Nemesync (Soulfound #1)

Chapter 34 – Zanae

34

ZANAE

T his little day was perfect, and even with that, this feeling in me didn’t go away.

The guilt, the lingering pain—it all weighs me down.

The feeling that, even if things improve around me, it doesn’t get better inside.

Why can’t I move on? It’s like the shattered pieces in me cut through from time to time. And it’s fucking painful.

I feel home here, with them, with Elijah. But even if it’s my home I still feel like my spirit will never be unbroken.

I feel myself dissociating again.

The sky was dark, full of clouds just like my mind. Blurry and sad.

Elijah noticed the flush in my cheeks from the wine and sensed my detachment. His fingers gently traced my cheek, his voice low and soft, “Feeling better?”

Wrapped in the warmth of his presence, I responded with a soft smile, “Much better, especially with you around.”

It’s true, I’m not ready to let go because of him. Even if I can’t shake this feeling away, I don’t want him to worry. I want to feel him, especially when I’m not in my thoughts.

The other two, engrossed in their own conversation, glanced over us.

Niko grinned and nudged Ben, remarking, “Look at these two. I might cry.”

“He’s just such a softie around her,” Benny added.

Elijah smirked at his two friends. “Don’t let appearances fool you. I can be soft when it counts.”

With my hand in his, I interjected, “He’s not at all. But it’s a secret between him and I.”

I want to tell them how sorry I am to be this weak even if they do everything to prove me different. I’m not okay but I want them to believe that they’re doing good, because they are, it’s just me. I’m not strong enough and with everything that happened these days it’s just worse.

The worst thing with depression and depersonalization is that you’re alone in this battle.

You cannot explain to others how it’s pure chaos inside your own head, because some of them might just tell you that it’s going to pass and that it’s just temporary.

But the reality is that it’s always here.

I’m always fighting as hard as I can against my own self, against that turmoil, that miserable way of thinking, the failure that comes with it every time I lose myself in my mind.

It’s hard to pretend when your mind doesn’t even want to follow.

Later, Nikolai and I found a moment alone on the balcony.

“I feel like you’re finding other ways to feel alive, I’m proud of you for that.”

I chuckled. “Thanks for being here, Niko. It means a lot.”

He leaned in with a soft smile. “Just doing my part, Little Z. Now, let’s get you inside. Elijah’s probably already preparing how to kill me because you’ll catch a cold.”

We made our way back inside, and found Elijah alone, Ben had to go again, our superhero. Eli was waiting with a subtle smile playing on his lips. “Took you both long enough. Everything alright?”

I shot him a reassuring look. “Perfectly fine. Niko made sure of that.”

Nikolai chimed in with his little grin. “Yeah, someone’s got to keep the balance in this madhouse.”

“Well, I appreciate it, Moretti. Now, let’s call it a night. Milaya , come here.”

Stepping into Elijah’s arms, I wanted to stay there forever.

Nikolai winked at us. “Alright, lovebirds. I’m off to bed. Don’t keep the neighborhood awake with whatever you’re fucking preparing tonight.”

With that, he left, leaving us alone.

Nestled in his arms, I looked up at Eli, “Hey, would you... would you tattoo something on me?”

His gaze softened as he regarded my request, a mix of surprise and curiosity coloring his eyes. “A tattoo? Are you sure about that?”

“Yeah, a tattoo. I want something from you, a mark that will always remind me of you.”

He gently stroked my cheek, smiling. “Alright, let me think about it.”

I couldn’t help but look at all his tattoos, the one on his wrist made me curious about what ideas he has for me. I traced the lines with my finger, a smile playing on my lips. “I like this one a lot. Now, what would you give me?”

The dagger on his wrist was magnificent, around it, his veins made it look like a masterpiece.

Elijah grinned. “I don’t know yet.”

The tattoo made me think of something.

I traced the contours of the blade and looked at him, “What does this one mean, Elijah?”

Memories flooded back to me; I knew exactly what the tattoo reminded me of: the first time I saw him. The night when an Outfit disappeared, and his body was found near my father’s house with a dagger carved in his flesh.

His green eyes looked back at me, like he knew exactly what I was thinking about.

“In the Bratva, the dagger is a sign for revenge. And the Pakhan gets to tattoo it on himself the day he takes up that role.”

