Chapter Seven
Nova
Avoidance is a skill I have mastered.
After we lost our parents, I avoided the truth for weeks, months even. I knew they were gone, I realized they were not coming back. I just could not face what that meant for us. I tried my best to avoid my brother and best friend's betrayal. Orion did his best to get through to me, but I refused him.
I can avoid most things with ease—except for one. Niko Hughs will not let me avoid him.
It has been a few nights since that disaster of a holiday hoe-down at his place. I have no idea why I agreed to go. Well, yes, I do. I wanted to see him. I wanted to be with him. To try for him. Christmas is hard on me, it has been all but ruined for me, but for him...for him it is still magic and wonder.
Niko has texted, called, and sent flowers every single day. I cannot avoid him because he is relentless. Flowers being delivered to my flower shop is weird enough. Having them sent to my house, getting cute text messages about him missing me and not giving up, it is all new for me.
“Ease up on the guy,” Hudson implores as I burrow my face in another bouquet of beautiful blue hyacinths. “A class act sends flowers to the florist,” he teases, shoving me playfully as he heads out with a delivery.
It is akin to sending the best chocolates to the candy maker or the sweetest tarts to the baker. Niko has gone out of his way to send me these flowers. I am the one florist shop in True Ridge—he has ordered flowers from all over Tennessee and Georgia.
I laugh as my phone vibrates in my pocket. Another text from Niko. All day long he sends texts. Asking how I am doing, what I am up to, whether I am creating any special flower arrangements, did I eat something. How can I avoid him when he is so relentless?
“ Morning beautiful ,” his text pings, making my heart flutter. “ I hope today is a good day for us both. Taking the Lost Boys shopping for their mama. Might pick up something special for this pretty flower girl I know. ”
“ No gifts. No holiday cute stuff, ” I send back, even though I find myself wanting to know what sort of something special he would pick up for me.
“All the cute holiday stuff for my girl , ” he replies immediately.
Flushing, I set the phone down. This is what he has called me any chance he has had since these texts have begun. His girl. I’ve never been anyone’s girl before. Am I his? Do I even want to be? The constant flutter in my chest, and the hot tug in my belly says yes, I do.
“ Do you always make a big deal about holidays? ”
“ Yes, honey, I do. Birthdays, anniversaries, Easter. ” He teases me with little emoticons of cake, champagne glasses, an Easter bunny, and big smiling faces. “C all it blind optimism or sad hopefulness, I don’t know. I just think life is a gift, it is amazing, and we ought to celebrate it when we can. ”
Smiling so big my face hurts, I shake my head. What am I doing with this man? Until a few days ago, I would have never agreed to go to his holiday party. After being so overwhelmed I had to flee, I could have just cut things off completely. But the truth is—I do not want to.
“I suppose I am a blind pessimist. It's just...hard,” I answer him, closing my eyes as I recall his face when I blurted out why I hate Christmas.
Niko held my gaze with not just empathy or pity but understanding. Few people understand the kind of loss I have been dealt. Considering my brother a loss is unfair. Orion still reaches out; I just refuse to talk to him or Oaklin. I am just too damn stubborn to accept their apologies or peace offerings.
Working on bouquets seems too tedious for my wearied head. Letting Hudson know I am closing shop—something I often do on a whim—I lock up and head downtown. I am not sure what I am looking for or why I cannot stay focused on work.
All I can think about is the holidays and how much I used to love them. As I wander through the dressed-up stores with their holly and twinkling lights, I wonder what a Christmas with Niko would be like. That same flutter from earlier returns in my chest, making my heart stutter as I imagine it.
“There’s my beautiful flower,” a husky, all-too familiar voice hums beside me. Closing my eyes, I breathe in the fresh winter air and smile as his sweet, soap and musk scent fills my lungs. I am at ease as I feel his body press close to mine, warming me.
“He-hello,” I stammer, turning my head to see him towering over me.
Niko grins big, dimple flashing even, his light eyes sparkling. Gosh, he is so pretty. Have I ever thought a man was pretty before? Not that I recall. I mean, my brother Orion is a looker, I suppose. I’ve never looked at a man and just wanted to stare at him, to learn each of his features.
Warmth spreads over my hip, to my belly. His large hand is beneath my sweater, burning my skin in the sweetest way. I turn my head a little more, letting it fall back on his shoulder. I missed this. This thing that I feel with him, this sense of being safe and protected from the rest of the world.
“I missed you,” he whispers against my ear, brushing his lips there. His hands tighten on me, and he tugs me back against his firm chest. “I have a feeling I won’t be good without seeing you every single day. Several times a day, if you would allow it. Damn, I missed you,” he repeats, his face now burrowed in my neck, his arms going tight around me.
Relaxing back against him, I sigh contentedly. I missed him too. We were talking or seeing each other every day, as he just demanded, before that night at his party. I thought some distance was good for us. I guess I thought wrong. Being close to him again, seeing those light eyes and that smile proves it to me.
I won’t be good without seeing him either.
“I missed you too,” I admit, wanting to give him something.
Niko sighs and draws me even closer somehow. Neither of us seem to notice the shopping crowds, the cluster of carolers on the corner closest to us, or the clang of the donation bell a hearty Stanta is ringing.
I am hit with a rush of nostalgia about shopping for gifts, wrapping them while Christmas songs play, and baking sweets from my mother’s hand-written recipes. Why did I turn my back on a holiday I loved so much?
