With a frilly bottom and lace top that shows off her creamy skin, she looks like a winter fairy with her lilac hair.
“Holy heavens,” I breathe, reaching out to her. “You look...stunning. You’re so beautiful.”
Nova flushes, ducking her hair as she tucks some wavy strands of lilac hair behind her ear. Her eyes come up to mine and the air is punched from my lungs at the brightness, the sparkle in them. That sparkle that I told her I wanted to bring back shines up at me now.
Overtaken, I gently cup the back of her neck, dragging her close. Dipping my head, I brush my mouth over hers softly. Nova lets out a little sound and I lose it. My tongue lashes at her sweet lips before pushing inside her mouth, eating her next sound. I gather her close, almost lifting her off her feet as the kiss goes on, growing hotter, hungrier, as if a dam has broken.
“Nova,” I moan against her mouth as I break the kiss. “You’re so beautiful , nothing else even comes close. I can’t believe you’re here for me.”
“Well, here I am. All for you,” she whispers back, gazing up at me from beneath thick, dark lashes.
“Good. Plan on keeping it that way. Come on in, honey,” I mutter before I brush my mouth over hers again. We sigh together and I can feel her smile before my own lips turn up in one of their own.
Taking her hand, I lead her inside, gently pulling her coat off her slim shoulders. I hang it up with mine next to the door before I find her hand again. I watch her as she takes the cabin in. It is not the first time she has been here, of course, but it looks different than before.
Besides the tree and the fire roaring in the fireplace, all the presents, the lights, the spread of food, it could be too much for her. I hold my breath as she takes it all in, smiling softly as she sees the tree waiting to be decorated.
“I swear I won’t...you do not have to do anything you do not want to. I won’t make you sing carols or drink egg nogg. I just want you here, honey.”
Rounding to face me, her eyes are sparkling still as she leans against me. I stare down at her as my heart sputters to a stall in my chest. Jesus, I am crazy about her. I can’t think of anything else anymore. If she did not want to be here tonight, I might have cancelled the party just to be with her instead.
Nova smiles up at me, bouncing a shoulder. “Christmas is all over town. I still survive. I can just...not partake if I choose not to. You do not have to rein it in for me, honey. I am here. I want to be here, with you,” she hums.
The night could end right here, and it would be the best night ever. Brushing my knuckles over her cheek, I smile so big my face splits in half. Lowering my head, I brush my nose against hers before I take her mouth again. I have half a mind to cancel the party anyway. I rather us be alone.
“They’re coming,” she whispers, pulling back as I stand there dazed. Nodding her head, she indicates the noise outside the front door.
“What if I don’t want them to? I want you to myself,” I admit softly, staring down at her, hoping she sees how much I mean it.
“Can’t turn them away now, Niko. Besides, who said you do not have me to yourself?”
Yeah, that’s it, I am done. I am head over heels for Nova. Bending my head, I kiss her again, ignoring the knocks and the playful shouts from the other side of the door that won’t quit. Finally, I let her go to answer the door.
“We’re here!”
Ava shouts this as she rushes past me, Evan on her heels as they race towards the tree. They stop once they see Nova. I watch her kneel down to talk to them, my chest warming as my heart doubles at the sight. They laugh with her, talking a mile-a-minute about the party, the snacks, and Santa.
Before I can rescue her, Sutton bustles past me, arm loaded down with more food and gifts. Without waiting for me to introduce her to Nova, she heads right for her. I start to cut her off but before I can, Tanner and Tillie come in. Tanner guides me over to the table with the food, adding some of Tillie’s homemade sweets to it, as he always does.
In no time at all, others come flood in, filling the cabin up fast. Solo and Selena come in with their son, Silas, who is followed by Mason, Tanner and Tillie’s son. Laughter and quiet chatter fill the cabin as I stay by the door, welcoming the flood of friends coming in.
Before I know it, the skies have fallen dark, and the cabin is full of some of the most important people in my life. Sutton and I will go with the kids to my parents’ place in town, but for now this is our Christmas together. I greet Jet and Chevi Maverick, friends I have worked on auto builds with, as well as Bentley and Nikki Lane, other partners from Chevi’s auto boutique firm.
“How’s shop up here, brother?” Bentley wonders as he grabs us both a whiskey.
“Doing well, things have been going well this winter,” I answer, sipping the whiskey as I try to locate my girl.