I met his gaze, surprised and lost. “You killed the man that night?”

The green disappeared again, letting the black abyss take place in his eyes. “Which one, Milaya ?”

Was he seriously asking me this as if he does this all the time?

“Are you joking? Elijah, what did you do that night, months ago, the night when Niko followed me to the cemetery?”

He grabbed my hands in his and pressed them firmly on his chest. “That night, I saw him grab your hand, fucking leave a mark on your beautiful skin, and I saw you angry and frustrated, unable to do anything to that man.”

His jaw clenched, “All I could see was red. I’ve told you this, before you, I only saw the world in red and black, and when I saw you that night, defenseless against that jerk, I wanted to paint the room with his blood,” he confessed, his lips brushing softly against my wrist before he continued, “That night I took him after you went back home and met Niko, and I tortured him. I lacerated the nasty hands that dared to defile you, I cut off his damn tongue that dared to insult you, and I carved the dagger into his fucking flesh so that your father would know it was me.”

I looked at him, shocked. “But...”

He cut me off, grabbing my face and forcing me to look him straight in the eyes. “No but, Zanae. I leave daggers near the bodies of every man who approaches you since you were young. Everybody knows that the dagger means the Pakhan did it. Your father knew damn well that it was from me, and he couldn’t do anything about it. This was the first time I traced the contours of the dagger on a man’s skin. I wanted to make Elias understand that the more he let those bastards talk to you and touch you like that, the more violence I’ll unleash. He fucking knew that I would resurface each time and take away their miserable lives.”

“Elijah, why did you do all this?”

The darkness in his eyes drew me to drown in it, to dive headfirst into it. “Because I was and still am obsessed with you. With the thought of having you at my mercy. No one else ever had that privilege. The daggers were what made your father calm down on those meetings and missions he organized so often back then. He provoked me, and he had to deal with his damn actions.”

My voice was low and muffled. “But the Outfits would have known it was you too, right? Haven’t you thought about what it could have caused? They could have declared war on you, Elijah!”

His gaze didn’t change, but a small, mocking smile appeared, as if he found it adorable that I worry about something so trivial, which was definitely not the damn case. The Outfits were dangerous, and everyone knew it.

“ Milaya, the Outfits are under Niko’s command and mine. He has appointed a second in command in Chicago to run his affairs in the city, and even if they wanted to rebel and declare war on me, I would have welcomed it and turned that battle into a fucking graveyard. You’re worth it all.”

I let my head fall onto his chest, letting everything sink in. This man is completely crazy and completely unbalanced, but he has always done this for me. He’s willing to do anything to make sure I’m okay.

Of course, Niko holds supremacy over all the families, but I assumed the Chicago Outfits had gained considerable autonomy from the Cosa Nostra over the years.

“Eli….”

He chuckled, the resonance of his low voice palpable beneath my forehead while I attempted to regain composure.

“I am the Pakhan, not just here, everywhere. I’m one of the two leaders of the Zennites. If I want to declare war on your father tomorrow, which I dream of doing, I will, and I won’t hesitate for a single second. When it comes to you, I am ready to do anything to ensure you are well. No one, not even I, can cause you pain, Zanae. And anyone who challenges me on this, will not have time to understand what is fucking happening before I rip out their still-beating heart out of their chest and offer it to you in a bloodied box.”

I gazed at him, torn between fear and a strange mix of flattery and warmth. “At times, you terrify me, Elijah.”

His eyebrows furrowed as his hand tenderly caressed my cheek. “Why?”

I pressed his hand against my cheek to savor the sweetness it brought to my heart. “Because I’m afraid that you’ll want to hurt me again.”

He cupped my face and kissed the tip of my nose. “If the monster in me ever takes over, I will kill it myself. You know very well that I would never dare to cause you any damn pain. I would fucking end my own life before such thoughts even reaches my consciousness.”

I wholeheartedly believed him, watching as the green in his beautiful eyes re-emerged, and the darkness dissipated. Even now, I could see in them how haunted by the shadows they were when they met mine.

Every fucking twisted choice, every drop of spilled blood for my sake won’t make me back up from that man. I won’t make him feel guilty, it’s fierce and primal. The danger he willingly faced, the moments when darkness consumed him…I won’t change him for anything, he goes above and beyond to give me peace.

