20. Jimmy
Jimmy
E xhaustion from the long week had me sagging in the seat by Sutton’s fire pit, but the butterflies that had been with me long before arriving still fluttered in my chest, making me feel half-high with elation.
The guys had been really nice to me, no judgment in their eyes or dirty looks over my obvious interest in Sutton.
Out of them all, I’d expected Jamie to corner me and ask me my intentions toward his dad, and even though he’d had the opportunity a couple of times, including at Chaz’s shop, he’d didn’t speak a word.
Maybe he assumed I was just a flirt and had no intentions.
But I couldn’t keep my gaze off the chief.
His broad shoulders that could carry the weight of the world.
His strong jawline covered in a soft-looking beard that stated he could take whatever shit someone threw at him.
The sure, steady way he moved, the confidence that oozed from him.
Everything about the man was sexy as fuck, including the interior package that attracted every cell in my body like a magnet.
Kindness. Compassion. His nurturing soul I craved to have intertwined around my broken one. I longed to be pressed against him, to soak in his nature until I was healed. We would meld together and never be separated.
Deep yearning flooded through me, and I slouched farther into my seat, focused on glowing red embers that weren’t doing much to ward off the chill of the September evening. I huddled in my sweatshirt, wishing I’d worn a fleece jacket or something heavier.
“Not really sure what I want to do after Dad’s house sells,” I finally answered Dex. “There’s nothing for me in Boston.” I glanced at Sutton again, desperate for a hint of what he thought about my future plans.
Legs stretched out and crossed, he scanned the darkened horizon, always on the lookout for danger that might threaten his town.
Warmth filled my chest over his protective instincts, making my eyes sting.
Fuck, did I want him.
An owl hooted, a soothing sound I hadn’t heard in years, causing a small smile to rise through the welling wetness coating my vision.
“What’s up with DJ?” Jamie asked, poking a stick into the dying fire and causing embers to rise with the smoke. “You’ve been spending a lot of time with that kid.”
“He needs a friend,” I answered quietly, watching as the sparks faded into the night sky.
“He’s lucky to have you,” Chaz said. “I know what it’s like not to have the best relationship with your dad, and if it hadn’t been for Jamie and Sutton…” His voice trailed off, and Jamie entwined their hands together in my periphery.
“But there’s hope things could get better between them,” Chaz continued. “Not sure if you knew, but my dad was a major asshole to me up until the beginning of this year. We’ve both been going to therapy and are working to better ourselves and our relationship.”
Therapy.
Inwardly, I shivered. No fucking thank you.
“ You’re lucky,” I suggested. “Not many guys get a second chance like that.”
None of the men around the fire offered condolences for my loss.
I guessed they were well aware I didn’t mourn my dad’s passing.
There had been no apologies from him, no forgiveness from me, but I didn’t carry a burden of weight over that part of my life.
Yeah, my childhood had sucked ass, but even if he had crawled to me on hands and knees, wallowing and horrified over how he’d treated me, I would have turned my back on him.
Boundaries and all that shit.
Just because he’d been blood didn’t mean I owed him a goddamned ounce of affection or moment of my time.
Dex slapped his thigh, pulling me into the present. “Well, I have to be in at the station early tomorrow. Gonna call it a night.” He stood, and Jamie and Chaz did the same.
Sutton didn’t argue their leaving earlier than I expected they usually did but pushed up to his feet to hug his friend and family goodbye.
Jamie was the last to walk away, clasping his dad’s shoulder with a wink before glancing at me. “‘Night, Jimmy.”
“Thanks again for the invite.”
“My pleasure.”
I stared after the three guys as they made their way around the house toward the front.
Was Jamie… encouraging his dad with that little wink?
My gaze fixed on Sutton’s back as he shoved his hands in his pockets. His shoulders hitched near his ears, and he took a steadying breath before turning toward me.
Our gazes clashed over what was left of the fire, and heat sizzled through my blood.
Car doors slammed, and seconds later, engines roused to life. The crunch of gravel faded as the two vehicles drove off, leaving me and the chief alone.
Fucking finally.
“Sorry I don’t have any wine. Want another beer?” Sutton asked, his voice a little hoarse, and I wondered whether his tone hinted at desire or fear over my still being there.
I didn’t care either way. He hadn’t suggested I leave—and he’d offered me a reason to stay.
“Sure.” My voice shook, and I slid damp palms down my chilled jeans.
“We can go inside if you’re getting too cold.”
I nodded, and after he set a screen lid over the fire pit, I followed him into the house.
The silence felt heavy but not stifling, thick with tingling anticipation as we cracked open our beers and headed into the living room.
Sutton sat in the corner of his couch, and I settled not quite in the center but close enough he could touch me if he wanted to.
Arm across the back of the cushions, he angled toward me, gaze sliding over my face as though searching out all my secrets.
But I didn’t take his suspicion personally.
Chief gave everyone that inquisitive look—it was his damned job and probably deeply engrained in his brain to root out any possible danger to his community.
Naturally, he would do the same with his heart.
“What’s on your mind, Sutton?” I asked without the usual sass or suggestive smirk.
“What kind of trouble did you get into down in Boston?” He asked the question carefully, and I recognized the test for what it was.
I could lie and prove myself to be a man he couldn’t trust, or I could be honest. Vulnerable. Give him what he wanted that could very well make him grimace even though Jamie’s stance on sex work gave me hope he might not hate that part of my past.
My heart raced from both arousal and fear, causing my stomach to curdle. I set the full beer on the coffee table.