Slowly, I scan the crowded cabin, suddenly second-guessing hosting the party here. Each year it has grown as our friendships have grown with the guys from Foxtrot Freight here in town, and Felle Landings in Driftwood. I might believe the more the merrier, but it might be too much for Nova.
“Your girl is looking for you,” Sutton’s voice calls before she nudges me off to chat with Bentley and Nikki.
Scanning the room again, I start to panic when I do not see her. If I left her alone too long, she might have bailed on me. I wouldn’t blame her. I weave through the crowd, my panic rising slowly with each hello and well-wishing that is not from her. My heart is thundering in my chest, my gaze growing almost frantic until, at last, I see her.
My pretty flower is tucked in a corner, away from the crowd. There is so much sadness about her gaze when it meets mine. Not just the sadness in her eyes, it's in the downturn of her pretty mouth, in the way her curvy body is hiding from the rest of the room. Looking for an escape, looking for a way out of this. Out of something I never should have demanded she be part of.
“Hey, honey,” I whisper gently, bending to press a soft kiss to her temple. I draw her close to my side. Well, hell; she is shaking as she stands here all alone. I abandoned her while I made the rounds and played host. “I am so sorry. I got lost for a moment. I should have stuck with you.”
“I am fine. I am,” she mutters even as her hands tremble as I take them in mine. “Everything is fine.”
“Honey, talk to me. Tell me what it is. How can I make it better?”
Nova stares up at me, but it is as if she cannot see me at all. There is a faraway look in her pretty eyes. I move closer, blocking her from the rest of the party, trying too late to protect her. What the hell was I thinking? I had to know there was a reason she did not celebrate. Something that could rattle her the way it obviously has, and I just let her fend for herself while I played the big party guy who takes care of everyone.
What I should have been doing was taking care of my pretty flower.
“I should not have come,” she whispers, bowing her head shamefully. “I know better. This is just...this is all a bad idea.”
That panic I felt before, when I could not find her, explodes inside of me. Does she mean the two of us when she says this is all a bad idea? No, she cannot mean that. We are not a bad idea. Being with her is the best idea I’ve ever had. It might be too early to tell her how much I care about her, how important she has become to me—but it is not a bad idea to feel what I do.
“I never should have left you alone. I won’t again. It is not a bad idea to be here to celebrate. We can celebrate anything you want, Nova. It does not have to be Christmas or Hannukah or anything you do not want to celebrate. I just want you here with me,” I tell her gently as I cradle her face in my own shaking hands. I am afraid she is going to walk out of here today and never let me see her again. I am not sure that I can handle that.
“This is me, Niko, my own issues, my own troubles,” she mutters, shaking her head as she backs up against the corner even more. “I never should have pretended I could do this. It is just....”
“Tell me, Nova. Tell me what it is, tell me how I can make it better.”
Nova’s chin lifts, eyes blazing as they stare up at me. I screwed up. I should have held her hand to keep her at my side or thrown the entire party out the moment I knew something was wrong. It was there, bothering me, even as I greeted everyone and played the good host, it was there.
For a moment, I am afraid she won’t even answer me. That she will continue to keep me out. I would not blame her for shutting down on me. I promised I would not make this hard for her. That I would be at her side. I broke my promise.
It will be the last promise I ever break.
“Niko,” her eyes go soft as her voice trembles. Sailing past me, she takes in the entire crowd, the lights, the presents, her breath shuddering. “I do not do Christmas...celebrate it...because I lost everything on Christmas. My parents died on Christmas Eve so...it was hard for us to celebrate for a while. We did the best we could together...until...it was hard before...well, last year he just...he ruined it all. Now I am just...I don’t want it. To celebrate, to pretend life is about comfort or joy because it is not. It is discomfort, pain, loss and loneliness.”
Inside my chest, my heart stills before it breaks in half. My poor little flower. “Oh, honey.... I am so fucking sorry. I can’t even...” Trailing off, I lower my head to touch my brow to hers.
“I can’t be here. I... I need to go. Please , I need to get out of here,” her words are broken, panicked, and I can do nothing to fix it. Not yet, not after I made her come here and face this without knowing what she was facing. How could I have been so selfish? What the hell was I thinking?
“Nova,” I talk gently, backing up to give her space, but not moving out of her way. “I am so sorry. I will make it up to you. I will fix it, I promise. Look at me, I swear I will. Do you believe me?”
Nova stares up at me for a moment before she nods. Before I can make another promise, she presses her lips to mine before she is gone, fleeing the party without a single glance back. With her goes a huge part of me.
How can I celebrate without her here with me?