I leaned in, pressing a soft kiss against his lips. “You’re beautiful.”

His face was as beautiful as his soul, dark and marked with experience and scars but so beautiful. I couldn’t help but trace the lines of his features. His enchanting green eyes, his sharp jaw, his full lips, everything on him was perfect.

“Beautiful? I’m more the weathered type, Milaya .”

“Weathered, beautiful... it’s all the same. You’re my Elijah Volkov.”

His head tilted as he asked softly, “Even after what I just told you?”

“Even more.”

His eyes widened and his pupils grew bigger, then they softened as he understood the depth of my feeling toward him. “You’re killing me.”

I couldn’t even understand what made him connect with me as much as he did.

He needs light, I’m the opposite, I’m too broken to heal every part of him, I’m still trying to do the same for me.

I was lost in my thinking while looking into his eyes, zoning out in them, that deep forest.

Then my gaze went to the window. Outside the sky was full of stars, I wanted to go out and feel the air on me.

“How about taking me for a ride on your motorcycle tonight? I’d love that, Volkov.”

“Your wishes are my commands.”

We exchanged smiles, he took a big jacket for me and then we went in the parking lot. Elijah handed me a helmet, his eyes full of softness and affection. “You look too good with this on.”

I giggled, adjusting the helmet as he helped. “I look like nothing, you can’t see my face with this.”

He smiled and replied, “I can see your eyes clearly and they’re looking perfect.”

Once settled on the motorcycle, Elijah’s hands securely held the handlebars, occasionally gliding over mine, teasing me. My fingers danced on his gloves.

The city lights and the sky were perfectly mirroring what I was feeling. It was deep and obscure but with freckles of light. The wind whispered secrets only we could hear. It felt dreamy and I felt free, only he could make me feel like this.

“You know, I could get used to this,” he remarked, turning toward me.

I could only see his eyes, and even with that I felt my heartbeat fastened. “To what? Riding on a motorcycle or having me close?” I shouted over the wind.

With a smirk, he replied, “Both, Milaya .”

It felt good, being with him, sensing the danger when he went faster with the bike, everything felt good, I didn’t even want it to end. After a few minutes he parked the motorcycle near an ice cream stand, and my eyes lit up with excitement.

“You haven’t eaten anything today; I don’t want you to collapse again. I’d have to lift you up and all that,” he said sarcastically.

I mimicked an offended scream, touching my heart. “Don’t you dare remind me of that.”

He chuckled, gave me a little squeeze on the thigh, and a small kiss on the lips, whispering low, “I loved touching you, even when I had to hate you, Lapochka ,” and walked to the ice cream stand.

I couldn’t help but drool over the way his biker vest accentuated his broad shoulders, and the tattoos peeking from beneath; he’s a sight.

The man who gave him the ice cream looked terrified. I mean, I would be too. Imagine a man like Elijah Volkov, coming to you to buy sweets? I’d shit my pants.

When he returned, he handed me a cone, chocolate, exactly what I like. I smiled at him. “How do you know?”

He grabbed the back of my thighs, leaning toward me and leaving a kiss on my neck. “I know everything about you,” he said, smiling against my skin.

“Oh really? And how is that, Volkov?”

“I lived with you for months now, and god knows how much you love those little chocolate ice cream treats I buy.”

A laugh escaped me, making him grin even wider.

I ate my cone of ice cream while he watched me with a smile that made my heart burst again. “You don’t like ice cream?”

He tilted his head, kissed me, and then licked my lips. “I like watching you eat and tasting it directly from you. Not my fault if it tastes better.”

After that we just went back on the bike, my hands on him, my chest completely crushed on his back, the night air rushed past us. I gestured to Elijah, signaling for more speed. He revved up the motorcycle.

“Faster!” I shouted.

I needed more, I wanted more.

More freedom, more speed, less control.

“Hold on tight,” he replied, tapping my leg to make sure I held on tight around his waist.

The speedometer climbed, and my laughter blended with the roar of the bike. It felt like I was living again, the speed, the air, him, life never felt so vivid than in that moment.