“I had just over a hundred bucks to my name when I left here that night,” I said, and Sutton seemed ready for whatever tale I would weave, gaze unwavering.
I went with the truth because I was that desperate, that needy for the man to let me in past his own walls.
Maybe he would allow me to love him—and gain his in return.
High stakes, but the possibilities of good overshadowed getting hurt.
Fuck knew I’d dealt with plenty of that and would find a way to move on even if Sutton was disgusted by how I had supported myself.
“I lived out of my car while delivering for a pizzeria for a few months. But the piece of shit died on me, and I had to abandon it on the side of the road where it had left me stranded.” I stared at Sutton’s knee while telling him about how cold it had been attempting to survive on the streets in a cooler than normal spring.
How cardboard boxes didn’t really help a whole lot other than to keep the biting wind off my body.
“I lost my job,” I said and swallowed hard, my muscles tensing in readiness to leave. “Ended up giving blow jobs in back alleys so I could buy myself some food.”
Sutton didn’t speak, didn’t move.
I glanced up to find him watching me, his expression void of both revulsion and judgment like I’d expected. If anything, his hazel eyes encouraged me to continue in the path I’d chosen that wasn’t complete bullshit like I’d have spewed as a teen.
Clearing my throat, I rubbed my palms down my thighs again , and shifted my focus back to his knee.
“Shit escalated from there. I was stupid. Wasn’t safe.
But I escaped that time of my life without any lasting health issues.
Met this kid named Sean Fox at a party one night.
He wasn’t into pretty twinks, but he said he had the perfect job for me if I was interested. ”
I hesitated, unsure of how to continue even though I’d already told Sutton I’d become a hole for pay.
“Elite,” Sutton filled in when the silence grew to be too much.
My focus jerked toward his face, and I swallowed hard. “Did Jamie tell you?”
He didn’t exactly smile, but he wasn’t scowling either. “No. I’ve been keeping watch over you for years.”
“Because I’m a part of your Pippen Creek flock?” I held my breath.
“No—because I care.” The warmth of his tone slid through my veins. “I appreciate you telling me the truth, Jimmy.”
“You expected me to lie.” I didn’t ask a question. I could read it on his face clear as the green glints in his kind eyes.
“I hate to say that I did, but yeah,” he said before releasing a heavy sigh and sinking into the couch. I hadn’t realized he’d been tensed, waiting for me to pull my usual shit.
“Because I cried wolf one too many times as a kid.” I supplied yet another truth he was well aware of. “It’s a part of my past,” I stated quietly, studying his face for a hint of his thoughts and desires, coming up empty as usual. “I’m not getting paid to fuck for money anymore.”
Sutton nodded as though he was already aware I’d quit Elite before returning to Pippen Creek.
“My ex-wife manipulated me into sleeping with her in high school. Some might even call what she did to me rape.”
My brain scrambled to navigate the sharp turn in conversation along with him.
His honesty acted like helium to my hope, but the words he’d spoken made me crash and burn just as quickly—I’d attempted to do the same as his ex but without the non-consent.
I’d wanted him willing. As desperate for me as I was for him.
No wonder the man stood like an oak against my flirty onslaught.
Sutton eyed me, watching my rolling emotions probably play out on my face since I no longer had the energy to hide from him. “She hoped to get pregnant because she knew I would marry her and save her from her father, who was a lot like yours.”
“Shit,” I muttered, my eyelids fluttering shut. I was doomed. It was no wonder Sutton had turned me down and pushed me away every time I’d tried to get my hands on his body.
“You’re not her.”
My eyes popped back open, and my pulse stuttered, breath held as I waited for him to continue.
“Since you’ve been home…” Sutton’s gaze flitted over my face but without the calculating type of investigative interest as usual. He seemed to study my features for further reflection or maybe to think on later. Spank bank material?
A boy could hope.
I sat still when I would rather have climbed onto his lap and begged him to take whatever he wanted from me—because everything he embodied was exactly what I needed.
“You’ve grown up, Jimmy. Learned some hard lessons while away. I’m damned proud of how you’ve been looking out for both Mary and her grandson.”
Tears stung my eyes again as a sense of having accomplished something good swelled inside my chest.
Sutton blew out a heavy exhale and finished off his beer, the bob of his Adam’s apple making me want to lean in and lick a stripe along his skin.
My mouth watered as my gaze slid down over his chest with the dark blue shirt clinging to his pecs and draped casually over the waistband of his jeans. The bulge below, along with those tented sweats earlier, promised he packed a perfect dick.
“I wasn’t trying to trap you,” I whispered, swallowing at the rush of saliva coating my mouth over the thought of sucking him off.
“I know.”
“You always made me feel safe, and I may have had a slight crush on you.”
He chuckled, one eyebrow raised.
“Okay, so I still do,” I admitted and shrugged. “I’m needy, what can I say?”
Sutton’s eyes darkened far beyond the hint of interest I’d seen before. His pupils swelled as his gaze dipped, roaming slowly over me.
Whatever walls had stood between us no longer existed.
Fuck, honesty was a beautiful thing.
Goose bumps scattered over my skin, causing me to shiver. The memory of what I’d overheard Jamie tell Chaz about Sutton’s desire spurred me on, desperation dictating my actions. Heart racing, I slid off the couch onto my knees.
Sutton’s breath hitched, but he didn’t speak or move as I crawled the short distance between us and settled onto my heels in front of him.
I’d tossed the facade aside, but rather than be honest with what I truly wanted from him, I shamefully chose manipulation, using the exact word that would get me what I hoped for tonight.
“I need to taste you.”