Can Niko make me want to celebrate it again? Can he make me want to celebrate life?
“Good. Then we’re both suffering,” he teases, kissing my neck gently as he pulls back to smirk at me.
“Nova! Nova! We’re going shopping! You’re coming too?”
Blinking down at the twirling, twisting toddlers who appear out of nowhere, I laugh. Not fair. He has two extra doses of cute with him. How can I tell a little girl who is beaming up at me, excited about the same things I was once excited about, that no, the holidays suck, and I am a bah-humbug?
“If you two approve,” Niko responds before I can deny or agree. “I would never ask Nova to share me with you two,” he teases, winking at me.
Inside my cold, still chest, my heart melts. There is something in that smile, in the sparkle in his eye that tells me he would gladly be shared. Him offering me an out is kind of him. There is no way I can say no to either of them. Nodding my head, my chest blooms with heat as his smile lights up his entire stupid handsome face.
“Yeah? You want to come with us, honey? We’re on the hunt for the perfect gifts for my sister. Those flowers were strictly a birthday gift.”
“Sutton deserves a good gift putting up with you,” I tease him.
There in the cool afternoon sunshine, Niko tosses his head back to laugh. His throat works, one of his arms banding tighter around me. His laughter rumbles against my back and I am so pleased, so at peace being so close to him, feeling and hearing his soft laughter. I have no defense for this man. From the first moment he walked into my flower shop, the iciness I have clung to as a shield, as protection, has started to melt bit by bit.
“That she does, honey. Come on, let’s go get my sister something she won’t forget.”
Holding his hand out, he watches me for a moment. Giving me another out. I sigh, shaking my head as I smile back at him. Sliding my hand into his, I nod once again. I am going to go shopping with him and his niece and nephew. I know next to nothing about his sister Sutton, but if she created these adorable creatures, and tolerates her intolerable brother, she does deserve something special if you ask me.
With our laced hands swinging between us, we follow the kids’ lead. They first head for a toy store, which he allows. He whispers to me that he wants to see what sorts of things they get excited about. What better way to get the perfect gift for them.
“Oh, this is so pretty,” Ava gushes as she stops to stare at a doll. It is pretty, and in fact, it looks much like her. Shining dark hair, bright blue eyes, an impish smile, and it stands as tall as she does in a western era dress.
“It is pretty,” I agree with her, the two of us sharing a smile. “Does that mean you’re all about cowboys and cowgirls?”
“Oh, yes, I love horses! I want to ride one!”
“I did not know that.” Niko replies with a frown. “What else have you been keeping from me? Have you begun driving? Got a boyfriend?”
Ava laughs at him the cutest, softest little laugh and I can’t help but join. Niko grins at me, winking as he drops down to her level. They chat for a moment about boyfriends and her making sure he approves of them first. My heart melts a little more as I watch them chat and laugh together, Niko talking to her as if she is his best friend.
Evan tugs at my hand, then wiggles his little wrists at me when I glance down at him. I panic for a moment. He wants me to hold him. Pick him up and hold him while we shop. I start to think of excuses not to, of a way out, until he smiles and flexes his chubby little hands once more. Then I bend, scooping him up and propping him at my hip.
“What’s going on little Nibs?” I whisper, cocking my head at him. His eyes light up when I use the nickname Niko does with him.
“I want monkey,” he whispers back, even hiding the secret behind his little hand. Uh, yes, heart entirely melted. Damn Niko and his Lost Boys.
“That is what you want for Christmas? What sort of monkey?”
Evan considers this, looking thoughtful before he answers. “I want a blue one. Blue monkey.”
Seeming pleased with his answer, he nods and smiles. Then he wiggles a little before he nestles against me, burrowing his face in my shoulder. For a moment, I wait for the panic to hit. The unease. Surely, he should not be so comfortable with me. And I should definitely not like holding him this way, his little toddler hand brushing at my purple hair.
Gaze flying to Niko, I am still waiting for that panic. He stands watching us, something shimmering in those ice blue eyes of his. I cannot figure what it is so I stare at him, as if he will tell me what is going on in his head. But no, he just smiles and nods his head, as if deciding something with as much certainty as Evan is about his blue monkey.
Bouncing my shoulder because I am surprisingly unbothered, I follow him through the store as we let the kids dream and play. Evan sticks close to my side, either climbing me like a little monkey himself, or hanging on my leg as Niko keeps our hands tightly woven between us.
Christmas shopping used to be my favorite thing to do. It has been a long time since I even considered hitting the shops for gifts. Somehow, doing it with Niko and his niece and nephew comes easier than I expect. It might be because the kids have such wonder left in them. Or because he has wonder left too and hearing him talk about celebrating as often as he can melts a little more of my ice-cold heart.
“This will be the best Christmas,” he declares as we carry bags of goodies from a full day of shopping.
“You think so?” I answer with a laugh, nodding at the back of his truck which is full of dozens of gifts for his sister, a brother I have yet to meet, and even some for the kids.
“Not because of a few gifts in pretty packages,” he insists, pulling me to him after he has buckled the kids in safely. I burrow against his firm chest, warmed by the tightness of his thick arms wrapped around me. “Because of you, honey. If anyone got the best gift this year, it was me finding you.”
Snuggling against his chest, I do not argue because how can I? My heart is completely melted—I even find myself humming along with the Christmas music filling the streets. He is right— this may be the best Christmas ever.
Because for the first time in a long time—I want to celebrate.