“Is this your way of showing off, Volkov?” I teased, running a finger along his abs up and down, when we stopped.

“Oh, Lapochka , I can show off in way more ways than this,” he responded with a grin.

“So now, it’s not Milaya anymore? What does Lapochka even mean?”

He parked and took the helmet off, “It means you’re so fucking adorable right now that I want to fucking bite you.”

I shook my head and kissed his cheek. “Thank you for today, Elijah.”

He planted a small and gentle kiss on my palm and said, “Making your life enjoyable is just part of the job.”

“You’re really good at your job then.”

With a hint of arrogance, he answered, “The best. It’s my vocation.”

Smiling, I hugged him tightly.

“I mean it, you psycho. You’re making everything better.”

“And you’ve become my everything.”

I pulled back from the hug, looked up at him, and without a word, I leaned in, kissing him with a mixture of gratitude and affection. His lips on mine, my heart in his hand, his in mine. I forget everything with him, even my darkness goes away when I kiss him.

Lifting me with a playful smirk, Elijah said, “May I?”

I let my arms go around his neck. “You can do whatever you want from me Elijah.”

Elijah, placing me on the bed and hovering over me, said, “Perfect.”

I tenderly kissed his chest, while he lifted me gently to his level, and our lips met again. His lips tasted like redemption, like the salvation I needed.

My phone vibrated against me; it was a text from Brian. A picture of the mysterious woman appeared on my screen.

Brian

She was stalking you today when you were shopping.

I showed the image to Elijah, who narrowed his eyes at the picture. Concern briefly etched his features before he masked it. “We’ll deal with this tomorrow. Tonight, I want you to sleep.”

I wanted to scream from frustration but I didn’t, and he felt it like always. He pulled me close. Gazing into his eyes, I whispered, “Promise you won’t leave.” I won’t survive.

He caressed my cheeks, his eyes never felt greener than now as he responded, “I’m going to be here even if you don’t want me to because you don’t even know how much my heart fought my mind for you. You’re stuck with me forever.”

Moved and teary-eyed, I softly replied, “Then maybe, just maybe, I am enough.”

Elijah, looking deeply into my eyes, whispered, “There’s no fucking maybe. You’re more than enough. You’re consuming me, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

I kissed him one last time before succumbing to tiredness.

The end of the week was here, I survived another week, and I was proud of myself. Every day was a battle against the demons, and I won against them again.

This morning, I woke up finding Elijah still sleeping beside me. He opens his eyes a few minutes later, only to find me watching him like a creep. “Enjoying the view, Miss Dellé?”

“A lot.”

We get up and get ready for the day. I lay on the sofa, with my cup of coffee and my laptop, while he’s in his suit and ready to go to do all those important things in his office. They hide everything behind a company selling actions in diverse fields. The building is impressive; I’ve been there before, and it’s crazy to think that people pass by without knowing what’s really going on inside.

“You’re going to charm Brian with that bedhead and those pajamas?” He asked, looking down at me with a grin.

“Well, if it works for you, why not?”

Leaning in, he said, “Because, Milaya , you have an unfair advantage over me, even if you had a fucking garbage bag on you, you’ll still be the most gorgeous human being. Now, focus on your call; I have a meeting to attend.”

“I’ll wait for you to get home.”

He kissed me goodbye and left.

Brian appeared on my screen, grinning, her pink hair more vibrant than last time I saw her. “Hello you, fancy seeing you in your cozy PJs. Hope I’m not interrupting anything exciting.”

“Nothing, I’m all alone right now.”

She chuckled. “Oh okay, so what’s on your mind, Huntress?”

“How did you find out about the woman following me last time?”

“Oh, I keep an eye on things you know. Surveillance is like my morning coffee. Can’t start the day without it. And when I saw that Miss Zanae Dellé was at the mall, of course I had to see if she was safe.”

“Do you stalk me, Brian?” I asked, smirking.

She laughed, leaning back in her chair, “Think of it more as friendly monitoring. You’ve got a vengeance-seeking, Emir dad, and a dangerous organization on your ass. I’m just ensuring you’re not in danger.”

Crossing my arms, I replied sarcastically, “That’s called stalking.”

She laughed and her smile was wide as she answered. “Okay, maybe a little bit. Besides, I’ve got some news you might find interesting.”

“Oh, tell me, I’m listening.”

Brian explained how the mysterious woman was skilled at avoiding surveillance but slipped up with another camera, capturing her face. “Your own personal detective Zanae,” she teased, smiling proudly.

I was impressed. This woman found more things than anyone in such a small amount of time.

“Do you have any lead on her name?”

“Not really. But in the meantime, we make sure she can’t touch you. Is that good for you, Huntress?”

“Count me in.”

Hours passed, frustration growing in us while we sifted through so many articles and pictures.

Nothing, we find fucking nothing, nada, niente .

We had her damn face, even if it wasn’t the best quality, but even with that, no-fucking-thing.

Brian typing furiously on her phone, said, “I’ve got to run. Caleb is waiting for me. But hey, your man Elijah is putting up some serious threats in the underworld. Your life is under the Zennites’ protection he said. He got your back.”

“What do you mean in the underworld?” I asked, curiously.

“You know, everyone. Polish, Lebanese, Japanese, Colombian too. Oh, and even the Albanians know. That’s actually fucking romantic.”

Oh? Elijah threatened everyone.

It’s not surprising but it’s still a big deal, they had a lot of people on their asses at first when they created this alliance between the Bratva and the Cosa nostra, but now they’re so powerful that he can just put a threat on every organization for me and go out without even flinching? It’s kind of hot.

Even my father was under a threat. Insane .

“Thanks, Brian. Stay safe.”

After the call, I felt a mix of emotions. I decided to check in with him. I don’t even know why he did that, it’s not just some people you menace. He did that with the most dangerous organizations, just for my safety.

Me

Hey you, where are you?

Elijah

The company. Everything alright?

Me

When do you think you’ll be home tonight?

Elijah

About an hour. Everything okay?

Me

Yeah, everything’s fine. Just miss you.

Elijah

Don’t say that, or I’m just gonna drop everything and come back right now.

I laughed at his last text. It’s exactly what I thought he’d say, but today I may have another idea for us.

For that, I texted Nikolai.

Me

Nikolai, can you give me the address to the office?

After just a few moments, he answers back.

Nikolai

Planning a kinky surprise for the Pakhan? I like it. I’ll send it to you in a minute. And don’t forget CONDOMS!!!

Me

Shut up, Niko.

This man, I swear...

I arrived, having taken the time to prepare myself. The building was closed today, Niko gave me the codes to enter without Elijah knowing and he told the guard that I was coming. I entered the empty space and made my way to the back, where a faint light caught my eye.

He was so focused on his work. But he still felt a presence behind him and reacted so quickly, turning toward me, a gun in hand. To his surprise, it wasn’t some kind of threat, it was just me.

Caged in between him and the wall behind me, I laughed at the gun still in his hand even knowing that it was me. “Oh, you still want to kill me, Volkov? I thought we were past that…”

Elijah’s eyes softened with relief. “I could’ve killed you, Milaya .”

“I don’t think so. They call me the huntress, you forgot? Maybe I like the thrill of the chase.”

He leaned in closer, smiling beautifully. “No need to hunt me.”

“Why?”

He lowered his gun, grabbed my throat, and whispered, “Because you already caught me.”

Stunned .

I was fucking stunned.

And then he kissed me, his lips tasting like the drink he just had, pulled back to look at me with curiosity. “What brought you here?”

Still standing close, I smirked and took a seat on his lap, “Let me show you.”

I leaned in, placing a gentle kiss on his lips, and he reciprocated. He slightly backed off and asked me about my call with Brian. While still caressing my face, he listened intently to me. His hand ventured southward, eliciting a small gasp from me.

I felt warmth spreading across my face— damn him .

“What are you doing?” I asked, breathless, so turned on that I felt dizzy.

Elijah smirked, his fingers lightly tracing patterns on my thigh, going up, and up, and up... “Just making sure my distraction is working.”

“So, Brian and I were talking, and she mentioned...”

With a cocky smirk, he adds, “Mentioned what, Milaya ?”

Trying to stay calm, I say with a shaky and breathless voice, “About, you know, the underground world and—” his fingers brushed the lace on the end of my stomach.

Breathe Z, breathe.

Elijah chuckled, his long fingers curling against my waist. “Go on, baby.”

“Well, she said that you?—”

He interrupted me with a kiss. “Details can wait.”

Elijah

I guided her to sit on the desk, all the while kissing her passionately. With my gun still in hand, I untied the knot of her trench coat, revealing my woman sitting there in nothing but lingerie, a sly grin crossing my face.

My woman looks stunning. Hell, she’s incredible.

She was wearing these little black lace panties, the same lace adorning her warm and soft chest; she was devilishly beautiful.

At that moment, I forget everything else—my work, my problems—my focus is on her, only on her. And I wanted nothing more than to care for the exquisite body before me.

“Did you plan on bringing chaos into my day, Lapochka ?”

“Guilty as charged, Volkov. If you can’t pay attention to me, then I can’t just let you work,” she retorted, offering me her beautiful smile.

Leaning in, my voice low and filled with desire, I responded, “Bold move, Miss Dellé, really.”

“I wanted to thank you for being you. I know about the threats.”

With the gun in hand, I traced the curves of her waist and breasts. Gorgeous .

“Never thought I’d appreciate a thankful act this much. How do you know about the threats? I thought I was the one with the dangerous reputation.”

“Maybe I have one too. Brian told me about them, that’s what I was going to tell you before you kissed me.”

I holstered the weapon and caressed her skin with my hands now.

She felt good, warm, and so smooth.

She felt mine .

“Well played, baby. What do you want me to eat first?”

She smiled. “I’m all yours, Mister Volkov. That little suit you have on gives me a lot of ideas.”

“You drive me insane; you know that?”

She tilted her head and smirked. “That’s the idea.”

It’s in her eyes, always in those amber eyes.

Dangerous, loud but so soft.

She smells like heaven, looks like paradise, and is the only way the devil within me can taste the essence of Nirvana.

With a breathless voice, she added, “I’m addicted to the feeling of your hands on me.”

“Good, because I have no intention of stopping.”

In a swift and demanding move, I pulled her into an urgent kiss. Her legs instinctively wrapped around my waist.

I love it when she does that; keeping me where she wants me to be.

Her lips were soft, so wet, so beautiful.

I wanted everything from her, I wanted it all.

Whispering against my lips, she murmured, “So do you like this little surprise?”

Holding her by the waist, I deepened the kiss, nodding and grinning against her mouth. Her fingers found the knot of my cravat, putting me on edge.

Oh, this was too much for me.

I felt so tight in my pants; I was about to explode if she continued acting like that.

Murmuring against her ear, I said, “Playing with me, Zanae?”

With a smirk, she pulled again. “I would never.”

I urgently placed her hand on my erection, our fingers interlocked on it. “See how crazy I am for you, Milaya ?”

Her eyes burned with passion as she kissed me more deeply, her lips pressed against mine with intensity, and her tongue found mine as she sucked on it.

I love her taste so much.

She tightened her legs around my waist, killing me, testing how much I could control the desire I felt for her.

She let out a soft sigh as my hands trailed over her, my favorite melody. “Look at you, all flushed and irresistible, all aroused. You wanted me to fuck you in my office, baby, didn’t you?”

Her cheeks deepened in color, a mixture of desire and playfulness shining in her eyes. Those eyes, I love them so much, ablaze, fucking burning. “Yes,” she breathed.

She kissed me again, her hand moving to unzip my pants. When I felt her fingers touching my hard-on, I lost all capacity to resist. She began stroking me while still kissing me, and I was a fucking goner.

Against my lips, she whispered, “I love when you lose control with me, Elijah.”

I’m blinded by her, so weak for her that I surrendered entirely to her presence. A simple glance of her, and I was on fire.

But now? Right at this moment, I was soaring because of every millimeter of her skin, every degree of warmth emanating from her body - the way her lips moved on mine, the softness of her touch, the sensation of her hair against my skin.

It wasn’t just about sex; it was everything surrounding her, setting me ablaze, making me feel life in the most intense and burning way possible.

She stroked harder, and my hand instinctively grabbed her ass, pulling her impossibly closer. She moaned against my mouth, and I felt her hand working magic down there. Her strokes were perfect, firm, and quick.

“Fuck, that’s perfect, baby. Keep doing that.”

She smiled proudly. “Do you like it?”

“A lot,” I answered between two moans. Fuck , she was killing me.

I controlled myself as long as I could, but when I felt like it was coming, she just lowered her mouth and took my dick between her lips.

Fuck me.

She continued to stroke, and I released myself in her mouth. “You’re making me so proud, Zanae,” I breathed, taking her hair around my fist to maintain her there.

She swallowed everything.

My toy was so pretty with my cum dripping down her chin. “That’s perfect. You look beautiful with my cum on your face and ready to be fucked in my office.”

She got back up, a little smile playing on her lips as she added, “Now, ruin me, Volkov.”

At that moment, nothing else matters.

It was the first time my heart and body resonated in agreement. The intimacy of touching her, feeling her, tasting her, witnessing her lose herself beneath me and because of me, fuck , it was insane.

I lift her into my arms, her legs wrapping around my waist once again, and her arms securing her around my neck. Pressing her against the wall, I guided one of her hands above her head, our fingers intertwining.

In her gaze, I found a world where I only exist for those eyes.

She kissed me, her lips smooth and warm, with a hunger that matches my own.

I gripped her hips, whispering huskily, “Tell me, Milaya , what do you want me to do to you?”

Her gaze locked with mine, her breaths quickened, and in a heated whisper, she confessed, “I want you, Elijah. I crave you; I want it all—your hands, your lips—until I’m so sore that I can still feel you deep inside long after.”

This woman was my downfall, and if death awaited in her eyes, I’d welcome it with a smile. “I’m going to take care of that little perfect cunt of yours.”

I kissed her as if my very breath depended on it, her lips dancing with mine, her body melding with mine, and a soft moan escaping her lips as her groin met mine.

“My, my, Zanae, so needy…” I whispered against her lips.

With my hand, I lowered my pants and pushed the lace of her thong to the side, guiding my cock and caressing her entrance for a few seconds with my tip, feeling how wet she is for me.

“You’re so wet, I can practically taste you from here.”

Her head fell on my shoulder, and in a frustrated voice, she urged me, “Stop being a sadist, Volkov. It’s torture.”

I chuckled, and without warning, I thrusted deeply inside her.

It felt so good that I couldn’t suppress the involuntary sound escaping my lips this time—low and weak. “You like it when I torture you.”

I’m so loud with her, it’s not even funny.

It’s like I can’t help but let her know just how amazing she makes me feel.

“Fuck, I can hardly squeeze in, Milaya .”

I increased the pace of my thrusts, feeling her hand tighten around mine on the wall as she moans my name in ecstasy. “Eli-I-I fuck...”

“Take it like the smart girl you are,” I whispered.

With each movement, her delicate and fragile back pressed against the wall, colliding against it harder each time. The sound urged me on to drive deeper into her and intensify the rhythm of my thrusts.

That agony and ecstasy, her pain and pleasure, it was exhilarating. The fucking moans escaping her fueled my hunger for more of her.

So heavenly, so mine.

Every aspect of her being calls out for me to claim her completely, begging for me to consume her entirely.

One bite on her neck, another profane mark on that pure skin. Staining it with darkness and adoration, finally carving my shadow on her. Zanae welcomed my obscurity with her own dusk, and like obsidian meeting granite, our collision created a black hole of lust and ownership.

Fatal and merciless.

She touched me with passion and desire even if she knew that I was the Devil.

Of course I would keep her forever.

Her voice, her heart, her body, her soul, everything was mine to destroy, to own, to heal, and to worship.

I deepened the kiss, savoring every moment of her losing it, not wanting to miss a single expression of pleasure that crosses her pretty face.

Feeling her let go, her eyes rolling back in pleasure, I increased the intensity of my movements, thrusting faster and harder with each stroke. My right hand firmly gripped her hips as her free hand rested on my back.

“Come on, Milaya . Let me hear just how much you crave me. Tell me how much you love having my cock inside you,” I urged, my voice husky with desire.

“I love it,” she replied, breathless.

My deadly and delicate obsession.

“Fucking perfect,” I exhaled weakly, my voice rough with need.

My grip tightened on her waist, my knuckles turned white as I drove into her with frenzied force. With each second, I bury myself deeper in her, and she whimpered, a breathy, urgent sound slipping from her lips, “ Fuck, fuck, fuck… ”

So desperate for release.

I couldn’t even stop myself, eliciting soft cries from her lips. Helpless to resist, I teased her clit at the same time, savoring the way she trembled against me. “You like that, don’t you, Little nightmare ?”

She nodded, biting her lip to stifle her screams, but I firmly grasped her cheeks, turning her face towards me. “Don’t you dare hold back. I want to hear you scream my name.”

“Oh fuck! Eli!” she let out, her voice trembling.

I looked down and witnessed her taking every fucking inch of me so deeply.

“Made for me. My own slut. Dark and beautiful.”

My cock glided in her easily, wet from her own arousal. If I could stay there, I would fucking stay buried deep inside her until my last breath.

She screamed my name as I delivered one powerful thrust. “Elijah!”

That’s it, that’s all it takes for me to realize—she owns me completely. My name sounded right only when she was the one crying it out.

“My legs… they’re shaking….” She breathed, trying to ride her orgasm away.

I thrusted harder and grabbed her hips to keep her right there. “I’m not done,” I stated, needy and agonizing from pleasure.

She was shaking even more than before, her breathing almost cut, the end of her beautiful stomach tightened and her eyes rolled back.

She was coming, and she was coming hard.

Her climax triggered my own, the sensation of her tightening around me leading me to my own release.

“Fuck, Zanae, that’s it, come for me again.”

It was intense, so intense I could barely stop myself from kissing her as I spilled inside her. Her breath gradually steadied, and I just placed a tender kiss on her temple.

“You got a bit carried away, Volkov. I might be sore for a while.”

I guided her from the wall to the desk, appreciating the sight of her ruined with my cum and saliva

“Are you in pain, Little Nightmare ?”

Her hands cupped my face gently, a blush coloring her cheeks. In a soft voice, she said, quoting me, “I like the pain you inflict on me, Elijah.”

She enjoyed the pain I inflicted on her because she needed it.

The control, the emotional catharsis, and the pleasure entwined with pain—sorrowful and silent. Every shiver on her skin added another letter to my obsession with her.

“Good.”

My hand slid down her body, collecting my cum that was dripping on her thighs with my fingers, ensuring not a drop was wasted, and then plunged them back into her. “Not a drop out of you, Milaya ,” I commanded, eliciting a dark chuckle and gasp from her in response.

“Not a single one out of me, please,” she begged.

My needs with her are destructive. I needed to claim her as mine and only mine, to dominate every thought, every breath, every fear. They’re as catastrophic as they are vital.

She owned me completely—every pulse of my heart, every blinking stare, every sound from my lips, every movement of my body was hers. And it was only fair for me to possess her, because she wasn’t just an obsession anymore; she was a delirium screaming inside my spirit. And it was too late to let this go.

Afterward, I grabbed a tissue and tenderly wiped her with care, kissing every part of her body. I continued laying my mouth on every inch of skin until I arrived at her arm. My heart twisted at the sight before me, I pressed a kiss on her wrist, especially on her scars and gently led her outside.

“I’m taking you home; we need a good shower and a good sleep.”

We exited the building, and I noticed her car parked in front. But I don’t want her to return alone; I want to be with her, not in another car.

“I can’t leave my car here Elijah. Go ahead, and I’ll follow you from behind.”

No chance.

“Come with me; I’ll arrange to get it later.”

I’ll ask Lévi to return it to the penthouse later, but the thought of her being away from me right now is unimaginable.

Am I addicted to her? Absolutely. No fucking doubts.

She nodded, taking my hand, and I took her home.

Entering the penthouse, I lift her up into my arms.

“I’m so exhausted, Eli. Can you put me on the sofa?”

“Why the sofa?”

“I told you I’m tired,” she replied.

I looked at her and shrugged, “You could still sit on my face or lap, but whatever you want, I guess.”

Her head fell back, her laughter, a melody that haunted me, filled the space. “You’re insane. Take me to our room and kiss me until I fall asleep.”

I took the stairs two by two, kissing her forehead. “Yes ma’am.”

That night, I brought the woman whose soul is entwined with mine to our home, caring for her until she drifted into peaceful sleep in my arms.

And it felt like life itself.